diff --git a/new-site/content/library/hackbook/02-01-Introduction.md b/new-site/content/library/hackbook/02-01-Introduction.md index 2873b78e..20620286 100644 --- a/new-site/content/library/hackbook/02-01-Introduction.md +++ b/new-site/content/library/hackbook/02-01-Introduction.md @@ -45,8 +45,7 @@ I certainly never expected to have to cure every PMOer personally. What I though * It takes willpower to quit * Once an addict always an addict * Telling PMOers that it will turn them into robots will make them to quit -* Substitutes, particularly soft porn, reality porn, solo naked only porn etc.. and training toys -such as fleshlight, helps PMOers to regain their full unfading erections. +* Substitutes, particularly soft porn, reality porn, solo naked only porn etc.. and training toys such as fleshlight, helps PMOers to regain their full unfading erections. * All porn is same in their rate of addictiveness * In particular, when I had dispelled the illusion that it is difficult to quit and that you have to go through a transitional period of misery in order to do so, I naively thought that the rest of diff --git a/new-site/content/library/hackbook/02-02-Sister-Kenny.md b/new-site/content/library/hackbook/02-02-Sister-Kenny.md index bd8b1fde..fee8eed1 100644 --- a/new-site/content/library/hackbook/02-02-Sister-Kenny.md +++ b/new-site/content/library/hackbook/02-02-Sister-Kenny.md @@ -31,7 +31,7 @@ Because they don't completely understand PMOers themselves or how to make it eas Someone pointed out that doctors might well find themselves liable to a legal action for malpractice, by not advising their patients of the best way to quit. Ironically he was a great advocate of substituting methods (soft porn, solo, nude only, porn-diet etc), I try hard not to be vindictive, but I hope he becomes the first victim of his suggestion. -There are many websites that talk about the harms of PMO. You can find content that explains scientifically the harms of high speed internet porn on the brain. There is much literature and studies of neuro chemicals and the neuroplasticity of the brain and how it is affected by PMO. I read many comments on forums and blogs of how some were able to overcome the addiction. They might just as well have wasted it on trying to persuade their readers that motorbikes can kill you. Do they not realize that youngsters know that one ‘look’ at a tube site won't kill them and that no youngster ever expects to get hooked? The link between porn and PIED porn induced ED, has been established for some time now. Yet more youngsters are becoming hooked nowadays than ever before. +There are many websites that talk about the harms of PMO. You can find content that explains scientifically the harms of high speed internet porn on the brain. There is much literature and studies of neurochemicals and the neuroplasticity of the brain and how it is affected by PMO. I read many comments on forums and blogs of how some were able to overcome the addiction. They might just as well have wasted it on trying to persuade their readers that motorbikes can kill you. Do they not realize that youngsters know that one ‘look’ at a tube site won't kill them and that no youngster ever expects to get hooked? The link between porn and PIED porn induced ED, has been established for some time now. Yet more youngsters are becoming hooked nowadays than ever before. Youngsters don't need to be preached on the harms of PIED, hypofrontality, dopamine surge and the resulting cutting down of the associated dopamine receptors. Young and old PMOers tend to avoid such materials anyway. Practically every subscriber and reader of sites such as YBOP knows the brain science and the self-sabotage nature of PMO. I myself has seen the damages in my personal life. On a more serious note, two men in my own family had MO addiction ( porn was not prevalent 20 yrs ago) and I can see how they were peevish and melancholic when they felt deprived or guilty related to their MO. But that didn't prevent me from falling into the trap. diff --git a/new-site/content/library/hackbook/03-01-The-Worst-PMO-Addict-I-Have-Yet-to-Meet.md b/new-site/content/library/hackbook/03-01-The-Worst-PMO-Addict-I-Have-Yet-to-Meet.md index 62212b27..f83cdf2d 100644 --- a/new-site/content/library/hackbook/03-01-The-Worst-PMO-Addict-I-Have-Yet-to-Meet.md +++ b/new-site/content/library/hackbook/03-01-The-Worst-PMO-Addict-I-Have-Yet-to-Meet.md @@ -11,11 +11,11 @@ Perhaps I should begin by describing my competence for writing this book. No, I I felt lack of enthusiasm to go to gym or just a walk even if it’s sunny outside or simple weight lifting at home either. I had reached the stage where I gave up even trying to stop. I found excuses in substitute methods (controlled use, safe porn, porn-diet and etc. discussed later) as advocated by sexologists, forum users and medical pros - who have no idea of its effect on brain chemistry and who are themselves fooled by their 'little monster' (not devil or satan - we will talk about monsters later) . The novelty trap and shock value provided by internet porn delivered at home with a low risk high reward deal is something that they can’t even think of. They are still in the static playboy era. And the younger ones have buried their heads under the sand so they can still continue to PMO. -The worst part is it was not so much that I enjoyed the PMO. It was just doing it routinely, a chore - like slipping down the water slides, in fact there are brain water slides greased well by the neuro chemicals (DeltaFosB proteins made by dopamine which store emotion scripts for easy recall, will be discussing later). A simple cue such as a commercial, or a day to day stress that got ‘relieved’ temporarily by PMO is all it takes to complete the ride down the ‘waterslide’. Some time in their lives most PMOers have suffered from the illusion that they enjoy the ride, the novelty, the rush and of course the orgasm, but I never had that illusion. - +The worst part is it was not so much that I enjoyed the PMO. It was just doing it routinely, a chore - like slipping down the water slides, in fact there are brain water slides greased well by the neurochemicals (DeltaFosB proteins made by dopamine which store emotion scripts for easy recall, will be discussing later). A simple cue such as a commercial, or a day to day stress that got ‘relieved’ temporarily by PMO is all it takes to complete the ride down the ‘waterslide’. Some time in their lives most PMOers have suffered from the illusion that they enjoy the ride, the novelty, the rush and of course the orgasm, but I never had that illusion. + I have most times detested the porn, even when I liked the orgasm. But at all times I thought a release from PMO helped me to relax. It gave me courage and confidence, and I was always miserable when I tried to stop, never being able to visualize an enjoyable life without PMO. And so my PMO habit which had started before my marriage stayed with me during and after my marriage was over. I had experienced PIED but I blocked it out and found excuses , “it happens to every man”. Well it does of course - but 'it' happened to me again and again. My penis, I found it difficult to get hard - when I am with real woman. Could it be because I had habituated it to work in limp mode? Later I found that it was hard for me to get hard even with porn. -My girlfriend gave a book by Dr David Burns - which I liked very much. I also practised the exercises and got interested in it. Through the book I came to know of Dr. Abraham Low and his books on rational therapy - it is now known as Recovery International. At the same time - my soon to be ex-wife also sent me to a therapist. I completed therapy - and was getting out of my mental rut and started a new beginning in my life. I continued my reading and self education from the above two authors and started to read about REBT and Dr. Albert Ellis. I poured into all of his books and got myself well trained in REBT. I still practice it on a daily bases. I do ABC write ups (and DE and F as well)[^1] and actively journal my daily endorsements. I keep my DML (daily mood logs) and Endorse documents in an online spreadsheet. +My girlfriend gave a book by Dr David Burns - which I liked very much. I also practiced the exercises and got interested in it. Through the book I came to know of Dr. Abraham Low and his books on rational therapy - it is now known as Recovery International. At the same time - my soon to be ex-wife also sent me to a therapist. I completed therapy - and was getting out of my mental rut and started a new beginning in my life. I continued my reading and self education from the above two authors and started to read about REBT and Dr. Albert Ellis. I poured into all of his books and got myself well trained in REBT. I still practice it on a daily bases. I do ABC write ups (and DE and F as well)[^1] and actively journal my daily endorsements. I keep my DML (daily mood logs) and Endorse documents in an online spreadsheet. I was able to spot my rigid beliefs, exaggerations, self-rating and low frustration tolerance and immediately self-talk myself to have healthy negative emotions when needed. I was able to get my alcohol intake under control, cigarettes were on and off, and I rode through divorces. The point is that I was able to go through them all with the lowest disturbance in any random test set of divorced 40 yr old guys. However, I was still struggling with the occasional excesses that are inevitable with alcohol. I absolutely hated the cigarettes. I was aware of my (and the little monster's) efforts to dig a hole and hide my head in sand about my daily PMO affecting my sex life. I had two incidences of PIED, and found substitutes in getting a fleshlight to simulate a female vagina and also as a form of stamina training. diff --git a/new-site/content/library/hackbook/03-03-Why-is-it-Difficult-to-Stop.md b/new-site/content/library/hackbook/03-03-Why-is-it-Difficult-to-Stop.md index 652eb57b..851aba87 100644 --- a/new-site/content/library/hackbook/03-03-Why-is-it-Difficult-to-Stop.md +++ b/new-site/content/library/hackbook/03-03-Why-is-it-Difficult-to-Stop.md @@ -23,7 +23,7 @@ As I said previously, the problem is not explaining why it is easy to stop; it i The whole business of porn is an extraordinary enigma. One of the reasons we get on to it is because of the thousands of people are already into it, about 35% of the population approximately. Yet every one of them wishes he or she had not started in the first place, telling us that life is like driving in second gear. We cannot quite believe they are not enjoying it. We associate it with freedom or being “sex-educated” and work hard to become hooked ourselves. We then spend the rest of our lives telling others not to do it and trying to kick the habit ourselves. -We also spend the rest of our lives feeling hopeless and miserable. Time spent on porn can accumulate to a large percentage of our life in this planet! What do we do with that amount of time spent? We ‘educate’ ourselves with supranormal[^1] ‘material’ that makes us stupidly prefer and childishly long for these cold images - even when warm real ones are available. By the constant surge and drop of dopamine induced by PMO, we sentence ourselves to a lifetime of irritability, anger, frustration, stress, fatigue[^3], PIED, hypofrontality etc. In short, it is a lifetime of slavery. It is logically and intuitively clear that amative sex (physical touch, feel, voice etc.) is the best part of sex and is even better (if Karezza[^2] is practised, although not necessary for the current purposes) than the propagative (orgasm) part, except when children are desired. So, when we use porn in the absence of the best part of sex we feel miserable and guilty. +We also spend the rest of our lives feeling hopeless and miserable. Time spent on porn can accumulate to a large percentage of our life in this planet! What do we do with that amount of time spent? We ‘educate’ ourselves with supranormal[^1] ‘material’ that makes us stupidly prefer and childishly long for these cold images - even when warm real ones are available. By the constant surge and drop of dopamine induced by PMO, we sentence ourselves to a lifetime of irritability, anger, frustration, stress, fatigue[^3], PIED, hypofrontality etc. In short, it is a lifetime of slavery. It is logically and intuitively clear that amative sex (physical touch, feel, voice etc.) is the best part of sex and is even better (if Karezza[^2] is practiced, although not necessary for the current purposes) than the propagative (orgasm) part, except when children are desired. So, when we use porn in the absence of the best part of sex we feel miserable and guilty. In fact, all the reading about internet pornography's addictive capabilities and it’s destructive effects here and in other online sites makes us even more nervous and hopeless. When we are trying to cut down or stop, we end up feeling deprived. We wish we didn't have to. What sort of hobby is it that when you are doing it you wish you weren't, and when you are not doing it you crave for it? A lifetime of an otherwise intelligent, rational human being going through life in contempt. diff --git a/new-site/content/library/hackbook/03-06-Internet-Porn.md b/new-site/content/library/hackbook/03-06-Internet-Porn.md index e5f0d7b4..4152c877 100644 --- a/new-site/content/library/hackbook/03-06-Internet-Porn.md +++ b/new-site/content/library/hackbook/03-06-Internet-Porn.md @@ -65,11 +65,11 @@ We talk about internet porn being relaxing or giving satisfaction. But how can y ## A Pleasure or Crutch? -Forgive me if I dwell on this subject for a moment. The main reason that PMOers find it difficult to quit is that they believe that they are giving up a genuine pleasure or crutch. It is absolutely essential to understand that you are giving up nothing whatsoever. The best way to understand the subtleties of the PMO trap is to compare it with eating. If we are in the habit of eating regular meals, we are not aware of being hungry between meals. Only if the meal is delayed are we aware of being hungry, and even then, there is no physical pain, just an empty, insecure feeling which we know as: 'I need to eat.' And the process of satisfying our hunger is a very pleasantpastime. +Forgive me if I dwell on this subject for a moment. The main reason that PMOers find it difficult to quit is that they believe that they are giving up a genuine pleasure or crutch. It is absolutely essential to understand that you are giving up nothing whatsoever. The best way to understand the subtleties of the PMO trap is to compare it with eating. If we are in the habit of eating regular meals, we are not aware of being hungry between meals. Only if the meal is delayed are we aware of being hungry, and even then, there is no physical pain, just an empty, insecure feeling which we know as: 'I need to eat.' And the process of satisfying our hunger is a very pleasant pastime. PMOing appears to be almost identical. The empty, insecure feeling which we know as: 'wanting or needing an PMO orgasm’ is identical to a hunger for food, although one will not satisfy the other. Like hunger, there is no physical pain and the feeling is so imperceptible that we are not even aware of it between PMO sessions. It's only if we want to masturbate and aren't able to reach internet for porn that we become aware of any discomfort. But when we do PMO we feel satisfied. -It is this similarity to eating which helps to fool PMOers into believing that they receive some genuine pleasure. Some PMOers find it very difficult to grasp that there is no pleasure or crutch, whatsoever to PMO. Some argue: “How can you say there is no crutch? When I orgasm up then I'llfeel less nervous than before.” +It is this similarity to eating which helps to fool PMOers into believing that they receive some genuine pleasure. Some PMOers find it very difficult to grasp that there is no pleasure or crutch, whatsoever to PMO. Some argue: “How can you say there is no crutch? When I orgasm up then I'll feel less nervous than before.” Although eating and PMOing appear to be very similar. In fact they are exact opposites: 1. You eat to survive and to energize your life, whereas PMOing dims your mojo and cuts down your energy. diff --git a/new-site/content/library/hackbook/03-12-Relaxation.md b/new-site/content/library/hackbook/03-12-Relaxation.md index 93185fe7..56471bdb 100644 --- a/new-site/content/library/hackbook/03-12-Relaxation.md +++ b/new-site/content/library/hackbook/03-12-Relaxation.md @@ -25,7 +25,7 @@ On the Internet I read about a single dad whose 6 year old son would want to sha Let me try a smoking analogy here... a couple of years ago, the adoption authorities threatened to prevent smokers from adopting children. A man rang up, irate. He said, “you are completely wrong. I can remember when I was a child, if I had a contentious matter to raise with my mother, I would wait until she lit a cigarette because she was more relaxed then.” Why couldn't he talk to his mother when she wasn't smoking a cigarette? -Why are PMOers so stressd when they are not getting their fix, even after a real sex with a real woman? I read about a guy who has 9's and 10's open for dating with him as he was in the advertising field. I am talking about dinner and stuff only - but he lost interest in those dinners as his Internet porn is far more ‘easy’ for him - no restaurant spending and no hearing a ‘no’ from his date at the end of an evening. Why would he bother when his little monster tells him about the low-risk high-reward scheme called PMO that is at his fingertips when he reaches home? Those real girls sure have competition. +Why are PMOers so stressed when they are not getting their fix, even after a real sex with a real woman? I read about a guy who has 9's and 10's open for dating with him as he was in the advertising field. I am talking about dinner and stuff only - but he lost interest in those dinners as his Internet porn is far more ‘easy’ for him - no restaurant spending and no hearing a ‘no’ from his date at the end of an evening. Why would he bother when his little monster tells him about the low-risk high-reward scheme called PMO that is at his fingertips when he reaches home? Those real girls sure have competition. Why are non-PMOers completely relaxed then? Why are PMOers not able to relax without a fix for a day or two? If you read about the experience of a PMOer taking the abstinence oath and quitting and you notice his struggle with the temptations. You can clearly see that they are not relaxed at all when they are not allowed to have the ‘only pleasure’ they are “entitled to enjoy.” They've forgotten what it feels like to be completely relaxed. That's one of the many joys you have to come. The whole business of PMOing can be likened to a fly being caught in a pitcher plant. To begin with, the fly is eating the nectar. At some imperceptible stage the plant begins to eat the fly. diff --git a/new-site/content/library/hackbook/03-18-Energy.md b/new-site/content/library/hackbook/03-18-Energy.md index 7c63f88a..e84c36f2 100644 --- a/new-site/content/library/hackbook/03-18-Energy.md +++ b/new-site/content/library/hackbook/03-18-Energy.md @@ -19,7 +19,7 @@ As a teenager, I can remember rushing around just for the hell of it. I was inte I then was introduced to print porn, then came music TV channels, followed by static computer images. By this time I was permanently tired and lethargic. Then came internet porn of images and downloadable movies. I used to struggle to wake up at nine o'clock in the morning. After my evening meal I would already be thinking about porn before going to bed, even when I had a girlfriend. Sex with her was a ‘chore’. But PMO with internet porn had all the novelty, shock, etc. No one can match that lure. And then the internet upped its game with tube sites, catalogued porn genres, ‘hearting’ favorites and all in lightning speed, high quality, no traces of downloads. Even the browsers went incognito, thoroughly helping me to cover my tracks. Reward with no pains. -By this time, the lack of energy, tiredness and everything related to it is nicely swept under the rug of ‘getting’ older. My friends and colleagues by this time are all living sedentary lifestyles. I hought this behaviour was normal. I believed that energy was the exclusive prerogative of children and teenagers, and that old age began in the early twenties. I did not notice that I was paying attention to my health in general by eating right - which they did not. But I did not notice that anomaly. +By this time, the lack of energy, tiredness and everything related to it is nicely swept under the rug of ‘getting’ older. My friends and colleagues by this time are all living sedentary lifestyles. I thought this behaviour was normal. I believed that energy was the exclusive prerogative of children and teenagers, and that old age began in the early twenties. I did not notice that I was paying attention to my health in general by eating right - which they did not. But I did not notice that anomaly. Shortly after I stopped PMO, I was relieved that this foggy and muggy feeling left me. For example, I can keep a steady gaze with my eyes on just about anything for a longer time. If I am looking into someone’s eyes it is even longer. However something truly marvellous and unexpected also happened. I started waking at seven o'clock in the morning feeling completely rested and full of energy, actually wanting to exercise, jog and swim. I have read about a forty-eight year old who couldn't run a step or swim a stroke. The only sporting activities were confined to such dynamic pursuits as green bowling, affectionately referred to as “the old man's game,” and golf, for which he had to use a motorized cart. But after quitting PMO he started going to gym - not that it is necessary that everyone would - but still. Almost all us know that it's great to have energy and when you feel physically and mentally strong, it feels great to be alive. diff --git a/new-site/content/library/hackbook/03-24-Casual-PMOers-Teenagers-Non-PMOers.md b/new-site/content/library/hackbook/03-24-Casual-PMOers-Teenagers-Non-PMOers.md index 8bc935f1..dd13907e 100644 --- a/new-site/content/library/hackbook/03-24-Casual-PMOers-Teenagers-Non-PMOers.md +++ b/new-site/content/library/hackbook/03-24-Casual-PMOers-Teenagers-Non-PMOers.md @@ -63,7 +63,7 @@ The second category is recently getting attention. The type can best be describe They make the mistake of assuming that casual PMOers are happier and more in control. In control they may be but happy they are not. In this case, she is not satisfied with her partner, not interested in real sex, highly irritable with her daily stress and strains. Her nearest-and-dearest could not find out what is bothering her. Even if she convinced herself not to be afraid of her use of internet porn by rationalizing, she still finds herself not being able to enjoy real relationships which almost invariably involve ups and downs. Her brain’s RC[^1] is not able to make use of the normal de-stress brain chemicals as she is flooding dopamine into her brain on an everyday basis. The down regulation[^2] of her brain receptors has rendered her melancholic most times. Like me, she had a great fear of internet porn’s dark side of the treatment of women- before her first time. Like me, she eventually fell victim to the massive social brainwash and tried that first porn site. Like me, she can remember the foul clips of violence staged as entertainment. Unlike me, who capitulated and became a chain-PMOer very quickly, she resisted the slide. [^1]: **RC** - reward circuits. -[^2]: **Regulation** - Up and down regulation is a natural reactionary process of the brain to adjust receptors and or their neuro-transmitters based on the level that is present. +[^2]: **Regulation** - Up and down regulation is a natural reactionary process of the brain to adjust receptors and or their neurotransmitters based on the level that is present. All you ever enjoy in PMO is the ending of the craving that started before it, whether it be the almost imperceptible physical craving for dopamine or the mental torture caused by not being allowed to scratch the itch. Internet porn itself is a poison as far as it concerns you. This is why you only suffer the illusion of enjoying it after a period of abstinence. Just like a hunger or thirst, the longer you suffer it, the greater the pleasure when you finally relieve it. PMOers make the mistake of believing PMO is just a habit. They think, “if I can only keep it down to a certain level or do only on special occasions, my brain and body will accept it. I can then keep my PMOing at that level or cut down further should I wish to.” Get it clear in your mind: the 'habit' doesn't exist. PMOing is drug addiction. The natural tendency is to relieve withdrawal pangs, not to endure them. Even to hold it at the level you are already at, you would have to exercise willpower and discipline for the rest of your life because as your brain's RC becomes immune to dopamine and opioids, it wants more and more, not less and less. As PMO begins to destroy you physically and mentally, as it gradually breaks down your nervous system, your courage and confidence, your impulse controls, so you are increasingly unable to resist reducing the interval between each session. @@ -89,4 +89,4 @@ Teenagers are generally more difficult to cure, not because they find it difficu I would like particularly to warn parents of children who loathe internet porn not to have a false sense of security. All children loathe the dark sides of porn until they become hooked. You did too at one time. Also do not be fooled by scare campaigns. The trap is the same as it always was. Children know that internet porn is supranormal stimuli but they also know that one ‘visit’ or ‘peek’ will not do it. At some stage they may be influenced by a girlfriend or boyfriend, school friend or work colleague. -You may think that all they need is an education in brain plasticity and that PMO (including even masturbation) acts like a virus in their brain programme to convince them they could never become hooked. I find society's failure to prevent our children from becoming addicted to internet porn and other drugs to be the most disturbing of all the many disturbing facets of addiction. I beg you not to be complacent in this matter. It is necessary to protect youngsters as their brain is more plastic at that age. I strongly urge you to read the YBOP book and educate yourself of the brain science. Even if you suspect your teenager might lready be hooked, the book will provide excellent guidance to assist in gaining understanding for someone to escape. \ No newline at end of file +You may think that all they need is an education in brain plasticity and that PMO (including even masturbation) acts like a virus in their brain programme to convince them they could never become hooked. I find society's failure to prevent our children from becoming addicted to internet porn and other drugs to be the most disturbing of all the many disturbing facets of addiction. I beg you not to be complacent in this matter. It is necessary to protect youngsters as their brain is more plastic at that age. I strongly urge you to read the YBOP book and educate yourself of the brain science. Even if you suspect your teenager might already be hooked, the book will provide excellent guidance to assist in gaining understanding for someone to escape. \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/new-site/public/blog/index.xml b/new-site/public/blog/index.xml index b689849e..1425c20d 100644 --- a/new-site/public/blog/index.xml +++ b/new-site/public/blog/index.xml @@ -3525,7 +3525,7 @@ Get out of the habit of envying PMOers and start seeing them as the miserable, p </blockquote> <p>Teenagers are generally more difficult to cure, not because they find it difficult to stop but because either they do not believe they are hooked or they are at the primary stage of the trap and suffer from the delusion that they will automatically have stopped before the secondary stage.</p> <p>I would like particularly to warn parents of children who loathe internet porn not to have a false sense of security. All children loathe the dark sides of porn until they become hooked. You did too at one time. Also do not be fooled by scare campaigns. The trap is the same as it always was. Children know that internet porn is supranormal stimuli but they also know that one ‘visit’ or ‘peek’ will not do it. At some stage they may be influenced by a girlfriend or boyfriend, school friend or work colleague.</p> -<p>You may think that all they need is an education in brain plasticity and that PMO (including even masturbation) acts like a virus in their brain programme to convince them they could never become hooked. I find society&rsquo;s failure to prevent our children from becoming addicted to internet porn and other drugs to be the most disturbing of all the many disturbing facets of addiction. I beg you not to be complacent in this matter. It is necessary to protect youngsters as their brain is more plastic at that age. I strongly urge you to read the YBOP book and educate yourself of the brain science. Even if you suspect your teenager might lready be hooked, the book will provide excellent guidance to assist in gaining understanding for someone to escape.</p> +<p>You may think that all they need is an education in brain plasticity and that PMO (including even masturbation) acts like a virus in their brain programme to convince them they could never become hooked. I find society&rsquo;s failure to prevent our children from becoming addicted to internet porn and other drugs to be the most disturbing of all the many disturbing facets of addiction. I beg you not to be complacent in this matter. It is necessary to protect youngsters as their brain is more plastic at that age. I strongly urge you to read the YBOP book and educate yourself of the brain science. Even if you suspect your teenager might already be hooked, the book will provide excellent guidance to assist in gaining understanding for someone to escape.</p> <div class="footnotes" role="doc-endnotes"> <hr> <ol> @@ -3533,7 +3533,7 @@ Get out of the habit of envying PMOers and start seeing them as the miserable, p <p><strong>RC</strong> - reward circuits.&#160;<a href="#fnref:1" class="footnote-backref" role="doc-backlink">&#x21a9;&#xfe0e;</a></p> </li> <li id="fn:2"> -<p><strong>Regulation</strong> - Up and down regulation is a natural reactionary process of the brain to adjust receptors and or their neuro-transmitters based on the level that is present.&#160;<a href="#fnref:2" class="footnote-backref" role="doc-backlink">&#x21a9;&#xfe0e;</a></p> +<p><strong>Regulation</strong> - Up and down regulation is a natural reactionary process of the brain to adjust receptors and or their neurotransmitters based on the level that is present.&#160;<a href="#fnref:2" class="footnote-backref" role="doc-backlink">&#x21a9;&#xfe0e;</a></p> </li> </ol> </div> @@ -3758,7 +3758,7 @@ Get out of the habit of envying PMOers and start seeing them as the miserable, p <p>The fact that it took you twenty years to reach that state is irrelevant. So it is with PMOing. If I could immediately transfer you into your mind and body to give you a direct comparison on how you would feel having stopped internet porn for just three weeks, that is all I would need to do to persuade you to quit. You would think: “Will I really feel this good?” Or what it really amounts to: “Had I really sunk that low?” I emphasize that I don&rsquo;t just mean that you would feel healthier and have more energy but how you would also feel more confident and relaxed and better able to concentrate.</p> <p>As a teenager, I can remember rushing around just for the hell of it. I was interested in reading, I had set up a chemical lab, tried fixing (old CRT) TVs, dabbled with cooking etc. I was fascinated by scientists. Then I got attracted to makers and doers of the rag-to-riches lives of real people. I had the inner push and I knew I had it.</p> <p>I then was introduced to print porn, then came music TV channels, followed by static computer images. By this time I was permanently tired and lethargic. Then came internet porn of images and downloadable movies. I used to struggle to wake up at nine o&rsquo;clock in the morning. After my evening meal I would already be thinking about porn before going to bed, even when I had a girlfriend. Sex with her was a ‘chore’. But PMO with internet porn had all the novelty, shock, etc. No one can match that lure. And then the internet upped its game with tube sites, catalogued porn genres, ‘hearting’ favorites and all in lightning speed, high quality, no traces of downloads. Even the browsers went incognito, thoroughly helping me to cover my tracks. Reward with no pains.</p> -<p>By this time, the lack of energy, tiredness and everything related to it is nicely swept under the rug of ‘getting’ older. My friends and colleagues by this time are all living sedentary lifestyles. I hought this behaviour was normal. I believed that energy was the exclusive prerogative of children and teenagers, and that old age began in the early twenties. I did not notice that I was paying attention to my health in general by eating right - which they did not. But I did not notice that anomaly.</p> +<p>By this time, the lack of energy, tiredness and everything related to it is nicely swept under the rug of ‘getting’ older. My friends and colleagues by this time are all living sedentary lifestyles. I thought this behaviour was normal. I believed that energy was the exclusive prerogative of children and teenagers, and that old age began in the early twenties. I did not notice that I was paying attention to my health in general by eating right - which they did not. But I did not notice that anomaly.</p> <p>Shortly after I stopped PMO, I was relieved that this foggy and muggy feeling left me. For example, I can keep a steady gaze with my eyes on just about anything for a longer time. If I am looking into someone’s eyes it is even longer. However something truly marvellous and unexpected also happened. I started waking at seven o&rsquo;clock in the morning feeling completely rested and full of energy, actually wanting to exercise, jog and swim. I have read about a forty-eight year old who couldn&rsquo;t run a step or swim a stroke. The only sporting activities were confined to such dynamic pursuits as green bowling, affectionately referred to as “the old man&rsquo;s game,” and golf, for which he had to use a motorized cart. But after quitting PMO he started going to gym - not that it is necessary that everyone would - but still. Almost all us know that it&rsquo;s great to have energy and when you feel physically and mentally strong, it feels great to be alive.</p> <p>That is the point with PMOing - you are always debiting your energy. And in that process tampering with your brain codes of the reward circuit. Which again is going to make you miserable and vulnerable to stress and strain attacks. Unfortunately when you feel down with all of this you will seek a cigarette or alcohol or again porn. Unlike quitting smoking, where the return of your physical and mental health is only gradual, quitting PMO gives you excellent results from day one. Starting with energy. Then your mental programming to close the ‘water slides’ takes a bit of time. You need to kill the Little Monster - which will be explained in later chapters. Recovering your RC is nothing like as slow as the slide into the pit and if you are going through the trauma of the willpower method of quitting, any health or energy gains will be obliterated by the depression you will be going through. Unfortunately, I cannot immediately transfer you into your mind and body in three weeks&rsquo; time. But you can! You know instinctively that what I am telling you is correct. All you need to do is: USE YOUR IMAGINATION!</p> @@ -4028,7 +4028,7 @@ pleasure.”</em></p> <p>Every time I hear a porn addict trying to justify his addiction the message is, “Oh, it calms me. It helps me to relax.”</p> <p>On the Internet I read about a single dad whose 6 year old son would want to share his bed sometimes in the night after a scary movie yet the dad would refuse under some pretence so he can have his PMO session and edge for hours.</p> <p>Let me try a smoking analogy here&hellip; a couple of years ago, the adoption authorities threatened to prevent smokers from adopting children. A man rang up, irate. He said, “you are completely wrong. I can remember when I was a child, if I had a contentious matter to raise with my mother, I would wait until she lit a cigarette because she was more relaxed then.” Why couldn&rsquo;t he talk to his mother when she wasn&rsquo;t smoking a cigarette?</p> -<p>Why are PMOers so stressd when they are not getting their fix, even after a real sex with a real woman? I read about a guy who has 9&rsquo;s and 10&rsquo;s open for dating with him as he was in the advertising field. I am talking about dinner and stuff only - but he lost interest in those dinners as his Internet porn is far more ‘easy’ for him - no restaurant spending and no hearing a ‘no’ from his date at the end of an evening. Why would he bother when his little monster tells him about the low-risk high-reward scheme called PMO that is at his fingertips when he reaches home? Those real girls sure have competition.</p> +<p>Why are PMOers so stressed when they are not getting their fix, even after a real sex with a real woman? I read about a guy who has 9&rsquo;s and 10&rsquo;s open for dating with him as he was in the advertising field. I am talking about dinner and stuff only - but he lost interest in those dinners as his Internet porn is far more ‘easy’ for him - no restaurant spending and no hearing a ‘no’ from his date at the end of an evening. Why would he bother when his little monster tells him about the low-risk high-reward scheme called PMO that is at his fingertips when he reaches home? Those real girls sure have competition.</p> <p>Why are non-PMOers completely relaxed then? Why are PMOers not able to relax without a fix for a day or two? If you read about the experience of a PMOer taking the abstinence oath and quitting and you notice his struggle with the temptations. You can clearly see that they are not relaxed at all when they are not allowed to have the ‘only pleasure’ they are “entitled to enjoy.” They&rsquo;ve forgotten what it feels like to be completely relaxed. That&rsquo;s one of the many joys you have to come. The whole business of PMOing can be likened to a fly being caught in a pitcher plant. To begin with, the fly is eating the nectar. At some imperceptible stage the plant begins to eat the fly.</p> <p>Isn&rsquo;t it time you climbed out of that plant?</p> @@ -4251,9 +4251,9 @@ became addicted. However, the satisfaction is only temporary because in order to <p>We talk about internet porn being relaxing or giving satisfaction. But how can you be satisfied unless you were dissatisfied in the first place? Why don&rsquo;t non-PMOer suffer from this dissatisfied state and why, after a no-sex date, when the non-PMOers are completely relaxed, are PMOers completely unrelaxed until they have satisfied their &rsquo;little monster&rsquo;?</p> <h2 id="a-pleasure-or-crutch">A Pleasure or Crutch? <a class="anchor" href="#a-pleasure-or-crutch"> <span class="spanForHeader">¶</span> -</a></h2><p>Forgive me if I dwell on this subject for a moment. The main reason that PMOers find it difficult to quit is that they believe that they are giving up a genuine pleasure or crutch. It is absolutely essential to understand that you are giving up nothing whatsoever. The best way to understand the subtleties of the PMO trap is to compare it with eating. If we are in the habit of eating regular meals, we are not aware of being hungry between meals. Only if the meal is delayed are we aware of being hungry, and even then, there is no physical pain, just an empty, insecure feeling which we know as: &lsquo;I need to eat.&rsquo; And the process of satisfying our hunger is a very pleasantpastime.</p> +</a></h2><p>Forgive me if I dwell on this subject for a moment. The main reason that PMOers find it difficult to quit is that they believe that they are giving up a genuine pleasure or crutch. It is absolutely essential to understand that you are giving up nothing whatsoever. The best way to understand the subtleties of the PMO trap is to compare it with eating. If we are in the habit of eating regular meals, we are not aware of being hungry between meals. Only if the meal is delayed are we aware of being hungry, and even then, there is no physical pain, just an empty, insecure feeling which we know as: &lsquo;I need to eat.&rsquo; And the process of satisfying our hunger is a very pleasant pastime.</p> <p>PMOing appears to be almost identical. The empty, insecure feeling which we know as: &lsquo;wanting or needing an PMO orgasm’ is identical to a hunger for food, although one will not satisfy the other. Like hunger, there is no physical pain and the feeling is so imperceptible that we are not even aware of it between PMO sessions. It&rsquo;s only if we want to masturbate and aren&rsquo;t able to reach internet for porn that we become aware of any discomfort. But when we do PMO we feel satisfied.</p> -<p>It is this similarity to eating which helps to fool PMOers into believing that they receive some genuine pleasure. Some PMOers find it very difficult to grasp that there is no pleasure or crutch, whatsoever to PMO. Some argue: “How can you say there is no crutch? When I orgasm up then I&rsquo;llfeel less nervous than before.”</p> +<p>It is this similarity to eating which helps to fool PMOers into believing that they receive some genuine pleasure. Some PMOers find it very difficult to grasp that there is no pleasure or crutch, whatsoever to PMO. Some argue: “How can you say there is no crutch? When I orgasm up then I&rsquo;ll feel less nervous than before.”</p> <p>Although eating and PMOing appear to be very similar. In fact they are exact opposites:</p> <ol> <li>You eat to survive and to energize your life, whereas PMOing dims your mojo and cuts down your energy.</li> @@ -4379,7 +4379,7 @@ became addicted. However, the satisfaction is only temporary because in order to <p>All PMOers feel that something evil has got possession of them. In the early days it is a question of, “I am going to stop, not today but tomorrow.” Eventually we get to the stage where we think either that we haven&rsquo;t got the willpower or that there is something inherent in the whole PMO that we must have in order to enjoy life.</p> <p>As I said previously, the problem is not explaining why it is easy to stop; it is explaining why it is difficult. In fact, the real problem is explaining scientifically why anybody does it even after getting the insights on the neurological damages of addictions not limited to porn.</p> <p>The whole business of porn is an extraordinary enigma. One of the reasons we get on to it is because of the thousands of people are already into it, about 35% of the population approximately. Yet every one of them wishes he or she had not started in the first place, telling us that life is like driving in second gear. We cannot quite believe they are not enjoying it. We associate it with freedom or being “sex-educated” and work hard to become hooked ourselves. We then spend the rest of our lives telling others not to do it and trying to kick the habit ourselves.</p> -<p>We also spend the rest of our lives feeling hopeless and miserable. Time spent on porn can accumulate to a large percentage of our life in this planet! What do we do with that amount of time spent? We ‘educate’ ourselves with supranormal<sup id="fnref:1"><a href="#fn:1" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">1</a></sup> ‘material’ that makes us stupidly prefer and childishly long for these cold images - even when warm real ones are available. By the constant surge and drop of dopamine induced by PMO, we sentence ourselves to a lifetime of irritability, anger, frustration, stress, fatigue<sup id="fnref:2"><a href="#fn:2" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">2</a></sup>, PIED, hypofrontality etc. In short, it is a lifetime of slavery. It is logically and intuitively clear that amative sex (physical touch, feel, voice etc.) is the best part of sex and is even better (if Karezza<sup id="fnref:3"><a href="#fn:3" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">3</a></sup> is practised, although not necessary for the current purposes) than the propagative (orgasm) part, except when children are desired. So, when we use porn in the absence of the best part of sex we feel miserable and guilty.</p> +<p>We also spend the rest of our lives feeling hopeless and miserable. Time spent on porn can accumulate to a large percentage of our life in this planet! What do we do with that amount of time spent? We ‘educate’ ourselves with supranormal<sup id="fnref:1"><a href="#fn:1" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">1</a></sup> ‘material’ that makes us stupidly prefer and childishly long for these cold images - even when warm real ones are available. By the constant surge and drop of dopamine induced by PMO, we sentence ourselves to a lifetime of irritability, anger, frustration, stress, fatigue<sup id="fnref:2"><a href="#fn:2" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">2</a></sup>, PIED, hypofrontality etc. In short, it is a lifetime of slavery. It is logically and intuitively clear that amative sex (physical touch, feel, voice etc.) is the best part of sex and is even better (if Karezza<sup id="fnref:3"><a href="#fn:3" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">3</a></sup> is practiced, although not necessary for the current purposes) than the propagative (orgasm) part, except when children are desired. So, when we use porn in the absence of the best part of sex we feel miserable and guilty.</p> <p>In fact, all the reading about internet pornography&rsquo;s addictive capabilities and it’s destructive effects here and in other online sites makes us even more nervous and hopeless. When we are trying to cut down or stop, we end up feeling deprived. We wish we didn&rsquo;t have to. What sort of hobby is it that when you are doing it you wish you weren&rsquo;t, and when you are not doing it you crave for it? A lifetime of an otherwise intelligent, rational human being going through life in contempt.</p> <p>The PMOer despises himself, every time he has an unreliable erection, a fading penetration, reading about PIED and other stuff on the YBOP forum, every time he could not pull himself up to exercise after a daytime PMO, every PMO behind his or her trustfully asleep partner’s back, every time he sees his tired face and lifeless eyes in the restroom mirror.</p> <p>Having to go through life with these awful black shadows at the back of his mind, what does he get out of it? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! Pleasure? Enjoyment? Relaxation? A prop? A boost? All illusions, unless you consider the wearing of tight shoes to enjoy the removal of them as some sort of pleasure!</p> @@ -4468,9 +4468,9 @@ man and woman from performance based anxieties.&#160;<a href="#fnref: <span class="spanForHeader">¶</span> </a></h2><p>Perhaps I should begin by describing my competence for writing this book. No, I am not a doctor or a psychiatrist; my qualifications are far more appropriate. I spent thirty years of my life as a confirmed fapper. In the later years I used porn on a daily bases to get orgasm(s).During my life I had made a great number of attempts to stop. I never got past a full week of abstinence, and I was still climbing up the wall, with an “annoying alarm clock beeping” in my head called craving. With most PMOers, on the health side, it&rsquo;s a question of “ I&rsquo;ll stop before it happens to me.” I had reached the stage where I knew it has caused PIED, hypofrontality (inability to control and execute action towards a goal), irritability, lack of energy, soulless eyes, mental dryness, stress and pain in the lower back, genital irritations. It bothered me, but it still didn&rsquo;t stop me.</p> <p>I felt lack of enthusiasm to go to gym or just a walk even if it’s sunny outside or simple weight lifting at home either. I had reached the stage where I gave up even trying to stop. I found excuses in substitute methods (controlled use, safe porn, porn-diet and etc. discussed later) as advocated by sexologists, forum users and medical pros - who have no idea of its effect on brain chemistry and who are themselves fooled by their &rsquo;little monster&rsquo; (not devil or satan - we will talk about monsters later) . The novelty trap and shock value provided by internet porn delivered at home with a low risk high reward deal is something that they can’t even think of. They are still in the static playboy era. And the younger ones have buried their heads under the sand so they can still continue to PMO.</p> -<p>The worst part is it was not so much that I enjoyed the PMO. It was just doing it routinely, a chore - like slipping down the water slides, in fact there are brain water slides greased well by the neuro chemicals (DeltaFosB proteins made by dopamine which store emotion scripts for easy recall, will be discussing later). A simple cue such as a commercial, or a day to day stress that got ‘relieved’ temporarily by PMO is all it takes to complete the ride down the ‘waterslide’. Some time in their lives most PMOers have suffered from the illusion that they enjoy the ride, the novelty, the rush and of course the orgasm, but I never had that illusion.</p> +<p>The worst part is it was not so much that I enjoyed the PMO. It was just doing it routinely, a chore - like slipping down the water slides, in fact there are brain water slides greased well by the neurochemicals (DeltaFosB proteins made by dopamine which store emotion scripts for easy recall, will be discussing later). A simple cue such as a commercial, or a day to day stress that got ‘relieved’ temporarily by PMO is all it takes to complete the ride down the ‘waterslide’. Some time in their lives most PMOers have suffered from the illusion that they enjoy the ride, the novelty, the rush and of course the orgasm, but I never had that illusion.</p> <p>I have most times detested the porn, even when I liked the orgasm. But at all times I thought a release from PMO helped me to relax. It gave me courage and confidence, and I was always miserable when I tried to stop, never being able to visualize an enjoyable life without PMO. And so my PMO habit which had started before my marriage stayed with me during and after my marriage was over. I had experienced PIED but I blocked it out and found excuses , “it happens to every man”. Well it does of course - but &lsquo;it&rsquo; happened to me again and again. My penis, I found it difficult to get hard - when I am with real woman. Could it be because I had habituated it to work in limp mode? Later I found that it was hard for me to get hard even with porn.</p> -<p>My girlfriend gave a book by Dr David Burns - which I liked very much. I also practised the exercises and got interested in it. Through the book I came to know of Dr. Abraham Low and his books on rational therapy - it is now known as Recovery International. At the same time - my soon to be ex-wife also sent me to a therapist. I completed therapy - and was getting out of my mental rut and started a new beginning in my life. I continued my reading and self education from the above two authors and started to read about REBT and Dr. Albert Ellis. I poured into all of his books and got myself well trained in REBT. I still practice it on a daily bases. I do ABC write ups (and DE and F as well)<sup id="fnref:1"><a href="#fn:1" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">1</a></sup> and actively journal my daily endorsements. I keep my DML (daily mood logs) and Endorse documents in an online spreadsheet.</p> +<p>My girlfriend gave a book by Dr David Burns - which I liked very much. I also practiced the exercises and got interested in it. Through the book I came to know of Dr. Abraham Low and his books on rational therapy - it is now known as Recovery International. At the same time - my soon to be ex-wife also sent me to a therapist. I completed therapy - and was getting out of my mental rut and started a new beginning in my life. I continued my reading and self education from the above two authors and started to read about REBT and Dr. Albert Ellis. I poured into all of his books and got myself well trained in REBT. I still practice it on a daily bases. I do ABC write ups (and DE and F as well)<sup id="fnref:1"><a href="#fn:1" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">1</a></sup> and actively journal my daily endorsements. I keep my DML (daily mood logs) and Endorse documents in an online spreadsheet.</p> <p>I was able to spot my rigid beliefs, exaggerations, self-rating and low frustration tolerance and immediately self-talk myself to have healthy negative emotions when needed. I was able to get my alcohol intake under control, cigarettes were on and off, and I rode through divorces. The point is that I was able to go through them all with the lowest disturbance in any random test set of divorced 40 yr old guys. However, I was still struggling with the occasional excesses that are inevitable with alcohol. I absolutely hated the cigarettes. I was aware of my (and the little monster&rsquo;s) efforts to dig a hole and hide my head in sand about my daily PMO affecting my sex life. I had two incidences of PIED, and found substitutes in getting a fleshlight to simulate a female vagina and also as a form of stamina training.</p> <p>I then somehow landed on the Amazon page of Allen Carr’s best seller book on how to stop smoking. I used it to quit my smoking by the time I completed the reading. I felt so light and happy about quitting, how can I not be, I don’t have the feelings of misery and self-sacrifice. I don’t even feel the ‘resistance to temptations’ that most feel which taxes their will power. I know I found something that will work for me. Now, cigarettes are not the society’s favourite anyway and it carried a social stigma so that would be easy, right? I then challenged myself to my next problem, alcohol - where my frequent excesses were starting to bother me. I realized that I am finding excuses and minimizing my nasty and shameful drunken behaviours many times. I can also see I am using it as a crutch and also as pleasure - but more of the former. I guess that it has to do my nature of being melancholic. And yes, I was able to kick that habit as well.</p> @@ -4518,7 +4518,7 @@ Do not take anything for granted. Question not only what I tell you but also you <p>Some PUA<sup id="fnref:2"><a href="#fn:2" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">2</a></sup> experts say something like: PMO only once in four days “ Every PMOer knows that it is the one day that most PMOers will do twice as many as they usually do and sometimes they ‘close the shop’ to run home knowing that it is their final day of ‘fasting’ and because no one like being told what to do, particularly by people who dismiss PMOers as mere idiots and don&rsquo;t understand their problem.</p> <p>Because they don&rsquo;t completely understand PMOers themselves or how to make it easy for them to quit, their attitude is &lsquo;Try this method. If it doesn&rsquo;t work try another: Can you imagine if there were ten different ways of treating appendicitis? Nine of them cured 10 per cent of the patients, which means they killed 90 per cent of them and the tenth way cured 95 per cent. Imagine that knowledge of the tenth method had been available for free, but the vast majority of the medical profession was still recommending the other nine.</p> <p>Someone pointed out that doctors might well find themselves liable to a legal action for malpractice, by not advising their patients of the best way to quit. Ironically he was a great advocate of substituting methods (soft porn, solo, nude only, porn-diet etc), I try hard not to be vindictive, but I hope he becomes the first victim of his suggestion.</p> -<p>There are many websites that talk about the harms of PMO. You can find content that explains scientifically the harms of high speed internet porn on the brain. There is much literature and studies of neuro chemicals and the neuroplasticity of the brain and how it is affected by PMO. I read many comments on forums and blogs of how some were able to overcome the addiction. They might just as well have wasted it on trying to persuade their readers that motorbikes can kill you. Do they not realize that youngsters know that one ‘look’ at a tube site won&rsquo;t kill them and that no youngster ever expects to get hooked? The link between porn and PIED porn induced ED, has been established for some time now. Yet more youngsters are becoming hooked nowadays than ever before.</p> +<p>There are many websites that talk about the harms of PMO. You can find content that explains scientifically the harms of high speed internet porn on the brain. There is much literature and studies of neurochemicals and the neuroplasticity of the brain and how it is affected by PMO. I read many comments on forums and blogs of how some were able to overcome the addiction. They might just as well have wasted it on trying to persuade their readers that motorbikes can kill you. Do they not realize that youngsters know that one ‘look’ at a tube site won&rsquo;t kill them and that no youngster ever expects to get hooked? The link between porn and PIED porn induced ED, has been established for some time now. Yet more youngsters are becoming hooked nowadays than ever before.</p> <p>Youngsters don&rsquo;t need to be preached on the harms of PIED, hypofrontality, dopamine surge and the resulting cutting down of the associated dopamine receptors. Young and old PMOers tend to avoid such materials anyway. Practically every subscriber and reader of sites such as YBOP knows the brain science and the self-sabotage nature of PMO. I myself has seen the damages in my personal life. On a more serious note, two men in my own family had MO addiction ( porn was not prevalent 20 yrs ago) and I can see how they were peevish and melancholic when they felt deprived or guilty related to their MO. But that didn&rsquo;t prevent me from falling into the trap.</p> <p>However, the snowball won&rsquo;t become an avalanche until the medical profession and the media stop recommending methods that make it harder to quit and accept that EASYPEASYWAY is not just another method: BUT THE ONLY SENSIBLE METHOD TO USE! I don&rsquo;t expect you to believe me at this stage, but by the time you have finished the book, you will understand.</p> <p>Even the comparatively few failures that we have say something like: &lsquo;I haven&rsquo;t succeeded yet, but your way is better than any I know.&rsquo; If when you finish the book, you feel that you owe me a debt of gratitude, you can more than repay that debt. Not just by recommending EASYPEASYWAY to your friends, but whenever you see or read an article advocating some other method, email to them asking why they aren&rsquo;t advocating EASYWAY.</p> @@ -4574,8 +4574,7 @@ easy to quit.</p> <li>It takes willpower to quit</li> <li>Once an addict always an addict</li> <li>Telling PMOers that it will turn them into robots will make them to quit</li> -<li>Substitutes, particularly soft porn, reality porn, solo naked only porn etc.. and training toys -such as fleshlight, helps PMOers to regain their full unfading erections.</li> +<li>Substitutes, particularly soft porn, reality porn, solo naked only porn etc.. and training toys such as fleshlight, helps PMOers to regain their full unfading erections.</li> <li>All porn is same in their rate of addictiveness</li> <li>In particular, when I had dispelled the illusion that it is difficult to quit and that you have to go through a transitional period of misery in order to do so, I naively thought that the rest of diff --git a/new-site/public/categories/index.xml b/new-site/public/categories/index.xml index 4ca146ed..fee66bc0 100644 --- a/new-site/public/categories/index.xml +++ b/new-site/public/categories/index.xml @@ -3524,7 +3524,7 @@ Get out of the habit of envying PMOers and start seeing them as the miserable, p </blockquote> <p>Teenagers are generally more difficult to cure, not because they find it difficult to stop but because either they do not believe they are hooked or they are at the primary stage of the trap and suffer from the delusion that they will automatically have stopped before the secondary stage.</p> <p>I would like particularly to warn parents of children who loathe internet porn not to have a false sense of security. All children loathe the dark sides of porn until they become hooked. You did too at one time. Also do not be fooled by scare campaigns. The trap is the same as it always was. Children know that internet porn is supranormal stimuli but they also know that one ‘visit’ or ‘peek’ will not do it. At some stage they may be influenced by a girlfriend or boyfriend, school friend or work colleague.</p> -<p>You may think that all they need is an education in brain plasticity and that PMO (including even masturbation) acts like a virus in their brain programme to convince them they could never become hooked. I find society&rsquo;s failure to prevent our children from becoming addicted to internet porn and other drugs to be the most disturbing of all the many disturbing facets of addiction. I beg you not to be complacent in this matter. It is necessary to protect youngsters as their brain is more plastic at that age. I strongly urge you to read the YBOP book and educate yourself of the brain science. Even if you suspect your teenager might lready be hooked, the book will provide excellent guidance to assist in gaining understanding for someone to escape.</p> +<p>You may think that all they need is an education in brain plasticity and that PMO (including even masturbation) acts like a virus in their brain programme to convince them they could never become hooked. I find society&rsquo;s failure to prevent our children from becoming addicted to internet porn and other drugs to be the most disturbing of all the many disturbing facets of addiction. I beg you not to be complacent in this matter. It is necessary to protect youngsters as their brain is more plastic at that age. I strongly urge you to read the YBOP book and educate yourself of the brain science. Even if you suspect your teenager might already be hooked, the book will provide excellent guidance to assist in gaining understanding for someone to escape.</p> <div class="footnotes" role="doc-endnotes"> <hr> <ol> @@ -3532,7 +3532,7 @@ Get out of the habit of envying PMOers and start seeing them as the miserable, p <p><strong>RC</strong> - reward circuits.&#160;<a href="#fnref:1" class="footnote-backref" role="doc-backlink">&#x21a9;&#xfe0e;</a></p> </li> <li id="fn:2"> -<p><strong>Regulation</strong> - Up and down regulation is a natural reactionary process of the brain to adjust receptors and or their neuro-transmitters based on the level that is present.&#160;<a href="#fnref:2" class="footnote-backref" role="doc-backlink">&#x21a9;&#xfe0e;</a></p> +<p><strong>Regulation</strong> - Up and down regulation is a natural reactionary process of the brain to adjust receptors and or their neurotransmitters based on the level that is present.&#160;<a href="#fnref:2" class="footnote-backref" role="doc-backlink">&#x21a9;&#xfe0e;</a></p> </li> </ol> </div> @@ -3757,7 +3757,7 @@ Get out of the habit of envying PMOers and start seeing them as the miserable, p <p>The fact that it took you twenty years to reach that state is irrelevant. So it is with PMOing. If I could immediately transfer you into your mind and body to give you a direct comparison on how you would feel having stopped internet porn for just three weeks, that is all I would need to do to persuade you to quit. You would think: “Will I really feel this good?” Or what it really amounts to: “Had I really sunk that low?” I emphasize that I don&rsquo;t just mean that you would feel healthier and have more energy but how you would also feel more confident and relaxed and better able to concentrate.</p> <p>As a teenager, I can remember rushing around just for the hell of it. I was interested in reading, I had set up a chemical lab, tried fixing (old CRT) TVs, dabbled with cooking etc. I was fascinated by scientists. Then I got attracted to makers and doers of the rag-to-riches lives of real people. I had the inner push and I knew I had it.</p> <p>I then was introduced to print porn, then came music TV channels, followed by static computer images. By this time I was permanently tired and lethargic. Then came internet porn of images and downloadable movies. I used to struggle to wake up at nine o&rsquo;clock in the morning. After my evening meal I would already be thinking about porn before going to bed, even when I had a girlfriend. Sex with her was a ‘chore’. But PMO with internet porn had all the novelty, shock, etc. No one can match that lure. And then the internet upped its game with tube sites, catalogued porn genres, ‘hearting’ favorites and all in lightning speed, high quality, no traces of downloads. Even the browsers went incognito, thoroughly helping me to cover my tracks. Reward with no pains.</p> -<p>By this time, the lack of energy, tiredness and everything related to it is nicely swept under the rug of ‘getting’ older. My friends and colleagues by this time are all living sedentary lifestyles. I hought this behaviour was normal. I believed that energy was the exclusive prerogative of children and teenagers, and that old age began in the early twenties. I did not notice that I was paying attention to my health in general by eating right - which they did not. But I did not notice that anomaly.</p> +<p>By this time, the lack of energy, tiredness and everything related to it is nicely swept under the rug of ‘getting’ older. My friends and colleagues by this time are all living sedentary lifestyles. I thought this behaviour was normal. I believed that energy was the exclusive prerogative of children and teenagers, and that old age began in the early twenties. I did not notice that I was paying attention to my health in general by eating right - which they did not. But I did not notice that anomaly.</p> <p>Shortly after I stopped PMO, I was relieved that this foggy and muggy feeling left me. For example, I can keep a steady gaze with my eyes on just about anything for a longer time. If I am looking into someone’s eyes it is even longer. However something truly marvellous and unexpected also happened. I started waking at seven o&rsquo;clock in the morning feeling completely rested and full of energy, actually wanting to exercise, jog and swim. I have read about a forty-eight year old who couldn&rsquo;t run a step or swim a stroke. The only sporting activities were confined to such dynamic pursuits as green bowling, affectionately referred to as “the old man&rsquo;s game,” and golf, for which he had to use a motorized cart. But after quitting PMO he started going to gym - not that it is necessary that everyone would - but still. Almost all us know that it&rsquo;s great to have energy and when you feel physically and mentally strong, it feels great to be alive.</p> <p>That is the point with PMOing - you are always debiting your energy. And in that process tampering with your brain codes of the reward circuit. Which again is going to make you miserable and vulnerable to stress and strain attacks. Unfortunately when you feel down with all of this you will seek a cigarette or alcohol or again porn. Unlike quitting smoking, where the return of your physical and mental health is only gradual, quitting PMO gives you excellent results from day one. Starting with energy. Then your mental programming to close the ‘water slides’ takes a bit of time. You need to kill the Little Monster - which will be explained in later chapters. Recovering your RC is nothing like as slow as the slide into the pit and if you are going through the trauma of the willpower method of quitting, any health or energy gains will be obliterated by the depression you will be going through. Unfortunately, I cannot immediately transfer you into your mind and body in three weeks&rsquo; time. But you can! You know instinctively that what I am telling you is correct. All you need to do is: USE YOUR IMAGINATION!</p> @@ -4027,7 +4027,7 @@ pleasure.”</em></p> <p>Every time I hear a porn addict trying to justify his addiction the message is, “Oh, it calms me. It helps me to relax.”</p> <p>On the Internet I read about a single dad whose 6 year old son would want to share his bed sometimes in the night after a scary movie yet the dad would refuse under some pretence so he can have his PMO session and edge for hours.</p> <p>Let me try a smoking analogy here&hellip; a couple of years ago, the adoption authorities threatened to prevent smokers from adopting children. A man rang up, irate. He said, “you are completely wrong. I can remember when I was a child, if I had a contentious matter to raise with my mother, I would wait until she lit a cigarette because she was more relaxed then.” Why couldn&rsquo;t he talk to his mother when she wasn&rsquo;t smoking a cigarette?</p> -<p>Why are PMOers so stressd when they are not getting their fix, even after a real sex with a real woman? I read about a guy who has 9&rsquo;s and 10&rsquo;s open for dating with him as he was in the advertising field. I am talking about dinner and stuff only - but he lost interest in those dinners as his Internet porn is far more ‘easy’ for him - no restaurant spending and no hearing a ‘no’ from his date at the end of an evening. Why would he bother when his little monster tells him about the low-risk high-reward scheme called PMO that is at his fingertips when he reaches home? Those real girls sure have competition.</p> +<p>Why are PMOers so stressed when they are not getting their fix, even after a real sex with a real woman? I read about a guy who has 9&rsquo;s and 10&rsquo;s open for dating with him as he was in the advertising field. I am talking about dinner and stuff only - but he lost interest in those dinners as his Internet porn is far more ‘easy’ for him - no restaurant spending and no hearing a ‘no’ from his date at the end of an evening. Why would he bother when his little monster tells him about the low-risk high-reward scheme called PMO that is at his fingertips when he reaches home? Those real girls sure have competition.</p> <p>Why are non-PMOers completely relaxed then? Why are PMOers not able to relax without a fix for a day or two? If you read about the experience of a PMOer taking the abstinence oath and quitting and you notice his struggle with the temptations. You can clearly see that they are not relaxed at all when they are not allowed to have the ‘only pleasure’ they are “entitled to enjoy.” They&rsquo;ve forgotten what it feels like to be completely relaxed. That&rsquo;s one of the many joys you have to come. The whole business of PMOing can be likened to a fly being caught in a pitcher plant. To begin with, the fly is eating the nectar. At some imperceptible stage the plant begins to eat the fly.</p> <p>Isn&rsquo;t it time you climbed out of that plant?</p> @@ -4250,9 +4250,9 @@ became addicted. However, the satisfaction is only temporary because in order to <p>We talk about internet porn being relaxing or giving satisfaction. But how can you be satisfied unless you were dissatisfied in the first place? Why don&rsquo;t non-PMOer suffer from this dissatisfied state and why, after a no-sex date, when the non-PMOers are completely relaxed, are PMOers completely unrelaxed until they have satisfied their &rsquo;little monster&rsquo;?</p> <h2 id="a-pleasure-or-crutch">A Pleasure or Crutch? <a class="anchor" href="#a-pleasure-or-crutch"> <span class="spanForHeader">¶</span> -</a></h2><p>Forgive me if I dwell on this subject for a moment. The main reason that PMOers find it difficult to quit is that they believe that they are giving up a genuine pleasure or crutch. It is absolutely essential to understand that you are giving up nothing whatsoever. The best way to understand the subtleties of the PMO trap is to compare it with eating. If we are in the habit of eating regular meals, we are not aware of being hungry between meals. Only if the meal is delayed are we aware of being hungry, and even then, there is no physical pain, just an empty, insecure feeling which we know as: &lsquo;I need to eat.&rsquo; And the process of satisfying our hunger is a very pleasantpastime.</p> +</a></h2><p>Forgive me if I dwell on this subject for a moment. The main reason that PMOers find it difficult to quit is that they believe that they are giving up a genuine pleasure or crutch. It is absolutely essential to understand that you are giving up nothing whatsoever. The best way to understand the subtleties of the PMO trap is to compare it with eating. If we are in the habit of eating regular meals, we are not aware of being hungry between meals. Only if the meal is delayed are we aware of being hungry, and even then, there is no physical pain, just an empty, insecure feeling which we know as: &lsquo;I need to eat.&rsquo; And the process of satisfying our hunger is a very pleasant pastime.</p> <p>PMOing appears to be almost identical. The empty, insecure feeling which we know as: &lsquo;wanting or needing an PMO orgasm’ is identical to a hunger for food, although one will not satisfy the other. Like hunger, there is no physical pain and the feeling is so imperceptible that we are not even aware of it between PMO sessions. It&rsquo;s only if we want to masturbate and aren&rsquo;t able to reach internet for porn that we become aware of any discomfort. But when we do PMO we feel satisfied.</p> -<p>It is this similarity to eating which helps to fool PMOers into believing that they receive some genuine pleasure. Some PMOers find it very difficult to grasp that there is no pleasure or crutch, whatsoever to PMO. Some argue: “How can you say there is no crutch? When I orgasm up then I&rsquo;llfeel less nervous than before.”</p> +<p>It is this similarity to eating which helps to fool PMOers into believing that they receive some genuine pleasure. Some PMOers find it very difficult to grasp that there is no pleasure or crutch, whatsoever to PMO. Some argue: “How can you say there is no crutch? When I orgasm up then I&rsquo;ll feel less nervous than before.”</p> <p>Although eating and PMOing appear to be very similar. In fact they are exact opposites:</p> <ol> <li>You eat to survive and to energize your life, whereas PMOing dims your mojo and cuts down your energy.</li> @@ -4378,7 +4378,7 @@ became addicted. However, the satisfaction is only temporary because in order to <p>All PMOers feel that something evil has got possession of them. In the early days it is a question of, “I am going to stop, not today but tomorrow.” Eventually we get to the stage where we think either that we haven&rsquo;t got the willpower or that there is something inherent in the whole PMO that we must have in order to enjoy life.</p> <p>As I said previously, the problem is not explaining why it is easy to stop; it is explaining why it is difficult. In fact, the real problem is explaining scientifically why anybody does it even after getting the insights on the neurological damages of addictions not limited to porn.</p> <p>The whole business of porn is an extraordinary enigma. One of the reasons we get on to it is because of the thousands of people are already into it, about 35% of the population approximately. Yet every one of them wishes he or she had not started in the first place, telling us that life is like driving in second gear. We cannot quite believe they are not enjoying it. We associate it with freedom or being “sex-educated” and work hard to become hooked ourselves. We then spend the rest of our lives telling others not to do it and trying to kick the habit ourselves.</p> -<p>We also spend the rest of our lives feeling hopeless and miserable. Time spent on porn can accumulate to a large percentage of our life in this planet! What do we do with that amount of time spent? We ‘educate’ ourselves with supranormal<sup id="fnref:1"><a href="#fn:1" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">1</a></sup> ‘material’ that makes us stupidly prefer and childishly long for these cold images - even when warm real ones are available. By the constant surge and drop of dopamine induced by PMO, we sentence ourselves to a lifetime of irritability, anger, frustration, stress, fatigue<sup id="fnref:2"><a href="#fn:2" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">2</a></sup>, PIED, hypofrontality etc. In short, it is a lifetime of slavery. It is logically and intuitively clear that amative sex (physical touch, feel, voice etc.) is the best part of sex and is even better (if Karezza<sup id="fnref:3"><a href="#fn:3" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">3</a></sup> is practised, although not necessary for the current purposes) than the propagative (orgasm) part, except when children are desired. So, when we use porn in the absence of the best part of sex we feel miserable and guilty.</p> +<p>We also spend the rest of our lives feeling hopeless and miserable. Time spent on porn can accumulate to a large percentage of our life in this planet! What do we do with that amount of time spent? We ‘educate’ ourselves with supranormal<sup id="fnref:1"><a href="#fn:1" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">1</a></sup> ‘material’ that makes us stupidly prefer and childishly long for these cold images - even when warm real ones are available. By the constant surge and drop of dopamine induced by PMO, we sentence ourselves to a lifetime of irritability, anger, frustration, stress, fatigue<sup id="fnref:2"><a href="#fn:2" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">2</a></sup>, PIED, hypofrontality etc. In short, it is a lifetime of slavery. It is logically and intuitively clear that amative sex (physical touch, feel, voice etc.) is the best part of sex and is even better (if Karezza<sup id="fnref:3"><a href="#fn:3" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">3</a></sup> is practiced, although not necessary for the current purposes) than the propagative (orgasm) part, except when children are desired. So, when we use porn in the absence of the best part of sex we feel miserable and guilty.</p> <p>In fact, all the reading about internet pornography&rsquo;s addictive capabilities and it’s destructive effects here and in other online sites makes us even more nervous and hopeless. When we are trying to cut down or stop, we end up feeling deprived. We wish we didn&rsquo;t have to. What sort of hobby is it that when you are doing it you wish you weren&rsquo;t, and when you are not doing it you crave for it? A lifetime of an otherwise intelligent, rational human being going through life in contempt.</p> <p>The PMOer despises himself, every time he has an unreliable erection, a fading penetration, reading about PIED and other stuff on the YBOP forum, every time he could not pull himself up to exercise after a daytime PMO, every PMO behind his or her trustfully asleep partner’s back, every time he sees his tired face and lifeless eyes in the restroom mirror.</p> <p>Having to go through life with these awful black shadows at the back of his mind, what does he get out of it? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! Pleasure? Enjoyment? Relaxation? A prop? A boost? All illusions, unless you consider the wearing of tight shoes to enjoy the removal of them as some sort of pleasure!</p> @@ -4467,9 +4467,9 @@ man and woman from performance based anxieties.&#160;<a href="#fnref: <span class="spanForHeader">¶</span> </a></h2><p>Perhaps I should begin by describing my competence for writing this book. No, I am not a doctor or a psychiatrist; my qualifications are far more appropriate. I spent thirty years of my life as a confirmed fapper. In the later years I used porn on a daily bases to get orgasm(s).During my life I had made a great number of attempts to stop. I never got past a full week of abstinence, and I was still climbing up the wall, with an “annoying alarm clock beeping” in my head called craving. With most PMOers, on the health side, it&rsquo;s a question of “ I&rsquo;ll stop before it happens to me.” I had reached the stage where I knew it has caused PIED, hypofrontality (inability to control and execute action towards a goal), irritability, lack of energy, soulless eyes, mental dryness, stress and pain in the lower back, genital irritations. It bothered me, but it still didn&rsquo;t stop me.</p> <p>I felt lack of enthusiasm to go to gym or just a walk even if it’s sunny outside or simple weight lifting at home either. I had reached the stage where I gave up even trying to stop. I found excuses in substitute methods (controlled use, safe porn, porn-diet and etc. discussed later) as advocated by sexologists, forum users and medical pros - who have no idea of its effect on brain chemistry and who are themselves fooled by their &rsquo;little monster&rsquo; (not devil or satan - we will talk about monsters later) . The novelty trap and shock value provided by internet porn delivered at home with a low risk high reward deal is something that they can’t even think of. They are still in the static playboy era. And the younger ones have buried their heads under the sand so they can still continue to PMO.</p> -<p>The worst part is it was not so much that I enjoyed the PMO. It was just doing it routinely, a chore - like slipping down the water slides, in fact there are brain water slides greased well by the neuro chemicals (DeltaFosB proteins made by dopamine which store emotion scripts for easy recall, will be discussing later). A simple cue such as a commercial, or a day to day stress that got ‘relieved’ temporarily by PMO is all it takes to complete the ride down the ‘waterslide’. Some time in their lives most PMOers have suffered from the illusion that they enjoy the ride, the novelty, the rush and of course the orgasm, but I never had that illusion.</p> +<p>The worst part is it was not so much that I enjoyed the PMO. It was just doing it routinely, a chore - like slipping down the water slides, in fact there are brain water slides greased well by the neurochemicals (DeltaFosB proteins made by dopamine which store emotion scripts for easy recall, will be discussing later). A simple cue such as a commercial, or a day to day stress that got ‘relieved’ temporarily by PMO is all it takes to complete the ride down the ‘waterslide’. Some time in their lives most PMOers have suffered from the illusion that they enjoy the ride, the novelty, the rush and of course the orgasm, but I never had that illusion.</p> <p>I have most times detested the porn, even when I liked the orgasm. But at all times I thought a release from PMO helped me to relax. It gave me courage and confidence, and I was always miserable when I tried to stop, never being able to visualize an enjoyable life without PMO. And so my PMO habit which had started before my marriage stayed with me during and after my marriage was over. I had experienced PIED but I blocked it out and found excuses , “it happens to every man”. Well it does of course - but &lsquo;it&rsquo; happened to me again and again. My penis, I found it difficult to get hard - when I am with real woman. Could it be because I had habituated it to work in limp mode? Later I found that it was hard for me to get hard even with porn.</p> -<p>My girlfriend gave a book by Dr David Burns - which I liked very much. I also practised the exercises and got interested in it. Through the book I came to know of Dr. Abraham Low and his books on rational therapy - it is now known as Recovery International. At the same time - my soon to be ex-wife also sent me to a therapist. I completed therapy - and was getting out of my mental rut and started a new beginning in my life. I continued my reading and self education from the above two authors and started to read about REBT and Dr. Albert Ellis. I poured into all of his books and got myself well trained in REBT. I still practice it on a daily bases. I do ABC write ups (and DE and F as well)<sup id="fnref:1"><a href="#fn:1" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">1</a></sup> and actively journal my daily endorsements. I keep my DML (daily mood logs) and Endorse documents in an online spreadsheet.</p> +<p>My girlfriend gave a book by Dr David Burns - which I liked very much. I also practiced the exercises and got interested in it. Through the book I came to know of Dr. Abraham Low and his books on rational therapy - it is now known as Recovery International. At the same time - my soon to be ex-wife also sent me to a therapist. I completed therapy - and was getting out of my mental rut and started a new beginning in my life. I continued my reading and self education from the above two authors and started to read about REBT and Dr. Albert Ellis. I poured into all of his books and got myself well trained in REBT. I still practice it on a daily bases. I do ABC write ups (and DE and F as well)<sup id="fnref:1"><a href="#fn:1" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">1</a></sup> and actively journal my daily endorsements. I keep my DML (daily mood logs) and Endorse documents in an online spreadsheet.</p> <p>I was able to spot my rigid beliefs, exaggerations, self-rating and low frustration tolerance and immediately self-talk myself to have healthy negative emotions when needed. I was able to get my alcohol intake under control, cigarettes were on and off, and I rode through divorces. The point is that I was able to go through them all with the lowest disturbance in any random test set of divorced 40 yr old guys. However, I was still struggling with the occasional excesses that are inevitable with alcohol. I absolutely hated the cigarettes. I was aware of my (and the little monster&rsquo;s) efforts to dig a hole and hide my head in sand about my daily PMO affecting my sex life. I had two incidences of PIED, and found substitutes in getting a fleshlight to simulate a female vagina and also as a form of stamina training.</p> <p>I then somehow landed on the Amazon page of Allen Carr’s best seller book on how to stop smoking. I used it to quit my smoking by the time I completed the reading. I felt so light and happy about quitting, how can I not be, I don’t have the feelings of misery and self-sacrifice. I don’t even feel the ‘resistance to temptations’ that most feel which taxes their will power. I know I found something that will work for me. Now, cigarettes are not the society’s favourite anyway and it carried a social stigma so that would be easy, right? I then challenged myself to my next problem, alcohol - where my frequent excesses were starting to bother me. I realized that I am finding excuses and minimizing my nasty and shameful drunken behaviours many times. I can also see I am using it as a crutch and also as pleasure - but more of the former. I guess that it has to do my nature of being melancholic. And yes, I was able to kick that habit as well.</p> @@ -4517,7 +4517,7 @@ Do not take anything for granted. Question not only what I tell you but also you <p>Some PUA<sup id="fnref:2"><a href="#fn:2" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">2</a></sup> experts say something like: PMO only once in four days “ Every PMOer knows that it is the one day that most PMOers will do twice as many as they usually do and sometimes they ‘close the shop’ to run home knowing that it is their final day of ‘fasting’ and because no one like being told what to do, particularly by people who dismiss PMOers as mere idiots and don&rsquo;t understand their problem.</p> <p>Because they don&rsquo;t completely understand PMOers themselves or how to make it easy for them to quit, their attitude is &lsquo;Try this method. If it doesn&rsquo;t work try another: Can you imagine if there were ten different ways of treating appendicitis? Nine of them cured 10 per cent of the patients, which means they killed 90 per cent of them and the tenth way cured 95 per cent. Imagine that knowledge of the tenth method had been available for free, but the vast majority of the medical profession was still recommending the other nine.</p> <p>Someone pointed out that doctors might well find themselves liable to a legal action for malpractice, by not advising their patients of the best way to quit. Ironically he was a great advocate of substituting methods (soft porn, solo, nude only, porn-diet etc), I try hard not to be vindictive, but I hope he becomes the first victim of his suggestion.</p> -<p>There are many websites that talk about the harms of PMO. You can find content that explains scientifically the harms of high speed internet porn on the brain. There is much literature and studies of neuro chemicals and the neuroplasticity of the brain and how it is affected by PMO. I read many comments on forums and blogs of how some were able to overcome the addiction. They might just as well have wasted it on trying to persuade their readers that motorbikes can kill you. Do they not realize that youngsters know that one ‘look’ at a tube site won&rsquo;t kill them and that no youngster ever expects to get hooked? The link between porn and PIED porn induced ED, has been established for some time now. Yet more youngsters are becoming hooked nowadays than ever before.</p> +<p>There are many websites that talk about the harms of PMO. You can find content that explains scientifically the harms of high speed internet porn on the brain. There is much literature and studies of neurochemicals and the neuroplasticity of the brain and how it is affected by PMO. I read many comments on forums and blogs of how some were able to overcome the addiction. They might just as well have wasted it on trying to persuade their readers that motorbikes can kill you. Do they not realize that youngsters know that one ‘look’ at a tube site won&rsquo;t kill them and that no youngster ever expects to get hooked? The link between porn and PIED porn induced ED, has been established for some time now. Yet more youngsters are becoming hooked nowadays than ever before.</p> <p>Youngsters don&rsquo;t need to be preached on the harms of PIED, hypofrontality, dopamine surge and the resulting cutting down of the associated dopamine receptors. Young and old PMOers tend to avoid such materials anyway. Practically every subscriber and reader of sites such as YBOP knows the brain science and the self-sabotage nature of PMO. I myself has seen the damages in my personal life. On a more serious note, two men in my own family had MO addiction ( porn was not prevalent 20 yrs ago) and I can see how they were peevish and melancholic when they felt deprived or guilty related to their MO. But that didn&rsquo;t prevent me from falling into the trap.</p> <p>However, the snowball won&rsquo;t become an avalanche until the medical profession and the media stop recommending methods that make it harder to quit and accept that EASYPEASYWAY is not just another method: BUT THE ONLY SENSIBLE METHOD TO USE! I don&rsquo;t expect you to believe me at this stage, but by the time you have finished the book, you will understand.</p> <p>Even the comparatively few failures that we have say something like: &lsquo;I haven&rsquo;t succeeded yet, but your way is better than any I know.&rsquo; If when you finish the book, you feel that you owe me a debt of gratitude, you can more than repay that debt. Not just by recommending EASYPEASYWAY to your friends, but whenever you see or read an article advocating some other method, email to them asking why they aren&rsquo;t advocating EASYWAY.</p> @@ -4573,8 +4573,7 @@ easy to quit.</p> <li>It takes willpower to quit</li> <li>Once an addict always an addict</li> <li>Telling PMOers that it will turn them into robots will make them to quit</li> -<li>Substitutes, particularly soft porn, reality porn, solo naked only porn etc.. and training toys -such as fleshlight, helps PMOers to regain their full unfading erections.</li> +<li>Substitutes, particularly soft porn, reality porn, solo naked only porn etc.. and training toys such as fleshlight, helps PMOers to regain their full unfading erections.</li> <li>All porn is same in their rate of addictiveness</li> <li>In particular, when I had dispelled the illusion that it is difficult to quit and that you have to go through a transitional period of misery in order to do so, I naively thought that the rest of diff --git a/new-site/public/index.xml b/new-site/public/index.xml index 61336061..50e79e4f 100644 --- a/new-site/public/index.xml +++ b/new-site/public/index.xml @@ -3525,7 +3525,7 @@ Get out of the habit of envying PMOers and start seeing them as the miserable, p </blockquote> <p>Teenagers are generally more difficult to cure, not because they find it difficult to stop but because either they do not believe they are hooked or they are at the primary stage of the trap and suffer from the delusion that they will automatically have stopped before the secondary stage.</p> <p>I would like particularly to warn parents of children who loathe internet porn not to have a false sense of security. All children loathe the dark sides of porn until they become hooked. You did too at one time. Also do not be fooled by scare campaigns. The trap is the same as it always was. Children know that internet porn is supranormal stimuli but they also know that one ‘visit’ or ‘peek’ will not do it. At some stage they may be influenced by a girlfriend or boyfriend, school friend or work colleague.</p> -<p>You may think that all they need is an education in brain plasticity and that PMO (including even masturbation) acts like a virus in their brain programme to convince them they could never become hooked. I find society&rsquo;s failure to prevent our children from becoming addicted to internet porn and other drugs to be the most disturbing of all the many disturbing facets of addiction. I beg you not to be complacent in this matter. It is necessary to protect youngsters as their brain is more plastic at that age. I strongly urge you to read the YBOP book and educate yourself of the brain science. Even if you suspect your teenager might lready be hooked, the book will provide excellent guidance to assist in gaining understanding for someone to escape.</p> +<p>You may think that all they need is an education in brain plasticity and that PMO (including even masturbation) acts like a virus in their brain programme to convince them they could never become hooked. I find society&rsquo;s failure to prevent our children from becoming addicted to internet porn and other drugs to be the most disturbing of all the many disturbing facets of addiction. I beg you not to be complacent in this matter. It is necessary to protect youngsters as their brain is more plastic at that age. I strongly urge you to read the YBOP book and educate yourself of the brain science. Even if you suspect your teenager might already be hooked, the book will provide excellent guidance to assist in gaining understanding for someone to escape.</p> <div class="footnotes" role="doc-endnotes"> <hr> <ol> @@ -3533,7 +3533,7 @@ Get out of the habit of envying PMOers and start seeing them as the miserable, p <p><strong>RC</strong> - reward circuits.&#160;<a href="#fnref:1" class="footnote-backref" role="doc-backlink">&#x21a9;&#xfe0e;</a></p> </li> <li id="fn:2"> -<p><strong>Regulation</strong> - Up and down regulation is a natural reactionary process of the brain to adjust receptors and or their neuro-transmitters based on the level that is present.&#160;<a href="#fnref:2" class="footnote-backref" role="doc-backlink">&#x21a9;&#xfe0e;</a></p> +<p><strong>Regulation</strong> - Up and down regulation is a natural reactionary process of the brain to adjust receptors and or their neurotransmitters based on the level that is present.&#160;<a href="#fnref:2" class="footnote-backref" role="doc-backlink">&#x21a9;&#xfe0e;</a></p> </li> </ol> </div> @@ -3758,7 +3758,7 @@ Get out of the habit of envying PMOers and start seeing them as the miserable, p <p>The fact that it took you twenty years to reach that state is irrelevant. So it is with PMOing. If I could immediately transfer you into your mind and body to give you a direct comparison on how you would feel having stopped internet porn for just three weeks, that is all I would need to do to persuade you to quit. You would think: “Will I really feel this good?” Or what it really amounts to: “Had I really sunk that low?” I emphasize that I don&rsquo;t just mean that you would feel healthier and have more energy but how you would also feel more confident and relaxed and better able to concentrate.</p> <p>As a teenager, I can remember rushing around just for the hell of it. I was interested in reading, I had set up a chemical lab, tried fixing (old CRT) TVs, dabbled with cooking etc. I was fascinated by scientists. Then I got attracted to makers and doers of the rag-to-riches lives of real people. I had the inner push and I knew I had it.</p> <p>I then was introduced to print porn, then came music TV channels, followed by static computer images. By this time I was permanently tired and lethargic. Then came internet porn of images and downloadable movies. I used to struggle to wake up at nine o&rsquo;clock in the morning. After my evening meal I would already be thinking about porn before going to bed, even when I had a girlfriend. Sex with her was a ‘chore’. But PMO with internet porn had all the novelty, shock, etc. No one can match that lure. And then the internet upped its game with tube sites, catalogued porn genres, ‘hearting’ favorites and all in lightning speed, high quality, no traces of downloads. Even the browsers went incognito, thoroughly helping me to cover my tracks. Reward with no pains.</p> -<p>By this time, the lack of energy, tiredness and everything related to it is nicely swept under the rug of ‘getting’ older. My friends and colleagues by this time are all living sedentary lifestyles. I hought this behaviour was normal. I believed that energy was the exclusive prerogative of children and teenagers, and that old age began in the early twenties. I did not notice that I was paying attention to my health in general by eating right - which they did not. But I did not notice that anomaly.</p> +<p>By this time, the lack of energy, tiredness and everything related to it is nicely swept under the rug of ‘getting’ older. My friends and colleagues by this time are all living sedentary lifestyles. I thought this behaviour was normal. I believed that energy was the exclusive prerogative of children and teenagers, and that old age began in the early twenties. I did not notice that I was paying attention to my health in general by eating right - which they did not. But I did not notice that anomaly.</p> <p>Shortly after I stopped PMO, I was relieved that this foggy and muggy feeling left me. For example, I can keep a steady gaze with my eyes on just about anything for a longer time. If I am looking into someone’s eyes it is even longer. However something truly marvellous and unexpected also happened. I started waking at seven o&rsquo;clock in the morning feeling completely rested and full of energy, actually wanting to exercise, jog and swim. I have read about a forty-eight year old who couldn&rsquo;t run a step or swim a stroke. The only sporting activities were confined to such dynamic pursuits as green bowling, affectionately referred to as “the old man&rsquo;s game,” and golf, for which he had to use a motorized cart. But after quitting PMO he started going to gym - not that it is necessary that everyone would - but still. Almost all us know that it&rsquo;s great to have energy and when you feel physically and mentally strong, it feels great to be alive.</p> <p>That is the point with PMOing - you are always debiting your energy. And in that process tampering with your brain codes of the reward circuit. Which again is going to make you miserable and vulnerable to stress and strain attacks. Unfortunately when you feel down with all of this you will seek a cigarette or alcohol or again porn. Unlike quitting smoking, where the return of your physical and mental health is only gradual, quitting PMO gives you excellent results from day one. Starting with energy. Then your mental programming to close the ‘water slides’ takes a bit of time. You need to kill the Little Monster - which will be explained in later chapters. Recovering your RC is nothing like as slow as the slide into the pit and if you are going through the trauma of the willpower method of quitting, any health or energy gains will be obliterated by the depression you will be going through. Unfortunately, I cannot immediately transfer you into your mind and body in three weeks&rsquo; time. But you can! You know instinctively that what I am telling you is correct. All you need to do is: USE YOUR IMAGINATION!</p> @@ -4028,7 +4028,7 @@ pleasure.”</em></p> <p>Every time I hear a porn addict trying to justify his addiction the message is, “Oh, it calms me. It helps me to relax.”</p> <p>On the Internet I read about a single dad whose 6 year old son would want to share his bed sometimes in the night after a scary movie yet the dad would refuse under some pretence so he can have his PMO session and edge for hours.</p> <p>Let me try a smoking analogy here&hellip; a couple of years ago, the adoption authorities threatened to prevent smokers from adopting children. A man rang up, irate. He said, “you are completely wrong. I can remember when I was a child, if I had a contentious matter to raise with my mother, I would wait until she lit a cigarette because she was more relaxed then.” Why couldn&rsquo;t he talk to his mother when she wasn&rsquo;t smoking a cigarette?</p> -<p>Why are PMOers so stressd when they are not getting their fix, even after a real sex with a real woman? I read about a guy who has 9&rsquo;s and 10&rsquo;s open for dating with him as he was in the advertising field. I am talking about dinner and stuff only - but he lost interest in those dinners as his Internet porn is far more ‘easy’ for him - no restaurant spending and no hearing a ‘no’ from his date at the end of an evening. Why would he bother when his little monster tells him about the low-risk high-reward scheme called PMO that is at his fingertips when he reaches home? Those real girls sure have competition.</p> +<p>Why are PMOers so stressed when they are not getting their fix, even after a real sex with a real woman? I read about a guy who has 9&rsquo;s and 10&rsquo;s open for dating with him as he was in the advertising field. I am talking about dinner and stuff only - but he lost interest in those dinners as his Internet porn is far more ‘easy’ for him - no restaurant spending and no hearing a ‘no’ from his date at the end of an evening. Why would he bother when his little monster tells him about the low-risk high-reward scheme called PMO that is at his fingertips when he reaches home? Those real girls sure have competition.</p> <p>Why are non-PMOers completely relaxed then? Why are PMOers not able to relax without a fix for a day or two? If you read about the experience of a PMOer taking the abstinence oath and quitting and you notice his struggle with the temptations. You can clearly see that they are not relaxed at all when they are not allowed to have the ‘only pleasure’ they are “entitled to enjoy.” They&rsquo;ve forgotten what it feels like to be completely relaxed. That&rsquo;s one of the many joys you have to come. The whole business of PMOing can be likened to a fly being caught in a pitcher plant. To begin with, the fly is eating the nectar. At some imperceptible stage the plant begins to eat the fly.</p> <p>Isn&rsquo;t it time you climbed out of that plant?</p> @@ -4251,9 +4251,9 @@ became addicted. However, the satisfaction is only temporary because in order to <p>We talk about internet porn being relaxing or giving satisfaction. But how can you be satisfied unless you were dissatisfied in the first place? Why don&rsquo;t non-PMOer suffer from this dissatisfied state and why, after a no-sex date, when the non-PMOers are completely relaxed, are PMOers completely unrelaxed until they have satisfied their &rsquo;little monster&rsquo;?</p> <h2 id="a-pleasure-or-crutch">A Pleasure or Crutch? <a class="anchor" href="#a-pleasure-or-crutch"> <span class="spanForHeader">¶</span> -</a></h2><p>Forgive me if I dwell on this subject for a moment. The main reason that PMOers find it difficult to quit is that they believe that they are giving up a genuine pleasure or crutch. It is absolutely essential to understand that you are giving up nothing whatsoever. The best way to understand the subtleties of the PMO trap is to compare it with eating. If we are in the habit of eating regular meals, we are not aware of being hungry between meals. Only if the meal is delayed are we aware of being hungry, and even then, there is no physical pain, just an empty, insecure feeling which we know as: &lsquo;I need to eat.&rsquo; And the process of satisfying our hunger is a very pleasantpastime.</p> +</a></h2><p>Forgive me if I dwell on this subject for a moment. The main reason that PMOers find it difficult to quit is that they believe that they are giving up a genuine pleasure or crutch. It is absolutely essential to understand that you are giving up nothing whatsoever. The best way to understand the subtleties of the PMO trap is to compare it with eating. If we are in the habit of eating regular meals, we are not aware of being hungry between meals. Only if the meal is delayed are we aware of being hungry, and even then, there is no physical pain, just an empty, insecure feeling which we know as: &lsquo;I need to eat.&rsquo; And the process of satisfying our hunger is a very pleasant pastime.</p> <p>PMOing appears to be almost identical. The empty, insecure feeling which we know as: &lsquo;wanting or needing an PMO orgasm’ is identical to a hunger for food, although one will not satisfy the other. Like hunger, there is no physical pain and the feeling is so imperceptible that we are not even aware of it between PMO sessions. It&rsquo;s only if we want to masturbate and aren&rsquo;t able to reach internet for porn that we become aware of any discomfort. But when we do PMO we feel satisfied.</p> -<p>It is this similarity to eating which helps to fool PMOers into believing that they receive some genuine pleasure. Some PMOers find it very difficult to grasp that there is no pleasure or crutch, whatsoever to PMO. Some argue: “How can you say there is no crutch? When I orgasm up then I&rsquo;llfeel less nervous than before.”</p> +<p>It is this similarity to eating which helps to fool PMOers into believing that they receive some genuine pleasure. Some PMOers find it very difficult to grasp that there is no pleasure or crutch, whatsoever to PMO. Some argue: “How can you say there is no crutch? When I orgasm up then I&rsquo;ll feel less nervous than before.”</p> <p>Although eating and PMOing appear to be very similar. In fact they are exact opposites:</p> <ol> <li>You eat to survive and to energize your life, whereas PMOing dims your mojo and cuts down your energy.</li> @@ -4379,7 +4379,7 @@ became addicted. However, the satisfaction is only temporary because in order to <p>All PMOers feel that something evil has got possession of them. In the early days it is a question of, “I am going to stop, not today but tomorrow.” Eventually we get to the stage where we think either that we haven&rsquo;t got the willpower or that there is something inherent in the whole PMO that we must have in order to enjoy life.</p> <p>As I said previously, the problem is not explaining why it is easy to stop; it is explaining why it is difficult. In fact, the real problem is explaining scientifically why anybody does it even after getting the insights on the neurological damages of addictions not limited to porn.</p> <p>The whole business of porn is an extraordinary enigma. One of the reasons we get on to it is because of the thousands of people are already into it, about 35% of the population approximately. Yet every one of them wishes he or she had not started in the first place, telling us that life is like driving in second gear. We cannot quite believe they are not enjoying it. We associate it with freedom or being “sex-educated” and work hard to become hooked ourselves. We then spend the rest of our lives telling others not to do it and trying to kick the habit ourselves.</p> -<p>We also spend the rest of our lives feeling hopeless and miserable. Time spent on porn can accumulate to a large percentage of our life in this planet! What do we do with that amount of time spent? We ‘educate’ ourselves with supranormal<sup id="fnref:1"><a href="#fn:1" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">1</a></sup> ‘material’ that makes us stupidly prefer and childishly long for these cold images - even when warm real ones are available. By the constant surge and drop of dopamine induced by PMO, we sentence ourselves to a lifetime of irritability, anger, frustration, stress, fatigue<sup id="fnref:2"><a href="#fn:2" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">2</a></sup>, PIED, hypofrontality etc. In short, it is a lifetime of slavery. It is logically and intuitively clear that amative sex (physical touch, feel, voice etc.) is the best part of sex and is even better (if Karezza<sup id="fnref:3"><a href="#fn:3" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">3</a></sup> is practised, although not necessary for the current purposes) than the propagative (orgasm) part, except when children are desired. So, when we use porn in the absence of the best part of sex we feel miserable and guilty.</p> +<p>We also spend the rest of our lives feeling hopeless and miserable. Time spent on porn can accumulate to a large percentage of our life in this planet! What do we do with that amount of time spent? We ‘educate’ ourselves with supranormal<sup id="fnref:1"><a href="#fn:1" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">1</a></sup> ‘material’ that makes us stupidly prefer and childishly long for these cold images - even when warm real ones are available. By the constant surge and drop of dopamine induced by PMO, we sentence ourselves to a lifetime of irritability, anger, frustration, stress, fatigue<sup id="fnref:2"><a href="#fn:2" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">2</a></sup>, PIED, hypofrontality etc. In short, it is a lifetime of slavery. It is logically and intuitively clear that amative sex (physical touch, feel, voice etc.) is the best part of sex and is even better (if Karezza<sup id="fnref:3"><a href="#fn:3" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">3</a></sup> is practiced, although not necessary for the current purposes) than the propagative (orgasm) part, except when children are desired. So, when we use porn in the absence of the best part of sex we feel miserable and guilty.</p> <p>In fact, all the reading about internet pornography&rsquo;s addictive capabilities and it’s destructive effects here and in other online sites makes us even more nervous and hopeless. When we are trying to cut down or stop, we end up feeling deprived. We wish we didn&rsquo;t have to. What sort of hobby is it that when you are doing it you wish you weren&rsquo;t, and when you are not doing it you crave for it? A lifetime of an otherwise intelligent, rational human being going through life in contempt.</p> <p>The PMOer despises himself, every time he has an unreliable erection, a fading penetration, reading about PIED and other stuff on the YBOP forum, every time he could not pull himself up to exercise after a daytime PMO, every PMO behind his or her trustfully asleep partner’s back, every time he sees his tired face and lifeless eyes in the restroom mirror.</p> <p>Having to go through life with these awful black shadows at the back of his mind, what does he get out of it? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! Pleasure? Enjoyment? Relaxation? A prop? A boost? All illusions, unless you consider the wearing of tight shoes to enjoy the removal of them as some sort of pleasure!</p> @@ -4468,9 +4468,9 @@ man and woman from performance based anxieties.&#160;<a href="#fnref: <span class="spanForHeader">¶</span> </a></h2><p>Perhaps I should begin by describing my competence for writing this book. No, I am not a doctor or a psychiatrist; my qualifications are far more appropriate. I spent thirty years of my life as a confirmed fapper. In the later years I used porn on a daily bases to get orgasm(s).During my life I had made a great number of attempts to stop. I never got past a full week of abstinence, and I was still climbing up the wall, with an “annoying alarm clock beeping” in my head called craving. With most PMOers, on the health side, it&rsquo;s a question of “ I&rsquo;ll stop before it happens to me.” I had reached the stage where I knew it has caused PIED, hypofrontality (inability to control and execute action towards a goal), irritability, lack of energy, soulless eyes, mental dryness, stress and pain in the lower back, genital irritations. It bothered me, but it still didn&rsquo;t stop me.</p> <p>I felt lack of enthusiasm to go to gym or just a walk even if it’s sunny outside or simple weight lifting at home either. I had reached the stage where I gave up even trying to stop. I found excuses in substitute methods (controlled use, safe porn, porn-diet and etc. discussed later) as advocated by sexologists, forum users and medical pros - who have no idea of its effect on brain chemistry and who are themselves fooled by their &rsquo;little monster&rsquo; (not devil or satan - we will talk about monsters later) . The novelty trap and shock value provided by internet porn delivered at home with a low risk high reward deal is something that they can’t even think of. They are still in the static playboy era. And the younger ones have buried their heads under the sand so they can still continue to PMO.</p> -<p>The worst part is it was not so much that I enjoyed the PMO. It was just doing it routinely, a chore - like slipping down the water slides, in fact there are brain water slides greased well by the neuro chemicals (DeltaFosB proteins made by dopamine which store emotion scripts for easy recall, will be discussing later). A simple cue such as a commercial, or a day to day stress that got ‘relieved’ temporarily by PMO is all it takes to complete the ride down the ‘waterslide’. Some time in their lives most PMOers have suffered from the illusion that they enjoy the ride, the novelty, the rush and of course the orgasm, but I never had that illusion.</p> +<p>The worst part is it was not so much that I enjoyed the PMO. It was just doing it routinely, a chore - like slipping down the water slides, in fact there are brain water slides greased well by the neurochemicals (DeltaFosB proteins made by dopamine which store emotion scripts for easy recall, will be discussing later). A simple cue such as a commercial, or a day to day stress that got ‘relieved’ temporarily by PMO is all it takes to complete the ride down the ‘waterslide’. Some time in their lives most PMOers have suffered from the illusion that they enjoy the ride, the novelty, the rush and of course the orgasm, but I never had that illusion.</p> <p>I have most times detested the porn, even when I liked the orgasm. But at all times I thought a release from PMO helped me to relax. It gave me courage and confidence, and I was always miserable when I tried to stop, never being able to visualize an enjoyable life without PMO. And so my PMO habit which had started before my marriage stayed with me during and after my marriage was over. I had experienced PIED but I blocked it out and found excuses , “it happens to every man”. Well it does of course - but &lsquo;it&rsquo; happened to me again and again. My penis, I found it difficult to get hard - when I am with real woman. Could it be because I had habituated it to work in limp mode? Later I found that it was hard for me to get hard even with porn.</p> -<p>My girlfriend gave a book by Dr David Burns - which I liked very much. I also practised the exercises and got interested in it. Through the book I came to know of Dr. Abraham Low and his books on rational therapy - it is now known as Recovery International. At the same time - my soon to be ex-wife also sent me to a therapist. I completed therapy - and was getting out of my mental rut and started a new beginning in my life. I continued my reading and self education from the above two authors and started to read about REBT and Dr. Albert Ellis. I poured into all of his books and got myself well trained in REBT. I still practice it on a daily bases. I do ABC write ups (and DE and F as well)<sup id="fnref:1"><a href="#fn:1" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">1</a></sup> and actively journal my daily endorsements. I keep my DML (daily mood logs) and Endorse documents in an online spreadsheet.</p> +<p>My girlfriend gave a book by Dr David Burns - which I liked very much. I also practiced the exercises and got interested in it. Through the book I came to know of Dr. Abraham Low and his books on rational therapy - it is now known as Recovery International. At the same time - my soon to be ex-wife also sent me to a therapist. I completed therapy - and was getting out of my mental rut and started a new beginning in my life. I continued my reading and self education from the above two authors and started to read about REBT and Dr. Albert Ellis. I poured into all of his books and got myself well trained in REBT. I still practice it on a daily bases. I do ABC write ups (and DE and F as well)<sup id="fnref:1"><a href="#fn:1" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">1</a></sup> and actively journal my daily endorsements. I keep my DML (daily mood logs) and Endorse documents in an online spreadsheet.</p> <p>I was able to spot my rigid beliefs, exaggerations, self-rating and low frustration tolerance and immediately self-talk myself to have healthy negative emotions when needed. I was able to get my alcohol intake under control, cigarettes were on and off, and I rode through divorces. The point is that I was able to go through them all with the lowest disturbance in any random test set of divorced 40 yr old guys. However, I was still struggling with the occasional excesses that are inevitable with alcohol. I absolutely hated the cigarettes. I was aware of my (and the little monster&rsquo;s) efforts to dig a hole and hide my head in sand about my daily PMO affecting my sex life. I had two incidences of PIED, and found substitutes in getting a fleshlight to simulate a female vagina and also as a form of stamina training.</p> <p>I then somehow landed on the Amazon page of Allen Carr’s best seller book on how to stop smoking. I used it to quit my smoking by the time I completed the reading. I felt so light and happy about quitting, how can I not be, I don’t have the feelings of misery and self-sacrifice. I don’t even feel the ‘resistance to temptations’ that most feel which taxes their will power. I know I found something that will work for me. Now, cigarettes are not the society’s favourite anyway and it carried a social stigma so that would be easy, right? I then challenged myself to my next problem, alcohol - where my frequent excesses were starting to bother me. I realized that I am finding excuses and minimizing my nasty and shameful drunken behaviours many times. I can also see I am using it as a crutch and also as pleasure - but more of the former. I guess that it has to do my nature of being melancholic. And yes, I was able to kick that habit as well.</p> @@ -4518,7 +4518,7 @@ Do not take anything for granted. Question not only what I tell you but also you <p>Some PUA<sup id="fnref:2"><a href="#fn:2" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">2</a></sup> experts say something like: PMO only once in four days “ Every PMOer knows that it is the one day that most PMOers will do twice as many as they usually do and sometimes they ‘close the shop’ to run home knowing that it is their final day of ‘fasting’ and because no one like being told what to do, particularly by people who dismiss PMOers as mere idiots and don&rsquo;t understand their problem.</p> <p>Because they don&rsquo;t completely understand PMOers themselves or how to make it easy for them to quit, their attitude is &lsquo;Try this method. If it doesn&rsquo;t work try another: Can you imagine if there were ten different ways of treating appendicitis? Nine of them cured 10 per cent of the patients, which means they killed 90 per cent of them and the tenth way cured 95 per cent. Imagine that knowledge of the tenth method had been available for free, but the vast majority of the medical profession was still recommending the other nine.</p> <p>Someone pointed out that doctors might well find themselves liable to a legal action for malpractice, by not advising their patients of the best way to quit. Ironically he was a great advocate of substituting methods (soft porn, solo, nude only, porn-diet etc), I try hard not to be vindictive, but I hope he becomes the first victim of his suggestion.</p> -<p>There are many websites that talk about the harms of PMO. You can find content that explains scientifically the harms of high speed internet porn on the brain. There is much literature and studies of neuro chemicals and the neuroplasticity of the brain and how it is affected by PMO. I read many comments on forums and blogs of how some were able to overcome the addiction. They might just as well have wasted it on trying to persuade their readers that motorbikes can kill you. Do they not realize that youngsters know that one ‘look’ at a tube site won&rsquo;t kill them and that no youngster ever expects to get hooked? The link between porn and PIED porn induced ED, has been established for some time now. Yet more youngsters are becoming hooked nowadays than ever before.</p> +<p>There are many websites that talk about the harms of PMO. You can find content that explains scientifically the harms of high speed internet porn on the brain. There is much literature and studies of neurochemicals and the neuroplasticity of the brain and how it is affected by PMO. I read many comments on forums and blogs of how some were able to overcome the addiction. They might just as well have wasted it on trying to persuade their readers that motorbikes can kill you. Do they not realize that youngsters know that one ‘look’ at a tube site won&rsquo;t kill them and that no youngster ever expects to get hooked? The link between porn and PIED porn induced ED, has been established for some time now. Yet more youngsters are becoming hooked nowadays than ever before.</p> <p>Youngsters don&rsquo;t need to be preached on the harms of PIED, hypofrontality, dopamine surge and the resulting cutting down of the associated dopamine receptors. Young and old PMOers tend to avoid such materials anyway. Practically every subscriber and reader of sites such as YBOP knows the brain science and the self-sabotage nature of PMO. I myself has seen the damages in my personal life. On a more serious note, two men in my own family had MO addiction ( porn was not prevalent 20 yrs ago) and I can see how they were peevish and melancholic when they felt deprived or guilty related to their MO. But that didn&rsquo;t prevent me from falling into the trap.</p> <p>However, the snowball won&rsquo;t become an avalanche until the medical profession and the media stop recommending methods that make it harder to quit and accept that EASYPEASYWAY is not just another method: BUT THE ONLY SENSIBLE METHOD TO USE! I don&rsquo;t expect you to believe me at this stage, but by the time you have finished the book, you will understand.</p> <p>Even the comparatively few failures that we have say something like: &lsquo;I haven&rsquo;t succeeded yet, but your way is better than any I know.&rsquo; If when you finish the book, you feel that you owe me a debt of gratitude, you can more than repay that debt. Not just by recommending EASYPEASYWAY to your friends, but whenever you see or read an article advocating some other method, email to them asking why they aren&rsquo;t advocating EASYWAY.</p> @@ -4574,8 +4574,7 @@ easy to quit.</p> <li>It takes willpower to quit</li> <li>Once an addict always an addict</li> <li>Telling PMOers that it will turn them into robots will make them to quit</li> -<li>Substitutes, particularly soft porn, reality porn, solo naked only porn etc.. and training toys -such as fleshlight, helps PMOers to regain their full unfading erections.</li> +<li>Substitutes, particularly soft porn, reality porn, solo naked only porn etc.. and training toys such as fleshlight, helps PMOers to regain their full unfading erections.</li> <li>All porn is same in their rate of addictiveness</li> <li>In particular, when I had dispelled the illusion that it is difficult to quit and that you have to go through a transitional period of misery in order to do so, I naively thought that the rest of diff --git a/new-site/public/library/hackbook/02-01-introduction/index.html b/new-site/public/library/hackbook/02-01-introduction/index.html index 89fb840f..211173f4 100644 --- a/new-site/public/library/hackbook/02-01-introduction/index.html +++ b/new-site/public/library/hackbook/02-01-introduction/index.html @@ -48,8 +48,7 @@ easy to quit.

  • It takes willpower to quit
  • Once an addict always an addict
  • Telling PMOers that it will turn them into robots will make them to quit
    • -
  • Substitutes, particularly soft porn, reality porn, solo naked only porn etc.. and training toys -such as fleshlight, helps PMOers to regain their full unfading erections.
    • +
  • Substitutes, particularly soft porn, reality porn, solo naked only porn etc.. and training toys such as fleshlight, helps PMOers to regain their full unfading erections.
  • All porn is same in their rate of addictiveness
  • In particular, when I had dispelled the illusion that it is difficult to quit and that you have to go through a transitional period of misery in order to do so, I naively thought that the rest of diff --git a/new-site/public/library/hackbook/02-02-sister-kenny/index.html b/new-site/public/library/hackbook/02-02-sister-kenny/index.html index 92e619d2..65fe8683 100644 --- a/new-site/public/library/hackbook/02-02-sister-kenny/index.html +++ b/new-site/public/library/hackbook/02-02-sister-kenny/index.html @@ -31,7 +31,7 @@

    Some PUA2 experts say something like: PMO only once in four days “ Every PMOer knows that it is the one day that most PMOers will do twice as many as they usually do and sometimes they ‘close the shop’ to run home knowing that it is their final day of ‘fasting’ and because no one like being told what to do, particularly by people who dismiss PMOers as mere idiots and don’t understand their problem.

    Because they don’t completely understand PMOers themselves or how to make it easy for them to quit, their attitude is ‘Try this method. If it doesn’t work try another: Can you imagine if there were ten different ways of treating appendicitis? Nine of them cured 10 per cent of the patients, which means they killed 90 per cent of them and the tenth way cured 95 per cent. Imagine that knowledge of the tenth method had been available for free, but the vast majority of the medical profession was still recommending the other nine.

    Someone pointed out that doctors might well find themselves liable to a legal action for malpractice, by not advising their patients of the best way to quit. Ironically he was a great advocate of substituting methods (soft porn, solo, nude only, porn-diet etc), I try hard not to be vindictive, but I hope he becomes the first victim of his suggestion.

    -

    There are many websites that talk about the harms of PMO. You can find content that explains scientifically the harms of high speed internet porn on the brain. There is much literature and studies of neuro chemicals and the neuroplasticity of the brain and how it is affected by PMO. I read many comments on forums and blogs of how some were able to overcome the addiction. They might just as well have wasted it on trying to persuade their readers that motorbikes can kill you. Do they not realize that youngsters know that one ‘look’ at a tube site won’t kill them and that no youngster ever expects to get hooked? The link between porn and PIED porn induced ED, has been established for some time now. Yet more youngsters are becoming hooked nowadays than ever before.

    +

    There are many websites that talk about the harms of PMO. You can find content that explains scientifically the harms of high speed internet porn on the brain. There is much literature and studies of neurochemicals and the neuroplasticity of the brain and how it is affected by PMO. I read many comments on forums and blogs of how some were able to overcome the addiction. They might just as well have wasted it on trying to persuade their readers that motorbikes can kill you. Do they not realize that youngsters know that one ‘look’ at a tube site won’t kill them and that no youngster ever expects to get hooked? The link between porn and PIED porn induced ED, has been established for some time now. Yet more youngsters are becoming hooked nowadays than ever before.

    Youngsters don’t need to be preached on the harms of PIED, hypofrontality, dopamine surge and the resulting cutting down of the associated dopamine receptors. Young and old PMOers tend to avoid such materials anyway. Practically every subscriber and reader of sites such as YBOP knows the brain science and the self-sabotage nature of PMO. I myself has seen the damages in my personal life. On a more serious note, two men in my own family had MO addiction ( porn was not prevalent 20 yrs ago) and I can see how they were peevish and melancholic when they felt deprived or guilty related to their MO. But that didn’t prevent me from falling into the trap.

    However, the snowball won’t become an avalanche until the medical profession and the media stop recommending methods that make it harder to quit and accept that EASYPEASYWAY is not just another method: BUT THE ONLY SENSIBLE METHOD TO USE! I don’t expect you to believe me at this stage, but by the time you have finished the book, you will understand.

    Even the comparatively few failures that we have say something like: ‘I haven’t succeeded yet, but your way is better than any I know.’ If when you finish the book, you feel that you owe me a debt of gratitude, you can more than repay that debt. Not just by recommending EASYPEASYWAY to your friends, but whenever you see or read an article advocating some other method, email to them asking why they aren’t advocating EASYWAY.

    diff --git a/new-site/public/library/hackbook/03-01-the-worst-pmo-addict-i-have-yet-to-meet/index.html b/new-site/public/library/hackbook/03-01-the-worst-pmo-addict-i-have-yet-to-meet/index.html index 4d8f9132..090e80a8 100644 --- a/new-site/public/library/hackbook/03-01-the-worst-pmo-addict-i-have-yet-to-meet/index.html +++ b/new-site/public/library/hackbook/03-01-the-worst-pmo-addict-i-have-yet-to-meet/index.html @@ -21,9 +21,9 @@

    Perhaps I should begin by describing my competence for writing this book. No, I am not a doctor or a psychiatrist; my qualifications are far more appropriate. I spent thirty years of my life as a confirmed fapper. In the later years I used porn on a daily bases to get orgasm(s).During my life I had made a great number of attempts to stop. I never got past a full week of abstinence, and I was still climbing up the wall, with an “annoying alarm clock beeping” in my head called craving. With most PMOers, on the health side, it’s a question of “ I’ll stop before it happens to me.” I had reached the stage where I knew it has caused PIED, hypofrontality (inability to control and execute action towards a goal), irritability, lack of energy, soulless eyes, mental dryness, stress and pain in the lower back, genital irritations. It bothered me, but it still didn’t stop me.

    I felt lack of enthusiasm to go to gym or just a walk even if it’s sunny outside or simple weight lifting at home either. I had reached the stage where I gave up even trying to stop. I found excuses in substitute methods (controlled use, safe porn, porn-diet and etc. discussed later) as advocated by sexologists, forum users and medical pros - who have no idea of its effect on brain chemistry and who are themselves fooled by their ’little monster’ (not devil or satan - we will talk about monsters later) . The novelty trap and shock value provided by internet porn delivered at home with a low risk high reward deal is something that they can’t even think of. They are still in the static playboy era. And the younger ones have buried their heads under the sand so they can still continue to PMO.

    -

    The worst part is it was not so much that I enjoyed the PMO. It was just doing it routinely, a chore - like slipping down the water slides, in fact there are brain water slides greased well by the neuro chemicals (DeltaFosB proteins made by dopamine which store emotion scripts for easy recall, will be discussing later). A simple cue such as a commercial, or a day to day stress that got ‘relieved’ temporarily by PMO is all it takes to complete the ride down the ‘waterslide’. Some time in their lives most PMOers have suffered from the illusion that they enjoy the ride, the novelty, the rush and of course the orgasm, but I never had that illusion.

    +

    The worst part is it was not so much that I enjoyed the PMO. It was just doing it routinely, a chore - like slipping down the water slides, in fact there are brain water slides greased well by the neurochemicals (DeltaFosB proteins made by dopamine which store emotion scripts for easy recall, will be discussing later). A simple cue such as a commercial, or a day to day stress that got ‘relieved’ temporarily by PMO is all it takes to complete the ride down the ‘waterslide’. Some time in their lives most PMOers have suffered from the illusion that they enjoy the ride, the novelty, the rush and of course the orgasm, but I never had that illusion.

    I have most times detested the porn, even when I liked the orgasm. But at all times I thought a release from PMO helped me to relax. It gave me courage and confidence, and I was always miserable when I tried to stop, never being able to visualize an enjoyable life without PMO. And so my PMO habit which had started before my marriage stayed with me during and after my marriage was over. I had experienced PIED but I blocked it out and found excuses , “it happens to every man”. Well it does of course - but ‘it’ happened to me again and again. My penis, I found it difficult to get hard - when I am with real woman. Could it be because I had habituated it to work in limp mode? Later I found that it was hard for me to get hard even with porn.

    -

    My girlfriend gave a book by Dr David Burns - which I liked very much. I also practised the exercises and got interested in it. Through the book I came to know of Dr. Abraham Low and his books on rational therapy - it is now known as Recovery International. At the same time - my soon to be ex-wife also sent me to a therapist. I completed therapy - and was getting out of my mental rut and started a new beginning in my life. I continued my reading and self education from the above two authors and started to read about REBT and Dr. Albert Ellis. I poured into all of his books and got myself well trained in REBT. I still practice it on a daily bases. I do ABC write ups (and DE and F as well)1 and actively journal my daily endorsements. I keep my DML (daily mood logs) and Endorse documents in an online spreadsheet.

    +

    My girlfriend gave a book by Dr David Burns - which I liked very much. I also practiced the exercises and got interested in it. Through the book I came to know of Dr. Abraham Low and his books on rational therapy - it is now known as Recovery International. At the same time - my soon to be ex-wife also sent me to a therapist. I completed therapy - and was getting out of my mental rut and started a new beginning in my life. I continued my reading and self education from the above two authors and started to read about REBT and Dr. Albert Ellis. I poured into all of his books and got myself well trained in REBT. I still practice it on a daily bases. I do ABC write ups (and DE and F as well)1 and actively journal my daily endorsements. I keep my DML (daily mood logs) and Endorse documents in an online spreadsheet.

    I was able to spot my rigid beliefs, exaggerations, self-rating and low frustration tolerance and immediately self-talk myself to have healthy negative emotions when needed. I was able to get my alcohol intake under control, cigarettes were on and off, and I rode through divorces. The point is that I was able to go through them all with the lowest disturbance in any random test set of divorced 40 yr old guys. However, I was still struggling with the occasional excesses that are inevitable with alcohol. I absolutely hated the cigarettes. I was aware of my (and the little monster’s) efforts to dig a hole and hide my head in sand about my daily PMO affecting my sex life. I had two incidences of PIED, and found substitutes in getting a fleshlight to simulate a female vagina and also as a form of stamina training.

    I then somehow landed on the Amazon page of Allen Carr’s best seller book on how to stop smoking. I used it to quit my smoking by the time I completed the reading. I felt so light and happy about quitting, how can I not be, I don’t have the feelings of misery and self-sacrifice. I don’t even feel the ‘resistance to temptations’ that most feel which taxes their will power. I know I found something that will work for me. Now, cigarettes are not the society’s favourite anyway and it carried a social stigma so that would be easy, right? I then challenged myself to my next problem, alcohol - where my frequent excesses were starting to bother me. I realized that I am finding excuses and minimizing my nasty and shameful drunken behaviours many times. I can also see I am using it as a crutch and also as pleasure - but more of the former. I guess that it has to do my nature of being melancholic. And yes, I was able to kick that habit as well.

    diff --git a/new-site/public/library/hackbook/03-03-why-is-it-difficult-to-stop/index.html b/new-site/public/library/hackbook/03-03-why-is-it-difficult-to-stop/index.html index c64c375c..2a3c8de8 100644 --- a/new-site/public/library/hackbook/03-03-why-is-it-difficult-to-stop/index.html +++ b/new-site/public/library/hackbook/03-03-why-is-it-difficult-to-stop/index.html @@ -27,7 +27,7 @@

    All PMOers feel that something evil has got possession of them. In the early days it is a question of, “I am going to stop, not today but tomorrow.” Eventually we get to the stage where we think either that we haven’t got the willpower or that there is something inherent in the whole PMO that we must have in order to enjoy life.

    As I said previously, the problem is not explaining why it is easy to stop; it is explaining why it is difficult. In fact, the real problem is explaining scientifically why anybody does it even after getting the insights on the neurological damages of addictions not limited to porn.

    The whole business of porn is an extraordinary enigma. One of the reasons we get on to it is because of the thousands of people are already into it, about 35% of the population approximately. Yet every one of them wishes he or she had not started in the first place, telling us that life is like driving in second gear. We cannot quite believe they are not enjoying it. We associate it with freedom or being “sex-educated” and work hard to become hooked ourselves. We then spend the rest of our lives telling others not to do it and trying to kick the habit ourselves.

    -

    We also spend the rest of our lives feeling hopeless and miserable. Time spent on porn can accumulate to a large percentage of our life in this planet! What do we do with that amount of time spent? We ‘educate’ ourselves with supranormal1 ‘material’ that makes us stupidly prefer and childishly long for these cold images - even when warm real ones are available. By the constant surge and drop of dopamine induced by PMO, we sentence ourselves to a lifetime of irritability, anger, frustration, stress, fatigue2, PIED, hypofrontality etc. In short, it is a lifetime of slavery. It is logically and intuitively clear that amative sex (physical touch, feel, voice etc.) is the best part of sex and is even better (if Karezza3 is practised, although not necessary for the current purposes) than the propagative (orgasm) part, except when children are desired. So, when we use porn in the absence of the best part of sex we feel miserable and guilty.

    +

    We also spend the rest of our lives feeling hopeless and miserable. Time spent on porn can accumulate to a large percentage of our life in this planet! What do we do with that amount of time spent? We ‘educate’ ourselves with supranormal1 ‘material’ that makes us stupidly prefer and childishly long for these cold images - even when warm real ones are available. By the constant surge and drop of dopamine induced by PMO, we sentence ourselves to a lifetime of irritability, anger, frustration, stress, fatigue2, PIED, hypofrontality etc. In short, it is a lifetime of slavery. It is logically and intuitively clear that amative sex (physical touch, feel, voice etc.) is the best part of sex and is even better (if Karezza3 is practiced, although not necessary for the current purposes) than the propagative (orgasm) part, except when children are desired. So, when we use porn in the absence of the best part of sex we feel miserable and guilty.

    In fact, all the reading about internet pornography’s addictive capabilities and it’s destructive effects here and in other online sites makes us even more nervous and hopeless. When we are trying to cut down or stop, we end up feeling deprived. We wish we didn’t have to. What sort of hobby is it that when you are doing it you wish you weren’t, and when you are not doing it you crave for it? A lifetime of an otherwise intelligent, rational human being going through life in contempt.

    The PMOer despises himself, every time he has an unreliable erection, a fading penetration, reading about PIED and other stuff on the YBOP forum, every time he could not pull himself up to exercise after a daytime PMO, every PMO behind his or her trustfully asleep partner’s back, every time he sees his tired face and lifeless eyes in the restroom mirror.

    Having to go through life with these awful black shadows at the back of his mind, what does he get out of it? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! Pleasure? Enjoyment? Relaxation? A prop? A boost? All illusions, unless you consider the wearing of tight shoes to enjoy the removal of them as some sort of pleasure!

    diff --git a/new-site/public/library/hackbook/03-06-internet-porn/index.html b/new-site/public/library/hackbook/03-06-internet-porn/index.html index 727441f9..0664eaf3 100644 --- a/new-site/public/library/hackbook/03-06-internet-porn/index.html +++ b/new-site/public/library/hackbook/03-06-internet-porn/index.html @@ -57,9 +57,9 @@ became addicted. However, the satisfaction is only temporary because in order to

    We talk about internet porn being relaxing or giving satisfaction. But how can you be satisfied unless you were dissatisfied in the first place? Why don’t non-PMOer suffer from this dissatisfied state and why, after a no-sex date, when the non-PMOers are completely relaxed, are PMOers completely unrelaxed until they have satisfied their ’little monster’?

    A Pleasure or Crutch? -

    Forgive me if I dwell on this subject for a moment. The main reason that PMOers find it difficult to quit is that they believe that they are giving up a genuine pleasure or crutch. It is absolutely essential to understand that you are giving up nothing whatsoever. The best way to understand the subtleties of the PMO trap is to compare it with eating. If we are in the habit of eating regular meals, we are not aware of being hungry between meals. Only if the meal is delayed are we aware of being hungry, and even then, there is no physical pain, just an empty, insecure feeling which we know as: ‘I need to eat.’ And the process of satisfying our hunger is a very pleasantpastime.

    +

    Forgive me if I dwell on this subject for a moment. The main reason that PMOers find it difficult to quit is that they believe that they are giving up a genuine pleasure or crutch. It is absolutely essential to understand that you are giving up nothing whatsoever. The best way to understand the subtleties of the PMO trap is to compare it with eating. If we are in the habit of eating regular meals, we are not aware of being hungry between meals. Only if the meal is delayed are we aware of being hungry, and even then, there is no physical pain, just an empty, insecure feeling which we know as: ‘I need to eat.’ And the process of satisfying our hunger is a very pleasant pastime.

    PMOing appears to be almost identical. The empty, insecure feeling which we know as: ‘wanting or needing an PMO orgasm’ is identical to a hunger for food, although one will not satisfy the other. Like hunger, there is no physical pain and the feeling is so imperceptible that we are not even aware of it between PMO sessions. It’s only if we want to masturbate and aren’t able to reach internet for porn that we become aware of any discomfort. But when we do PMO we feel satisfied.

    -

    It is this similarity to eating which helps to fool PMOers into believing that they receive some genuine pleasure. Some PMOers find it very difficult to grasp that there is no pleasure or crutch, whatsoever to PMO. Some argue: “How can you say there is no crutch? When I orgasm up then I’llfeel less nervous than before.”

    +

    It is this similarity to eating which helps to fool PMOers into believing that they receive some genuine pleasure. Some PMOers find it very difficult to grasp that there is no pleasure or crutch, whatsoever to PMO. Some argue: “How can you say there is no crutch? When I orgasm up then I’ll feel less nervous than before.”

    Although eating and PMOing appear to be very similar. In fact they are exact opposites:

    1. You eat to survive and to energize your life, whereas PMOing dims your mojo and cuts down your energy.
      2. diff --git a/new-site/public/library/hackbook/03-12-relaxation/index.html b/new-site/public/library/hackbook/03-12-relaxation/index.html index 79f8e1e0..afa44ace 100644 --- a/new-site/public/library/hackbook/03-12-relaxation/index.html +++ b/new-site/public/library/hackbook/03-12-relaxation/index.html @@ -29,7 +29,7 @@ One of the favourite PMO sessions for most is the one after a trip to a new plac

      Every time I hear a porn addict trying to justify his addiction the message is, “Oh, it calms me. It helps me to relax.”

      On the Internet I read about a single dad whose 6 year old son would want to share his bed sometimes in the night after a scary movie yet the dad would refuse under some pretence so he can have his PMO session and edge for hours.

      Let me try a smoking analogy here… a couple of years ago, the adoption authorities threatened to prevent smokers from adopting children. A man rang up, irate. He said, “you are completely wrong. I can remember when I was a child, if I had a contentious matter to raise with my mother, I would wait until she lit a cigarette because she was more relaxed then.” Why couldn’t he talk to his mother when she wasn’t smoking a cigarette?

      -

      Why are PMOers so stressd when they are not getting their fix, even after a real sex with a real woman? I read about a guy who has 9’s and 10’s open for dating with him as he was in the advertising field. I am talking about dinner and stuff only - but he lost interest in those dinners as his Internet porn is far more ‘easy’ for him - no restaurant spending and no hearing a ‘no’ from his date at the end of an evening. Why would he bother when his little monster tells him about the low-risk high-reward scheme called PMO that is at his fingertips when he reaches home? Those real girls sure have competition.

      +

      Why are PMOers so stressed when they are not getting their fix, even after a real sex with a real woman? I read about a guy who has 9’s and 10’s open for dating with him as he was in the advertising field. I am talking about dinner and stuff only - but he lost interest in those dinners as his Internet porn is far more ‘easy’ for him - no restaurant spending and no hearing a ‘no’ from his date at the end of an evening. Why would he bother when his little monster tells him about the low-risk high-reward scheme called PMO that is at his fingertips when he reaches home? Those real girls sure have competition.

      Why are non-PMOers completely relaxed then? Why are PMOers not able to relax without a fix for a day or two? If you read about the experience of a PMOer taking the abstinence oath and quitting and you notice his struggle with the temptations. You can clearly see that they are not relaxed at all when they are not allowed to have the ‘only pleasure’ they are “entitled to enjoy.” They’ve forgotten what it feels like to be completely relaxed. That’s one of the many joys you have to come. The whole business of PMOing can be likened to a fly being caught in a pitcher plant. To begin with, the fly is eating the nectar. At some imperceptible stage the plant begins to eat the fly.

      Isn’t it time you climbed out of that plant?

      diff --git a/new-site/public/library/hackbook/03-18-energy/index.html b/new-site/public/library/hackbook/03-18-energy/index.html index 2ae3ac8b..d0a097ab 100644 --- a/new-site/public/library/hackbook/03-18-energy/index.html +++ b/new-site/public/library/hackbook/03-18-energy/index.html @@ -26,7 +26,7 @@ One of the subtleties of the PMO trap is that the effects it has on us, both phy

      The fact that it took you twenty years to reach that state is irrelevant. So it is with PMOing. If I could immediately transfer you into your mind and body to give you a direct comparison on how you would feel having stopped internet porn for just three weeks, that is all I would need to do to persuade you to quit. You would think: “Will I really feel this good?” Or what it really amounts to: “Had I really sunk that low?” I emphasize that I don’t just mean that you would feel healthier and have more energy but how you would also feel more confident and relaxed and better able to concentrate.

      As a teenager, I can remember rushing around just for the hell of it. I was interested in reading, I had set up a chemical lab, tried fixing (old CRT) TVs, dabbled with cooking etc. I was fascinated by scientists. Then I got attracted to makers and doers of the rag-to-riches lives of real people. I had the inner push and I knew I had it.

      I then was introduced to print porn, then came music TV channels, followed by static computer images. By this time I was permanently tired and lethargic. Then came internet porn of images and downloadable movies. I used to struggle to wake up at nine o’clock in the morning. After my evening meal I would already be thinking about porn before going to bed, even when I had a girlfriend. Sex with her was a ‘chore’. But PMO with internet porn had all the novelty, shock, etc. No one can match that lure. And then the internet upped its game with tube sites, catalogued porn genres, ‘hearting’ favorites and all in lightning speed, high quality, no traces of downloads. Even the browsers went incognito, thoroughly helping me to cover my tracks. Reward with no pains.

      -

      By this time, the lack of energy, tiredness and everything related to it is nicely swept under the rug of ‘getting’ older. My friends and colleagues by this time are all living sedentary lifestyles. I hought this behaviour was normal. I believed that energy was the exclusive prerogative of children and teenagers, and that old age began in the early twenties. I did not notice that I was paying attention to my health in general by eating right - which they did not. But I did not notice that anomaly.

      +

      By this time, the lack of energy, tiredness and everything related to it is nicely swept under the rug of ‘getting’ older. My friends and colleagues by this time are all living sedentary lifestyles. I thought this behaviour was normal. I believed that energy was the exclusive prerogative of children and teenagers, and that old age began in the early twenties. I did not notice that I was paying attention to my health in general by eating right - which they did not. But I did not notice that anomaly.

      Shortly after I stopped PMO, I was relieved that this foggy and muggy feeling left me. For example, I can keep a steady gaze with my eyes on just about anything for a longer time. If I am looking into someone’s eyes it is even longer. However something truly marvellous and unexpected also happened. I started waking at seven o’clock in the morning feeling completely rested and full of energy, actually wanting to exercise, jog and swim. I have read about a forty-eight year old who couldn’t run a step or swim a stroke. The only sporting activities were confined to such dynamic pursuits as green bowling, affectionately referred to as “the old man’s game,” and golf, for which he had to use a motorized cart. But after quitting PMO he started going to gym - not that it is necessary that everyone would - but still. Almost all us know that it’s great to have energy and when you feel physically and mentally strong, it feels great to be alive.

      That is the point with PMOing - you are always debiting your energy. And in that process tampering with your brain codes of the reward circuit. Which again is going to make you miserable and vulnerable to stress and strain attacks. Unfortunately when you feel down with all of this you will seek a cigarette or alcohol or again porn. Unlike quitting smoking, where the return of your physical and mental health is only gradual, quitting PMO gives you excellent results from day one. Starting with energy. Then your mental programming to close the ‘water slides’ takes a bit of time. You need to kill the Little Monster - which will be explained in later chapters. Recovering your RC is nothing like as slow as the slide into the pit and if you are going through the trauma of the willpower method of quitting, any health or energy gains will be obliterated by the depression you will be going through. Unfortunately, I cannot immediately transfer you into your mind and body in three weeks’ time. But you can! You know instinctively that what I am telling you is correct. All you need to do is: USE YOUR IMAGINATION!

      diff --git a/new-site/public/library/hackbook/03-24-casual-pmoers-teenagers-non-pmoers/index.html b/new-site/public/library/hackbook/03-24-casual-pmoers-teenagers-non-pmoers/index.html index 368cfcc8..94802512 100644 --- a/new-site/public/library/hackbook/03-24-casual-pmoers-teenagers-non-pmoers/index.html +++ b/new-site/public/library/hackbook/03-24-casual-pmoers-teenagers-non-pmoers/index.html @@ -85,7 +85,7 @@ No PMOer ever decided to become a PMOer casual or otherwise, therefore: All PMOe

      Teenagers are generally more difficult to cure, not because they find it difficult to stop but because either they do not believe they are hooked or they are at the primary stage of the trap and suffer from the delusion that they will automatically have stopped before the secondary stage.

      I would like particularly to warn parents of children who loathe internet porn not to have a false sense of security. All children loathe the dark sides of porn until they become hooked. You did too at one time. Also do not be fooled by scare campaigns. The trap is the same as it always was. Children know that internet porn is supranormal stimuli but they also know that one ‘visit’ or ‘peek’ will not do it. At some stage they may be influenced by a girlfriend or boyfriend, school friend or work colleague.

      -

      You may think that all they need is an education in brain plasticity and that PMO (including even masturbation) acts like a virus in their brain programme to convince them they could never become hooked. I find society’s failure to prevent our children from becoming addicted to internet porn and other drugs to be the most disturbing of all the many disturbing facets of addiction. I beg you not to be complacent in this matter. It is necessary to protect youngsters as their brain is more plastic at that age. I strongly urge you to read the YBOP book and educate yourself of the brain science. Even if you suspect your teenager might lready be hooked, the book will provide excellent guidance to assist in gaining understanding for someone to escape.

      +

      You may think that all they need is an education in brain plasticity and that PMO (including even masturbation) acts like a virus in their brain programme to convince them they could never become hooked. I find society’s failure to prevent our children from becoming addicted to internet porn and other drugs to be the most disturbing of all the many disturbing facets of addiction. I beg you not to be complacent in this matter. It is necessary to protect youngsters as their brain is more plastic at that age. I strongly urge you to read the YBOP book and educate yourself of the brain science. Even if you suspect your teenager might already be hooked, the book will provide excellent guidance to assist in gaining understanding for someone to escape.

        @@ -93,7 +93,7 @@ No PMOer ever decided to become a PMOer casual or otherwise, therefore: All PMOe

        RC - reward circuits. ↩︎

      1. -

        Regulation - Up and down regulation is a natural reactionary process of the brain to adjust receptors and or their neuro-transmitters based on the level that is present. ↩︎

        +

        Regulation - Up and down regulation is a natural reactionary process of the brain to adjust receptors and or their neurotransmitters based on the level that is present. ↩︎

      diff --git a/new-site/public/library/hackbook/index.xml b/new-site/public/library/hackbook/index.xml index c1ed2f6f..ae5cf903 100644 --- a/new-site/public/library/hackbook/index.xml +++ b/new-site/public/library/hackbook/index.xml @@ -3525,7 +3525,7 @@ Get out of the habit of envying PMOers and start seeing them as the miserable, p </blockquote> <p>Teenagers are generally more difficult to cure, not because they find it difficult to stop but because either they do not believe they are hooked or they are at the primary stage of the trap and suffer from the delusion that they will automatically have stopped before the secondary stage.</p> <p>I would like particularly to warn parents of children who loathe internet porn not to have a false sense of security. All children loathe the dark sides of porn until they become hooked. You did too at one time. Also do not be fooled by scare campaigns. The trap is the same as it always was. Children know that internet porn is supranormal stimuli but they also know that one ‘visit’ or ‘peek’ will not do it. At some stage they may be influenced by a girlfriend or boyfriend, school friend or work colleague.</p> -<p>You may think that all they need is an education in brain plasticity and that PMO (including even masturbation) acts like a virus in their brain programme to convince them they could never become hooked. I find society&rsquo;s failure to prevent our children from becoming addicted to internet porn and other drugs to be the most disturbing of all the many disturbing facets of addiction. I beg you not to be complacent in this matter. It is necessary to protect youngsters as their brain is more plastic at that age. I strongly urge you to read the YBOP book and educate yourself of the brain science. Even if you suspect your teenager might lready be hooked, the book will provide excellent guidance to assist in gaining understanding for someone to escape.</p> +<p>You may think that all they need is an education in brain plasticity and that PMO (including even masturbation) acts like a virus in their brain programme to convince them they could never become hooked. I find society&rsquo;s failure to prevent our children from becoming addicted to internet porn and other drugs to be the most disturbing of all the many disturbing facets of addiction. I beg you not to be complacent in this matter. It is necessary to protect youngsters as their brain is more plastic at that age. I strongly urge you to read the YBOP book and educate yourself of the brain science. Even if you suspect your teenager might already be hooked, the book will provide excellent guidance to assist in gaining understanding for someone to escape.</p> <div class="footnotes" role="doc-endnotes"> <hr> <ol> @@ -3533,7 +3533,7 @@ Get out of the habit of envying PMOers and start seeing them as the miserable, p <p><strong>RC</strong> - reward circuits.&#160;<a href="#fnref:1" class="footnote-backref" role="doc-backlink">&#x21a9;&#xfe0e;</a></p> </li> <li id="fn:2"> -<p><strong>Regulation</strong> - Up and down regulation is a natural reactionary process of the brain to adjust receptors and or their neuro-transmitters based on the level that is present.&#160;<a href="#fnref:2" class="footnote-backref" role="doc-backlink">&#x21a9;&#xfe0e;</a></p> +<p><strong>Regulation</strong> - Up and down regulation is a natural reactionary process of the brain to adjust receptors and or their neurotransmitters based on the level that is present.&#160;<a href="#fnref:2" class="footnote-backref" role="doc-backlink">&#x21a9;&#xfe0e;</a></p> </li> </ol> </div> @@ -3758,7 +3758,7 @@ Get out of the habit of envying PMOers and start seeing them as the miserable, p <p>The fact that it took you twenty years to reach that state is irrelevant. So it is with PMOing. If I could immediately transfer you into your mind and body to give you a direct comparison on how you would feel having stopped internet porn for just three weeks, that is all I would need to do to persuade you to quit. You would think: “Will I really feel this good?” Or what it really amounts to: “Had I really sunk that low?” I emphasize that I don&rsquo;t just mean that you would feel healthier and have more energy but how you would also feel more confident and relaxed and better able to concentrate.</p> <p>As a teenager, I can remember rushing around just for the hell of it. I was interested in reading, I had set up a chemical lab, tried fixing (old CRT) TVs, dabbled with cooking etc. I was fascinated by scientists. Then I got attracted to makers and doers of the rag-to-riches lives of real people. I had the inner push and I knew I had it.</p> <p>I then was introduced to print porn, then came music TV channels, followed by static computer images. By this time I was permanently tired and lethargic. Then came internet porn of images and downloadable movies. I used to struggle to wake up at nine o&rsquo;clock in the morning. After my evening meal I would already be thinking about porn before going to bed, even when I had a girlfriend. Sex with her was a ‘chore’. But PMO with internet porn had all the novelty, shock, etc. No one can match that lure. And then the internet upped its game with tube sites, catalogued porn genres, ‘hearting’ favorites and all in lightning speed, high quality, no traces of downloads. Even the browsers went incognito, thoroughly helping me to cover my tracks. Reward with no pains.</p> -<p>By this time, the lack of energy, tiredness and everything related to it is nicely swept under the rug of ‘getting’ older. My friends and colleagues by this time are all living sedentary lifestyles. I hought this behaviour was normal. I believed that energy was the exclusive prerogative of children and teenagers, and that old age began in the early twenties. I did not notice that I was paying attention to my health in general by eating right - which they did not. But I did not notice that anomaly.</p> +<p>By this time, the lack of energy, tiredness and everything related to it is nicely swept under the rug of ‘getting’ older. My friends and colleagues by this time are all living sedentary lifestyles. I thought this behaviour was normal. I believed that energy was the exclusive prerogative of children and teenagers, and that old age began in the early twenties. I did not notice that I was paying attention to my health in general by eating right - which they did not. But I did not notice that anomaly.</p> <p>Shortly after I stopped PMO, I was relieved that this foggy and muggy feeling left me. For example, I can keep a steady gaze with my eyes on just about anything for a longer time. If I am looking into someone’s eyes it is even longer. However something truly marvellous and unexpected also happened. I started waking at seven o&rsquo;clock in the morning feeling completely rested and full of energy, actually wanting to exercise, jog and swim. I have read about a forty-eight year old who couldn&rsquo;t run a step or swim a stroke. The only sporting activities were confined to such dynamic pursuits as green bowling, affectionately referred to as “the old man&rsquo;s game,” and golf, for which he had to use a motorized cart. But after quitting PMO he started going to gym - not that it is necessary that everyone would - but still. Almost all us know that it&rsquo;s great to have energy and when you feel physically and mentally strong, it feels great to be alive.</p> <p>That is the point with PMOing - you are always debiting your energy. And in that process tampering with your brain codes of the reward circuit. Which again is going to make you miserable and vulnerable to stress and strain attacks. Unfortunately when you feel down with all of this you will seek a cigarette or alcohol or again porn. Unlike quitting smoking, where the return of your physical and mental health is only gradual, quitting PMO gives you excellent results from day one. Starting with energy. Then your mental programming to close the ‘water slides’ takes a bit of time. You need to kill the Little Monster - which will be explained in later chapters. Recovering your RC is nothing like as slow as the slide into the pit and if you are going through the trauma of the willpower method of quitting, any health or energy gains will be obliterated by the depression you will be going through. Unfortunately, I cannot immediately transfer you into your mind and body in three weeks&rsquo; time. But you can! You know instinctively that what I am telling you is correct. All you need to do is: USE YOUR IMAGINATION!</p> @@ -4028,7 +4028,7 @@ pleasure.”</em></p> <p>Every time I hear a porn addict trying to justify his addiction the message is, “Oh, it calms me. It helps me to relax.”</p> <p>On the Internet I read about a single dad whose 6 year old son would want to share his bed sometimes in the night after a scary movie yet the dad would refuse under some pretence so he can have his PMO session and edge for hours.</p> <p>Let me try a smoking analogy here&hellip; a couple of years ago, the adoption authorities threatened to prevent smokers from adopting children. A man rang up, irate. He said, “you are completely wrong. I can remember when I was a child, if I had a contentious matter to raise with my mother, I would wait until she lit a cigarette because she was more relaxed then.” Why couldn&rsquo;t he talk to his mother when she wasn&rsquo;t smoking a cigarette?</p> -<p>Why are PMOers so stressd when they are not getting their fix, even after a real sex with a real woman? I read about a guy who has 9&rsquo;s and 10&rsquo;s open for dating with him as he was in the advertising field. I am talking about dinner and stuff only - but he lost interest in those dinners as his Internet porn is far more ‘easy’ for him - no restaurant spending and no hearing a ‘no’ from his date at the end of an evening. Why would he bother when his little monster tells him about the low-risk high-reward scheme called PMO that is at his fingertips when he reaches home? Those real girls sure have competition.</p> +<p>Why are PMOers so stressed when they are not getting their fix, even after a real sex with a real woman? I read about a guy who has 9&rsquo;s and 10&rsquo;s open for dating with him as he was in the advertising field. I am talking about dinner and stuff only - but he lost interest in those dinners as his Internet porn is far more ‘easy’ for him - no restaurant spending and no hearing a ‘no’ from his date at the end of an evening. Why would he bother when his little monster tells him about the low-risk high-reward scheme called PMO that is at his fingertips when he reaches home? Those real girls sure have competition.</p> <p>Why are non-PMOers completely relaxed then? Why are PMOers not able to relax without a fix for a day or two? If you read about the experience of a PMOer taking the abstinence oath and quitting and you notice his struggle with the temptations. You can clearly see that they are not relaxed at all when they are not allowed to have the ‘only pleasure’ they are “entitled to enjoy.” They&rsquo;ve forgotten what it feels like to be completely relaxed. That&rsquo;s one of the many joys you have to come. The whole business of PMOing can be likened to a fly being caught in a pitcher plant. To begin with, the fly is eating the nectar. At some imperceptible stage the plant begins to eat the fly.</p> <p>Isn&rsquo;t it time you climbed out of that plant?</p> @@ -4251,9 +4251,9 @@ became addicted. However, the satisfaction is only temporary because in order to <p>We talk about internet porn being relaxing or giving satisfaction. But how can you be satisfied unless you were dissatisfied in the first place? Why don&rsquo;t non-PMOer suffer from this dissatisfied state and why, after a no-sex date, when the non-PMOers are completely relaxed, are PMOers completely unrelaxed until they have satisfied their &rsquo;little monster&rsquo;?</p> <h2 id="a-pleasure-or-crutch">A Pleasure or Crutch? <a class="anchor" href="#a-pleasure-or-crutch"> <span class="spanForHeader">¶</span> -</a></h2><p>Forgive me if I dwell on this subject for a moment. The main reason that PMOers find it difficult to quit is that they believe that they are giving up a genuine pleasure or crutch. It is absolutely essential to understand that you are giving up nothing whatsoever. The best way to understand the subtleties of the PMO trap is to compare it with eating. If we are in the habit of eating regular meals, we are not aware of being hungry between meals. Only if the meal is delayed are we aware of being hungry, and even then, there is no physical pain, just an empty, insecure feeling which we know as: &lsquo;I need to eat.&rsquo; And the process of satisfying our hunger is a very pleasantpastime.</p> +</a></h2><p>Forgive me if I dwell on this subject for a moment. The main reason that PMOers find it difficult to quit is that they believe that they are giving up a genuine pleasure or crutch. It is absolutely essential to understand that you are giving up nothing whatsoever. The best way to understand the subtleties of the PMO trap is to compare it with eating. If we are in the habit of eating regular meals, we are not aware of being hungry between meals. Only if the meal is delayed are we aware of being hungry, and even then, there is no physical pain, just an empty, insecure feeling which we know as: &lsquo;I need to eat.&rsquo; And the process of satisfying our hunger is a very pleasant pastime.</p> <p>PMOing appears to be almost identical. The empty, insecure feeling which we know as: &lsquo;wanting or needing an PMO orgasm’ is identical to a hunger for food, although one will not satisfy the other. Like hunger, there is no physical pain and the feeling is so imperceptible that we are not even aware of it between PMO sessions. It&rsquo;s only if we want to masturbate and aren&rsquo;t able to reach internet for porn that we become aware of any discomfort. But when we do PMO we feel satisfied.</p> -<p>It is this similarity to eating which helps to fool PMOers into believing that they receive some genuine pleasure. Some PMOers find it very difficult to grasp that there is no pleasure or crutch, whatsoever to PMO. Some argue: “How can you say there is no crutch? When I orgasm up then I&rsquo;llfeel less nervous than before.”</p> +<p>It is this similarity to eating which helps to fool PMOers into believing that they receive some genuine pleasure. Some PMOers find it very difficult to grasp that there is no pleasure or crutch, whatsoever to PMO. Some argue: “How can you say there is no crutch? When I orgasm up then I&rsquo;ll feel less nervous than before.”</p> <p>Although eating and PMOing appear to be very similar. In fact they are exact opposites:</p> <ol> <li>You eat to survive and to energize your life, whereas PMOing dims your mojo and cuts down your energy.</li> @@ -4379,7 +4379,7 @@ became addicted. However, the satisfaction is only temporary because in order to <p>All PMOers feel that something evil has got possession of them. In the early days it is a question of, “I am going to stop, not today but tomorrow.” Eventually we get to the stage where we think either that we haven&rsquo;t got the willpower or that there is something inherent in the whole PMO that we must have in order to enjoy life.</p> <p>As I said previously, the problem is not explaining why it is easy to stop; it is explaining why it is difficult. In fact, the real problem is explaining scientifically why anybody does it even after getting the insights on the neurological damages of addictions not limited to porn.</p> <p>The whole business of porn is an extraordinary enigma. One of the reasons we get on to it is because of the thousands of people are already into it, about 35% of the population approximately. Yet every one of them wishes he or she had not started in the first place, telling us that life is like driving in second gear. We cannot quite believe they are not enjoying it. We associate it with freedom or being “sex-educated” and work hard to become hooked ourselves. We then spend the rest of our lives telling others not to do it and trying to kick the habit ourselves.</p> -<p>We also spend the rest of our lives feeling hopeless and miserable. Time spent on porn can accumulate to a large percentage of our life in this planet! What do we do with that amount of time spent? We ‘educate’ ourselves with supranormal<sup id="fnref:1"><a href="#fn:1" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">1</a></sup> ‘material’ that makes us stupidly prefer and childishly long for these cold images - even when warm real ones are available. By the constant surge and drop of dopamine induced by PMO, we sentence ourselves to a lifetime of irritability, anger, frustration, stress, fatigue<sup id="fnref:2"><a href="#fn:2" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">2</a></sup>, PIED, hypofrontality etc. In short, it is a lifetime of slavery. It is logically and intuitively clear that amative sex (physical touch, feel, voice etc.) is the best part of sex and is even better (if Karezza<sup id="fnref:3"><a href="#fn:3" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">3</a></sup> is practised, although not necessary for the current purposes) than the propagative (orgasm) part, except when children are desired. So, when we use porn in the absence of the best part of sex we feel miserable and guilty.</p> +<p>We also spend the rest of our lives feeling hopeless and miserable. Time spent on porn can accumulate to a large percentage of our life in this planet! What do we do with that amount of time spent? We ‘educate’ ourselves with supranormal<sup id="fnref:1"><a href="#fn:1" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">1</a></sup> ‘material’ that makes us stupidly prefer and childishly long for these cold images - even when warm real ones are available. By the constant surge and drop of dopamine induced by PMO, we sentence ourselves to a lifetime of irritability, anger, frustration, stress, fatigue<sup id="fnref:2"><a href="#fn:2" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">2</a></sup>, PIED, hypofrontality etc. In short, it is a lifetime of slavery. It is logically and intuitively clear that amative sex (physical touch, feel, voice etc.) is the best part of sex and is even better (if Karezza<sup id="fnref:3"><a href="#fn:3" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">3</a></sup> is practiced, although not necessary for the current purposes) than the propagative (orgasm) part, except when children are desired. So, when we use porn in the absence of the best part of sex we feel miserable and guilty.</p> <p>In fact, all the reading about internet pornography&rsquo;s addictive capabilities and it’s destructive effects here and in other online sites makes us even more nervous and hopeless. When we are trying to cut down or stop, we end up feeling deprived. We wish we didn&rsquo;t have to. What sort of hobby is it that when you are doing it you wish you weren&rsquo;t, and when you are not doing it you crave for it? A lifetime of an otherwise intelligent, rational human being going through life in contempt.</p> <p>The PMOer despises himself, every time he has an unreliable erection, a fading penetration, reading about PIED and other stuff on the YBOP forum, every time he could not pull himself up to exercise after a daytime PMO, every PMO behind his or her trustfully asleep partner’s back, every time he sees his tired face and lifeless eyes in the restroom mirror.</p> <p>Having to go through life with these awful black shadows at the back of his mind, what does he get out of it? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! Pleasure? Enjoyment? Relaxation? A prop? A boost? All illusions, unless you consider the wearing of tight shoes to enjoy the removal of them as some sort of pleasure!</p> @@ -4468,9 +4468,9 @@ man and woman from performance based anxieties.&#160;<a href="#fnref: <span class="spanForHeader">¶</span> </a></h2><p>Perhaps I should begin by describing my competence for writing this book. No, I am not a doctor or a psychiatrist; my qualifications are far more appropriate. I spent thirty years of my life as a confirmed fapper. In the later years I used porn on a daily bases to get orgasm(s).During my life I had made a great number of attempts to stop. I never got past a full week of abstinence, and I was still climbing up the wall, with an “annoying alarm clock beeping” in my head called craving. With most PMOers, on the health side, it&rsquo;s a question of “ I&rsquo;ll stop before it happens to me.” I had reached the stage where I knew it has caused PIED, hypofrontality (inability to control and execute action towards a goal), irritability, lack of energy, soulless eyes, mental dryness, stress and pain in the lower back, genital irritations. It bothered me, but it still didn&rsquo;t stop me.</p> <p>I felt lack of enthusiasm to go to gym or just a walk even if it’s sunny outside or simple weight lifting at home either. I had reached the stage where I gave up even trying to stop. I found excuses in substitute methods (controlled use, safe porn, porn-diet and etc. discussed later) as advocated by sexologists, forum users and medical pros - who have no idea of its effect on brain chemistry and who are themselves fooled by their &rsquo;little monster&rsquo; (not devil or satan - we will talk about monsters later) . The novelty trap and shock value provided by internet porn delivered at home with a low risk high reward deal is something that they can’t even think of. They are still in the static playboy era. And the younger ones have buried their heads under the sand so they can still continue to PMO.</p> -<p>The worst part is it was not so much that I enjoyed the PMO. It was just doing it routinely, a chore - like slipping down the water slides, in fact there are brain water slides greased well by the neuro chemicals (DeltaFosB proteins made by dopamine which store emotion scripts for easy recall, will be discussing later). A simple cue such as a commercial, or a day to day stress that got ‘relieved’ temporarily by PMO is all it takes to complete the ride down the ‘waterslide’. Some time in their lives most PMOers have suffered from the illusion that they enjoy the ride, the novelty, the rush and of course the orgasm, but I never had that illusion.</p> +<p>The worst part is it was not so much that I enjoyed the PMO. It was just doing it routinely, a chore - like slipping down the water slides, in fact there are brain water slides greased well by the neurochemicals (DeltaFosB proteins made by dopamine which store emotion scripts for easy recall, will be discussing later). A simple cue such as a commercial, or a day to day stress that got ‘relieved’ temporarily by PMO is all it takes to complete the ride down the ‘waterslide’. Some time in their lives most PMOers have suffered from the illusion that they enjoy the ride, the novelty, the rush and of course the orgasm, but I never had that illusion.</p> <p>I have most times detested the porn, even when I liked the orgasm. But at all times I thought a release from PMO helped me to relax. It gave me courage and confidence, and I was always miserable when I tried to stop, never being able to visualize an enjoyable life without PMO. And so my PMO habit which had started before my marriage stayed with me during and after my marriage was over. I had experienced PIED but I blocked it out and found excuses , “it happens to every man”. Well it does of course - but &lsquo;it&rsquo; happened to me again and again. My penis, I found it difficult to get hard - when I am with real woman. Could it be because I had habituated it to work in limp mode? Later I found that it was hard for me to get hard even with porn.</p> -<p>My girlfriend gave a book by Dr David Burns - which I liked very much. I also practised the exercises and got interested in it. Through the book I came to know of Dr. Abraham Low and his books on rational therapy - it is now known as Recovery International. At the same time - my soon to be ex-wife also sent me to a therapist. I completed therapy - and was getting out of my mental rut and started a new beginning in my life. I continued my reading and self education from the above two authors and started to read about REBT and Dr. Albert Ellis. I poured into all of his books and got myself well trained in REBT. I still practice it on a daily bases. I do ABC write ups (and DE and F as well)<sup id="fnref:1"><a href="#fn:1" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">1</a></sup> and actively journal my daily endorsements. I keep my DML (daily mood logs) and Endorse documents in an online spreadsheet.</p> +<p>My girlfriend gave a book by Dr David Burns - which I liked very much. I also practiced the exercises and got interested in it. Through the book I came to know of Dr. Abraham Low and his books on rational therapy - it is now known as Recovery International. At the same time - my soon to be ex-wife also sent me to a therapist. I completed therapy - and was getting out of my mental rut and started a new beginning in my life. I continued my reading and self education from the above two authors and started to read about REBT and Dr. Albert Ellis. I poured into all of his books and got myself well trained in REBT. I still practice it on a daily bases. I do ABC write ups (and DE and F as well)<sup id="fnref:1"><a href="#fn:1" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">1</a></sup> and actively journal my daily endorsements. I keep my DML (daily mood logs) and Endorse documents in an online spreadsheet.</p> <p>I was able to spot my rigid beliefs, exaggerations, self-rating and low frustration tolerance and immediately self-talk myself to have healthy negative emotions when needed. I was able to get my alcohol intake under control, cigarettes were on and off, and I rode through divorces. The point is that I was able to go through them all with the lowest disturbance in any random test set of divorced 40 yr old guys. However, I was still struggling with the occasional excesses that are inevitable with alcohol. I absolutely hated the cigarettes. I was aware of my (and the little monster&rsquo;s) efforts to dig a hole and hide my head in sand about my daily PMO affecting my sex life. I had two incidences of PIED, and found substitutes in getting a fleshlight to simulate a female vagina and also as a form of stamina training.</p> <p>I then somehow landed on the Amazon page of Allen Carr’s best seller book on how to stop smoking. I used it to quit my smoking by the time I completed the reading. I felt so light and happy about quitting, how can I not be, I don’t have the feelings of misery and self-sacrifice. I don’t even feel the ‘resistance to temptations’ that most feel which taxes their will power. I know I found something that will work for me. Now, cigarettes are not the society’s favourite anyway and it carried a social stigma so that would be easy, right? I then challenged myself to my next problem, alcohol - where my frequent excesses were starting to bother me. I realized that I am finding excuses and minimizing my nasty and shameful drunken behaviours many times. I can also see I am using it as a crutch and also as pleasure - but more of the former. I guess that it has to do my nature of being melancholic. And yes, I was able to kick that habit as well.</p> @@ -4518,7 +4518,7 @@ Do not take anything for granted. Question not only what I tell you but also you <p>Some PUA<sup id="fnref:2"><a href="#fn:2" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">2</a></sup> experts say something like: PMO only once in four days “ Every PMOer knows that it is the one day that most PMOers will do twice as many as they usually do and sometimes they ‘close the shop’ to run home knowing that it is their final day of ‘fasting’ and because no one like being told what to do, particularly by people who dismiss PMOers as mere idiots and don&rsquo;t understand their problem.</p> <p>Because they don&rsquo;t completely understand PMOers themselves or how to make it easy for them to quit, their attitude is &lsquo;Try this method. If it doesn&rsquo;t work try another: Can you imagine if there were ten different ways of treating appendicitis? Nine of them cured 10 per cent of the patients, which means they killed 90 per cent of them and the tenth way cured 95 per cent. Imagine that knowledge of the tenth method had been available for free, but the vast majority of the medical profession was still recommending the other nine.</p> <p>Someone pointed out that doctors might well find themselves liable to a legal action for malpractice, by not advising their patients of the best way to quit. Ironically he was a great advocate of substituting methods (soft porn, solo, nude only, porn-diet etc), I try hard not to be vindictive, but I hope he becomes the first victim of his suggestion.</p> -<p>There are many websites that talk about the harms of PMO. You can find content that explains scientifically the harms of high speed internet porn on the brain. There is much literature and studies of neuro chemicals and the neuroplasticity of the brain and how it is affected by PMO. I read many comments on forums and blogs of how some were able to overcome the addiction. They might just as well have wasted it on trying to persuade their readers that motorbikes can kill you. Do they not realize that youngsters know that one ‘look’ at a tube site won&rsquo;t kill them and that no youngster ever expects to get hooked? The link between porn and PIED porn induced ED, has been established for some time now. Yet more youngsters are becoming hooked nowadays than ever before.</p> +<p>There are many websites that talk about the harms of PMO. You can find content that explains scientifically the harms of high speed internet porn on the brain. There is much literature and studies of neurochemicals and the neuroplasticity of the brain and how it is affected by PMO. I read many comments on forums and blogs of how some were able to overcome the addiction. They might just as well have wasted it on trying to persuade their readers that motorbikes can kill you. Do they not realize that youngsters know that one ‘look’ at a tube site won&rsquo;t kill them and that no youngster ever expects to get hooked? The link between porn and PIED porn induced ED, has been established for some time now. Yet more youngsters are becoming hooked nowadays than ever before.</p> <p>Youngsters don&rsquo;t need to be preached on the harms of PIED, hypofrontality, dopamine surge and the resulting cutting down of the associated dopamine receptors. Young and old PMOers tend to avoid such materials anyway. Practically every subscriber and reader of sites such as YBOP knows the brain science and the self-sabotage nature of PMO. I myself has seen the damages in my personal life. On a more serious note, two men in my own family had MO addiction ( porn was not prevalent 20 yrs ago) and I can see how they were peevish and melancholic when they felt deprived or guilty related to their MO. But that didn&rsquo;t prevent me from falling into the trap.</p> <p>However, the snowball won&rsquo;t become an avalanche until the medical profession and the media stop recommending methods that make it harder to quit and accept that EASYPEASYWAY is not just another method: BUT THE ONLY SENSIBLE METHOD TO USE! I don&rsquo;t expect you to believe me at this stage, but by the time you have finished the book, you will understand.</p> <p>Even the comparatively few failures that we have say something like: &lsquo;I haven&rsquo;t succeeded yet, but your way is better than any I know.&rsquo; If when you finish the book, you feel that you owe me a debt of gratitude, you can more than repay that debt. Not just by recommending EASYPEASYWAY to your friends, but whenever you see or read an article advocating some other method, email to them asking why they aren&rsquo;t advocating EASYWAY.</p> @@ -4574,8 +4574,7 @@ easy to quit.</p> <li>It takes willpower to quit</li> <li>Once an addict always an addict</li> <li>Telling PMOers that it will turn them into robots will make them to quit</li> -<li>Substitutes, particularly soft porn, reality porn, solo naked only porn etc.. and training toys -such as fleshlight, helps PMOers to regain their full unfading erections.</li> +<li>Substitutes, particularly soft porn, reality porn, solo naked only porn etc.. and training toys such as fleshlight, helps PMOers to regain their full unfading erections.</li> <li>All porn is same in their rate of addictiveness</li> <li>In particular, when I had dispelled the illusion that it is difficult to quit and that you have to go through a transitional period of misery in order to do so, I naively thought that the rest of diff --git a/new-site/public/library/index.xml b/new-site/public/library/index.xml index bea3b71b..e843b58b 100644 --- a/new-site/public/library/index.xml +++ b/new-site/public/library/index.xml @@ -3525,7 +3525,7 @@ Get out of the habit of envying PMOers and start seeing them as the miserable, p </blockquote> <p>Teenagers are generally more difficult to cure, not because they find it difficult to stop but because either they do not believe they are hooked or they are at the primary stage of the trap and suffer from the delusion that they will automatically have stopped before the secondary stage.</p> <p>I would like particularly to warn parents of children who loathe internet porn not to have a false sense of security. All children loathe the dark sides of porn until they become hooked. You did too at one time. Also do not be fooled by scare campaigns. The trap is the same as it always was. Children know that internet porn is supranormal stimuli but they also know that one ‘visit’ or ‘peek’ will not do it. At some stage they may be influenced by a girlfriend or boyfriend, school friend or work colleague.</p> -<p>You may think that all they need is an education in brain plasticity and that PMO (including even masturbation) acts like a virus in their brain programme to convince them they could never become hooked. I find society&rsquo;s failure to prevent our children from becoming addicted to internet porn and other drugs to be the most disturbing of all the many disturbing facets of addiction. I beg you not to be complacent in this matter. It is necessary to protect youngsters as their brain is more plastic at that age. I strongly urge you to read the YBOP book and educate yourself of the brain science. Even if you suspect your teenager might lready be hooked, the book will provide excellent guidance to assist in gaining understanding for someone to escape.</p> +<p>You may think that all they need is an education in brain plasticity and that PMO (including even masturbation) acts like a virus in their brain programme to convince them they could never become hooked. I find society&rsquo;s failure to prevent our children from becoming addicted to internet porn and other drugs to be the most disturbing of all the many disturbing facets of addiction. I beg you not to be complacent in this matter. It is necessary to protect youngsters as their brain is more plastic at that age. I strongly urge you to read the YBOP book and educate yourself of the brain science. Even if you suspect your teenager might already be hooked, the book will provide excellent guidance to assist in gaining understanding for someone to escape.</p> <div class="footnotes" role="doc-endnotes"> <hr> <ol> @@ -3533,7 +3533,7 @@ Get out of the habit of envying PMOers and start seeing them as the miserable, p <p><strong>RC</strong> - reward circuits.&#160;<a href="#fnref:1" class="footnote-backref" role="doc-backlink">&#x21a9;&#xfe0e;</a></p> </li> <li id="fn:2"> -<p><strong>Regulation</strong> - Up and down regulation is a natural reactionary process of the brain to adjust receptors and or their neuro-transmitters based on the level that is present.&#160;<a href="#fnref:2" class="footnote-backref" role="doc-backlink">&#x21a9;&#xfe0e;</a></p> +<p><strong>Regulation</strong> - Up and down regulation is a natural reactionary process of the brain to adjust receptors and or their neurotransmitters based on the level that is present.&#160;<a href="#fnref:2" class="footnote-backref" role="doc-backlink">&#x21a9;&#xfe0e;</a></p> </li> </ol> </div> @@ -3758,7 +3758,7 @@ Get out of the habit of envying PMOers and start seeing them as the miserable, p <p>The fact that it took you twenty years to reach that state is irrelevant. So it is with PMOing. If I could immediately transfer you into your mind and body to give you a direct comparison on how you would feel having stopped internet porn for just three weeks, that is all I would need to do to persuade you to quit. You would think: “Will I really feel this good?” Or what it really amounts to: “Had I really sunk that low?” I emphasize that I don&rsquo;t just mean that you would feel healthier and have more energy but how you would also feel more confident and relaxed and better able to concentrate.</p> <p>As a teenager, I can remember rushing around just for the hell of it. I was interested in reading, I had set up a chemical lab, tried fixing (old CRT) TVs, dabbled with cooking etc. I was fascinated by scientists. Then I got attracted to makers and doers of the rag-to-riches lives of real people. I had the inner push and I knew I had it.</p> <p>I then was introduced to print porn, then came music TV channels, followed by static computer images. By this time I was permanently tired and lethargic. Then came internet porn of images and downloadable movies. I used to struggle to wake up at nine o&rsquo;clock in the morning. After my evening meal I would already be thinking about porn before going to bed, even when I had a girlfriend. Sex with her was a ‘chore’. But PMO with internet porn had all the novelty, shock, etc. No one can match that lure. And then the internet upped its game with tube sites, catalogued porn genres, ‘hearting’ favorites and all in lightning speed, high quality, no traces of downloads. Even the browsers went incognito, thoroughly helping me to cover my tracks. Reward with no pains.</p> -<p>By this time, the lack of energy, tiredness and everything related to it is nicely swept under the rug of ‘getting’ older. My friends and colleagues by this time are all living sedentary lifestyles. I hought this behaviour was normal. I believed that energy was the exclusive prerogative of children and teenagers, and that old age began in the early twenties. I did not notice that I was paying attention to my health in general by eating right - which they did not. But I did not notice that anomaly.</p> +<p>By this time, the lack of energy, tiredness and everything related to it is nicely swept under the rug of ‘getting’ older. My friends and colleagues by this time are all living sedentary lifestyles. I thought this behaviour was normal. I believed that energy was the exclusive prerogative of children and teenagers, and that old age began in the early twenties. I did not notice that I was paying attention to my health in general by eating right - which they did not. But I did not notice that anomaly.</p> <p>Shortly after I stopped PMO, I was relieved that this foggy and muggy feeling left me. For example, I can keep a steady gaze with my eyes on just about anything for a longer time. If I am looking into someone’s eyes it is even longer. However something truly marvellous and unexpected also happened. I started waking at seven o&rsquo;clock in the morning feeling completely rested and full of energy, actually wanting to exercise, jog and swim. I have read about a forty-eight year old who couldn&rsquo;t run a step or swim a stroke. The only sporting activities were confined to such dynamic pursuits as green bowling, affectionately referred to as “the old man&rsquo;s game,” and golf, for which he had to use a motorized cart. But after quitting PMO he started going to gym - not that it is necessary that everyone would - but still. Almost all us know that it&rsquo;s great to have energy and when you feel physically and mentally strong, it feels great to be alive.</p> <p>That is the point with PMOing - you are always debiting your energy. And in that process tampering with your brain codes of the reward circuit. Which again is going to make you miserable and vulnerable to stress and strain attacks. Unfortunately when you feel down with all of this you will seek a cigarette or alcohol or again porn. Unlike quitting smoking, where the return of your physical and mental health is only gradual, quitting PMO gives you excellent results from day one. Starting with energy. Then your mental programming to close the ‘water slides’ takes a bit of time. You need to kill the Little Monster - which will be explained in later chapters. Recovering your RC is nothing like as slow as the slide into the pit and if you are going through the trauma of the willpower method of quitting, any health or energy gains will be obliterated by the depression you will be going through. Unfortunately, I cannot immediately transfer you into your mind and body in three weeks&rsquo; time. But you can! You know instinctively that what I am telling you is correct. All you need to do is: USE YOUR IMAGINATION!</p> @@ -4028,7 +4028,7 @@ pleasure.”</em></p> <p>Every time I hear a porn addict trying to justify his addiction the message is, “Oh, it calms me. It helps me to relax.”</p> <p>On the Internet I read about a single dad whose 6 year old son would want to share his bed sometimes in the night after a scary movie yet the dad would refuse under some pretence so he can have his PMO session and edge for hours.</p> <p>Let me try a smoking analogy here&hellip; a couple of years ago, the adoption authorities threatened to prevent smokers from adopting children. A man rang up, irate. He said, “you are completely wrong. I can remember when I was a child, if I had a contentious matter to raise with my mother, I would wait until she lit a cigarette because she was more relaxed then.” Why couldn&rsquo;t he talk to his mother when she wasn&rsquo;t smoking a cigarette?</p> -<p>Why are PMOers so stressd when they are not getting their fix, even after a real sex with a real woman? I read about a guy who has 9&rsquo;s and 10&rsquo;s open for dating with him as he was in the advertising field. I am talking about dinner and stuff only - but he lost interest in those dinners as his Internet porn is far more ‘easy’ for him - no restaurant spending and no hearing a ‘no’ from his date at the end of an evening. Why would he bother when his little monster tells him about the low-risk high-reward scheme called PMO that is at his fingertips when he reaches home? Those real girls sure have competition.</p> +<p>Why are PMOers so stressed when they are not getting their fix, even after a real sex with a real woman? I read about a guy who has 9&rsquo;s and 10&rsquo;s open for dating with him as he was in the advertising field. I am talking about dinner and stuff only - but he lost interest in those dinners as his Internet porn is far more ‘easy’ for him - no restaurant spending and no hearing a ‘no’ from his date at the end of an evening. Why would he bother when his little monster tells him about the low-risk high-reward scheme called PMO that is at his fingertips when he reaches home? Those real girls sure have competition.</p> <p>Why are non-PMOers completely relaxed then? Why are PMOers not able to relax without a fix for a day or two? If you read about the experience of a PMOer taking the abstinence oath and quitting and you notice his struggle with the temptations. You can clearly see that they are not relaxed at all when they are not allowed to have the ‘only pleasure’ they are “entitled to enjoy.” They&rsquo;ve forgotten what it feels like to be completely relaxed. That&rsquo;s one of the many joys you have to come. The whole business of PMOing can be likened to a fly being caught in a pitcher plant. To begin with, the fly is eating the nectar. At some imperceptible stage the plant begins to eat the fly.</p> <p>Isn&rsquo;t it time you climbed out of that plant?</p> @@ -4251,9 +4251,9 @@ became addicted. However, the satisfaction is only temporary because in order to <p>We talk about internet porn being relaxing or giving satisfaction. But how can you be satisfied unless you were dissatisfied in the first place? Why don&rsquo;t non-PMOer suffer from this dissatisfied state and why, after a no-sex date, when the non-PMOers are completely relaxed, are PMOers completely unrelaxed until they have satisfied their &rsquo;little monster&rsquo;?</p> <h2 id="a-pleasure-or-crutch">A Pleasure or Crutch? <a class="anchor" href="#a-pleasure-or-crutch"> <span class="spanForHeader">¶</span> -</a></h2><p>Forgive me if I dwell on this subject for a moment. The main reason that PMOers find it difficult to quit is that they believe that they are giving up a genuine pleasure or crutch. It is absolutely essential to understand that you are giving up nothing whatsoever. The best way to understand the subtleties of the PMO trap is to compare it with eating. If we are in the habit of eating regular meals, we are not aware of being hungry between meals. Only if the meal is delayed are we aware of being hungry, and even then, there is no physical pain, just an empty, insecure feeling which we know as: &lsquo;I need to eat.&rsquo; And the process of satisfying our hunger is a very pleasantpastime.</p> +</a></h2><p>Forgive me if I dwell on this subject for a moment. The main reason that PMOers find it difficult to quit is that they believe that they are giving up a genuine pleasure or crutch. It is absolutely essential to understand that you are giving up nothing whatsoever. The best way to understand the subtleties of the PMO trap is to compare it with eating. If we are in the habit of eating regular meals, we are not aware of being hungry between meals. Only if the meal is delayed are we aware of being hungry, and even then, there is no physical pain, just an empty, insecure feeling which we know as: &lsquo;I need to eat.&rsquo; And the process of satisfying our hunger is a very pleasant pastime.</p> <p>PMOing appears to be almost identical. The empty, insecure feeling which we know as: &lsquo;wanting or needing an PMO orgasm’ is identical to a hunger for food, although one will not satisfy the other. Like hunger, there is no physical pain and the feeling is so imperceptible that we are not even aware of it between PMO sessions. It&rsquo;s only if we want to masturbate and aren&rsquo;t able to reach internet for porn that we become aware of any discomfort. But when we do PMO we feel satisfied.</p> -<p>It is this similarity to eating which helps to fool PMOers into believing that they receive some genuine pleasure. Some PMOers find it very difficult to grasp that there is no pleasure or crutch, whatsoever to PMO. Some argue: “How can you say there is no crutch? When I orgasm up then I&rsquo;llfeel less nervous than before.”</p> +<p>It is this similarity to eating which helps to fool PMOers into believing that they receive some genuine pleasure. Some PMOers find it very difficult to grasp that there is no pleasure or crutch, whatsoever to PMO. Some argue: “How can you say there is no crutch? When I orgasm up then I&rsquo;ll feel less nervous than before.”</p> <p>Although eating and PMOing appear to be very similar. In fact they are exact opposites:</p> <ol> <li>You eat to survive and to energize your life, whereas PMOing dims your mojo and cuts down your energy.</li> @@ -4379,7 +4379,7 @@ became addicted. However, the satisfaction is only temporary because in order to <p>All PMOers feel that something evil has got possession of them. In the early days it is a question of, “I am going to stop, not today but tomorrow.” Eventually we get to the stage where we think either that we haven&rsquo;t got the willpower or that there is something inherent in the whole PMO that we must have in order to enjoy life.</p> <p>As I said previously, the problem is not explaining why it is easy to stop; it is explaining why it is difficult. In fact, the real problem is explaining scientifically why anybody does it even after getting the insights on the neurological damages of addictions not limited to porn.</p> <p>The whole business of porn is an extraordinary enigma. One of the reasons we get on to it is because of the thousands of people are already into it, about 35% of the population approximately. Yet every one of them wishes he or she had not started in the first place, telling us that life is like driving in second gear. We cannot quite believe they are not enjoying it. We associate it with freedom or being “sex-educated” and work hard to become hooked ourselves. We then spend the rest of our lives telling others not to do it and trying to kick the habit ourselves.</p> -<p>We also spend the rest of our lives feeling hopeless and miserable. Time spent on porn can accumulate to a large percentage of our life in this planet! What do we do with that amount of time spent? We ‘educate’ ourselves with supranormal<sup id="fnref:1"><a href="#fn:1" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">1</a></sup> ‘material’ that makes us stupidly prefer and childishly long for these cold images - even when warm real ones are available. By the constant surge and drop of dopamine induced by PMO, we sentence ourselves to a lifetime of irritability, anger, frustration, stress, fatigue<sup id="fnref:2"><a href="#fn:2" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">2</a></sup>, PIED, hypofrontality etc. In short, it is a lifetime of slavery. It is logically and intuitively clear that amative sex (physical touch, feel, voice etc.) is the best part of sex and is even better (if Karezza<sup id="fnref:3"><a href="#fn:3" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">3</a></sup> is practised, although not necessary for the current purposes) than the propagative (orgasm) part, except when children are desired. So, when we use porn in the absence of the best part of sex we feel miserable and guilty.</p> +<p>We also spend the rest of our lives feeling hopeless and miserable. Time spent on porn can accumulate to a large percentage of our life in this planet! What do we do with that amount of time spent? We ‘educate’ ourselves with supranormal<sup id="fnref:1"><a href="#fn:1" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">1</a></sup> ‘material’ that makes us stupidly prefer and childishly long for these cold images - even when warm real ones are available. By the constant surge and drop of dopamine induced by PMO, we sentence ourselves to a lifetime of irritability, anger, frustration, stress, fatigue<sup id="fnref:2"><a href="#fn:2" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">2</a></sup>, PIED, hypofrontality etc. In short, it is a lifetime of slavery. It is logically and intuitively clear that amative sex (physical touch, feel, voice etc.) is the best part of sex and is even better (if Karezza<sup id="fnref:3"><a href="#fn:3" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">3</a></sup> is practiced, although not necessary for the current purposes) than the propagative (orgasm) part, except when children are desired. So, when we use porn in the absence of the best part of sex we feel miserable and guilty.</p> <p>In fact, all the reading about internet pornography&rsquo;s addictive capabilities and it’s destructive effects here and in other online sites makes us even more nervous and hopeless. When we are trying to cut down or stop, we end up feeling deprived. We wish we didn&rsquo;t have to. What sort of hobby is it that when you are doing it you wish you weren&rsquo;t, and when you are not doing it you crave for it? A lifetime of an otherwise intelligent, rational human being going through life in contempt.</p> <p>The PMOer despises himself, every time he has an unreliable erection, a fading penetration, reading about PIED and other stuff on the YBOP forum, every time he could not pull himself up to exercise after a daytime PMO, every PMO behind his or her trustfully asleep partner’s back, every time he sees his tired face and lifeless eyes in the restroom mirror.</p> <p>Having to go through life with these awful black shadows at the back of his mind, what does he get out of it? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! Pleasure? Enjoyment? Relaxation? A prop? A boost? All illusions, unless you consider the wearing of tight shoes to enjoy the removal of them as some sort of pleasure!</p> @@ -4468,9 +4468,9 @@ man and woman from performance based anxieties.&#160;<a href="#fnref: <span class="spanForHeader">¶</span> </a></h2><p>Perhaps I should begin by describing my competence for writing this book. No, I am not a doctor or a psychiatrist; my qualifications are far more appropriate. I spent thirty years of my life as a confirmed fapper. In the later years I used porn on a daily bases to get orgasm(s).During my life I had made a great number of attempts to stop. I never got past a full week of abstinence, and I was still climbing up the wall, with an “annoying alarm clock beeping” in my head called craving. With most PMOers, on the health side, it&rsquo;s a question of “ I&rsquo;ll stop before it happens to me.” I had reached the stage where I knew it has caused PIED, hypofrontality (inability to control and execute action towards a goal), irritability, lack of energy, soulless eyes, mental dryness, stress and pain in the lower back, genital irritations. It bothered me, but it still didn&rsquo;t stop me.</p> <p>I felt lack of enthusiasm to go to gym or just a walk even if it’s sunny outside or simple weight lifting at home either. I had reached the stage where I gave up even trying to stop. I found excuses in substitute methods (controlled use, safe porn, porn-diet and etc. discussed later) as advocated by sexologists, forum users and medical pros - who have no idea of its effect on brain chemistry and who are themselves fooled by their &rsquo;little monster&rsquo; (not devil or satan - we will talk about monsters later) . The novelty trap and shock value provided by internet porn delivered at home with a low risk high reward deal is something that they can’t even think of. They are still in the static playboy era. And the younger ones have buried their heads under the sand so they can still continue to PMO.</p> -<p>The worst part is it was not so much that I enjoyed the PMO. It was just doing it routinely, a chore - like slipping down the water slides, in fact there are brain water slides greased well by the neuro chemicals (DeltaFosB proteins made by dopamine which store emotion scripts for easy recall, will be discussing later). A simple cue such as a commercial, or a day to day stress that got ‘relieved’ temporarily by PMO is all it takes to complete the ride down the ‘waterslide’. Some time in their lives most PMOers have suffered from the illusion that they enjoy the ride, the novelty, the rush and of course the orgasm, but I never had that illusion.</p> +<p>The worst part is it was not so much that I enjoyed the PMO. It was just doing it routinely, a chore - like slipping down the water slides, in fact there are brain water slides greased well by the neurochemicals (DeltaFosB proteins made by dopamine which store emotion scripts for easy recall, will be discussing later). A simple cue such as a commercial, or a day to day stress that got ‘relieved’ temporarily by PMO is all it takes to complete the ride down the ‘waterslide’. Some time in their lives most PMOers have suffered from the illusion that they enjoy the ride, the novelty, the rush and of course the orgasm, but I never had that illusion.</p> <p>I have most times detested the porn, even when I liked the orgasm. But at all times I thought a release from PMO helped me to relax. It gave me courage and confidence, and I was always miserable when I tried to stop, never being able to visualize an enjoyable life without PMO. And so my PMO habit which had started before my marriage stayed with me during and after my marriage was over. I had experienced PIED but I blocked it out and found excuses , “it happens to every man”. Well it does of course - but &lsquo;it&rsquo; happened to me again and again. My penis, I found it difficult to get hard - when I am with real woman. Could it be because I had habituated it to work in limp mode? Later I found that it was hard for me to get hard even with porn.</p> -<p>My girlfriend gave a book by Dr David Burns - which I liked very much. I also practised the exercises and got interested in it. Through the book I came to know of Dr. Abraham Low and his books on rational therapy - it is now known as Recovery International. At the same time - my soon to be ex-wife also sent me to a therapist. I completed therapy - and was getting out of my mental rut and started a new beginning in my life. I continued my reading and self education from the above two authors and started to read about REBT and Dr. Albert Ellis. I poured into all of his books and got myself well trained in REBT. I still practice it on a daily bases. I do ABC write ups (and DE and F as well)<sup id="fnref:1"><a href="#fn:1" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">1</a></sup> and actively journal my daily endorsements. I keep my DML (daily mood logs) and Endorse documents in an online spreadsheet.</p> +<p>My girlfriend gave a book by Dr David Burns - which I liked very much. I also practiced the exercises and got interested in it. Through the book I came to know of Dr. Abraham Low and his books on rational therapy - it is now known as Recovery International. At the same time - my soon to be ex-wife also sent me to a therapist. I completed therapy - and was getting out of my mental rut and started a new beginning in my life. I continued my reading and self education from the above two authors and started to read about REBT and Dr. Albert Ellis. I poured into all of his books and got myself well trained in REBT. I still practice it on a daily bases. I do ABC write ups (and DE and F as well)<sup id="fnref:1"><a href="#fn:1" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">1</a></sup> and actively journal my daily endorsements. I keep my DML (daily mood logs) and Endorse documents in an online spreadsheet.</p> <p>I was able to spot my rigid beliefs, exaggerations, self-rating and low frustration tolerance and immediately self-talk myself to have healthy negative emotions when needed. I was able to get my alcohol intake under control, cigarettes were on and off, and I rode through divorces. The point is that I was able to go through them all with the lowest disturbance in any random test set of divorced 40 yr old guys. However, I was still struggling with the occasional excesses that are inevitable with alcohol. I absolutely hated the cigarettes. I was aware of my (and the little monster&rsquo;s) efforts to dig a hole and hide my head in sand about my daily PMO affecting my sex life. I had two incidences of PIED, and found substitutes in getting a fleshlight to simulate a female vagina and also as a form of stamina training.</p> <p>I then somehow landed on the Amazon page of Allen Carr’s best seller book on how to stop smoking. I used it to quit my smoking by the time I completed the reading. I felt so light and happy about quitting, how can I not be, I don’t have the feelings of misery and self-sacrifice. I don’t even feel the ‘resistance to temptations’ that most feel which taxes their will power. I know I found something that will work for me. Now, cigarettes are not the society’s favourite anyway and it carried a social stigma so that would be easy, right? I then challenged myself to my next problem, alcohol - where my frequent excesses were starting to bother me. I realized that I am finding excuses and minimizing my nasty and shameful drunken behaviours many times. I can also see I am using it as a crutch and also as pleasure - but more of the former. I guess that it has to do my nature of being melancholic. And yes, I was able to kick that habit as well.</p> @@ -4518,7 +4518,7 @@ Do not take anything for granted. Question not only what I tell you but also you <p>Some PUA<sup id="fnref:2"><a href="#fn:2" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">2</a></sup> experts say something like: PMO only once in four days “ Every PMOer knows that it is the one day that most PMOers will do twice as many as they usually do and sometimes they ‘close the shop’ to run home knowing that it is their final day of ‘fasting’ and because no one like being told what to do, particularly by people who dismiss PMOers as mere idiots and don&rsquo;t understand their problem.</p> <p>Because they don&rsquo;t completely understand PMOers themselves or how to make it easy for them to quit, their attitude is &lsquo;Try this method. If it doesn&rsquo;t work try another: Can you imagine if there were ten different ways of treating appendicitis? Nine of them cured 10 per cent of the patients, which means they killed 90 per cent of them and the tenth way cured 95 per cent. Imagine that knowledge of the tenth method had been available for free, but the vast majority of the medical profession was still recommending the other nine.</p> <p>Someone pointed out that doctors might well find themselves liable to a legal action for malpractice, by not advising their patients of the best way to quit. Ironically he was a great advocate of substituting methods (soft porn, solo, nude only, porn-diet etc), I try hard not to be vindictive, but I hope he becomes the first victim of his suggestion.</p> -<p>There are many websites that talk about the harms of PMO. You can find content that explains scientifically the harms of high speed internet porn on the brain. There is much literature and studies of neuro chemicals and the neuroplasticity of the brain and how it is affected by PMO. I read many comments on forums and blogs of how some were able to overcome the addiction. They might just as well have wasted it on trying to persuade their readers that motorbikes can kill you. Do they not realize that youngsters know that one ‘look’ at a tube site won&rsquo;t kill them and that no youngster ever expects to get hooked? The link between porn and PIED porn induced ED, has been established for some time now. Yet more youngsters are becoming hooked nowadays than ever before.</p> +<p>There are many websites that talk about the harms of PMO. You can find content that explains scientifically the harms of high speed internet porn on the brain. There is much literature and studies of neurochemicals and the neuroplasticity of the brain and how it is affected by PMO. I read many comments on forums and blogs of how some were able to overcome the addiction. They might just as well have wasted it on trying to persuade their readers that motorbikes can kill you. Do they not realize that youngsters know that one ‘look’ at a tube site won&rsquo;t kill them and that no youngster ever expects to get hooked? The link between porn and PIED porn induced ED, has been established for some time now. Yet more youngsters are becoming hooked nowadays than ever before.</p> <p>Youngsters don&rsquo;t need to be preached on the harms of PIED, hypofrontality, dopamine surge and the resulting cutting down of the associated dopamine receptors. Young and old PMOers tend to avoid such materials anyway. Practically every subscriber and reader of sites such as YBOP knows the brain science and the self-sabotage nature of PMO. I myself has seen the damages in my personal life. On a more serious note, two men in my own family had MO addiction ( porn was not prevalent 20 yrs ago) and I can see how they were peevish and melancholic when they felt deprived or guilty related to their MO. But that didn&rsquo;t prevent me from falling into the trap.</p> <p>However, the snowball won&rsquo;t become an avalanche until the medical profession and the media stop recommending methods that make it harder to quit and accept that EASYPEASYWAY is not just another method: BUT THE ONLY SENSIBLE METHOD TO USE! I don&rsquo;t expect you to believe me at this stage, but by the time you have finished the book, you will understand.</p> <p>Even the comparatively few failures that we have say something like: &lsquo;I haven&rsquo;t succeeded yet, but your way is better than any I know.&rsquo; If when you finish the book, you feel that you owe me a debt of gratitude, you can more than repay that debt. Not just by recommending EASYPEASYWAY to your friends, but whenever you see or read an article advocating some other method, email to them asking why they aren&rsquo;t advocating EASYWAY.</p> @@ -4574,8 +4574,7 @@ easy to quit.</p> <li>It takes willpower to quit</li> <li>Once an addict always an addict</li> <li>Telling PMOers that it will turn them into robots will make them to quit</li> -<li>Substitutes, particularly soft porn, reality porn, solo naked only porn etc.. and training toys -such as fleshlight, helps PMOers to regain their full unfading erections.</li> +<li>Substitutes, particularly soft porn, reality porn, solo naked only porn etc.. and training toys such as fleshlight, helps PMOers to regain their full unfading erections.</li> <li>All porn is same in their rate of addictiveness</li> <li>In particular, when I had dispelled the illusion that it is difficult to quit and that you have to go through a transitional period of misery in order to do so, I naively thought that the rest of diff --git a/new-site/public/library/ted-kaczynski/index.xml b/new-site/public/library/ted-kaczynski/index.xml index f2dd03f7..8f55f293 100644 --- a/new-site/public/library/ted-kaczynski/index.xml +++ b/new-site/public/library/ted-kaczynski/index.xml @@ -3525,7 +3525,7 @@ Get out of the habit of envying PMOers and start seeing them as the miserable, p </blockquote> <p>Teenagers are generally more difficult to cure, not because they find it difficult to stop but because either they do not believe they are hooked or they are at the primary stage of the trap and suffer from the delusion that they will automatically have stopped before the secondary stage.</p> <p>I would like particularly to warn parents of children who loathe internet porn not to have a false sense of security. All children loathe the dark sides of porn until they become hooked. You did too at one time. Also do not be fooled by scare campaigns. The trap is the same as it always was. Children know that internet porn is supranormal stimuli but they also know that one ‘visit’ or ‘peek’ will not do it. At some stage they may be influenced by a girlfriend or boyfriend, school friend or work colleague.</p> -<p>You may think that all they need is an education in brain plasticity and that PMO (including even masturbation) acts like a virus in their brain programme to convince them they could never become hooked. I find society&rsquo;s failure to prevent our children from becoming addicted to internet porn and other drugs to be the most disturbing of all the many disturbing facets of addiction. I beg you not to be complacent in this matter. It is necessary to protect youngsters as their brain is more plastic at that age. I strongly urge you to read the YBOP book and educate yourself of the brain science. Even if you suspect your teenager might lready be hooked, the book will provide excellent guidance to assist in gaining understanding for someone to escape.</p> +<p>You may think that all they need is an education in brain plasticity and that PMO (including even masturbation) acts like a virus in their brain programme to convince them they could never become hooked. I find society&rsquo;s failure to prevent our children from becoming addicted to internet porn and other drugs to be the most disturbing of all the many disturbing facets of addiction. I beg you not to be complacent in this matter. It is necessary to protect youngsters as their brain is more plastic at that age. I strongly urge you to read the YBOP book and educate yourself of the brain science. Even if you suspect your teenager might already be hooked, the book will provide excellent guidance to assist in gaining understanding for someone to escape.</p> <div class="footnotes" role="doc-endnotes"> <hr> <ol> @@ -3533,7 +3533,7 @@ Get out of the habit of envying PMOers and start seeing them as the miserable, p <p><strong>RC</strong> - reward circuits.&#160;<a href="#fnref:1" class="footnote-backref" role="doc-backlink">&#x21a9;&#xfe0e;</a></p> </li> <li id="fn:2"> -<p><strong>Regulation</strong> - Up and down regulation is a natural reactionary process of the brain to adjust receptors and or their neuro-transmitters based on the level that is present.&#160;<a href="#fnref:2" class="footnote-backref" role="doc-backlink">&#x21a9;&#xfe0e;</a></p> +<p><strong>Regulation</strong> - Up and down regulation is a natural reactionary process of the brain to adjust receptors and or their neurotransmitters based on the level that is present.&#160;<a href="#fnref:2" class="footnote-backref" role="doc-backlink">&#x21a9;&#xfe0e;</a></p> </li> </ol> </div> @@ -3758,7 +3758,7 @@ Get out of the habit of envying PMOers and start seeing them as the miserable, p <p>The fact that it took you twenty years to reach that state is irrelevant. So it is with PMOing. If I could immediately transfer you into your mind and body to give you a direct comparison on how you would feel having stopped internet porn for just three weeks, that is all I would need to do to persuade you to quit. You would think: “Will I really feel this good?” Or what it really amounts to: “Had I really sunk that low?” I emphasize that I don&rsquo;t just mean that you would feel healthier and have more energy but how you would also feel more confident and relaxed and better able to concentrate.</p> <p>As a teenager, I can remember rushing around just for the hell of it. I was interested in reading, I had set up a chemical lab, tried fixing (old CRT) TVs, dabbled with cooking etc. I was fascinated by scientists. Then I got attracted to makers and doers of the rag-to-riches lives of real people. I had the inner push and I knew I had it.</p> <p>I then was introduced to print porn, then came music TV channels, followed by static computer images. By this time I was permanently tired and lethargic. Then came internet porn of images and downloadable movies. I used to struggle to wake up at nine o&rsquo;clock in the morning. After my evening meal I would already be thinking about porn before going to bed, even when I had a girlfriend. Sex with her was a ‘chore’. But PMO with internet porn had all the novelty, shock, etc. No one can match that lure. And then the internet upped its game with tube sites, catalogued porn genres, ‘hearting’ favorites and all in lightning speed, high quality, no traces of downloads. Even the browsers went incognito, thoroughly helping me to cover my tracks. Reward with no pains.</p> -<p>By this time, the lack of energy, tiredness and everything related to it is nicely swept under the rug of ‘getting’ older. My friends and colleagues by this time are all living sedentary lifestyles. I hought this behaviour was normal. I believed that energy was the exclusive prerogative of children and teenagers, and that old age began in the early twenties. I did not notice that I was paying attention to my health in general by eating right - which they did not. But I did not notice that anomaly.</p> +<p>By this time, the lack of energy, tiredness and everything related to it is nicely swept under the rug of ‘getting’ older. My friends and colleagues by this time are all living sedentary lifestyles. I thought this behaviour was normal. I believed that energy was the exclusive prerogative of children and teenagers, and that old age began in the early twenties. I did not notice that I was paying attention to my health in general by eating right - which they did not. But I did not notice that anomaly.</p> <p>Shortly after I stopped PMO, I was relieved that this foggy and muggy feeling left me. For example, I can keep a steady gaze with my eyes on just about anything for a longer time. If I am looking into someone’s eyes it is even longer. However something truly marvellous and unexpected also happened. I started waking at seven o&rsquo;clock in the morning feeling completely rested and full of energy, actually wanting to exercise, jog and swim. I have read about a forty-eight year old who couldn&rsquo;t run a step or swim a stroke. The only sporting activities were confined to such dynamic pursuits as green bowling, affectionately referred to as “the old man&rsquo;s game,” and golf, for which he had to use a motorized cart. But after quitting PMO he started going to gym - not that it is necessary that everyone would - but still. Almost all us know that it&rsquo;s great to have energy and when you feel physically and mentally strong, it feels great to be alive.</p> <p>That is the point with PMOing - you are always debiting your energy. And in that process tampering with your brain codes of the reward circuit. Which again is going to make you miserable and vulnerable to stress and strain attacks. Unfortunately when you feel down with all of this you will seek a cigarette or alcohol or again porn. Unlike quitting smoking, where the return of your physical and mental health is only gradual, quitting PMO gives you excellent results from day one. Starting with energy. Then your mental programming to close the ‘water slides’ takes a bit of time. You need to kill the Little Monster - which will be explained in later chapters. Recovering your RC is nothing like as slow as the slide into the pit and if you are going through the trauma of the willpower method of quitting, any health or energy gains will be obliterated by the depression you will be going through. Unfortunately, I cannot immediately transfer you into your mind and body in three weeks&rsquo; time. But you can! You know instinctively that what I am telling you is correct. All you need to do is: USE YOUR IMAGINATION!</p> @@ -4028,7 +4028,7 @@ pleasure.”</em></p> <p>Every time I hear a porn addict trying to justify his addiction the message is, “Oh, it calms me. It helps me to relax.”</p> <p>On the Internet I read about a single dad whose 6 year old son would want to share his bed sometimes in the night after a scary movie yet the dad would refuse under some pretence so he can have his PMO session and edge for hours.</p> <p>Let me try a smoking analogy here&hellip; a couple of years ago, the adoption authorities threatened to prevent smokers from adopting children. A man rang up, irate. He said, “you are completely wrong. I can remember when I was a child, if I had a contentious matter to raise with my mother, I would wait until she lit a cigarette because she was more relaxed then.” Why couldn&rsquo;t he talk to his mother when she wasn&rsquo;t smoking a cigarette?</p> -<p>Why are PMOers so stressd when they are not getting their fix, even after a real sex with a real woman? I read about a guy who has 9&rsquo;s and 10&rsquo;s open for dating with him as he was in the advertising field. I am talking about dinner and stuff only - but he lost interest in those dinners as his Internet porn is far more ‘easy’ for him - no restaurant spending and no hearing a ‘no’ from his date at the end of an evening. Why would he bother when his little monster tells him about the low-risk high-reward scheme called PMO that is at his fingertips when he reaches home? Those real girls sure have competition.</p> +<p>Why are PMOers so stressed when they are not getting their fix, even after a real sex with a real woman? I read about a guy who has 9&rsquo;s and 10&rsquo;s open for dating with him as he was in the advertising field. I am talking about dinner and stuff only - but he lost interest in those dinners as his Internet porn is far more ‘easy’ for him - no restaurant spending and no hearing a ‘no’ from his date at the end of an evening. Why would he bother when his little monster tells him about the low-risk high-reward scheme called PMO that is at his fingertips when he reaches home? Those real girls sure have competition.</p> <p>Why are non-PMOers completely relaxed then? Why are PMOers not able to relax without a fix for a day or two? If you read about the experience of a PMOer taking the abstinence oath and quitting and you notice his struggle with the temptations. You can clearly see that they are not relaxed at all when they are not allowed to have the ‘only pleasure’ they are “entitled to enjoy.” They&rsquo;ve forgotten what it feels like to be completely relaxed. That&rsquo;s one of the many joys you have to come. The whole business of PMOing can be likened to a fly being caught in a pitcher plant. To begin with, the fly is eating the nectar. At some imperceptible stage the plant begins to eat the fly.</p> <p>Isn&rsquo;t it time you climbed out of that plant?</p> @@ -4251,9 +4251,9 @@ became addicted. However, the satisfaction is only temporary because in order to <p>We talk about internet porn being relaxing or giving satisfaction. But how can you be satisfied unless you were dissatisfied in the first place? Why don&rsquo;t non-PMOer suffer from this dissatisfied state and why, after a no-sex date, when the non-PMOers are completely relaxed, are PMOers completely unrelaxed until they have satisfied their &rsquo;little monster&rsquo;?</p> <h2 id="a-pleasure-or-crutch">A Pleasure or Crutch? <a class="anchor" href="#a-pleasure-or-crutch"> <span class="spanForHeader">¶</span> -</a></h2><p>Forgive me if I dwell on this subject for a moment. The main reason that PMOers find it difficult to quit is that they believe that they are giving up a genuine pleasure or crutch. It is absolutely essential to understand that you are giving up nothing whatsoever. The best way to understand the subtleties of the PMO trap is to compare it with eating. If we are in the habit of eating regular meals, we are not aware of being hungry between meals. Only if the meal is delayed are we aware of being hungry, and even then, there is no physical pain, just an empty, insecure feeling which we know as: &lsquo;I need to eat.&rsquo; And the process of satisfying our hunger is a very pleasantpastime.</p> +</a></h2><p>Forgive me if I dwell on this subject for a moment. The main reason that PMOers find it difficult to quit is that they believe that they are giving up a genuine pleasure or crutch. It is absolutely essential to understand that you are giving up nothing whatsoever. The best way to understand the subtleties of the PMO trap is to compare it with eating. If we are in the habit of eating regular meals, we are not aware of being hungry between meals. Only if the meal is delayed are we aware of being hungry, and even then, there is no physical pain, just an empty, insecure feeling which we know as: &lsquo;I need to eat.&rsquo; And the process of satisfying our hunger is a very pleasant pastime.</p> <p>PMOing appears to be almost identical. The empty, insecure feeling which we know as: &lsquo;wanting or needing an PMO orgasm’ is identical to a hunger for food, although one will not satisfy the other. Like hunger, there is no physical pain and the feeling is so imperceptible that we are not even aware of it between PMO sessions. It&rsquo;s only if we want to masturbate and aren&rsquo;t able to reach internet for porn that we become aware of any discomfort. But when we do PMO we feel satisfied.</p> -<p>It is this similarity to eating which helps to fool PMOers into believing that they receive some genuine pleasure. Some PMOers find it very difficult to grasp that there is no pleasure or crutch, whatsoever to PMO. Some argue: “How can you say there is no crutch? When I orgasm up then I&rsquo;llfeel less nervous than before.”</p> +<p>It is this similarity to eating which helps to fool PMOers into believing that they receive some genuine pleasure. Some PMOers find it very difficult to grasp that there is no pleasure or crutch, whatsoever to PMO. Some argue: “How can you say there is no crutch? When I orgasm up then I&rsquo;ll feel less nervous than before.”</p> <p>Although eating and PMOing appear to be very similar. In fact they are exact opposites:</p> <ol> <li>You eat to survive and to energize your life, whereas PMOing dims your mojo and cuts down your energy.</li> @@ -4379,7 +4379,7 @@ became addicted. However, the satisfaction is only temporary because in order to <p>All PMOers feel that something evil has got possession of them. In the early days it is a question of, “I am going to stop, not today but tomorrow.” Eventually we get to the stage where we think either that we haven&rsquo;t got the willpower or that there is something inherent in the whole PMO that we must have in order to enjoy life.</p> <p>As I said previously, the problem is not explaining why it is easy to stop; it is explaining why it is difficult. In fact, the real problem is explaining scientifically why anybody does it even after getting the insights on the neurological damages of addictions not limited to porn.</p> <p>The whole business of porn is an extraordinary enigma. One of the reasons we get on to it is because of the thousands of people are already into it, about 35% of the population approximately. Yet every one of them wishes he or she had not started in the first place, telling us that life is like driving in second gear. We cannot quite believe they are not enjoying it. We associate it with freedom or being “sex-educated” and work hard to become hooked ourselves. We then spend the rest of our lives telling others not to do it and trying to kick the habit ourselves.</p> -<p>We also spend the rest of our lives feeling hopeless and miserable. Time spent on porn can accumulate to a large percentage of our life in this planet! What do we do with that amount of time spent? We ‘educate’ ourselves with supranormal<sup id="fnref:1"><a href="#fn:1" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">1</a></sup> ‘material’ that makes us stupidly prefer and childishly long for these cold images - even when warm real ones are available. By the constant surge and drop of dopamine induced by PMO, we sentence ourselves to a lifetime of irritability, anger, frustration, stress, fatigue<sup id="fnref:2"><a href="#fn:2" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">2</a></sup>, PIED, hypofrontality etc. In short, it is a lifetime of slavery. It is logically and intuitively clear that amative sex (physical touch, feel, voice etc.) is the best part of sex and is even better (if Karezza<sup id="fnref:3"><a href="#fn:3" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">3</a></sup> is practised, although not necessary for the current purposes) than the propagative (orgasm) part, except when children are desired. So, when we use porn in the absence of the best part of sex we feel miserable and guilty.</p> +<p>We also spend the rest of our lives feeling hopeless and miserable. Time spent on porn can accumulate to a large percentage of our life in this planet! What do we do with that amount of time spent? We ‘educate’ ourselves with supranormal<sup id="fnref:1"><a href="#fn:1" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">1</a></sup> ‘material’ that makes us stupidly prefer and childishly long for these cold images - even when warm real ones are available. By the constant surge and drop of dopamine induced by PMO, we sentence ourselves to a lifetime of irritability, anger, frustration, stress, fatigue<sup id="fnref:2"><a href="#fn:2" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">2</a></sup>, PIED, hypofrontality etc. In short, it is a lifetime of slavery. It is logically and intuitively clear that amative sex (physical touch, feel, voice etc.) is the best part of sex and is even better (if Karezza<sup id="fnref:3"><a href="#fn:3" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">3</a></sup> is practiced, although not necessary for the current purposes) than the propagative (orgasm) part, except when children are desired. So, when we use porn in the absence of the best part of sex we feel miserable and guilty.</p> <p>In fact, all the reading about internet pornography&rsquo;s addictive capabilities and it’s destructive effects here and in other online sites makes us even more nervous and hopeless. When we are trying to cut down or stop, we end up feeling deprived. We wish we didn&rsquo;t have to. What sort of hobby is it that when you are doing it you wish you weren&rsquo;t, and when you are not doing it you crave for it? A lifetime of an otherwise intelligent, rational human being going through life in contempt.</p> <p>The PMOer despises himself, every time he has an unreliable erection, a fading penetration, reading about PIED and other stuff on the YBOP forum, every time he could not pull himself up to exercise after a daytime PMO, every PMO behind his or her trustfully asleep partner’s back, every time he sees his tired face and lifeless eyes in the restroom mirror.</p> <p>Having to go through life with these awful black shadows at the back of his mind, what does he get out of it? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! Pleasure? Enjoyment? Relaxation? A prop? A boost? All illusions, unless you consider the wearing of tight shoes to enjoy the removal of them as some sort of pleasure!</p> @@ -4468,9 +4468,9 @@ man and woman from performance based anxieties.&#160;<a href="#fnref: <span class="spanForHeader">¶</span> </a></h2><p>Perhaps I should begin by describing my competence for writing this book. No, I am not a doctor or a psychiatrist; my qualifications are far more appropriate. I spent thirty years of my life as a confirmed fapper. In the later years I used porn on a daily bases to get orgasm(s).During my life I had made a great number of attempts to stop. I never got past a full week of abstinence, and I was still climbing up the wall, with an “annoying alarm clock beeping” in my head called craving. With most PMOers, on the health side, it&rsquo;s a question of “ I&rsquo;ll stop before it happens to me.” I had reached the stage where I knew it has caused PIED, hypofrontality (inability to control and execute action towards a goal), irritability, lack of energy, soulless eyes, mental dryness, stress and pain in the lower back, genital irritations. It bothered me, but it still didn&rsquo;t stop me.</p> <p>I felt lack of enthusiasm to go to gym or just a walk even if it’s sunny outside or simple weight lifting at home either. I had reached the stage where I gave up even trying to stop. I found excuses in substitute methods (controlled use, safe porn, porn-diet and etc. discussed later) as advocated by sexologists, forum users and medical pros - who have no idea of its effect on brain chemistry and who are themselves fooled by their &rsquo;little monster&rsquo; (not devil or satan - we will talk about monsters later) . The novelty trap and shock value provided by internet porn delivered at home with a low risk high reward deal is something that they can’t even think of. They are still in the static playboy era. And the younger ones have buried their heads under the sand so they can still continue to PMO.</p> -<p>The worst part is it was not so much that I enjoyed the PMO. It was just doing it routinely, a chore - like slipping down the water slides, in fact there are brain water slides greased well by the neuro chemicals (DeltaFosB proteins made by dopamine which store emotion scripts for easy recall, will be discussing later). A simple cue such as a commercial, or a day to day stress that got ‘relieved’ temporarily by PMO is all it takes to complete the ride down the ‘waterslide’. Some time in their lives most PMOers have suffered from the illusion that they enjoy the ride, the novelty, the rush and of course the orgasm, but I never had that illusion.</p> +<p>The worst part is it was not so much that I enjoyed the PMO. It was just doing it routinely, a chore - like slipping down the water slides, in fact there are brain water slides greased well by the neurochemicals (DeltaFosB proteins made by dopamine which store emotion scripts for easy recall, will be discussing later). A simple cue such as a commercial, or a day to day stress that got ‘relieved’ temporarily by PMO is all it takes to complete the ride down the ‘waterslide’. Some time in their lives most PMOers have suffered from the illusion that they enjoy the ride, the novelty, the rush and of course the orgasm, but I never had that illusion.</p> <p>I have most times detested the porn, even when I liked the orgasm. But at all times I thought a release from PMO helped me to relax. It gave me courage and confidence, and I was always miserable when I tried to stop, never being able to visualize an enjoyable life without PMO. And so my PMO habit which had started before my marriage stayed with me during and after my marriage was over. I had experienced PIED but I blocked it out and found excuses , “it happens to every man”. Well it does of course - but &lsquo;it&rsquo; happened to me again and again. My penis, I found it difficult to get hard - when I am with real woman. Could it be because I had habituated it to work in limp mode? Later I found that it was hard for me to get hard even with porn.</p> -<p>My girlfriend gave a book by Dr David Burns - which I liked very much. I also practised the exercises and got interested in it. Through the book I came to know of Dr. Abraham Low and his books on rational therapy - it is now known as Recovery International. At the same time - my soon to be ex-wife also sent me to a therapist. I completed therapy - and was getting out of my mental rut and started a new beginning in my life. I continued my reading and self education from the above two authors and started to read about REBT and Dr. Albert Ellis. I poured into all of his books and got myself well trained in REBT. I still practice it on a daily bases. I do ABC write ups (and DE and F as well)<sup id="fnref:1"><a href="#fn:1" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">1</a></sup> and actively journal my daily endorsements. I keep my DML (daily mood logs) and Endorse documents in an online spreadsheet.</p> +<p>My girlfriend gave a book by Dr David Burns - which I liked very much. I also practiced the exercises and got interested in it. Through the book I came to know of Dr. Abraham Low and his books on rational therapy - it is now known as Recovery International. At the same time - my soon to be ex-wife also sent me to a therapist. I completed therapy - and was getting out of my mental rut and started a new beginning in my life. I continued my reading and self education from the above two authors and started to read about REBT and Dr. Albert Ellis. I poured into all of his books and got myself well trained in REBT. I still practice it on a daily bases. I do ABC write ups (and DE and F as well)<sup id="fnref:1"><a href="#fn:1" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">1</a></sup> and actively journal my daily endorsements. I keep my DML (daily mood logs) and Endorse documents in an online spreadsheet.</p> <p>I was able to spot my rigid beliefs, exaggerations, self-rating and low frustration tolerance and immediately self-talk myself to have healthy negative emotions when needed. I was able to get my alcohol intake under control, cigarettes were on and off, and I rode through divorces. The point is that I was able to go through them all with the lowest disturbance in any random test set of divorced 40 yr old guys. However, I was still struggling with the occasional excesses that are inevitable with alcohol. I absolutely hated the cigarettes. I was aware of my (and the little monster&rsquo;s) efforts to dig a hole and hide my head in sand about my daily PMO affecting my sex life. I had two incidences of PIED, and found substitutes in getting a fleshlight to simulate a female vagina and also as a form of stamina training.</p> <p>I then somehow landed on the Amazon page of Allen Carr’s best seller book on how to stop smoking. I used it to quit my smoking by the time I completed the reading. I felt so light and happy about quitting, how can I not be, I don’t have the feelings of misery and self-sacrifice. I don’t even feel the ‘resistance to temptations’ that most feel which taxes their will power. I know I found something that will work for me. Now, cigarettes are not the society’s favourite anyway and it carried a social stigma so that would be easy, right? I then challenged myself to my next problem, alcohol - where my frequent excesses were starting to bother me. I realized that I am finding excuses and minimizing my nasty and shameful drunken behaviours many times. I can also see I am using it as a crutch and also as pleasure - but more of the former. I guess that it has to do my nature of being melancholic. And yes, I was able to kick that habit as well.</p> @@ -4518,7 +4518,7 @@ Do not take anything for granted. Question not only what I tell you but also you <p>Some PUA<sup id="fnref:2"><a href="#fn:2" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">2</a></sup> experts say something like: PMO only once in four days “ Every PMOer knows that it is the one day that most PMOers will do twice as many as they usually do and sometimes they ‘close the shop’ to run home knowing that it is their final day of ‘fasting’ and because no one like being told what to do, particularly by people who dismiss PMOers as mere idiots and don&rsquo;t understand their problem.</p> <p>Because they don&rsquo;t completely understand PMOers themselves or how to make it easy for them to quit, their attitude is &lsquo;Try this method. If it doesn&rsquo;t work try another: Can you imagine if there were ten different ways of treating appendicitis? Nine of them cured 10 per cent of the patients, which means they killed 90 per cent of them and the tenth way cured 95 per cent. Imagine that knowledge of the tenth method had been available for free, but the vast majority of the medical profession was still recommending the other nine.</p> <p>Someone pointed out that doctors might well find themselves liable to a legal action for malpractice, by not advising their patients of the best way to quit. Ironically he was a great advocate of substituting methods (soft porn, solo, nude only, porn-diet etc), I try hard not to be vindictive, but I hope he becomes the first victim of his suggestion.</p> -<p>There are many websites that talk about the harms of PMO. You can find content that explains scientifically the harms of high speed internet porn on the brain. There is much literature and studies of neuro chemicals and the neuroplasticity of the brain and how it is affected by PMO. I read many comments on forums and blogs of how some were able to overcome the addiction. They might just as well have wasted it on trying to persuade their readers that motorbikes can kill you. Do they not realize that youngsters know that one ‘look’ at a tube site won&rsquo;t kill them and that no youngster ever expects to get hooked? The link between porn and PIED porn induced ED, has been established for some time now. Yet more youngsters are becoming hooked nowadays than ever before.</p> +<p>There are many websites that talk about the harms of PMO. You can find content that explains scientifically the harms of high speed internet porn on the brain. There is much literature and studies of neurochemicals and the neuroplasticity of the brain and how it is affected by PMO. I read many comments on forums and blogs of how some were able to overcome the addiction. They might just as well have wasted it on trying to persuade their readers that motorbikes can kill you. Do they not realize that youngsters know that one ‘look’ at a tube site won&rsquo;t kill them and that no youngster ever expects to get hooked? The link between porn and PIED porn induced ED, has been established for some time now. Yet more youngsters are becoming hooked nowadays than ever before.</p> <p>Youngsters don&rsquo;t need to be preached on the harms of PIED, hypofrontality, dopamine surge and the resulting cutting down of the associated dopamine receptors. Young and old PMOers tend to avoid such materials anyway. Practically every subscriber and reader of sites such as YBOP knows the brain science and the self-sabotage nature of PMO. I myself has seen the damages in my personal life. On a more serious note, two men in my own family had MO addiction ( porn was not prevalent 20 yrs ago) and I can see how they were peevish and melancholic when they felt deprived or guilty related to their MO. But that didn&rsquo;t prevent me from falling into the trap.</p> <p>However, the snowball won&rsquo;t become an avalanche until the medical profession and the media stop recommending methods that make it harder to quit and accept that EASYPEASYWAY is not just another method: BUT THE ONLY SENSIBLE METHOD TO USE! I don&rsquo;t expect you to believe me at this stage, but by the time you have finished the book, you will understand.</p> <p>Even the comparatively few failures that we have say something like: &lsquo;I haven&rsquo;t succeeded yet, but your way is better than any I know.&rsquo; If when you finish the book, you feel that you owe me a debt of gratitude, you can more than repay that debt. Not just by recommending EASYPEASYWAY to your friends, but whenever you see or read an article advocating some other method, email to them asking why they aren&rsquo;t advocating EASYWAY.</p> @@ -4574,8 +4574,7 @@ easy to quit.</p> <li>It takes willpower to quit</li> <li>Once an addict always an addict</li> <li>Telling PMOers that it will turn them into robots will make them to quit</li> -<li>Substitutes, particularly soft porn, reality porn, solo naked only porn etc.. and training toys -such as fleshlight, helps PMOers to regain their full unfading erections.</li> +<li>Substitutes, particularly soft porn, reality porn, solo naked only porn etc.. and training toys such as fleshlight, helps PMOers to regain their full unfading erections.</li> <li>All porn is same in their rate of addictiveness</li> <li>In particular, when I had dispelled the illusion that it is difficult to quit and that you have to go through a transitional period of misery in order to do so, I naively thought that the rest of diff --git a/new-site/public/tags/blog/index.xml b/new-site/public/tags/blog/index.xml index 71b42bda..d40012b7 100644 --- a/new-site/public/tags/blog/index.xml +++ b/new-site/public/tags/blog/index.xml @@ -3525,7 +3525,7 @@ Get out of the habit of envying PMOers and start seeing them as the miserable, p </blockquote> <p>Teenagers are generally more difficult to cure, not because they find it difficult to stop but because either they do not believe they are hooked or they are at the primary stage of the trap and suffer from the delusion that they will automatically have stopped before the secondary stage.</p> <p>I would like particularly to warn parents of children who loathe internet porn not to have a false sense of security. All children loathe the dark sides of porn until they become hooked. You did too at one time. Also do not be fooled by scare campaigns. The trap is the same as it always was. Children know that internet porn is supranormal stimuli but they also know that one ‘visit’ or ‘peek’ will not do it. At some stage they may be influenced by a girlfriend or boyfriend, school friend or work colleague.</p> -<p>You may think that all they need is an education in brain plasticity and that PMO (including even masturbation) acts like a virus in their brain programme to convince them they could never become hooked. I find society&rsquo;s failure to prevent our children from becoming addicted to internet porn and other drugs to be the most disturbing of all the many disturbing facets of addiction. I beg you not to be complacent in this matter. It is necessary to protect youngsters as their brain is more plastic at that age. I strongly urge you to read the YBOP book and educate yourself of the brain science. Even if you suspect your teenager might lready be hooked, the book will provide excellent guidance to assist in gaining understanding for someone to escape.</p> +<p>You may think that all they need is an education in brain plasticity and that PMO (including even masturbation) acts like a virus in their brain programme to convince them they could never become hooked. I find society&rsquo;s failure to prevent our children from becoming addicted to internet porn and other drugs to be the most disturbing of all the many disturbing facets of addiction. I beg you not to be complacent in this matter. It is necessary to protect youngsters as their brain is more plastic at that age. I strongly urge you to read the YBOP book and educate yourself of the brain science. Even if you suspect your teenager might already be hooked, the book will provide excellent guidance to assist in gaining understanding for someone to escape.</p> <div class="footnotes" role="doc-endnotes"> <hr> <ol> @@ -3533,7 +3533,7 @@ Get out of the habit of envying PMOers and start seeing them as the miserable, p <p><strong>RC</strong> - reward circuits.&#160;<a href="#fnref:1" class="footnote-backref" role="doc-backlink">&#x21a9;&#xfe0e;</a></p> </li> <li id="fn:2"> -<p><strong>Regulation</strong> - Up and down regulation is a natural reactionary process of the brain to adjust receptors and or their neuro-transmitters based on the level that is present.&#160;<a href="#fnref:2" class="footnote-backref" role="doc-backlink">&#x21a9;&#xfe0e;</a></p> +<p><strong>Regulation</strong> - Up and down regulation is a natural reactionary process of the brain to adjust receptors and or their neurotransmitters based on the level that is present.&#160;<a href="#fnref:2" class="footnote-backref" role="doc-backlink">&#x21a9;&#xfe0e;</a></p> </li> </ol> </div> @@ -3758,7 +3758,7 @@ Get out of the habit of envying PMOers and start seeing them as the miserable, p <p>The fact that it took you twenty years to reach that state is irrelevant. So it is with PMOing. If I could immediately transfer you into your mind and body to give you a direct comparison on how you would feel having stopped internet porn for just three weeks, that is all I would need to do to persuade you to quit. You would think: “Will I really feel this good?” Or what it really amounts to: “Had I really sunk that low?” I emphasize that I don&rsquo;t just mean that you would feel healthier and have more energy but how you would also feel more confident and relaxed and better able to concentrate.</p> <p>As a teenager, I can remember rushing around just for the hell of it. I was interested in reading, I had set up a chemical lab, tried fixing (old CRT) TVs, dabbled with cooking etc. I was fascinated by scientists. Then I got attracted to makers and doers of the rag-to-riches lives of real people. I had the inner push and I knew I had it.</p> <p>I then was introduced to print porn, then came music TV channels, followed by static computer images. By this time I was permanently tired and lethargic. Then came internet porn of images and downloadable movies. I used to struggle to wake up at nine o&rsquo;clock in the morning. After my evening meal I would already be thinking about porn before going to bed, even when I had a girlfriend. Sex with her was a ‘chore’. But PMO with internet porn had all the novelty, shock, etc. No one can match that lure. And then the internet upped its game with tube sites, catalogued porn genres, ‘hearting’ favorites and all in lightning speed, high quality, no traces of downloads. Even the browsers went incognito, thoroughly helping me to cover my tracks. Reward with no pains.</p> -<p>By this time, the lack of energy, tiredness and everything related to it is nicely swept under the rug of ‘getting’ older. My friends and colleagues by this time are all living sedentary lifestyles. I hought this behaviour was normal. I believed that energy was the exclusive prerogative of children and teenagers, and that old age began in the early twenties. I did not notice that I was paying attention to my health in general by eating right - which they did not. But I did not notice that anomaly.</p> +<p>By this time, the lack of energy, tiredness and everything related to it is nicely swept under the rug of ‘getting’ older. My friends and colleagues by this time are all living sedentary lifestyles. I thought this behaviour was normal. I believed that energy was the exclusive prerogative of children and teenagers, and that old age began in the early twenties. I did not notice that I was paying attention to my health in general by eating right - which they did not. But I did not notice that anomaly.</p> <p>Shortly after I stopped PMO, I was relieved that this foggy and muggy feeling left me. For example, I can keep a steady gaze with my eyes on just about anything for a longer time. If I am looking into someone’s eyes it is even longer. However something truly marvellous and unexpected also happened. I started waking at seven o&rsquo;clock in the morning feeling completely rested and full of energy, actually wanting to exercise, jog and swim. I have read about a forty-eight year old who couldn&rsquo;t run a step or swim a stroke. The only sporting activities were confined to such dynamic pursuits as green bowling, affectionately referred to as “the old man&rsquo;s game,” and golf, for which he had to use a motorized cart. But after quitting PMO he started going to gym - not that it is necessary that everyone would - but still. Almost all us know that it&rsquo;s great to have energy and when you feel physically and mentally strong, it feels great to be alive.</p> <p>That is the point with PMOing - you are always debiting your energy. And in that process tampering with your brain codes of the reward circuit. Which again is going to make you miserable and vulnerable to stress and strain attacks. Unfortunately when you feel down with all of this you will seek a cigarette or alcohol or again porn. Unlike quitting smoking, where the return of your physical and mental health is only gradual, quitting PMO gives you excellent results from day one. Starting with energy. Then your mental programming to close the ‘water slides’ takes a bit of time. You need to kill the Little Monster - which will be explained in later chapters. Recovering your RC is nothing like as slow as the slide into the pit and if you are going through the trauma of the willpower method of quitting, any health or energy gains will be obliterated by the depression you will be going through. Unfortunately, I cannot immediately transfer you into your mind and body in three weeks&rsquo; time. But you can! You know instinctively that what I am telling you is correct. All you need to do is: USE YOUR IMAGINATION!</p> @@ -4028,7 +4028,7 @@ pleasure.”</em></p> <p>Every time I hear a porn addict trying to justify his addiction the message is, “Oh, it calms me. It helps me to relax.”</p> <p>On the Internet I read about a single dad whose 6 year old son would want to share his bed sometimes in the night after a scary movie yet the dad would refuse under some pretence so he can have his PMO session and edge for hours.</p> <p>Let me try a smoking analogy here&hellip; a couple of years ago, the adoption authorities threatened to prevent smokers from adopting children. A man rang up, irate. He said, “you are completely wrong. I can remember when I was a child, if I had a contentious matter to raise with my mother, I would wait until she lit a cigarette because she was more relaxed then.” Why couldn&rsquo;t he talk to his mother when she wasn&rsquo;t smoking a cigarette?</p> -<p>Why are PMOers so stressd when they are not getting their fix, even after a real sex with a real woman? I read about a guy who has 9&rsquo;s and 10&rsquo;s open for dating with him as he was in the advertising field. I am talking about dinner and stuff only - but he lost interest in those dinners as his Internet porn is far more ‘easy’ for him - no restaurant spending and no hearing a ‘no’ from his date at the end of an evening. Why would he bother when his little monster tells him about the low-risk high-reward scheme called PMO that is at his fingertips when he reaches home? Those real girls sure have competition.</p> +<p>Why are PMOers so stressed when they are not getting their fix, even after a real sex with a real woman? I read about a guy who has 9&rsquo;s and 10&rsquo;s open for dating with him as he was in the advertising field. I am talking about dinner and stuff only - but he lost interest in those dinners as his Internet porn is far more ‘easy’ for him - no restaurant spending and no hearing a ‘no’ from his date at the end of an evening. Why would he bother when his little monster tells him about the low-risk high-reward scheme called PMO that is at his fingertips when he reaches home? Those real girls sure have competition.</p> <p>Why are non-PMOers completely relaxed then? Why are PMOers not able to relax without a fix for a day or two? If you read about the experience of a PMOer taking the abstinence oath and quitting and you notice his struggle with the temptations. You can clearly see that they are not relaxed at all when they are not allowed to have the ‘only pleasure’ they are “entitled to enjoy.” They&rsquo;ve forgotten what it feels like to be completely relaxed. That&rsquo;s one of the many joys you have to come. The whole business of PMOing can be likened to a fly being caught in a pitcher plant. To begin with, the fly is eating the nectar. At some imperceptible stage the plant begins to eat the fly.</p> <p>Isn&rsquo;t it time you climbed out of that plant?</p> @@ -4251,9 +4251,9 @@ became addicted. However, the satisfaction is only temporary because in order to <p>We talk about internet porn being relaxing or giving satisfaction. But how can you be satisfied unless you were dissatisfied in the first place? Why don&rsquo;t non-PMOer suffer from this dissatisfied state and why, after a no-sex date, when the non-PMOers are completely relaxed, are PMOers completely unrelaxed until they have satisfied their &rsquo;little monster&rsquo;?</p> <h2 id="a-pleasure-or-crutch">A Pleasure or Crutch? <a class="anchor" href="#a-pleasure-or-crutch"> <span class="spanForHeader">¶</span> -</a></h2><p>Forgive me if I dwell on this subject for a moment. The main reason that PMOers find it difficult to quit is that they believe that they are giving up a genuine pleasure or crutch. It is absolutely essential to understand that you are giving up nothing whatsoever. The best way to understand the subtleties of the PMO trap is to compare it with eating. If we are in the habit of eating regular meals, we are not aware of being hungry between meals. Only if the meal is delayed are we aware of being hungry, and even then, there is no physical pain, just an empty, insecure feeling which we know as: &lsquo;I need to eat.&rsquo; And the process of satisfying our hunger is a very pleasantpastime.</p> +</a></h2><p>Forgive me if I dwell on this subject for a moment. The main reason that PMOers find it difficult to quit is that they believe that they are giving up a genuine pleasure or crutch. It is absolutely essential to understand that you are giving up nothing whatsoever. The best way to understand the subtleties of the PMO trap is to compare it with eating. If we are in the habit of eating regular meals, we are not aware of being hungry between meals. Only if the meal is delayed are we aware of being hungry, and even then, there is no physical pain, just an empty, insecure feeling which we know as: &lsquo;I need to eat.&rsquo; And the process of satisfying our hunger is a very pleasant pastime.</p> <p>PMOing appears to be almost identical. The empty, insecure feeling which we know as: &lsquo;wanting or needing an PMO orgasm’ is identical to a hunger for food, although one will not satisfy the other. Like hunger, there is no physical pain and the feeling is so imperceptible that we are not even aware of it between PMO sessions. It&rsquo;s only if we want to masturbate and aren&rsquo;t able to reach internet for porn that we become aware of any discomfort. But when we do PMO we feel satisfied.</p> -<p>It is this similarity to eating which helps to fool PMOers into believing that they receive some genuine pleasure. Some PMOers find it very difficult to grasp that there is no pleasure or crutch, whatsoever to PMO. Some argue: “How can you say there is no crutch? When I orgasm up then I&rsquo;llfeel less nervous than before.”</p> +<p>It is this similarity to eating which helps to fool PMOers into believing that they receive some genuine pleasure. Some PMOers find it very difficult to grasp that there is no pleasure or crutch, whatsoever to PMO. Some argue: “How can you say there is no crutch? When I orgasm up then I&rsquo;ll feel less nervous than before.”</p> <p>Although eating and PMOing appear to be very similar. In fact they are exact opposites:</p> <ol> <li>You eat to survive and to energize your life, whereas PMOing dims your mojo and cuts down your energy.</li> @@ -4379,7 +4379,7 @@ became addicted. However, the satisfaction is only temporary because in order to <p>All PMOers feel that something evil has got possession of them. In the early days it is a question of, “I am going to stop, not today but tomorrow.” Eventually we get to the stage where we think either that we haven&rsquo;t got the willpower or that there is something inherent in the whole PMO that we must have in order to enjoy life.</p> <p>As I said previously, the problem is not explaining why it is easy to stop; it is explaining why it is difficult. In fact, the real problem is explaining scientifically why anybody does it even after getting the insights on the neurological damages of addictions not limited to porn.</p> <p>The whole business of porn is an extraordinary enigma. One of the reasons we get on to it is because of the thousands of people are already into it, about 35% of the population approximately. Yet every one of them wishes he or she had not started in the first place, telling us that life is like driving in second gear. We cannot quite believe they are not enjoying it. We associate it with freedom or being “sex-educated” and work hard to become hooked ourselves. We then spend the rest of our lives telling others not to do it and trying to kick the habit ourselves.</p> -<p>We also spend the rest of our lives feeling hopeless and miserable. Time spent on porn can accumulate to a large percentage of our life in this planet! What do we do with that amount of time spent? We ‘educate’ ourselves with supranormal<sup id="fnref:1"><a href="#fn:1" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">1</a></sup> ‘material’ that makes us stupidly prefer and childishly long for these cold images - even when warm real ones are available. By the constant surge and drop of dopamine induced by PMO, we sentence ourselves to a lifetime of irritability, anger, frustration, stress, fatigue<sup id="fnref:2"><a href="#fn:2" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">2</a></sup>, PIED, hypofrontality etc. In short, it is a lifetime of slavery. It is logically and intuitively clear that amative sex (physical touch, feel, voice etc.) is the best part of sex and is even better (if Karezza<sup id="fnref:3"><a href="#fn:3" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">3</a></sup> is practised, although not necessary for the current purposes) than the propagative (orgasm) part, except when children are desired. So, when we use porn in the absence of the best part of sex we feel miserable and guilty.</p> +<p>We also spend the rest of our lives feeling hopeless and miserable. Time spent on porn can accumulate to a large percentage of our life in this planet! What do we do with that amount of time spent? We ‘educate’ ourselves with supranormal<sup id="fnref:1"><a href="#fn:1" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">1</a></sup> ‘material’ that makes us stupidly prefer and childishly long for these cold images - even when warm real ones are available. By the constant surge and drop of dopamine induced by PMO, we sentence ourselves to a lifetime of irritability, anger, frustration, stress, fatigue<sup id="fnref:2"><a href="#fn:2" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">2</a></sup>, PIED, hypofrontality etc. In short, it is a lifetime of slavery. It is logically and intuitively clear that amative sex (physical touch, feel, voice etc.) is the best part of sex and is even better (if Karezza<sup id="fnref:3"><a href="#fn:3" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">3</a></sup> is practiced, although not necessary for the current purposes) than the propagative (orgasm) part, except when children are desired. So, when we use porn in the absence of the best part of sex we feel miserable and guilty.</p> <p>In fact, all the reading about internet pornography&rsquo;s addictive capabilities and it’s destructive effects here and in other online sites makes us even more nervous and hopeless. When we are trying to cut down or stop, we end up feeling deprived. We wish we didn&rsquo;t have to. What sort of hobby is it that when you are doing it you wish you weren&rsquo;t, and when you are not doing it you crave for it? A lifetime of an otherwise intelligent, rational human being going through life in contempt.</p> <p>The PMOer despises himself, every time he has an unreliable erection, a fading penetration, reading about PIED and other stuff on the YBOP forum, every time he could not pull himself up to exercise after a daytime PMO, every PMO behind his or her trustfully asleep partner’s back, every time he sees his tired face and lifeless eyes in the restroom mirror.</p> <p>Having to go through life with these awful black shadows at the back of his mind, what does he get out of it? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! Pleasure? Enjoyment? Relaxation? A prop? A boost? All illusions, unless you consider the wearing of tight shoes to enjoy the removal of them as some sort of pleasure!</p> @@ -4468,9 +4468,9 @@ man and woman from performance based anxieties.&#160;<a href="#fnref: <span class="spanForHeader">¶</span> </a></h2><p>Perhaps I should begin by describing my competence for writing this book. No, I am not a doctor or a psychiatrist; my qualifications are far more appropriate. I spent thirty years of my life as a confirmed fapper. In the later years I used porn on a daily bases to get orgasm(s).During my life I had made a great number of attempts to stop. I never got past a full week of abstinence, and I was still climbing up the wall, with an “annoying alarm clock beeping” in my head called craving. With most PMOers, on the health side, it&rsquo;s a question of “ I&rsquo;ll stop before it happens to me.” I had reached the stage where I knew it has caused PIED, hypofrontality (inability to control and execute action towards a goal), irritability, lack of energy, soulless eyes, mental dryness, stress and pain in the lower back, genital irritations. It bothered me, but it still didn&rsquo;t stop me.</p> <p>I felt lack of enthusiasm to go to gym or just a walk even if it’s sunny outside or simple weight lifting at home either. I had reached the stage where I gave up even trying to stop. I found excuses in substitute methods (controlled use, safe porn, porn-diet and etc. discussed later) as advocated by sexologists, forum users and medical pros - who have no idea of its effect on brain chemistry and who are themselves fooled by their &rsquo;little monster&rsquo; (not devil or satan - we will talk about monsters later) . The novelty trap and shock value provided by internet porn delivered at home with a low risk high reward deal is something that they can’t even think of. They are still in the static playboy era. And the younger ones have buried their heads under the sand so they can still continue to PMO.</p> -<p>The worst part is it was not so much that I enjoyed the PMO. It was just doing it routinely, a chore - like slipping down the water slides, in fact there are brain water slides greased well by the neuro chemicals (DeltaFosB proteins made by dopamine which store emotion scripts for easy recall, will be discussing later). A simple cue such as a commercial, or a day to day stress that got ‘relieved’ temporarily by PMO is all it takes to complete the ride down the ‘waterslide’. Some time in their lives most PMOers have suffered from the illusion that they enjoy the ride, the novelty, the rush and of course the orgasm, but I never had that illusion.</p> +<p>The worst part is it was not so much that I enjoyed the PMO. It was just doing it routinely, a chore - like slipping down the water slides, in fact there are brain water slides greased well by the neurochemicals (DeltaFosB proteins made by dopamine which store emotion scripts for easy recall, will be discussing later). A simple cue such as a commercial, or a day to day stress that got ‘relieved’ temporarily by PMO is all it takes to complete the ride down the ‘waterslide’. Some time in their lives most PMOers have suffered from the illusion that they enjoy the ride, the novelty, the rush and of course the orgasm, but I never had that illusion.</p> <p>I have most times detested the porn, even when I liked the orgasm. But at all times I thought a release from PMO helped me to relax. It gave me courage and confidence, and I was always miserable when I tried to stop, never being able to visualize an enjoyable life without PMO. And so my PMO habit which had started before my marriage stayed with me during and after my marriage was over. I had experienced PIED but I blocked it out and found excuses , “it happens to every man”. Well it does of course - but &lsquo;it&rsquo; happened to me again and again. My penis, I found it difficult to get hard - when I am with real woman. Could it be because I had habituated it to work in limp mode? Later I found that it was hard for me to get hard even with porn.</p> -<p>My girlfriend gave a book by Dr David Burns - which I liked very much. I also practised the exercises and got interested in it. Through the book I came to know of Dr. Abraham Low and his books on rational therapy - it is now known as Recovery International. At the same time - my soon to be ex-wife also sent me to a therapist. I completed therapy - and was getting out of my mental rut and started a new beginning in my life. I continued my reading and self education from the above two authors and started to read about REBT and Dr. Albert Ellis. I poured into all of his books and got myself well trained in REBT. I still practice it on a daily bases. I do ABC write ups (and DE and F as well)<sup id="fnref:1"><a href="#fn:1" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">1</a></sup> and actively journal my daily endorsements. I keep my DML (daily mood logs) and Endorse documents in an online spreadsheet.</p> +<p>My girlfriend gave a book by Dr David Burns - which I liked very much. I also practiced the exercises and got interested in it. Through the book I came to know of Dr. Abraham Low and his books on rational therapy - it is now known as Recovery International. At the same time - my soon to be ex-wife also sent me to a therapist. I completed therapy - and was getting out of my mental rut and started a new beginning in my life. I continued my reading and self education from the above two authors and started to read about REBT and Dr. Albert Ellis. I poured into all of his books and got myself well trained in REBT. I still practice it on a daily bases. I do ABC write ups (and DE and F as well)<sup id="fnref:1"><a href="#fn:1" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">1</a></sup> and actively journal my daily endorsements. I keep my DML (daily mood logs) and Endorse documents in an online spreadsheet.</p> <p>I was able to spot my rigid beliefs, exaggerations, self-rating and low frustration tolerance and immediately self-talk myself to have healthy negative emotions when needed. I was able to get my alcohol intake under control, cigarettes were on and off, and I rode through divorces. The point is that I was able to go through them all with the lowest disturbance in any random test set of divorced 40 yr old guys. However, I was still struggling with the occasional excesses that are inevitable with alcohol. I absolutely hated the cigarettes. I was aware of my (and the little monster&rsquo;s) efforts to dig a hole and hide my head in sand about my daily PMO affecting my sex life. I had two incidences of PIED, and found substitutes in getting a fleshlight to simulate a female vagina and also as a form of stamina training.</p> <p>I then somehow landed on the Amazon page of Allen Carr’s best seller book on how to stop smoking. I used it to quit my smoking by the time I completed the reading. I felt so light and happy about quitting, how can I not be, I don’t have the feelings of misery and self-sacrifice. I don’t even feel the ‘resistance to temptations’ that most feel which taxes their will power. I know I found something that will work for me. Now, cigarettes are not the society’s favourite anyway and it carried a social stigma so that would be easy, right? I then challenged myself to my next problem, alcohol - where my frequent excesses were starting to bother me. I realized that I am finding excuses and minimizing my nasty and shameful drunken behaviours many times. I can also see I am using it as a crutch and also as pleasure - but more of the former. I guess that it has to do my nature of being melancholic. And yes, I was able to kick that habit as well.</p> @@ -4518,7 +4518,7 @@ Do not take anything for granted. Question not only what I tell you but also you <p>Some PUA<sup id="fnref:2"><a href="#fn:2" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">2</a></sup> experts say something like: PMO only once in four days “ Every PMOer knows that it is the one day that most PMOers will do twice as many as they usually do and sometimes they ‘close the shop’ to run home knowing that it is their final day of ‘fasting’ and because no one like being told what to do, particularly by people who dismiss PMOers as mere idiots and don&rsquo;t understand their problem.</p> <p>Because they don&rsquo;t completely understand PMOers themselves or how to make it easy for them to quit, their attitude is &lsquo;Try this method. If it doesn&rsquo;t work try another: Can you imagine if there were ten different ways of treating appendicitis? Nine of them cured 10 per cent of the patients, which means they killed 90 per cent of them and the tenth way cured 95 per cent. Imagine that knowledge of the tenth method had been available for free, but the vast majority of the medical profession was still recommending the other nine.</p> <p>Someone pointed out that doctors might well find themselves liable to a legal action for malpractice, by not advising their patients of the best way to quit. Ironically he was a great advocate of substituting methods (soft porn, solo, nude only, porn-diet etc), I try hard not to be vindictive, but I hope he becomes the first victim of his suggestion.</p> -<p>There are many websites that talk about the harms of PMO. You can find content that explains scientifically the harms of high speed internet porn on the brain. There is much literature and studies of neuro chemicals and the neuroplasticity of the brain and how it is affected by PMO. I read many comments on forums and blogs of how some were able to overcome the addiction. They might just as well have wasted it on trying to persuade their readers that motorbikes can kill you. Do they not realize that youngsters know that one ‘look’ at a tube site won&rsquo;t kill them and that no youngster ever expects to get hooked? The link between porn and PIED porn induced ED, has been established for some time now. Yet more youngsters are becoming hooked nowadays than ever before.</p> +<p>There are many websites that talk about the harms of PMO. You can find content that explains scientifically the harms of high speed internet porn on the brain. There is much literature and studies of neurochemicals and the neuroplasticity of the brain and how it is affected by PMO. I read many comments on forums and blogs of how some were able to overcome the addiction. They might just as well have wasted it on trying to persuade their readers that motorbikes can kill you. Do they not realize that youngsters know that one ‘look’ at a tube site won&rsquo;t kill them and that no youngster ever expects to get hooked? The link between porn and PIED porn induced ED, has been established for some time now. Yet more youngsters are becoming hooked nowadays than ever before.</p> <p>Youngsters don&rsquo;t need to be preached on the harms of PIED, hypofrontality, dopamine surge and the resulting cutting down of the associated dopamine receptors. Young and old PMOers tend to avoid such materials anyway. Practically every subscriber and reader of sites such as YBOP knows the brain science and the self-sabotage nature of PMO. I myself has seen the damages in my personal life. On a more serious note, two men in my own family had MO addiction ( porn was not prevalent 20 yrs ago) and I can see how they were peevish and melancholic when they felt deprived or guilty related to their MO. But that didn&rsquo;t prevent me from falling into the trap.</p> <p>However, the snowball won&rsquo;t become an avalanche until the medical profession and the media stop recommending methods that make it harder to quit and accept that EASYPEASYWAY is not just another method: BUT THE ONLY SENSIBLE METHOD TO USE! I don&rsquo;t expect you to believe me at this stage, but by the time you have finished the book, you will understand.</p> <p>Even the comparatively few failures that we have say something like: &lsquo;I haven&rsquo;t succeeded yet, but your way is better than any I know.&rsquo; If when you finish the book, you feel that you owe me a debt of gratitude, you can more than repay that debt. Not just by recommending EASYPEASYWAY to your friends, but whenever you see or read an article advocating some other method, email to them asking why they aren&rsquo;t advocating EASYWAY.</p> @@ -4574,8 +4574,7 @@ easy to quit.</p> <li>It takes willpower to quit</li> <li>Once an addict always an addict</li> <li>Telling PMOers that it will turn them into robots will make them to quit</li> -<li>Substitutes, particularly soft porn, reality porn, solo naked only porn etc.. and training toys -such as fleshlight, helps PMOers to regain their full unfading erections.</li> +<li>Substitutes, particularly soft porn, reality porn, solo naked only porn etc.. and training toys such as fleshlight, helps PMOers to regain their full unfading erections.</li> <li>All porn is same in their rate of addictiveness</li> <li>In particular, when I had dispelled the illusion that it is difficult to quit and that you have to go through a transitional period of misery in order to do so, I naively thought that the rest of diff --git a/new-site/public/tags/hackbook/index.xml b/new-site/public/tags/hackbook/index.xml index 153f8f2f..89ebcde1 100644 --- a/new-site/public/tags/hackbook/index.xml +++ b/new-site/public/tags/hackbook/index.xml @@ -3525,7 +3525,7 @@ Get out of the habit of envying PMOers and start seeing them as the miserable, p </blockquote> <p>Teenagers are generally more difficult to cure, not because they find it difficult to stop but because either they do not believe they are hooked or they are at the primary stage of the trap and suffer from the delusion that they will automatically have stopped before the secondary stage.</p> <p>I would like particularly to warn parents of children who loathe internet porn not to have a false sense of security. All children loathe the dark sides of porn until they become hooked. You did too at one time. Also do not be fooled by scare campaigns. The trap is the same as it always was. Children know that internet porn is supranormal stimuli but they also know that one ‘visit’ or ‘peek’ will not do it. At some stage they may be influenced by a girlfriend or boyfriend, school friend or work colleague.</p> -<p>You may think that all they need is an education in brain plasticity and that PMO (including even masturbation) acts like a virus in their brain programme to convince them they could never become hooked. I find society&rsquo;s failure to prevent our children from becoming addicted to internet porn and other drugs to be the most disturbing of all the many disturbing facets of addiction. I beg you not to be complacent in this matter. It is necessary to protect youngsters as their brain is more plastic at that age. I strongly urge you to read the YBOP book and educate yourself of the brain science. Even if you suspect your teenager might lready be hooked, the book will provide excellent guidance to assist in gaining understanding for someone to escape.</p> +<p>You may think that all they need is an education in brain plasticity and that PMO (including even masturbation) acts like a virus in their brain programme to convince them they could never become hooked. I find society&rsquo;s failure to prevent our children from becoming addicted to internet porn and other drugs to be the most disturbing of all the many disturbing facets of addiction. I beg you not to be complacent in this matter. It is necessary to protect youngsters as their brain is more plastic at that age. I strongly urge you to read the YBOP book and educate yourself of the brain science. Even if you suspect your teenager might already be hooked, the book will provide excellent guidance to assist in gaining understanding for someone to escape.</p> <div class="footnotes" role="doc-endnotes"> <hr> <ol> @@ -3533,7 +3533,7 @@ Get out of the habit of envying PMOers and start seeing them as the miserable, p <p><strong>RC</strong> - reward circuits.&#160;<a href="#fnref:1" class="footnote-backref" role="doc-backlink">&#x21a9;&#xfe0e;</a></p> </li> <li id="fn:2"> -<p><strong>Regulation</strong> - Up and down regulation is a natural reactionary process of the brain to adjust receptors and or their neuro-transmitters based on the level that is present.&#160;<a href="#fnref:2" class="footnote-backref" role="doc-backlink">&#x21a9;&#xfe0e;</a></p> +<p><strong>Regulation</strong> - Up and down regulation is a natural reactionary process of the brain to adjust receptors and or their neurotransmitters based on the level that is present.&#160;<a href="#fnref:2" class="footnote-backref" role="doc-backlink">&#x21a9;&#xfe0e;</a></p> </li> </ol> </div> @@ -3758,7 +3758,7 @@ Get out of the habit of envying PMOers and start seeing them as the miserable, p <p>The fact that it took you twenty years to reach that state is irrelevant. So it is with PMOing. If I could immediately transfer you into your mind and body to give you a direct comparison on how you would feel having stopped internet porn for just three weeks, that is all I would need to do to persuade you to quit. You would think: “Will I really feel this good?” Or what it really amounts to: “Had I really sunk that low?” I emphasize that I don&rsquo;t just mean that you would feel healthier and have more energy but how you would also feel more confident and relaxed and better able to concentrate.</p> <p>As a teenager, I can remember rushing around just for the hell of it. I was interested in reading, I had set up a chemical lab, tried fixing (old CRT) TVs, dabbled with cooking etc. I was fascinated by scientists. Then I got attracted to makers and doers of the rag-to-riches lives of real people. I had the inner push and I knew I had it.</p> <p>I then was introduced to print porn, then came music TV channels, followed by static computer images. By this time I was permanently tired and lethargic. Then came internet porn of images and downloadable movies. I used to struggle to wake up at nine o&rsquo;clock in the morning. After my evening meal I would already be thinking about porn before going to bed, even when I had a girlfriend. Sex with her was a ‘chore’. But PMO with internet porn had all the novelty, shock, etc. No one can match that lure. And then the internet upped its game with tube sites, catalogued porn genres, ‘hearting’ favorites and all in lightning speed, high quality, no traces of downloads. Even the browsers went incognito, thoroughly helping me to cover my tracks. Reward with no pains.</p> -<p>By this time, the lack of energy, tiredness and everything related to it is nicely swept under the rug of ‘getting’ older. My friends and colleagues by this time are all living sedentary lifestyles. I hought this behaviour was normal. I believed that energy was the exclusive prerogative of children and teenagers, and that old age began in the early twenties. I did not notice that I was paying attention to my health in general by eating right - which they did not. But I did not notice that anomaly.</p> +<p>By this time, the lack of energy, tiredness and everything related to it is nicely swept under the rug of ‘getting’ older. My friends and colleagues by this time are all living sedentary lifestyles. I thought this behaviour was normal. I believed that energy was the exclusive prerogative of children and teenagers, and that old age began in the early twenties. I did not notice that I was paying attention to my health in general by eating right - which they did not. But I did not notice that anomaly.</p> <p>Shortly after I stopped PMO, I was relieved that this foggy and muggy feeling left me. For example, I can keep a steady gaze with my eyes on just about anything for a longer time. If I am looking into someone’s eyes it is even longer. However something truly marvellous and unexpected also happened. I started waking at seven o&rsquo;clock in the morning feeling completely rested and full of energy, actually wanting to exercise, jog and swim. I have read about a forty-eight year old who couldn&rsquo;t run a step or swim a stroke. The only sporting activities were confined to such dynamic pursuits as green bowling, affectionately referred to as “the old man&rsquo;s game,” and golf, for which he had to use a motorized cart. But after quitting PMO he started going to gym - not that it is necessary that everyone would - but still. Almost all us know that it&rsquo;s great to have energy and when you feel physically and mentally strong, it feels great to be alive.</p> <p>That is the point with PMOing - you are always debiting your energy. And in that process tampering with your brain codes of the reward circuit. Which again is going to make you miserable and vulnerable to stress and strain attacks. Unfortunately when you feel down with all of this you will seek a cigarette or alcohol or again porn. Unlike quitting smoking, where the return of your physical and mental health is only gradual, quitting PMO gives you excellent results from day one. Starting with energy. Then your mental programming to close the ‘water slides’ takes a bit of time. You need to kill the Little Monster - which will be explained in later chapters. Recovering your RC is nothing like as slow as the slide into the pit and if you are going through the trauma of the willpower method of quitting, any health or energy gains will be obliterated by the depression you will be going through. Unfortunately, I cannot immediately transfer you into your mind and body in three weeks&rsquo; time. But you can! You know instinctively that what I am telling you is correct. All you need to do is: USE YOUR IMAGINATION!</p> @@ -4028,7 +4028,7 @@ pleasure.”</em></p> <p>Every time I hear a porn addict trying to justify his addiction the message is, “Oh, it calms me. It helps me to relax.”</p> <p>On the Internet I read about a single dad whose 6 year old son would want to share his bed sometimes in the night after a scary movie yet the dad would refuse under some pretence so he can have his PMO session and edge for hours.</p> <p>Let me try a smoking analogy here&hellip; a couple of years ago, the adoption authorities threatened to prevent smokers from adopting children. A man rang up, irate. He said, “you are completely wrong. I can remember when I was a child, if I had a contentious matter to raise with my mother, I would wait until she lit a cigarette because she was more relaxed then.” Why couldn&rsquo;t he talk to his mother when she wasn&rsquo;t smoking a cigarette?</p> -<p>Why are PMOers so stressd when they are not getting their fix, even after a real sex with a real woman? I read about a guy who has 9&rsquo;s and 10&rsquo;s open for dating with him as he was in the advertising field. I am talking about dinner and stuff only - but he lost interest in those dinners as his Internet porn is far more ‘easy’ for him - no restaurant spending and no hearing a ‘no’ from his date at the end of an evening. Why would he bother when his little monster tells him about the low-risk high-reward scheme called PMO that is at his fingertips when he reaches home? Those real girls sure have competition.</p> +<p>Why are PMOers so stressed when they are not getting their fix, even after a real sex with a real woman? I read about a guy who has 9&rsquo;s and 10&rsquo;s open for dating with him as he was in the advertising field. I am talking about dinner and stuff only - but he lost interest in those dinners as his Internet porn is far more ‘easy’ for him - no restaurant spending and no hearing a ‘no’ from his date at the end of an evening. Why would he bother when his little monster tells him about the low-risk high-reward scheme called PMO that is at his fingertips when he reaches home? Those real girls sure have competition.</p> <p>Why are non-PMOers completely relaxed then? Why are PMOers not able to relax without a fix for a day or two? If you read about the experience of a PMOer taking the abstinence oath and quitting and you notice his struggle with the temptations. You can clearly see that they are not relaxed at all when they are not allowed to have the ‘only pleasure’ they are “entitled to enjoy.” They&rsquo;ve forgotten what it feels like to be completely relaxed. That&rsquo;s one of the many joys you have to come. The whole business of PMOing can be likened to a fly being caught in a pitcher plant. To begin with, the fly is eating the nectar. At some imperceptible stage the plant begins to eat the fly.</p> <p>Isn&rsquo;t it time you climbed out of that plant?</p> @@ -4251,9 +4251,9 @@ became addicted. However, the satisfaction is only temporary because in order to <p>We talk about internet porn being relaxing or giving satisfaction. But how can you be satisfied unless you were dissatisfied in the first place? Why don&rsquo;t non-PMOer suffer from this dissatisfied state and why, after a no-sex date, when the non-PMOers are completely relaxed, are PMOers completely unrelaxed until they have satisfied their &rsquo;little monster&rsquo;?</p> <h2 id="a-pleasure-or-crutch">A Pleasure or Crutch? <a class="anchor" href="#a-pleasure-or-crutch"> <span class="spanForHeader">¶</span> -</a></h2><p>Forgive me if I dwell on this subject for a moment. The main reason that PMOers find it difficult to quit is that they believe that they are giving up a genuine pleasure or crutch. It is absolutely essential to understand that you are giving up nothing whatsoever. The best way to understand the subtleties of the PMO trap is to compare it with eating. If we are in the habit of eating regular meals, we are not aware of being hungry between meals. Only if the meal is delayed are we aware of being hungry, and even then, there is no physical pain, just an empty, insecure feeling which we know as: &lsquo;I need to eat.&rsquo; And the process of satisfying our hunger is a very pleasantpastime.</p> +</a></h2><p>Forgive me if I dwell on this subject for a moment. The main reason that PMOers find it difficult to quit is that they believe that they are giving up a genuine pleasure or crutch. It is absolutely essential to understand that you are giving up nothing whatsoever. The best way to understand the subtleties of the PMO trap is to compare it with eating. If we are in the habit of eating regular meals, we are not aware of being hungry between meals. Only if the meal is delayed are we aware of being hungry, and even then, there is no physical pain, just an empty, insecure feeling which we know as: &lsquo;I need to eat.&rsquo; And the process of satisfying our hunger is a very pleasant pastime.</p> <p>PMOing appears to be almost identical. The empty, insecure feeling which we know as: &lsquo;wanting or needing an PMO orgasm’ is identical to a hunger for food, although one will not satisfy the other. Like hunger, there is no physical pain and the feeling is so imperceptible that we are not even aware of it between PMO sessions. It&rsquo;s only if we want to masturbate and aren&rsquo;t able to reach internet for porn that we become aware of any discomfort. But when we do PMO we feel satisfied.</p> -<p>It is this similarity to eating which helps to fool PMOers into believing that they receive some genuine pleasure. Some PMOers find it very difficult to grasp that there is no pleasure or crutch, whatsoever to PMO. Some argue: “How can you say there is no crutch? When I orgasm up then I&rsquo;llfeel less nervous than before.”</p> +<p>It is this similarity to eating which helps to fool PMOers into believing that they receive some genuine pleasure. Some PMOers find it very difficult to grasp that there is no pleasure or crutch, whatsoever to PMO. Some argue: “How can you say there is no crutch? When I orgasm up then I&rsquo;ll feel less nervous than before.”</p> <p>Although eating and PMOing appear to be very similar. In fact they are exact opposites:</p> <ol> <li>You eat to survive and to energize your life, whereas PMOing dims your mojo and cuts down your energy.</li> @@ -4379,7 +4379,7 @@ became addicted. However, the satisfaction is only temporary because in order to <p>All PMOers feel that something evil has got possession of them. In the early days it is a question of, “I am going to stop, not today but tomorrow.” Eventually we get to the stage where we think either that we haven&rsquo;t got the willpower or that there is something inherent in the whole PMO that we must have in order to enjoy life.</p> <p>As I said previously, the problem is not explaining why it is easy to stop; it is explaining why it is difficult. In fact, the real problem is explaining scientifically why anybody does it even after getting the insights on the neurological damages of addictions not limited to porn.</p> <p>The whole business of porn is an extraordinary enigma. One of the reasons we get on to it is because of the thousands of people are already into it, about 35% of the population approximately. Yet every one of them wishes he or she had not started in the first place, telling us that life is like driving in second gear. We cannot quite believe they are not enjoying it. We associate it with freedom or being “sex-educated” and work hard to become hooked ourselves. We then spend the rest of our lives telling others not to do it and trying to kick the habit ourselves.</p> -<p>We also spend the rest of our lives feeling hopeless and miserable. Time spent on porn can accumulate to a large percentage of our life in this planet! What do we do with that amount of time spent? We ‘educate’ ourselves with supranormal<sup id="fnref:1"><a href="#fn:1" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">1</a></sup> ‘material’ that makes us stupidly prefer and childishly long for these cold images - even when warm real ones are available. By the constant surge and drop of dopamine induced by PMO, we sentence ourselves to a lifetime of irritability, anger, frustration, stress, fatigue<sup id="fnref:2"><a href="#fn:2" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">2</a></sup>, PIED, hypofrontality etc. In short, it is a lifetime of slavery. It is logically and intuitively clear that amative sex (physical touch, feel, voice etc.) is the best part of sex and is even better (if Karezza<sup id="fnref:3"><a href="#fn:3" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">3</a></sup> is practised, although not necessary for the current purposes) than the propagative (orgasm) part, except when children are desired. So, when we use porn in the absence of the best part of sex we feel miserable and guilty.</p> +<p>We also spend the rest of our lives feeling hopeless and miserable. Time spent on porn can accumulate to a large percentage of our life in this planet! What do we do with that amount of time spent? We ‘educate’ ourselves with supranormal<sup id="fnref:1"><a href="#fn:1" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">1</a></sup> ‘material’ that makes us stupidly prefer and childishly long for these cold images - even when warm real ones are available. By the constant surge and drop of dopamine induced by PMO, we sentence ourselves to a lifetime of irritability, anger, frustration, stress, fatigue<sup id="fnref:2"><a href="#fn:2" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">2</a></sup>, PIED, hypofrontality etc. In short, it is a lifetime of slavery. It is logically and intuitively clear that amative sex (physical touch, feel, voice etc.) is the best part of sex and is even better (if Karezza<sup id="fnref:3"><a href="#fn:3" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">3</a></sup> is practiced, although not necessary for the current purposes) than the propagative (orgasm) part, except when children are desired. So, when we use porn in the absence of the best part of sex we feel miserable and guilty.</p> <p>In fact, all the reading about internet pornography&rsquo;s addictive capabilities and it’s destructive effects here and in other online sites makes us even more nervous and hopeless. When we are trying to cut down or stop, we end up feeling deprived. We wish we didn&rsquo;t have to. What sort of hobby is it that when you are doing it you wish you weren&rsquo;t, and when you are not doing it you crave for it? A lifetime of an otherwise intelligent, rational human being going through life in contempt.</p> <p>The PMOer despises himself, every time he has an unreliable erection, a fading penetration, reading about PIED and other stuff on the YBOP forum, every time he could not pull himself up to exercise after a daytime PMO, every PMO behind his or her trustfully asleep partner’s back, every time he sees his tired face and lifeless eyes in the restroom mirror.</p> <p>Having to go through life with these awful black shadows at the back of his mind, what does he get out of it? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! Pleasure? Enjoyment? Relaxation? A prop? A boost? All illusions, unless you consider the wearing of tight shoes to enjoy the removal of them as some sort of pleasure!</p> @@ -4468,9 +4468,9 @@ man and woman from performance based anxieties.&#160;<a href="#fnref: <span class="spanForHeader">¶</span> </a></h2><p>Perhaps I should begin by describing my competence for writing this book. No, I am not a doctor or a psychiatrist; my qualifications are far more appropriate. I spent thirty years of my life as a confirmed fapper. In the later years I used porn on a daily bases to get orgasm(s).During my life I had made a great number of attempts to stop. I never got past a full week of abstinence, and I was still climbing up the wall, with an “annoying alarm clock beeping” in my head called craving. With most PMOers, on the health side, it&rsquo;s a question of “ I&rsquo;ll stop before it happens to me.” I had reached the stage where I knew it has caused PIED, hypofrontality (inability to control and execute action towards a goal), irritability, lack of energy, soulless eyes, mental dryness, stress and pain in the lower back, genital irritations. It bothered me, but it still didn&rsquo;t stop me.</p> <p>I felt lack of enthusiasm to go to gym or just a walk even if it’s sunny outside or simple weight lifting at home either. I had reached the stage where I gave up even trying to stop. I found excuses in substitute methods (controlled use, safe porn, porn-diet and etc. discussed later) as advocated by sexologists, forum users and medical pros - who have no idea of its effect on brain chemistry and who are themselves fooled by their &rsquo;little monster&rsquo; (not devil or satan - we will talk about monsters later) . The novelty trap and shock value provided by internet porn delivered at home with a low risk high reward deal is something that they can’t even think of. They are still in the static playboy era. And the younger ones have buried their heads under the sand so they can still continue to PMO.</p> -<p>The worst part is it was not so much that I enjoyed the PMO. It was just doing it routinely, a chore - like slipping down the water slides, in fact there are brain water slides greased well by the neuro chemicals (DeltaFosB proteins made by dopamine which store emotion scripts for easy recall, will be discussing later). A simple cue such as a commercial, or a day to day stress that got ‘relieved’ temporarily by PMO is all it takes to complete the ride down the ‘waterslide’. Some time in their lives most PMOers have suffered from the illusion that they enjoy the ride, the novelty, the rush and of course the orgasm, but I never had that illusion.</p> +<p>The worst part is it was not so much that I enjoyed the PMO. It was just doing it routinely, a chore - like slipping down the water slides, in fact there are brain water slides greased well by the neurochemicals (DeltaFosB proteins made by dopamine which store emotion scripts for easy recall, will be discussing later). A simple cue such as a commercial, or a day to day stress that got ‘relieved’ temporarily by PMO is all it takes to complete the ride down the ‘waterslide’. Some time in their lives most PMOers have suffered from the illusion that they enjoy the ride, the novelty, the rush and of course the orgasm, but I never had that illusion.</p> <p>I have most times detested the porn, even when I liked the orgasm. But at all times I thought a release from PMO helped me to relax. It gave me courage and confidence, and I was always miserable when I tried to stop, never being able to visualize an enjoyable life without PMO. And so my PMO habit which had started before my marriage stayed with me during and after my marriage was over. I had experienced PIED but I blocked it out and found excuses , “it happens to every man”. Well it does of course - but &lsquo;it&rsquo; happened to me again and again. My penis, I found it difficult to get hard - when I am with real woman. Could it be because I had habituated it to work in limp mode? Later I found that it was hard for me to get hard even with porn.</p> -<p>My girlfriend gave a book by Dr David Burns - which I liked very much. I also practised the exercises and got interested in it. Through the book I came to know of Dr. Abraham Low and his books on rational therapy - it is now known as Recovery International. At the same time - my soon to be ex-wife also sent me to a therapist. I completed therapy - and was getting out of my mental rut and started a new beginning in my life. I continued my reading and self education from the above two authors and started to read about REBT and Dr. Albert Ellis. I poured into all of his books and got myself well trained in REBT. I still practice it on a daily bases. I do ABC write ups (and DE and F as well)<sup id="fnref:1"><a href="#fn:1" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">1</a></sup> and actively journal my daily endorsements. I keep my DML (daily mood logs) and Endorse documents in an online spreadsheet.</p> +<p>My girlfriend gave a book by Dr David Burns - which I liked very much. I also practiced the exercises and got interested in it. Through the book I came to know of Dr. Abraham Low and his books on rational therapy - it is now known as Recovery International. At the same time - my soon to be ex-wife also sent me to a therapist. I completed therapy - and was getting out of my mental rut and started a new beginning in my life. I continued my reading and self education from the above two authors and started to read about REBT and Dr. Albert Ellis. I poured into all of his books and got myself well trained in REBT. I still practice it on a daily bases. I do ABC write ups (and DE and F as well)<sup id="fnref:1"><a href="#fn:1" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">1</a></sup> and actively journal my daily endorsements. I keep my DML (daily mood logs) and Endorse documents in an online spreadsheet.</p> <p>I was able to spot my rigid beliefs, exaggerations, self-rating and low frustration tolerance and immediately self-talk myself to have healthy negative emotions when needed. I was able to get my alcohol intake under control, cigarettes were on and off, and I rode through divorces. The point is that I was able to go through them all with the lowest disturbance in any random test set of divorced 40 yr old guys. However, I was still struggling with the occasional excesses that are inevitable with alcohol. I absolutely hated the cigarettes. I was aware of my (and the little monster&rsquo;s) efforts to dig a hole and hide my head in sand about my daily PMO affecting my sex life. I had two incidences of PIED, and found substitutes in getting a fleshlight to simulate a female vagina and also as a form of stamina training.</p> <p>I then somehow landed on the Amazon page of Allen Carr’s best seller book on how to stop smoking. I used it to quit my smoking by the time I completed the reading. I felt so light and happy about quitting, how can I not be, I don’t have the feelings of misery and self-sacrifice. I don’t even feel the ‘resistance to temptations’ that most feel which taxes their will power. I know I found something that will work for me. Now, cigarettes are not the society’s favourite anyway and it carried a social stigma so that would be easy, right? I then challenged myself to my next problem, alcohol - where my frequent excesses were starting to bother me. I realized that I am finding excuses and minimizing my nasty and shameful drunken behaviours many times. I can also see I am using it as a crutch and also as pleasure - but more of the former. I guess that it has to do my nature of being melancholic. And yes, I was able to kick that habit as well.</p> @@ -4518,7 +4518,7 @@ Do not take anything for granted. Question not only what I tell you but also you <p>Some PUA<sup id="fnref:2"><a href="#fn:2" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">2</a></sup> experts say something like: PMO only once in four days “ Every PMOer knows that it is the one day that most PMOers will do twice as many as they usually do and sometimes they ‘close the shop’ to run home knowing that it is their final day of ‘fasting’ and because no one like being told what to do, particularly by people who dismiss PMOers as mere idiots and don&rsquo;t understand their problem.</p> <p>Because they don&rsquo;t completely understand PMOers themselves or how to make it easy for them to quit, their attitude is &lsquo;Try this method. If it doesn&rsquo;t work try another: Can you imagine if there were ten different ways of treating appendicitis? Nine of them cured 10 per cent of the patients, which means they killed 90 per cent of them and the tenth way cured 95 per cent. Imagine that knowledge of the tenth method had been available for free, but the vast majority of the medical profession was still recommending the other nine.</p> <p>Someone pointed out that doctors might well find themselves liable to a legal action for malpractice, by not advising their patients of the best way to quit. Ironically he was a great advocate of substituting methods (soft porn, solo, nude only, porn-diet etc), I try hard not to be vindictive, but I hope he becomes the first victim of his suggestion.</p> -<p>There are many websites that talk about the harms of PMO. You can find content that explains scientifically the harms of high speed internet porn on the brain. There is much literature and studies of neuro chemicals and the neuroplasticity of the brain and how it is affected by PMO. I read many comments on forums and blogs of how some were able to overcome the addiction. They might just as well have wasted it on trying to persuade their readers that motorbikes can kill you. Do they not realize that youngsters know that one ‘look’ at a tube site won&rsquo;t kill them and that no youngster ever expects to get hooked? The link between porn and PIED porn induced ED, has been established for some time now. Yet more youngsters are becoming hooked nowadays than ever before.</p> +<p>There are many websites that talk about the harms of PMO. You can find content that explains scientifically the harms of high speed internet porn on the brain. There is much literature and studies of neurochemicals and the neuroplasticity of the brain and how it is affected by PMO. I read many comments on forums and blogs of how some were able to overcome the addiction. They might just as well have wasted it on trying to persuade their readers that motorbikes can kill you. Do they not realize that youngsters know that one ‘look’ at a tube site won&rsquo;t kill them and that no youngster ever expects to get hooked? The link between porn and PIED porn induced ED, has been established for some time now. Yet more youngsters are becoming hooked nowadays than ever before.</p> <p>Youngsters don&rsquo;t need to be preached on the harms of PIED, hypofrontality, dopamine surge and the resulting cutting down of the associated dopamine receptors. Young and old PMOers tend to avoid such materials anyway. Practically every subscriber and reader of sites such as YBOP knows the brain science and the self-sabotage nature of PMO. I myself has seen the damages in my personal life. On a more serious note, two men in my own family had MO addiction ( porn was not prevalent 20 yrs ago) and I can see how they were peevish and melancholic when they felt deprived or guilty related to their MO. But that didn&rsquo;t prevent me from falling into the trap.</p> <p>However, the snowball won&rsquo;t become an avalanche until the medical profession and the media stop recommending methods that make it harder to quit and accept that EASYPEASYWAY is not just another method: BUT THE ONLY SENSIBLE METHOD TO USE! I don&rsquo;t expect you to believe me at this stage, but by the time you have finished the book, you will understand.</p> <p>Even the comparatively few failures that we have say something like: &lsquo;I haven&rsquo;t succeeded yet, but your way is better than any I know.&rsquo; If when you finish the book, you feel that you owe me a debt of gratitude, you can more than repay that debt. Not just by recommending EASYPEASYWAY to your friends, but whenever you see or read an article advocating some other method, email to them asking why they aren&rsquo;t advocating EASYWAY.</p> @@ -4574,8 +4574,7 @@ easy to quit.</p> <li>It takes willpower to quit</li> <li>Once an addict always an addict</li> <li>Telling PMOers that it will turn them into robots will make them to quit</li> -<li>Substitutes, particularly soft porn, reality porn, solo naked only porn etc.. and training toys -such as fleshlight, helps PMOers to regain their full unfading erections.</li> +<li>Substitutes, particularly soft porn, reality porn, solo naked only porn etc.. and training toys such as fleshlight, helps PMOers to regain their full unfading erections.</li> <li>All porn is same in their rate of addictiveness</li> <li>In particular, when I had dispelled the illusion that it is difficult to quit and that you have to go through a transitional period of misery in order to do so, I naively thought that the rest of diff --git a/new-site/public/tags/index.xml b/new-site/public/tags/index.xml index a0e90b79..113fa025 100644 --- a/new-site/public/tags/index.xml +++ b/new-site/public/tags/index.xml @@ -3525,7 +3525,7 @@ Get out of the habit of envying PMOers and start seeing them as the miserable, p </blockquote> <p>Teenagers are generally more difficult to cure, not because they find it difficult to stop but because either they do not believe they are hooked or they are at the primary stage of the trap and suffer from the delusion that they will automatically have stopped before the secondary stage.</p> <p>I would like particularly to warn parents of children who loathe internet porn not to have a false sense of security. All children loathe the dark sides of porn until they become hooked. You did too at one time. Also do not be fooled by scare campaigns. The trap is the same as it always was. Children know that internet porn is supranormal stimuli but they also know that one ‘visit’ or ‘peek’ will not do it. At some stage they may be influenced by a girlfriend or boyfriend, school friend or work colleague.</p> -<p>You may think that all they need is an education in brain plasticity and that PMO (including even masturbation) acts like a virus in their brain programme to convince them they could never become hooked. I find society&rsquo;s failure to prevent our children from becoming addicted to internet porn and other drugs to be the most disturbing of all the many disturbing facets of addiction. I beg you not to be complacent in this matter. It is necessary to protect youngsters as their brain is more plastic at that age. I strongly urge you to read the YBOP book and educate yourself of the brain science. Even if you suspect your teenager might lready be hooked, the book will provide excellent guidance to assist in gaining understanding for someone to escape.</p> +<p>You may think that all they need is an education in brain plasticity and that PMO (including even masturbation) acts like a virus in their brain programme to convince them they could never become hooked. I find society&rsquo;s failure to prevent our children from becoming addicted to internet porn and other drugs to be the most disturbing of all the many disturbing facets of addiction. I beg you not to be complacent in this matter. It is necessary to protect youngsters as their brain is more plastic at that age. I strongly urge you to read the YBOP book and educate yourself of the brain science. Even if you suspect your teenager might already be hooked, the book will provide excellent guidance to assist in gaining understanding for someone to escape.</p> <div class="footnotes" role="doc-endnotes"> <hr> <ol> @@ -3533,7 +3533,7 @@ Get out of the habit of envying PMOers and start seeing them as the miserable, p <p><strong>RC</strong> - reward circuits.&#160;<a href="#fnref:1" class="footnote-backref" role="doc-backlink">&#x21a9;&#xfe0e;</a></p> </li> <li id="fn:2"> -<p><strong>Regulation</strong> - Up and down regulation is a natural reactionary process of the brain to adjust receptors and or their neuro-transmitters based on the level that is present.&#160;<a href="#fnref:2" class="footnote-backref" role="doc-backlink">&#x21a9;&#xfe0e;</a></p> +<p><strong>Regulation</strong> - Up and down regulation is a natural reactionary process of the brain to adjust receptors and or their neurotransmitters based on the level that is present.&#160;<a href="#fnref:2" class="footnote-backref" role="doc-backlink">&#x21a9;&#xfe0e;</a></p> </li> </ol> </div> @@ -3758,7 +3758,7 @@ Get out of the habit of envying PMOers and start seeing them as the miserable, p <p>The fact that it took you twenty years to reach that state is irrelevant. So it is with PMOing. If I could immediately transfer you into your mind and body to give you a direct comparison on how you would feel having stopped internet porn for just three weeks, that is all I would need to do to persuade you to quit. You would think: “Will I really feel this good?” Or what it really amounts to: “Had I really sunk that low?” I emphasize that I don&rsquo;t just mean that you would feel healthier and have more energy but how you would also feel more confident and relaxed and better able to concentrate.</p> <p>As a teenager, I can remember rushing around just for the hell of it. I was interested in reading, I had set up a chemical lab, tried fixing (old CRT) TVs, dabbled with cooking etc. I was fascinated by scientists. Then I got attracted to makers and doers of the rag-to-riches lives of real people. I had the inner push and I knew I had it.</p> <p>I then was introduced to print porn, then came music TV channels, followed by static computer images. By this time I was permanently tired and lethargic. Then came internet porn of images and downloadable movies. I used to struggle to wake up at nine o&rsquo;clock in the morning. After my evening meal I would already be thinking about porn before going to bed, even when I had a girlfriend. Sex with her was a ‘chore’. But PMO with internet porn had all the novelty, shock, etc. No one can match that lure. And then the internet upped its game with tube sites, catalogued porn genres, ‘hearting’ favorites and all in lightning speed, high quality, no traces of downloads. Even the browsers went incognito, thoroughly helping me to cover my tracks. Reward with no pains.</p> -<p>By this time, the lack of energy, tiredness and everything related to it is nicely swept under the rug of ‘getting’ older. My friends and colleagues by this time are all living sedentary lifestyles. I hought this behaviour was normal. I believed that energy was the exclusive prerogative of children and teenagers, and that old age began in the early twenties. I did not notice that I was paying attention to my health in general by eating right - which they did not. But I did not notice that anomaly.</p> +<p>By this time, the lack of energy, tiredness and everything related to it is nicely swept under the rug of ‘getting’ older. My friends and colleagues by this time are all living sedentary lifestyles. I thought this behaviour was normal. I believed that energy was the exclusive prerogative of children and teenagers, and that old age began in the early twenties. I did not notice that I was paying attention to my health in general by eating right - which they did not. But I did not notice that anomaly.</p> <p>Shortly after I stopped PMO, I was relieved that this foggy and muggy feeling left me. For example, I can keep a steady gaze with my eyes on just about anything for a longer time. If I am looking into someone’s eyes it is even longer. However something truly marvellous and unexpected also happened. I started waking at seven o&rsquo;clock in the morning feeling completely rested and full of energy, actually wanting to exercise, jog and swim. I have read about a forty-eight year old who couldn&rsquo;t run a step or swim a stroke. The only sporting activities were confined to such dynamic pursuits as green bowling, affectionately referred to as “the old man&rsquo;s game,” and golf, for which he had to use a motorized cart. But after quitting PMO he started going to gym - not that it is necessary that everyone would - but still. Almost all us know that it&rsquo;s great to have energy and when you feel physically and mentally strong, it feels great to be alive.</p> <p>That is the point with PMOing - you are always debiting your energy. And in that process tampering with your brain codes of the reward circuit. Which again is going to make you miserable and vulnerable to stress and strain attacks. Unfortunately when you feel down with all of this you will seek a cigarette or alcohol or again porn. Unlike quitting smoking, where the return of your physical and mental health is only gradual, quitting PMO gives you excellent results from day one. Starting with energy. Then your mental programming to close the ‘water slides’ takes a bit of time. You need to kill the Little Monster - which will be explained in later chapters. Recovering your RC is nothing like as slow as the slide into the pit and if you are going through the trauma of the willpower method of quitting, any health or energy gains will be obliterated by the depression you will be going through. Unfortunately, I cannot immediately transfer you into your mind and body in three weeks&rsquo; time. But you can! You know instinctively that what I am telling you is correct. All you need to do is: USE YOUR IMAGINATION!</p> @@ -4028,7 +4028,7 @@ pleasure.”</em></p> <p>Every time I hear a porn addict trying to justify his addiction the message is, “Oh, it calms me. It helps me to relax.”</p> <p>On the Internet I read about a single dad whose 6 year old son would want to share his bed sometimes in the night after a scary movie yet the dad would refuse under some pretence so he can have his PMO session and edge for hours.</p> <p>Let me try a smoking analogy here&hellip; a couple of years ago, the adoption authorities threatened to prevent smokers from adopting children. A man rang up, irate. He said, “you are completely wrong. I can remember when I was a child, if I had a contentious matter to raise with my mother, I would wait until she lit a cigarette because she was more relaxed then.” Why couldn&rsquo;t he talk to his mother when she wasn&rsquo;t smoking a cigarette?</p> -<p>Why are PMOers so stressd when they are not getting their fix, even after a real sex with a real woman? I read about a guy who has 9&rsquo;s and 10&rsquo;s open for dating with him as he was in the advertising field. I am talking about dinner and stuff only - but he lost interest in those dinners as his Internet porn is far more ‘easy’ for him - no restaurant spending and no hearing a ‘no’ from his date at the end of an evening. Why would he bother when his little monster tells him about the low-risk high-reward scheme called PMO that is at his fingertips when he reaches home? Those real girls sure have competition.</p> +<p>Why are PMOers so stressed when they are not getting their fix, even after a real sex with a real woman? I read about a guy who has 9&rsquo;s and 10&rsquo;s open for dating with him as he was in the advertising field. I am talking about dinner and stuff only - but he lost interest in those dinners as his Internet porn is far more ‘easy’ for him - no restaurant spending and no hearing a ‘no’ from his date at the end of an evening. Why would he bother when his little monster tells him about the low-risk high-reward scheme called PMO that is at his fingertips when he reaches home? Those real girls sure have competition.</p> <p>Why are non-PMOers completely relaxed then? Why are PMOers not able to relax without a fix for a day or two? If you read about the experience of a PMOer taking the abstinence oath and quitting and you notice his struggle with the temptations. You can clearly see that they are not relaxed at all when they are not allowed to have the ‘only pleasure’ they are “entitled to enjoy.” They&rsquo;ve forgotten what it feels like to be completely relaxed. That&rsquo;s one of the many joys you have to come. The whole business of PMOing can be likened to a fly being caught in a pitcher plant. To begin with, the fly is eating the nectar. At some imperceptible stage the plant begins to eat the fly.</p> <p>Isn&rsquo;t it time you climbed out of that plant?</p> @@ -4251,9 +4251,9 @@ became addicted. However, the satisfaction is only temporary because in order to <p>We talk about internet porn being relaxing or giving satisfaction. But how can you be satisfied unless you were dissatisfied in the first place? Why don&rsquo;t non-PMOer suffer from this dissatisfied state and why, after a no-sex date, when the non-PMOers are completely relaxed, are PMOers completely unrelaxed until they have satisfied their &rsquo;little monster&rsquo;?</p> <h2 id="a-pleasure-or-crutch">A Pleasure or Crutch? <a class="anchor" href="#a-pleasure-or-crutch"> <span class="spanForHeader">¶</span> -</a></h2><p>Forgive me if I dwell on this subject for a moment. The main reason that PMOers find it difficult to quit is that they believe that they are giving up a genuine pleasure or crutch. It is absolutely essential to understand that you are giving up nothing whatsoever. The best way to understand the subtleties of the PMO trap is to compare it with eating. If we are in the habit of eating regular meals, we are not aware of being hungry between meals. Only if the meal is delayed are we aware of being hungry, and even then, there is no physical pain, just an empty, insecure feeling which we know as: &lsquo;I need to eat.&rsquo; And the process of satisfying our hunger is a very pleasantpastime.</p> +</a></h2><p>Forgive me if I dwell on this subject for a moment. The main reason that PMOers find it difficult to quit is that they believe that they are giving up a genuine pleasure or crutch. It is absolutely essential to understand that you are giving up nothing whatsoever. The best way to understand the subtleties of the PMO trap is to compare it with eating. If we are in the habit of eating regular meals, we are not aware of being hungry between meals. Only if the meal is delayed are we aware of being hungry, and even then, there is no physical pain, just an empty, insecure feeling which we know as: &lsquo;I need to eat.&rsquo; And the process of satisfying our hunger is a very pleasant pastime.</p> <p>PMOing appears to be almost identical. The empty, insecure feeling which we know as: &lsquo;wanting or needing an PMO orgasm’ is identical to a hunger for food, although one will not satisfy the other. Like hunger, there is no physical pain and the feeling is so imperceptible that we are not even aware of it between PMO sessions. It&rsquo;s only if we want to masturbate and aren&rsquo;t able to reach internet for porn that we become aware of any discomfort. But when we do PMO we feel satisfied.</p> -<p>It is this similarity to eating which helps to fool PMOers into believing that they receive some genuine pleasure. Some PMOers find it very difficult to grasp that there is no pleasure or crutch, whatsoever to PMO. Some argue: “How can you say there is no crutch? When I orgasm up then I&rsquo;llfeel less nervous than before.”</p> +<p>It is this similarity to eating which helps to fool PMOers into believing that they receive some genuine pleasure. Some PMOers find it very difficult to grasp that there is no pleasure or crutch, whatsoever to PMO. Some argue: “How can you say there is no crutch? When I orgasm up then I&rsquo;ll feel less nervous than before.”</p> <p>Although eating and PMOing appear to be very similar. In fact they are exact opposites:</p> <ol> <li>You eat to survive and to energize your life, whereas PMOing dims your mojo and cuts down your energy.</li> @@ -4379,7 +4379,7 @@ became addicted. However, the satisfaction is only temporary because in order to <p>All PMOers feel that something evil has got possession of them. In the early days it is a question of, “I am going to stop, not today but tomorrow.” Eventually we get to the stage where we think either that we haven&rsquo;t got the willpower or that there is something inherent in the whole PMO that we must have in order to enjoy life.</p> <p>As I said previously, the problem is not explaining why it is easy to stop; it is explaining why it is difficult. In fact, the real problem is explaining scientifically why anybody does it even after getting the insights on the neurological damages of addictions not limited to porn.</p> <p>The whole business of porn is an extraordinary enigma. One of the reasons we get on to it is because of the thousands of people are already into it, about 35% of the population approximately. Yet every one of them wishes he or she had not started in the first place, telling us that life is like driving in second gear. We cannot quite believe they are not enjoying it. We associate it with freedom or being “sex-educated” and work hard to become hooked ourselves. We then spend the rest of our lives telling others not to do it and trying to kick the habit ourselves.</p> -<p>We also spend the rest of our lives feeling hopeless and miserable. Time spent on porn can accumulate to a large percentage of our life in this planet! What do we do with that amount of time spent? We ‘educate’ ourselves with supranormal<sup id="fnref:1"><a href="#fn:1" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">1</a></sup> ‘material’ that makes us stupidly prefer and childishly long for these cold images - even when warm real ones are available. By the constant surge and drop of dopamine induced by PMO, we sentence ourselves to a lifetime of irritability, anger, frustration, stress, fatigue<sup id="fnref:2"><a href="#fn:2" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">2</a></sup>, PIED, hypofrontality etc. In short, it is a lifetime of slavery. It is logically and intuitively clear that amative sex (physical touch, feel, voice etc.) is the best part of sex and is even better (if Karezza<sup id="fnref:3"><a href="#fn:3" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">3</a></sup> is practised, although not necessary for the current purposes) than the propagative (orgasm) part, except when children are desired. So, when we use porn in the absence of the best part of sex we feel miserable and guilty.</p> +<p>We also spend the rest of our lives feeling hopeless and miserable. Time spent on porn can accumulate to a large percentage of our life in this planet! What do we do with that amount of time spent? We ‘educate’ ourselves with supranormal<sup id="fnref:1"><a href="#fn:1" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">1</a></sup> ‘material’ that makes us stupidly prefer and childishly long for these cold images - even when warm real ones are available. By the constant surge and drop of dopamine induced by PMO, we sentence ourselves to a lifetime of irritability, anger, frustration, stress, fatigue<sup id="fnref:2"><a href="#fn:2" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">2</a></sup>, PIED, hypofrontality etc. In short, it is a lifetime of slavery. It is logically and intuitively clear that amative sex (physical touch, feel, voice etc.) is the best part of sex and is even better (if Karezza<sup id="fnref:3"><a href="#fn:3" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">3</a></sup> is practiced, although not necessary for the current purposes) than the propagative (orgasm) part, except when children are desired. So, when we use porn in the absence of the best part of sex we feel miserable and guilty.</p> <p>In fact, all the reading about internet pornography&rsquo;s addictive capabilities and it’s destructive effects here and in other online sites makes us even more nervous and hopeless. When we are trying to cut down or stop, we end up feeling deprived. We wish we didn&rsquo;t have to. What sort of hobby is it that when you are doing it you wish you weren&rsquo;t, and when you are not doing it you crave for it? A lifetime of an otherwise intelligent, rational human being going through life in contempt.</p> <p>The PMOer despises himself, every time he has an unreliable erection, a fading penetration, reading about PIED and other stuff on the YBOP forum, every time he could not pull himself up to exercise after a daytime PMO, every PMO behind his or her trustfully asleep partner’s back, every time he sees his tired face and lifeless eyes in the restroom mirror.</p> <p>Having to go through life with these awful black shadows at the back of his mind, what does he get out of it? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! Pleasure? Enjoyment? Relaxation? A prop? A boost? All illusions, unless you consider the wearing of tight shoes to enjoy the removal of them as some sort of pleasure!</p> @@ -4468,9 +4468,9 @@ man and woman from performance based anxieties.&#160;<a href="#fnref: <span class="spanForHeader">¶</span> </a></h2><p>Perhaps I should begin by describing my competence for writing this book. No, I am not a doctor or a psychiatrist; my qualifications are far more appropriate. I spent thirty years of my life as a confirmed fapper. In the later years I used porn on a daily bases to get orgasm(s).During my life I had made a great number of attempts to stop. I never got past a full week of abstinence, and I was still climbing up the wall, with an “annoying alarm clock beeping” in my head called craving. With most PMOers, on the health side, it&rsquo;s a question of “ I&rsquo;ll stop before it happens to me.” I had reached the stage where I knew it has caused PIED, hypofrontality (inability to control and execute action towards a goal), irritability, lack of energy, soulless eyes, mental dryness, stress and pain in the lower back, genital irritations. It bothered me, but it still didn&rsquo;t stop me.</p> <p>I felt lack of enthusiasm to go to gym or just a walk even if it’s sunny outside or simple weight lifting at home either. I had reached the stage where I gave up even trying to stop. I found excuses in substitute methods (controlled use, safe porn, porn-diet and etc. discussed later) as advocated by sexologists, forum users and medical pros - who have no idea of its effect on brain chemistry and who are themselves fooled by their &rsquo;little monster&rsquo; (not devil or satan - we will talk about monsters later) . The novelty trap and shock value provided by internet porn delivered at home with a low risk high reward deal is something that they can’t even think of. They are still in the static playboy era. And the younger ones have buried their heads under the sand so they can still continue to PMO.</p> -<p>The worst part is it was not so much that I enjoyed the PMO. It was just doing it routinely, a chore - like slipping down the water slides, in fact there are brain water slides greased well by the neuro chemicals (DeltaFosB proteins made by dopamine which store emotion scripts for easy recall, will be discussing later). A simple cue such as a commercial, or a day to day stress that got ‘relieved’ temporarily by PMO is all it takes to complete the ride down the ‘waterslide’. Some time in their lives most PMOers have suffered from the illusion that they enjoy the ride, the novelty, the rush and of course the orgasm, but I never had that illusion.</p> +<p>The worst part is it was not so much that I enjoyed the PMO. It was just doing it routinely, a chore - like slipping down the water slides, in fact there are brain water slides greased well by the neurochemicals (DeltaFosB proteins made by dopamine which store emotion scripts for easy recall, will be discussing later). A simple cue such as a commercial, or a day to day stress that got ‘relieved’ temporarily by PMO is all it takes to complete the ride down the ‘waterslide’. Some time in their lives most PMOers have suffered from the illusion that they enjoy the ride, the novelty, the rush and of course the orgasm, but I never had that illusion.</p> <p>I have most times detested the porn, even when I liked the orgasm. But at all times I thought a release from PMO helped me to relax. It gave me courage and confidence, and I was always miserable when I tried to stop, never being able to visualize an enjoyable life without PMO. And so my PMO habit which had started before my marriage stayed with me during and after my marriage was over. I had experienced PIED but I blocked it out and found excuses , “it happens to every man”. Well it does of course - but &lsquo;it&rsquo; happened to me again and again. My penis, I found it difficult to get hard - when I am with real woman. Could it be because I had habituated it to work in limp mode? Later I found that it was hard for me to get hard even with porn.</p> -<p>My girlfriend gave a book by Dr David Burns - which I liked very much. I also practised the exercises and got interested in it. Through the book I came to know of Dr. Abraham Low and his books on rational therapy - it is now known as Recovery International. At the same time - my soon to be ex-wife also sent me to a therapist. I completed therapy - and was getting out of my mental rut and started a new beginning in my life. I continued my reading and self education from the above two authors and started to read about REBT and Dr. Albert Ellis. I poured into all of his books and got myself well trained in REBT. I still practice it on a daily bases. I do ABC write ups (and DE and F as well)<sup id="fnref:1"><a href="#fn:1" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">1</a></sup> and actively journal my daily endorsements. I keep my DML (daily mood logs) and Endorse documents in an online spreadsheet.</p> +<p>My girlfriend gave a book by Dr David Burns - which I liked very much. I also practiced the exercises and got interested in it. Through the book I came to know of Dr. Abraham Low and his books on rational therapy - it is now known as Recovery International. At the same time - my soon to be ex-wife also sent me to a therapist. I completed therapy - and was getting out of my mental rut and started a new beginning in my life. I continued my reading and self education from the above two authors and started to read about REBT and Dr. Albert Ellis. I poured into all of his books and got myself well trained in REBT. I still practice it on a daily bases. I do ABC write ups (and DE and F as well)<sup id="fnref:1"><a href="#fn:1" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">1</a></sup> and actively journal my daily endorsements. I keep my DML (daily mood logs) and Endorse documents in an online spreadsheet.</p> <p>I was able to spot my rigid beliefs, exaggerations, self-rating and low frustration tolerance and immediately self-talk myself to have healthy negative emotions when needed. I was able to get my alcohol intake under control, cigarettes were on and off, and I rode through divorces. The point is that I was able to go through them all with the lowest disturbance in any random test set of divorced 40 yr old guys. However, I was still struggling with the occasional excesses that are inevitable with alcohol. I absolutely hated the cigarettes. I was aware of my (and the little monster&rsquo;s) efforts to dig a hole and hide my head in sand about my daily PMO affecting my sex life. I had two incidences of PIED, and found substitutes in getting a fleshlight to simulate a female vagina and also as a form of stamina training.</p> <p>I then somehow landed on the Amazon page of Allen Carr’s best seller book on how to stop smoking. I used it to quit my smoking by the time I completed the reading. I felt so light and happy about quitting, how can I not be, I don’t have the feelings of misery and self-sacrifice. I don’t even feel the ‘resistance to temptations’ that most feel which taxes their will power. I know I found something that will work for me. Now, cigarettes are not the society’s favourite anyway and it carried a social stigma so that would be easy, right? I then challenged myself to my next problem, alcohol - where my frequent excesses were starting to bother me. I realized that I am finding excuses and minimizing my nasty and shameful drunken behaviours many times. I can also see I am using it as a crutch and also as pleasure - but more of the former. I guess that it has to do my nature of being melancholic. And yes, I was able to kick that habit as well.</p> @@ -4518,7 +4518,7 @@ Do not take anything for granted. Question not only what I tell you but also you <p>Some PUA<sup id="fnref:2"><a href="#fn:2" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">2</a></sup> experts say something like: PMO only once in four days “ Every PMOer knows that it is the one day that most PMOers will do twice as many as they usually do and sometimes they ‘close the shop’ to run home knowing that it is their final day of ‘fasting’ and because no one like being told what to do, particularly by people who dismiss PMOers as mere idiots and don&rsquo;t understand their problem.</p> <p>Because they don&rsquo;t completely understand PMOers themselves or how to make it easy for them to quit, their attitude is &lsquo;Try this method. If it doesn&rsquo;t work try another: Can you imagine if there were ten different ways of treating appendicitis? Nine of them cured 10 per cent of the patients, which means they killed 90 per cent of them and the tenth way cured 95 per cent. Imagine that knowledge of the tenth method had been available for free, but the vast majority of the medical profession was still recommending the other nine.</p> <p>Someone pointed out that doctors might well find themselves liable to a legal action for malpractice, by not advising their patients of the best way to quit. Ironically he was a great advocate of substituting methods (soft porn, solo, nude only, porn-diet etc), I try hard not to be vindictive, but I hope he becomes the first victim of his suggestion.</p> -<p>There are many websites that talk about the harms of PMO. You can find content that explains scientifically the harms of high speed internet porn on the brain. There is much literature and studies of neuro chemicals and the neuroplasticity of the brain and how it is affected by PMO. I read many comments on forums and blogs of how some were able to overcome the addiction. They might just as well have wasted it on trying to persuade their readers that motorbikes can kill you. Do they not realize that youngsters know that one ‘look’ at a tube site won&rsquo;t kill them and that no youngster ever expects to get hooked? The link between porn and PIED porn induced ED, has been established for some time now. Yet more youngsters are becoming hooked nowadays than ever before.</p> +<p>There are many websites that talk about the harms of PMO. You can find content that explains scientifically the harms of high speed internet porn on the brain. There is much literature and studies of neurochemicals and the neuroplasticity of the brain and how it is affected by PMO. I read many comments on forums and blogs of how some were able to overcome the addiction. They might just as well have wasted it on trying to persuade their readers that motorbikes can kill you. Do they not realize that youngsters know that one ‘look’ at a tube site won&rsquo;t kill them and that no youngster ever expects to get hooked? The link between porn and PIED porn induced ED, has been established for some time now. Yet more youngsters are becoming hooked nowadays than ever before.</p> <p>Youngsters don&rsquo;t need to be preached on the harms of PIED, hypofrontality, dopamine surge and the resulting cutting down of the associated dopamine receptors. Young and old PMOers tend to avoid such materials anyway. Practically every subscriber and reader of sites such as YBOP knows the brain science and the self-sabotage nature of PMO. I myself has seen the damages in my personal life. On a more serious note, two men in my own family had MO addiction ( porn was not prevalent 20 yrs ago) and I can see how they were peevish and melancholic when they felt deprived or guilty related to their MO. But that didn&rsquo;t prevent me from falling into the trap.</p> <p>However, the snowball won&rsquo;t become an avalanche until the medical profession and the media stop recommending methods that make it harder to quit and accept that EASYPEASYWAY is not just another method: BUT THE ONLY SENSIBLE METHOD TO USE! I don&rsquo;t expect you to believe me at this stage, but by the time you have finished the book, you will understand.</p> <p>Even the comparatively few failures that we have say something like: &lsquo;I haven&rsquo;t succeeded yet, but your way is better than any I know.&rsquo; If when you finish the book, you feel that you owe me a debt of gratitude, you can more than repay that debt. Not just by recommending EASYPEASYWAY to your friends, but whenever you see or read an article advocating some other method, email to them asking why they aren&rsquo;t advocating EASYWAY.</p> @@ -4574,8 +4574,7 @@ easy to quit.</p> <li>It takes willpower to quit</li> <li>Once an addict always an addict</li> <li>Telling PMOers that it will turn them into robots will make them to quit</li> -<li>Substitutes, particularly soft porn, reality porn, solo naked only porn etc.. and training toys -such as fleshlight, helps PMOers to regain their full unfading erections.</li> +<li>Substitutes, particularly soft porn, reality porn, solo naked only porn etc.. and training toys such as fleshlight, helps PMOers to regain their full unfading erections.</li> <li>All porn is same in their rate of addictiveness</li> <li>In particular, when I had dispelled the illusion that it is difficult to quit and that you have to go through a transitional period of misery in order to do so, I naively thought that the rest of diff --git a/new-site/public/tags/library/index.xml b/new-site/public/tags/library/index.xml index 99b88b56..890df444 100644 --- a/new-site/public/tags/library/index.xml +++ b/new-site/public/tags/library/index.xml @@ -3525,7 +3525,7 @@ Get out of the habit of envying PMOers and start seeing them as the miserable, p </blockquote> <p>Teenagers are generally more difficult to cure, not because they find it difficult to stop but because either they do not believe they are hooked or they are at the primary stage of the trap and suffer from the delusion that they will automatically have stopped before the secondary stage.</p> <p>I would like particularly to warn parents of children who loathe internet porn not to have a false sense of security. All children loathe the dark sides of porn until they become hooked. You did too at one time. Also do not be fooled by scare campaigns. The trap is the same as it always was. Children know that internet porn is supranormal stimuli but they also know that one ‘visit’ or ‘peek’ will not do it. At some stage they may be influenced by a girlfriend or boyfriend, school friend or work colleague.</p> -<p>You may think that all they need is an education in brain plasticity and that PMO (including even masturbation) acts like a virus in their brain programme to convince them they could never become hooked. I find society&rsquo;s failure to prevent our children from becoming addicted to internet porn and other drugs to be the most disturbing of all the many disturbing facets of addiction. I beg you not to be complacent in this matter. It is necessary to protect youngsters as their brain is more plastic at that age. I strongly urge you to read the YBOP book and educate yourself of the brain science. Even if you suspect your teenager might lready be hooked, the book will provide excellent guidance to assist in gaining understanding for someone to escape.</p> +<p>You may think that all they need is an education in brain plasticity and that PMO (including even masturbation) acts like a virus in their brain programme to convince them they could never become hooked. I find society&rsquo;s failure to prevent our children from becoming addicted to internet porn and other drugs to be the most disturbing of all the many disturbing facets of addiction. I beg you not to be complacent in this matter. It is necessary to protect youngsters as their brain is more plastic at that age. I strongly urge you to read the YBOP book and educate yourself of the brain science. Even if you suspect your teenager might already be hooked, the book will provide excellent guidance to assist in gaining understanding for someone to escape.</p> <div class="footnotes" role="doc-endnotes"> <hr> <ol> @@ -3533,7 +3533,7 @@ Get out of the habit of envying PMOers and start seeing them as the miserable, p <p><strong>RC</strong> - reward circuits.&#160;<a href="#fnref:1" class="footnote-backref" role="doc-backlink">&#x21a9;&#xfe0e;</a></p> </li> <li id="fn:2"> -<p><strong>Regulation</strong> - Up and down regulation is a natural reactionary process of the brain to adjust receptors and or their neuro-transmitters based on the level that is present.&#160;<a href="#fnref:2" class="footnote-backref" role="doc-backlink">&#x21a9;&#xfe0e;</a></p> +<p><strong>Regulation</strong> - Up and down regulation is a natural reactionary process of the brain to adjust receptors and or their neurotransmitters based on the level that is present.&#160;<a href="#fnref:2" class="footnote-backref" role="doc-backlink">&#x21a9;&#xfe0e;</a></p> </li> </ol> </div> @@ -3758,7 +3758,7 @@ Get out of the habit of envying PMOers and start seeing them as the miserable, p <p>The fact that it took you twenty years to reach that state is irrelevant. So it is with PMOing. If I could immediately transfer you into your mind and body to give you a direct comparison on how you would feel having stopped internet porn for just three weeks, that is all I would need to do to persuade you to quit. You would think: “Will I really feel this good?” Or what it really amounts to: “Had I really sunk that low?” I emphasize that I don&rsquo;t just mean that you would feel healthier and have more energy but how you would also feel more confident and relaxed and better able to concentrate.</p> <p>As a teenager, I can remember rushing around just for the hell of it. I was interested in reading, I had set up a chemical lab, tried fixing (old CRT) TVs, dabbled with cooking etc. I was fascinated by scientists. Then I got attracted to makers and doers of the rag-to-riches lives of real people. I had the inner push and I knew I had it.</p> <p>I then was introduced to print porn, then came music TV channels, followed by static computer images. By this time I was permanently tired and lethargic. Then came internet porn of images and downloadable movies. I used to struggle to wake up at nine o&rsquo;clock in the morning. After my evening meal I would already be thinking about porn before going to bed, even when I had a girlfriend. Sex with her was a ‘chore’. But PMO with internet porn had all the novelty, shock, etc. No one can match that lure. And then the internet upped its game with tube sites, catalogued porn genres, ‘hearting’ favorites and all in lightning speed, high quality, no traces of downloads. Even the browsers went incognito, thoroughly helping me to cover my tracks. Reward with no pains.</p> -<p>By this time, the lack of energy, tiredness and everything related to it is nicely swept under the rug of ‘getting’ older. My friends and colleagues by this time are all living sedentary lifestyles. I hought this behaviour was normal. I believed that energy was the exclusive prerogative of children and teenagers, and that old age began in the early twenties. I did not notice that I was paying attention to my health in general by eating right - which they did not. But I did not notice that anomaly.</p> +<p>By this time, the lack of energy, tiredness and everything related to it is nicely swept under the rug of ‘getting’ older. My friends and colleagues by this time are all living sedentary lifestyles. I thought this behaviour was normal. I believed that energy was the exclusive prerogative of children and teenagers, and that old age began in the early twenties. I did not notice that I was paying attention to my health in general by eating right - which they did not. But I did not notice that anomaly.</p> <p>Shortly after I stopped PMO, I was relieved that this foggy and muggy feeling left me. For example, I can keep a steady gaze with my eyes on just about anything for a longer time. If I am looking into someone’s eyes it is even longer. However something truly marvellous and unexpected also happened. I started waking at seven o&rsquo;clock in the morning feeling completely rested and full of energy, actually wanting to exercise, jog and swim. I have read about a forty-eight year old who couldn&rsquo;t run a step or swim a stroke. The only sporting activities were confined to such dynamic pursuits as green bowling, affectionately referred to as “the old man&rsquo;s game,” and golf, for which he had to use a motorized cart. But after quitting PMO he started going to gym - not that it is necessary that everyone would - but still. Almost all us know that it&rsquo;s great to have energy and when you feel physically and mentally strong, it feels great to be alive.</p> <p>That is the point with PMOing - you are always debiting your energy. And in that process tampering with your brain codes of the reward circuit. Which again is going to make you miserable and vulnerable to stress and strain attacks. Unfortunately when you feel down with all of this you will seek a cigarette or alcohol or again porn. Unlike quitting smoking, where the return of your physical and mental health is only gradual, quitting PMO gives you excellent results from day one. Starting with energy. Then your mental programming to close the ‘water slides’ takes a bit of time. You need to kill the Little Monster - which will be explained in later chapters. Recovering your RC is nothing like as slow as the slide into the pit and if you are going through the trauma of the willpower method of quitting, any health or energy gains will be obliterated by the depression you will be going through. Unfortunately, I cannot immediately transfer you into your mind and body in three weeks&rsquo; time. But you can! You know instinctively that what I am telling you is correct. All you need to do is: USE YOUR IMAGINATION!</p> @@ -4028,7 +4028,7 @@ pleasure.”</em></p> <p>Every time I hear a porn addict trying to justify his addiction the message is, “Oh, it calms me. It helps me to relax.”</p> <p>On the Internet I read about a single dad whose 6 year old son would want to share his bed sometimes in the night after a scary movie yet the dad would refuse under some pretence so he can have his PMO session and edge for hours.</p> <p>Let me try a smoking analogy here&hellip; a couple of years ago, the adoption authorities threatened to prevent smokers from adopting children. A man rang up, irate. He said, “you are completely wrong. I can remember when I was a child, if I had a contentious matter to raise with my mother, I would wait until she lit a cigarette because she was more relaxed then.” Why couldn&rsquo;t he talk to his mother when she wasn&rsquo;t smoking a cigarette?</p> -<p>Why are PMOers so stressd when they are not getting their fix, even after a real sex with a real woman? I read about a guy who has 9&rsquo;s and 10&rsquo;s open for dating with him as he was in the advertising field. I am talking about dinner and stuff only - but he lost interest in those dinners as his Internet porn is far more ‘easy’ for him - no restaurant spending and no hearing a ‘no’ from his date at the end of an evening. Why would he bother when his little monster tells him about the low-risk high-reward scheme called PMO that is at his fingertips when he reaches home? Those real girls sure have competition.</p> +<p>Why are PMOers so stressed when they are not getting their fix, even after a real sex with a real woman? I read about a guy who has 9&rsquo;s and 10&rsquo;s open for dating with him as he was in the advertising field. I am talking about dinner and stuff only - but he lost interest in those dinners as his Internet porn is far more ‘easy’ for him - no restaurant spending and no hearing a ‘no’ from his date at the end of an evening. Why would he bother when his little monster tells him about the low-risk high-reward scheme called PMO that is at his fingertips when he reaches home? Those real girls sure have competition.</p> <p>Why are non-PMOers completely relaxed then? Why are PMOers not able to relax without a fix for a day or two? If you read about the experience of a PMOer taking the abstinence oath and quitting and you notice his struggle with the temptations. You can clearly see that they are not relaxed at all when they are not allowed to have the ‘only pleasure’ they are “entitled to enjoy.” They&rsquo;ve forgotten what it feels like to be completely relaxed. That&rsquo;s one of the many joys you have to come. The whole business of PMOing can be likened to a fly being caught in a pitcher plant. To begin with, the fly is eating the nectar. At some imperceptible stage the plant begins to eat the fly.</p> <p>Isn&rsquo;t it time you climbed out of that plant?</p> @@ -4251,9 +4251,9 @@ became addicted. However, the satisfaction is only temporary because in order to <p>We talk about internet porn being relaxing or giving satisfaction. But how can you be satisfied unless you were dissatisfied in the first place? Why don&rsquo;t non-PMOer suffer from this dissatisfied state and why, after a no-sex date, when the non-PMOers are completely relaxed, are PMOers completely unrelaxed until they have satisfied their &rsquo;little monster&rsquo;?</p> <h2 id="a-pleasure-or-crutch">A Pleasure or Crutch? <a class="anchor" href="#a-pleasure-or-crutch"> <span class="spanForHeader">¶</span> -</a></h2><p>Forgive me if I dwell on this subject for a moment. The main reason that PMOers find it difficult to quit is that they believe that they are giving up a genuine pleasure or crutch. It is absolutely essential to understand that you are giving up nothing whatsoever. The best way to understand the subtleties of the PMO trap is to compare it with eating. If we are in the habit of eating regular meals, we are not aware of being hungry between meals. Only if the meal is delayed are we aware of being hungry, and even then, there is no physical pain, just an empty, insecure feeling which we know as: &lsquo;I need to eat.&rsquo; And the process of satisfying our hunger is a very pleasantpastime.</p> +</a></h2><p>Forgive me if I dwell on this subject for a moment. The main reason that PMOers find it difficult to quit is that they believe that they are giving up a genuine pleasure or crutch. It is absolutely essential to understand that you are giving up nothing whatsoever. The best way to understand the subtleties of the PMO trap is to compare it with eating. If we are in the habit of eating regular meals, we are not aware of being hungry between meals. Only if the meal is delayed are we aware of being hungry, and even then, there is no physical pain, just an empty, insecure feeling which we know as: &lsquo;I need to eat.&rsquo; And the process of satisfying our hunger is a very pleasant pastime.</p> <p>PMOing appears to be almost identical. The empty, insecure feeling which we know as: &lsquo;wanting or needing an PMO orgasm’ is identical to a hunger for food, although one will not satisfy the other. Like hunger, there is no physical pain and the feeling is so imperceptible that we are not even aware of it between PMO sessions. It&rsquo;s only if we want to masturbate and aren&rsquo;t able to reach internet for porn that we become aware of any discomfort. But when we do PMO we feel satisfied.</p> -<p>It is this similarity to eating which helps to fool PMOers into believing that they receive some genuine pleasure. Some PMOers find it very difficult to grasp that there is no pleasure or crutch, whatsoever to PMO. Some argue: “How can you say there is no crutch? When I orgasm up then I&rsquo;llfeel less nervous than before.”</p> +<p>It is this similarity to eating which helps to fool PMOers into believing that they receive some genuine pleasure. Some PMOers find it very difficult to grasp that there is no pleasure or crutch, whatsoever to PMO. Some argue: “How can you say there is no crutch? When I orgasm up then I&rsquo;ll feel less nervous than before.”</p> <p>Although eating and PMOing appear to be very similar. In fact they are exact opposites:</p> <ol> <li>You eat to survive and to energize your life, whereas PMOing dims your mojo and cuts down your energy.</li> @@ -4379,7 +4379,7 @@ became addicted. However, the satisfaction is only temporary because in order to <p>All PMOers feel that something evil has got possession of them. In the early days it is a question of, “I am going to stop, not today but tomorrow.” Eventually we get to the stage where we think either that we haven&rsquo;t got the willpower or that there is something inherent in the whole PMO that we must have in order to enjoy life.</p> <p>As I said previously, the problem is not explaining why it is easy to stop; it is explaining why it is difficult. In fact, the real problem is explaining scientifically why anybody does it even after getting the insights on the neurological damages of addictions not limited to porn.</p> <p>The whole business of porn is an extraordinary enigma. One of the reasons we get on to it is because of the thousands of people are already into it, about 35% of the population approximately. Yet every one of them wishes he or she had not started in the first place, telling us that life is like driving in second gear. We cannot quite believe they are not enjoying it. We associate it with freedom or being “sex-educated” and work hard to become hooked ourselves. We then spend the rest of our lives telling others not to do it and trying to kick the habit ourselves.</p> -<p>We also spend the rest of our lives feeling hopeless and miserable. Time spent on porn can accumulate to a large percentage of our life in this planet! What do we do with that amount of time spent? We ‘educate’ ourselves with supranormal<sup id="fnref:1"><a href="#fn:1" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">1</a></sup> ‘material’ that makes us stupidly prefer and childishly long for these cold images - even when warm real ones are available. By the constant surge and drop of dopamine induced by PMO, we sentence ourselves to a lifetime of irritability, anger, frustration, stress, fatigue<sup id="fnref:2"><a href="#fn:2" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">2</a></sup>, PIED, hypofrontality etc. In short, it is a lifetime of slavery. It is logically and intuitively clear that amative sex (physical touch, feel, voice etc.) is the best part of sex and is even better (if Karezza<sup id="fnref:3"><a href="#fn:3" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">3</a></sup> is practised, although not necessary for the current purposes) than the propagative (orgasm) part, except when children are desired. So, when we use porn in the absence of the best part of sex we feel miserable and guilty.</p> +<p>We also spend the rest of our lives feeling hopeless and miserable. Time spent on porn can accumulate to a large percentage of our life in this planet! What do we do with that amount of time spent? We ‘educate’ ourselves with supranormal<sup id="fnref:1"><a href="#fn:1" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">1</a></sup> ‘material’ that makes us stupidly prefer and childishly long for these cold images - even when warm real ones are available. By the constant surge and drop of dopamine induced by PMO, we sentence ourselves to a lifetime of irritability, anger, frustration, stress, fatigue<sup id="fnref:2"><a href="#fn:2" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">2</a></sup>, PIED, hypofrontality etc. In short, it is a lifetime of slavery. It is logically and intuitively clear that amative sex (physical touch, feel, voice etc.) is the best part of sex and is even better (if Karezza<sup id="fnref:3"><a href="#fn:3" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">3</a></sup> is practiced, although not necessary for the current purposes) than the propagative (orgasm) part, except when children are desired. So, when we use porn in the absence of the best part of sex we feel miserable and guilty.</p> <p>In fact, all the reading about internet pornography&rsquo;s addictive capabilities and it’s destructive effects here and in other online sites makes us even more nervous and hopeless. When we are trying to cut down or stop, we end up feeling deprived. We wish we didn&rsquo;t have to. What sort of hobby is it that when you are doing it you wish you weren&rsquo;t, and when you are not doing it you crave for it? A lifetime of an otherwise intelligent, rational human being going through life in contempt.</p> <p>The PMOer despises himself, every time he has an unreliable erection, a fading penetration, reading about PIED and other stuff on the YBOP forum, every time he could not pull himself up to exercise after a daytime PMO, every PMO behind his or her trustfully asleep partner’s back, every time he sees his tired face and lifeless eyes in the restroom mirror.</p> <p>Having to go through life with these awful black shadows at the back of his mind, what does he get out of it? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! Pleasure? Enjoyment? Relaxation? A prop? A boost? All illusions, unless you consider the wearing of tight shoes to enjoy the removal of them as some sort of pleasure!</p> @@ -4468,9 +4468,9 @@ man and woman from performance based anxieties.&#160;<a href="#fnref: <span class="spanForHeader">¶</span> </a></h2><p>Perhaps I should begin by describing my competence for writing this book. No, I am not a doctor or a psychiatrist; my qualifications are far more appropriate. I spent thirty years of my life as a confirmed fapper. In the later years I used porn on a daily bases to get orgasm(s).During my life I had made a great number of attempts to stop. I never got past a full week of abstinence, and I was still climbing up the wall, with an “annoying alarm clock beeping” in my head called craving. With most PMOers, on the health side, it&rsquo;s a question of “ I&rsquo;ll stop before it happens to me.” I had reached the stage where I knew it has caused PIED, hypofrontality (inability to control and execute action towards a goal), irritability, lack of energy, soulless eyes, mental dryness, stress and pain in the lower back, genital irritations. It bothered me, but it still didn&rsquo;t stop me.</p> <p>I felt lack of enthusiasm to go to gym or just a walk even if it’s sunny outside or simple weight lifting at home either. I had reached the stage where I gave up even trying to stop. I found excuses in substitute methods (controlled use, safe porn, porn-diet and etc. discussed later) as advocated by sexologists, forum users and medical pros - who have no idea of its effect on brain chemistry and who are themselves fooled by their &rsquo;little monster&rsquo; (not devil or satan - we will talk about monsters later) . The novelty trap and shock value provided by internet porn delivered at home with a low risk high reward deal is something that they can’t even think of. They are still in the static playboy era. And the younger ones have buried their heads under the sand so they can still continue to PMO.</p> -<p>The worst part is it was not so much that I enjoyed the PMO. It was just doing it routinely, a chore - like slipping down the water slides, in fact there are brain water slides greased well by the neuro chemicals (DeltaFosB proteins made by dopamine which store emotion scripts for easy recall, will be discussing later). A simple cue such as a commercial, or a day to day stress that got ‘relieved’ temporarily by PMO is all it takes to complete the ride down the ‘waterslide’. Some time in their lives most PMOers have suffered from the illusion that they enjoy the ride, the novelty, the rush and of course the orgasm, but I never had that illusion.</p> +<p>The worst part is it was not so much that I enjoyed the PMO. It was just doing it routinely, a chore - like slipping down the water slides, in fact there are brain water slides greased well by the neurochemicals (DeltaFosB proteins made by dopamine which store emotion scripts for easy recall, will be discussing later). A simple cue such as a commercial, or a day to day stress that got ‘relieved’ temporarily by PMO is all it takes to complete the ride down the ‘waterslide’. Some time in their lives most PMOers have suffered from the illusion that they enjoy the ride, the novelty, the rush and of course the orgasm, but I never had that illusion.</p> <p>I have most times detested the porn, even when I liked the orgasm. But at all times I thought a release from PMO helped me to relax. It gave me courage and confidence, and I was always miserable when I tried to stop, never being able to visualize an enjoyable life without PMO. And so my PMO habit which had started before my marriage stayed with me during and after my marriage was over. I had experienced PIED but I blocked it out and found excuses , “it happens to every man”. Well it does of course - but &lsquo;it&rsquo; happened to me again and again. My penis, I found it difficult to get hard - when I am with real woman. Could it be because I had habituated it to work in limp mode? Later I found that it was hard for me to get hard even with porn.</p> -<p>My girlfriend gave a book by Dr David Burns - which I liked very much. I also practised the exercises and got interested in it. Through the book I came to know of Dr. Abraham Low and his books on rational therapy - it is now known as Recovery International. At the same time - my soon to be ex-wife also sent me to a therapist. I completed therapy - and was getting out of my mental rut and started a new beginning in my life. I continued my reading and self education from the above two authors and started to read about REBT and Dr. Albert Ellis. I poured into all of his books and got myself well trained in REBT. I still practice it on a daily bases. I do ABC write ups (and DE and F as well)<sup id="fnref:1"><a href="#fn:1" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">1</a></sup> and actively journal my daily endorsements. I keep my DML (daily mood logs) and Endorse documents in an online spreadsheet.</p> +<p>My girlfriend gave a book by Dr David Burns - which I liked very much. I also practiced the exercises and got interested in it. Through the book I came to know of Dr. Abraham Low and his books on rational therapy - it is now known as Recovery International. At the same time - my soon to be ex-wife also sent me to a therapist. I completed therapy - and was getting out of my mental rut and started a new beginning in my life. I continued my reading and self education from the above two authors and started to read about REBT and Dr. Albert Ellis. I poured into all of his books and got myself well trained in REBT. I still practice it on a daily bases. I do ABC write ups (and DE and F as well)<sup id="fnref:1"><a href="#fn:1" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">1</a></sup> and actively journal my daily endorsements. I keep my DML (daily mood logs) and Endorse documents in an online spreadsheet.</p> <p>I was able to spot my rigid beliefs, exaggerations, self-rating and low frustration tolerance and immediately self-talk myself to have healthy negative emotions when needed. I was able to get my alcohol intake under control, cigarettes were on and off, and I rode through divorces. The point is that I was able to go through them all with the lowest disturbance in any random test set of divorced 40 yr old guys. However, I was still struggling with the occasional excesses that are inevitable with alcohol. I absolutely hated the cigarettes. I was aware of my (and the little monster&rsquo;s) efforts to dig a hole and hide my head in sand about my daily PMO affecting my sex life. I had two incidences of PIED, and found substitutes in getting a fleshlight to simulate a female vagina and also as a form of stamina training.</p> <p>I then somehow landed on the Amazon page of Allen Carr’s best seller book on how to stop smoking. I used it to quit my smoking by the time I completed the reading. I felt so light and happy about quitting, how can I not be, I don’t have the feelings of misery and self-sacrifice. I don’t even feel the ‘resistance to temptations’ that most feel which taxes their will power. I know I found something that will work for me. Now, cigarettes are not the society’s favourite anyway and it carried a social stigma so that would be easy, right? I then challenged myself to my next problem, alcohol - where my frequent excesses were starting to bother me. I realized that I am finding excuses and minimizing my nasty and shameful drunken behaviours many times. I can also see I am using it as a crutch and also as pleasure - but more of the former. I guess that it has to do my nature of being melancholic. And yes, I was able to kick that habit as well.</p> @@ -4518,7 +4518,7 @@ Do not take anything for granted. Question not only what I tell you but also you <p>Some PUA<sup id="fnref:2"><a href="#fn:2" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">2</a></sup> experts say something like: PMO only once in four days “ Every PMOer knows that it is the one day that most PMOers will do twice as many as they usually do and sometimes they ‘close the shop’ to run home knowing that it is their final day of ‘fasting’ and because no one like being told what to do, particularly by people who dismiss PMOers as mere idiots and don&rsquo;t understand their problem.</p> <p>Because they don&rsquo;t completely understand PMOers themselves or how to make it easy for them to quit, their attitude is &lsquo;Try this method. If it doesn&rsquo;t work try another: Can you imagine if there were ten different ways of treating appendicitis? Nine of them cured 10 per cent of the patients, which means they killed 90 per cent of them and the tenth way cured 95 per cent. Imagine that knowledge of the tenth method had been available for free, but the vast majority of the medical profession was still recommending the other nine.</p> <p>Someone pointed out that doctors might well find themselves liable to a legal action for malpractice, by not advising their patients of the best way to quit. Ironically he was a great advocate of substituting methods (soft porn, solo, nude only, porn-diet etc), I try hard not to be vindictive, but I hope he becomes the first victim of his suggestion.</p> -<p>There are many websites that talk about the harms of PMO. You can find content that explains scientifically the harms of high speed internet porn on the brain. There is much literature and studies of neuro chemicals and the neuroplasticity of the brain and how it is affected by PMO. I read many comments on forums and blogs of how some were able to overcome the addiction. They might just as well have wasted it on trying to persuade their readers that motorbikes can kill you. Do they not realize that youngsters know that one ‘look’ at a tube site won&rsquo;t kill them and that no youngster ever expects to get hooked? The link between porn and PIED porn induced ED, has been established for some time now. Yet more youngsters are becoming hooked nowadays than ever before.</p> +<p>There are many websites that talk about the harms of PMO. You can find content that explains scientifically the harms of high speed internet porn on the brain. There is much literature and studies of neurochemicals and the neuroplasticity of the brain and how it is affected by PMO. I read many comments on forums and blogs of how some were able to overcome the addiction. They might just as well have wasted it on trying to persuade their readers that motorbikes can kill you. Do they not realize that youngsters know that one ‘look’ at a tube site won&rsquo;t kill them and that no youngster ever expects to get hooked? The link between porn and PIED porn induced ED, has been established for some time now. Yet more youngsters are becoming hooked nowadays than ever before.</p> <p>Youngsters don&rsquo;t need to be preached on the harms of PIED, hypofrontality, dopamine surge and the resulting cutting down of the associated dopamine receptors. Young and old PMOers tend to avoid such materials anyway. Practically every subscriber and reader of sites such as YBOP knows the brain science and the self-sabotage nature of PMO. I myself has seen the damages in my personal life. On a more serious note, two men in my own family had MO addiction ( porn was not prevalent 20 yrs ago) and I can see how they were peevish and melancholic when they felt deprived or guilty related to their MO. But that didn&rsquo;t prevent me from falling into the trap.</p> <p>However, the snowball won&rsquo;t become an avalanche until the medical profession and the media stop recommending methods that make it harder to quit and accept that EASYPEASYWAY is not just another method: BUT THE ONLY SENSIBLE METHOD TO USE! I don&rsquo;t expect you to believe me at this stage, but by the time you have finished the book, you will understand.</p> <p>Even the comparatively few failures that we have say something like: &lsquo;I haven&rsquo;t succeeded yet, but your way is better than any I know.&rsquo; If when you finish the book, you feel that you owe me a debt of gratitude, you can more than repay that debt. Not just by recommending EASYPEASYWAY to your friends, but whenever you see or read an article advocating some other method, email to them asking why they aren&rsquo;t advocating EASYWAY.</p> @@ -4574,8 +4574,7 @@ easy to quit.</p> <li>It takes willpower to quit</li> <li>Once an addict always an addict</li> <li>Telling PMOers that it will turn them into robots will make them to quit</li> -<li>Substitutes, particularly soft porn, reality porn, solo naked only porn etc.. and training toys -such as fleshlight, helps PMOers to regain their full unfading erections.</li> +<li>Substitutes, particularly soft porn, reality porn, solo naked only porn etc.. and training toys such as fleshlight, helps PMOers to regain their full unfading erections.</li> <li>All porn is same in their rate of addictiveness</li> <li>In particular, when I had dispelled the illusion that it is difficult to quit and that you have to go through a transitional period of misery in order to do so, I naively thought that the rest of diff --git a/new-site/public/tags/ted-kaczynski/index.xml b/new-site/public/tags/ted-kaczynski/index.xml index 3e77f661..5bdfa5ed 100644 --- a/new-site/public/tags/ted-kaczynski/index.xml +++ b/new-site/public/tags/ted-kaczynski/index.xml @@ -3525,7 +3525,7 @@ Get out of the habit of envying PMOers and start seeing them as the miserable, p </blockquote> <p>Teenagers are generally more difficult to cure, not because they find it difficult to stop but because either they do not believe they are hooked or they are at the primary stage of the trap and suffer from the delusion that they will automatically have stopped before the secondary stage.</p> <p>I would like particularly to warn parents of children who loathe internet porn not to have a false sense of security. All children loathe the dark sides of porn until they become hooked. You did too at one time. Also do not be fooled by scare campaigns. The trap is the same as it always was. Children know that internet porn is supranormal stimuli but they also know that one ‘visit’ or ‘peek’ will not do it. At some stage they may be influenced by a girlfriend or boyfriend, school friend or work colleague.</p> -<p>You may think that all they need is an education in brain plasticity and that PMO (including even masturbation) acts like a virus in their brain programme to convince them they could never become hooked. I find society&rsquo;s failure to prevent our children from becoming addicted to internet porn and other drugs to be the most disturbing of all the many disturbing facets of addiction. I beg you not to be complacent in this matter. It is necessary to protect youngsters as their brain is more plastic at that age. I strongly urge you to read the YBOP book and educate yourself of the brain science. Even if you suspect your teenager might lready be hooked, the book will provide excellent guidance to assist in gaining understanding for someone to escape.</p> +<p>You may think that all they need is an education in brain plasticity and that PMO (including even masturbation) acts like a virus in their brain programme to convince them they could never become hooked. I find society&rsquo;s failure to prevent our children from becoming addicted to internet porn and other drugs to be the most disturbing of all the many disturbing facets of addiction. I beg you not to be complacent in this matter. It is necessary to protect youngsters as their brain is more plastic at that age. I strongly urge you to read the YBOP book and educate yourself of the brain science. Even if you suspect your teenager might already be hooked, the book will provide excellent guidance to assist in gaining understanding for someone to escape.</p> <div class="footnotes" role="doc-endnotes"> <hr> <ol> @@ -3533,7 +3533,7 @@ Get out of the habit of envying PMOers and start seeing them as the miserable, p <p><strong>RC</strong> - reward circuits.&#160;<a href="#fnref:1" class="footnote-backref" role="doc-backlink">&#x21a9;&#xfe0e;</a></p> </li> <li id="fn:2"> -<p><strong>Regulation</strong> - Up and down regulation is a natural reactionary process of the brain to adjust receptors and or their neuro-transmitters based on the level that is present.&#160;<a href="#fnref:2" class="footnote-backref" role="doc-backlink">&#x21a9;&#xfe0e;</a></p> +<p><strong>Regulation</strong> - Up and down regulation is a natural reactionary process of the brain to adjust receptors and or their neurotransmitters based on the level that is present.&#160;<a href="#fnref:2" class="footnote-backref" role="doc-backlink">&#x21a9;&#xfe0e;</a></p> </li> </ol> </div> @@ -3758,7 +3758,7 @@ Get out of the habit of envying PMOers and start seeing them as the miserable, p <p>The fact that it took you twenty years to reach that state is irrelevant. So it is with PMOing. If I could immediately transfer you into your mind and body to give you a direct comparison on how you would feel having stopped internet porn for just three weeks, that is all I would need to do to persuade you to quit. You would think: “Will I really feel this good?” Or what it really amounts to: “Had I really sunk that low?” I emphasize that I don&rsquo;t just mean that you would feel healthier and have more energy but how you would also feel more confident and relaxed and better able to concentrate.</p> <p>As a teenager, I can remember rushing around just for the hell of it. I was interested in reading, I had set up a chemical lab, tried fixing (old CRT) TVs, dabbled with cooking etc. I was fascinated by scientists. Then I got attracted to makers and doers of the rag-to-riches lives of real people. I had the inner push and I knew I had it.</p> <p>I then was introduced to print porn, then came music TV channels, followed by static computer images. By this time I was permanently tired and lethargic. Then came internet porn of images and downloadable movies. I used to struggle to wake up at nine o&rsquo;clock in the morning. After my evening meal I would already be thinking about porn before going to bed, even when I had a girlfriend. Sex with her was a ‘chore’. But PMO with internet porn had all the novelty, shock, etc. No one can match that lure. And then the internet upped its game with tube sites, catalogued porn genres, ‘hearting’ favorites and all in lightning speed, high quality, no traces of downloads. Even the browsers went incognito, thoroughly helping me to cover my tracks. Reward with no pains.</p> -<p>By this time, the lack of energy, tiredness and everything related to it is nicely swept under the rug of ‘getting’ older. My friends and colleagues by this time are all living sedentary lifestyles. I hought this behaviour was normal. I believed that energy was the exclusive prerogative of children and teenagers, and that old age began in the early twenties. I did not notice that I was paying attention to my health in general by eating right - which they did not. But I did not notice that anomaly.</p> +<p>By this time, the lack of energy, tiredness and everything related to it is nicely swept under the rug of ‘getting’ older. My friends and colleagues by this time are all living sedentary lifestyles. I thought this behaviour was normal. I believed that energy was the exclusive prerogative of children and teenagers, and that old age began in the early twenties. I did not notice that I was paying attention to my health in general by eating right - which they did not. But I did not notice that anomaly.</p> <p>Shortly after I stopped PMO, I was relieved that this foggy and muggy feeling left me. For example, I can keep a steady gaze with my eyes on just about anything for a longer time. If I am looking into someone’s eyes it is even longer. However something truly marvellous and unexpected also happened. I started waking at seven o&rsquo;clock in the morning feeling completely rested and full of energy, actually wanting to exercise, jog and swim. I have read about a forty-eight year old who couldn&rsquo;t run a step or swim a stroke. The only sporting activities were confined to such dynamic pursuits as green bowling, affectionately referred to as “the old man&rsquo;s game,” and golf, for which he had to use a motorized cart. But after quitting PMO he started going to gym - not that it is necessary that everyone would - but still. Almost all us know that it&rsquo;s great to have energy and when you feel physically and mentally strong, it feels great to be alive.</p> <p>That is the point with PMOing - you are always debiting your energy. And in that process tampering with your brain codes of the reward circuit. Which again is going to make you miserable and vulnerable to stress and strain attacks. Unfortunately when you feel down with all of this you will seek a cigarette or alcohol or again porn. Unlike quitting smoking, where the return of your physical and mental health is only gradual, quitting PMO gives you excellent results from day one. Starting with energy. Then your mental programming to close the ‘water slides’ takes a bit of time. You need to kill the Little Monster - which will be explained in later chapters. Recovering your RC is nothing like as slow as the slide into the pit and if you are going through the trauma of the willpower method of quitting, any health or energy gains will be obliterated by the depression you will be going through. Unfortunately, I cannot immediately transfer you into your mind and body in three weeks&rsquo; time. But you can! You know instinctively that what I am telling you is correct. All you need to do is: USE YOUR IMAGINATION!</p> @@ -4028,7 +4028,7 @@ pleasure.”</em></p> <p>Every time I hear a porn addict trying to justify his addiction the message is, “Oh, it calms me. It helps me to relax.”</p> <p>On the Internet I read about a single dad whose 6 year old son would want to share his bed sometimes in the night after a scary movie yet the dad would refuse under some pretence so he can have his PMO session and edge for hours.</p> <p>Let me try a smoking analogy here&hellip; a couple of years ago, the adoption authorities threatened to prevent smokers from adopting children. A man rang up, irate. He said, “you are completely wrong. I can remember when I was a child, if I had a contentious matter to raise with my mother, I would wait until she lit a cigarette because she was more relaxed then.” Why couldn&rsquo;t he talk to his mother when she wasn&rsquo;t smoking a cigarette?</p> -<p>Why are PMOers so stressd when they are not getting their fix, even after a real sex with a real woman? I read about a guy who has 9&rsquo;s and 10&rsquo;s open for dating with him as he was in the advertising field. I am talking about dinner and stuff only - but he lost interest in those dinners as his Internet porn is far more ‘easy’ for him - no restaurant spending and no hearing a ‘no’ from his date at the end of an evening. Why would he bother when his little monster tells him about the low-risk high-reward scheme called PMO that is at his fingertips when he reaches home? Those real girls sure have competition.</p> +<p>Why are PMOers so stressed when they are not getting their fix, even after a real sex with a real woman? I read about a guy who has 9&rsquo;s and 10&rsquo;s open for dating with him as he was in the advertising field. I am talking about dinner and stuff only - but he lost interest in those dinners as his Internet porn is far more ‘easy’ for him - no restaurant spending and no hearing a ‘no’ from his date at the end of an evening. Why would he bother when his little monster tells him about the low-risk high-reward scheme called PMO that is at his fingertips when he reaches home? Those real girls sure have competition.</p> <p>Why are non-PMOers completely relaxed then? Why are PMOers not able to relax without a fix for a day or two? If you read about the experience of a PMOer taking the abstinence oath and quitting and you notice his struggle with the temptations. You can clearly see that they are not relaxed at all when they are not allowed to have the ‘only pleasure’ they are “entitled to enjoy.” They&rsquo;ve forgotten what it feels like to be completely relaxed. That&rsquo;s one of the many joys you have to come. The whole business of PMOing can be likened to a fly being caught in a pitcher plant. To begin with, the fly is eating the nectar. At some imperceptible stage the plant begins to eat the fly.</p> <p>Isn&rsquo;t it time you climbed out of that plant?</p> @@ -4251,9 +4251,9 @@ became addicted. However, the satisfaction is only temporary because in order to <p>We talk about internet porn being relaxing or giving satisfaction. But how can you be satisfied unless you were dissatisfied in the first place? Why don&rsquo;t non-PMOer suffer from this dissatisfied state and why, after a no-sex date, when the non-PMOers are completely relaxed, are PMOers completely unrelaxed until they have satisfied their &rsquo;little monster&rsquo;?</p> <h2 id="a-pleasure-or-crutch">A Pleasure or Crutch? <a class="anchor" href="#a-pleasure-or-crutch"> <span class="spanForHeader">¶</span> -</a></h2><p>Forgive me if I dwell on this subject for a moment. The main reason that PMOers find it difficult to quit is that they believe that they are giving up a genuine pleasure or crutch. It is absolutely essential to understand that you are giving up nothing whatsoever. The best way to understand the subtleties of the PMO trap is to compare it with eating. If we are in the habit of eating regular meals, we are not aware of being hungry between meals. Only if the meal is delayed are we aware of being hungry, and even then, there is no physical pain, just an empty, insecure feeling which we know as: &lsquo;I need to eat.&rsquo; And the process of satisfying our hunger is a very pleasantpastime.</p> +</a></h2><p>Forgive me if I dwell on this subject for a moment. The main reason that PMOers find it difficult to quit is that they believe that they are giving up a genuine pleasure or crutch. It is absolutely essential to understand that you are giving up nothing whatsoever. The best way to understand the subtleties of the PMO trap is to compare it with eating. If we are in the habit of eating regular meals, we are not aware of being hungry between meals. Only if the meal is delayed are we aware of being hungry, and even then, there is no physical pain, just an empty, insecure feeling which we know as: &lsquo;I need to eat.&rsquo; And the process of satisfying our hunger is a very pleasant pastime.</p> <p>PMOing appears to be almost identical. The empty, insecure feeling which we know as: &lsquo;wanting or needing an PMO orgasm’ is identical to a hunger for food, although one will not satisfy the other. Like hunger, there is no physical pain and the feeling is so imperceptible that we are not even aware of it between PMO sessions. It&rsquo;s only if we want to masturbate and aren&rsquo;t able to reach internet for porn that we become aware of any discomfort. But when we do PMO we feel satisfied.</p> -<p>It is this similarity to eating which helps to fool PMOers into believing that they receive some genuine pleasure. Some PMOers find it very difficult to grasp that there is no pleasure or crutch, whatsoever to PMO. Some argue: “How can you say there is no crutch? When I orgasm up then I&rsquo;llfeel less nervous than before.”</p> +<p>It is this similarity to eating which helps to fool PMOers into believing that they receive some genuine pleasure. Some PMOers find it very difficult to grasp that there is no pleasure or crutch, whatsoever to PMO. Some argue: “How can you say there is no crutch? When I orgasm up then I&rsquo;ll feel less nervous than before.”</p> <p>Although eating and PMOing appear to be very similar. In fact they are exact opposites:</p> <ol> <li>You eat to survive and to energize your life, whereas PMOing dims your mojo and cuts down your energy.</li> @@ -4379,7 +4379,7 @@ became addicted. However, the satisfaction is only temporary because in order to <p>All PMOers feel that something evil has got possession of them. In the early days it is a question of, “I am going to stop, not today but tomorrow.” Eventually we get to the stage where we think either that we haven&rsquo;t got the willpower or that there is something inherent in the whole PMO that we must have in order to enjoy life.</p> <p>As I said previously, the problem is not explaining why it is easy to stop; it is explaining why it is difficult. In fact, the real problem is explaining scientifically why anybody does it even after getting the insights on the neurological damages of addictions not limited to porn.</p> <p>The whole business of porn is an extraordinary enigma. One of the reasons we get on to it is because of the thousands of people are already into it, about 35% of the population approximately. Yet every one of them wishes he or she had not started in the first place, telling us that life is like driving in second gear. We cannot quite believe they are not enjoying it. We associate it with freedom or being “sex-educated” and work hard to become hooked ourselves. We then spend the rest of our lives telling others not to do it and trying to kick the habit ourselves.</p> -<p>We also spend the rest of our lives feeling hopeless and miserable. Time spent on porn can accumulate to a large percentage of our life in this planet! What do we do with that amount of time spent? We ‘educate’ ourselves with supranormal<sup id="fnref:1"><a href="#fn:1" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">1</a></sup> ‘material’ that makes us stupidly prefer and childishly long for these cold images - even when warm real ones are available. By the constant surge and drop of dopamine induced by PMO, we sentence ourselves to a lifetime of irritability, anger, frustration, stress, fatigue<sup id="fnref:2"><a href="#fn:2" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">2</a></sup>, PIED, hypofrontality etc. In short, it is a lifetime of slavery. It is logically and intuitively clear that amative sex (physical touch, feel, voice etc.) is the best part of sex and is even better (if Karezza<sup id="fnref:3"><a href="#fn:3" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">3</a></sup> is practised, although not necessary for the current purposes) than the propagative (orgasm) part, except when children are desired. So, when we use porn in the absence of the best part of sex we feel miserable and guilty.</p> +<p>We also spend the rest of our lives feeling hopeless and miserable. Time spent on porn can accumulate to a large percentage of our life in this planet! What do we do with that amount of time spent? We ‘educate’ ourselves with supranormal<sup id="fnref:1"><a href="#fn:1" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">1</a></sup> ‘material’ that makes us stupidly prefer and childishly long for these cold images - even when warm real ones are available. By the constant surge and drop of dopamine induced by PMO, we sentence ourselves to a lifetime of irritability, anger, frustration, stress, fatigue<sup id="fnref:2"><a href="#fn:2" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">2</a></sup>, PIED, hypofrontality etc. In short, it is a lifetime of slavery. It is logically and intuitively clear that amative sex (physical touch, feel, voice etc.) is the best part of sex and is even better (if Karezza<sup id="fnref:3"><a href="#fn:3" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">3</a></sup> is practiced, although not necessary for the current purposes) than the propagative (orgasm) part, except when children are desired. So, when we use porn in the absence of the best part of sex we feel miserable and guilty.</p> <p>In fact, all the reading about internet pornography&rsquo;s addictive capabilities and it’s destructive effects here and in other online sites makes us even more nervous and hopeless. When we are trying to cut down or stop, we end up feeling deprived. We wish we didn&rsquo;t have to. What sort of hobby is it that when you are doing it you wish you weren&rsquo;t, and when you are not doing it you crave for it? A lifetime of an otherwise intelligent, rational human being going through life in contempt.</p> <p>The PMOer despises himself, every time he has an unreliable erection, a fading penetration, reading about PIED and other stuff on the YBOP forum, every time he could not pull himself up to exercise after a daytime PMO, every PMO behind his or her trustfully asleep partner’s back, every time he sees his tired face and lifeless eyes in the restroom mirror.</p> <p>Having to go through life with these awful black shadows at the back of his mind, what does he get out of it? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! Pleasure? Enjoyment? Relaxation? A prop? A boost? All illusions, unless you consider the wearing of tight shoes to enjoy the removal of them as some sort of pleasure!</p> @@ -4468,9 +4468,9 @@ man and woman from performance based anxieties.&#160;<a href="#fnref: <span class="spanForHeader">¶</span> </a></h2><p>Perhaps I should begin by describing my competence for writing this book. No, I am not a doctor or a psychiatrist; my qualifications are far more appropriate. I spent thirty years of my life as a confirmed fapper. In the later years I used porn on a daily bases to get orgasm(s).During my life I had made a great number of attempts to stop. I never got past a full week of abstinence, and I was still climbing up the wall, with an “annoying alarm clock beeping” in my head called craving. With most PMOers, on the health side, it&rsquo;s a question of “ I&rsquo;ll stop before it happens to me.” I had reached the stage where I knew it has caused PIED, hypofrontality (inability to control and execute action towards a goal), irritability, lack of energy, soulless eyes, mental dryness, stress and pain in the lower back, genital irritations. It bothered me, but it still didn&rsquo;t stop me.</p> <p>I felt lack of enthusiasm to go to gym or just a walk even if it’s sunny outside or simple weight lifting at home either. I had reached the stage where I gave up even trying to stop. I found excuses in substitute methods (controlled use, safe porn, porn-diet and etc. discussed later) as advocated by sexologists, forum users and medical pros - who have no idea of its effect on brain chemistry and who are themselves fooled by their &rsquo;little monster&rsquo; (not devil or satan - we will talk about monsters later) . The novelty trap and shock value provided by internet porn delivered at home with a low risk high reward deal is something that they can’t even think of. They are still in the static playboy era. And the younger ones have buried their heads under the sand so they can still continue to PMO.</p> -<p>The worst part is it was not so much that I enjoyed the PMO. It was just doing it routinely, a chore - like slipping down the water slides, in fact there are brain water slides greased well by the neuro chemicals (DeltaFosB proteins made by dopamine which store emotion scripts for easy recall, will be discussing later). A simple cue such as a commercial, or a day to day stress that got ‘relieved’ temporarily by PMO is all it takes to complete the ride down the ‘waterslide’. Some time in their lives most PMOers have suffered from the illusion that they enjoy the ride, the novelty, the rush and of course the orgasm, but I never had that illusion.</p> +<p>The worst part is it was not so much that I enjoyed the PMO. It was just doing it routinely, a chore - like slipping down the water slides, in fact there are brain water slides greased well by the neurochemicals (DeltaFosB proteins made by dopamine which store emotion scripts for easy recall, will be discussing later). A simple cue such as a commercial, or a day to day stress that got ‘relieved’ temporarily by PMO is all it takes to complete the ride down the ‘waterslide’. Some time in their lives most PMOers have suffered from the illusion that they enjoy the ride, the novelty, the rush and of course the orgasm, but I never had that illusion.</p> <p>I have most times detested the porn, even when I liked the orgasm. But at all times I thought a release from PMO helped me to relax. It gave me courage and confidence, and I was always miserable when I tried to stop, never being able to visualize an enjoyable life without PMO. And so my PMO habit which had started before my marriage stayed with me during and after my marriage was over. I had experienced PIED but I blocked it out and found excuses , “it happens to every man”. Well it does of course - but &lsquo;it&rsquo; happened to me again and again. My penis, I found it difficult to get hard - when I am with real woman. Could it be because I had habituated it to work in limp mode? Later I found that it was hard for me to get hard even with porn.</p> -<p>My girlfriend gave a book by Dr David Burns - which I liked very much. I also practised the exercises and got interested in it. Through the book I came to know of Dr. Abraham Low and his books on rational therapy - it is now known as Recovery International. At the same time - my soon to be ex-wife also sent me to a therapist. I completed therapy - and was getting out of my mental rut and started a new beginning in my life. I continued my reading and self education from the above two authors and started to read about REBT and Dr. Albert Ellis. I poured into all of his books and got myself well trained in REBT. I still practice it on a daily bases. I do ABC write ups (and DE and F as well)<sup id="fnref:1"><a href="#fn:1" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">1</a></sup> and actively journal my daily endorsements. I keep my DML (daily mood logs) and Endorse documents in an online spreadsheet.</p> +<p>My girlfriend gave a book by Dr David Burns - which I liked very much. I also practiced the exercises and got interested in it. Through the book I came to know of Dr. Abraham Low and his books on rational therapy - it is now known as Recovery International. At the same time - my soon to be ex-wife also sent me to a therapist. I completed therapy - and was getting out of my mental rut and started a new beginning in my life. I continued my reading and self education from the above two authors and started to read about REBT and Dr. Albert Ellis. I poured into all of his books and got myself well trained in REBT. I still practice it on a daily bases. I do ABC write ups (and DE and F as well)<sup id="fnref:1"><a href="#fn:1" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">1</a></sup> and actively journal my daily endorsements. I keep my DML (daily mood logs) and Endorse documents in an online spreadsheet.</p> <p>I was able to spot my rigid beliefs, exaggerations, self-rating and low frustration tolerance and immediately self-talk myself to have healthy negative emotions when needed. I was able to get my alcohol intake under control, cigarettes were on and off, and I rode through divorces. The point is that I was able to go through them all with the lowest disturbance in any random test set of divorced 40 yr old guys. However, I was still struggling with the occasional excesses that are inevitable with alcohol. I absolutely hated the cigarettes. I was aware of my (and the little monster&rsquo;s) efforts to dig a hole and hide my head in sand about my daily PMO affecting my sex life. I had two incidences of PIED, and found substitutes in getting a fleshlight to simulate a female vagina and also as a form of stamina training.</p> <p>I then somehow landed on the Amazon page of Allen Carr’s best seller book on how to stop smoking. I used it to quit my smoking by the time I completed the reading. I felt so light and happy about quitting, how can I not be, I don’t have the feelings of misery and self-sacrifice. I don’t even feel the ‘resistance to temptations’ that most feel which taxes their will power. I know I found something that will work for me. Now, cigarettes are not the society’s favourite anyway and it carried a social stigma so that would be easy, right? I then challenged myself to my next problem, alcohol - where my frequent excesses were starting to bother me. I realized that I am finding excuses and minimizing my nasty and shameful drunken behaviours many times. I can also see I am using it as a crutch and also as pleasure - but more of the former. I guess that it has to do my nature of being melancholic. And yes, I was able to kick that habit as well.</p> @@ -4518,7 +4518,7 @@ Do not take anything for granted. Question not only what I tell you but also you <p>Some PUA<sup id="fnref:2"><a href="#fn:2" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">2</a></sup> experts say something like: PMO only once in four days “ Every PMOer knows that it is the one day that most PMOers will do twice as many as they usually do and sometimes they ‘close the shop’ to run home knowing that it is their final day of ‘fasting’ and because no one like being told what to do, particularly by people who dismiss PMOers as mere idiots and don&rsquo;t understand their problem.</p> <p>Because they don&rsquo;t completely understand PMOers themselves or how to make it easy for them to quit, their attitude is &lsquo;Try this method. If it doesn&rsquo;t work try another: Can you imagine if there were ten different ways of treating appendicitis? Nine of them cured 10 per cent of the patients, which means they killed 90 per cent of them and the tenth way cured 95 per cent. Imagine that knowledge of the tenth method had been available for free, but the vast majority of the medical profession was still recommending the other nine.</p> <p>Someone pointed out that doctors might well find themselves liable to a legal action for malpractice, by not advising their patients of the best way to quit. Ironically he was a great advocate of substituting methods (soft porn, solo, nude only, porn-diet etc), I try hard not to be vindictive, but I hope he becomes the first victim of his suggestion.</p> -<p>There are many websites that talk about the harms of PMO. You can find content that explains scientifically the harms of high speed internet porn on the brain. There is much literature and studies of neuro chemicals and the neuroplasticity of the brain and how it is affected by PMO. I read many comments on forums and blogs of how some were able to overcome the addiction. They might just as well have wasted it on trying to persuade their readers that motorbikes can kill you. Do they not realize that youngsters know that one ‘look’ at a tube site won&rsquo;t kill them and that no youngster ever expects to get hooked? The link between porn and PIED porn induced ED, has been established for some time now. Yet more youngsters are becoming hooked nowadays than ever before.</p> +<p>There are many websites that talk about the harms of PMO. You can find content that explains scientifically the harms of high speed internet porn on the brain. There is much literature and studies of neurochemicals and the neuroplasticity of the brain and how it is affected by PMO. I read many comments on forums and blogs of how some were able to overcome the addiction. They might just as well have wasted it on trying to persuade their readers that motorbikes can kill you. Do they not realize that youngsters know that one ‘look’ at a tube site won&rsquo;t kill them and that no youngster ever expects to get hooked? The link between porn and PIED porn induced ED, has been established for some time now. Yet more youngsters are becoming hooked nowadays than ever before.</p> <p>Youngsters don&rsquo;t need to be preached on the harms of PIED, hypofrontality, dopamine surge and the resulting cutting down of the associated dopamine receptors. Young and old PMOers tend to avoid such materials anyway. Practically every subscriber and reader of sites such as YBOP knows the brain science and the self-sabotage nature of PMO. I myself has seen the damages in my personal life. On a more serious note, two men in my own family had MO addiction ( porn was not prevalent 20 yrs ago) and I can see how they were peevish and melancholic when they felt deprived or guilty related to their MO. But that didn&rsquo;t prevent me from falling into the trap.</p> <p>However, the snowball won&rsquo;t become an avalanche until the medical profession and the media stop recommending methods that make it harder to quit and accept that EASYPEASYWAY is not just another method: BUT THE ONLY SENSIBLE METHOD TO USE! I don&rsquo;t expect you to believe me at this stage, but by the time you have finished the book, you will understand.</p> <p>Even the comparatively few failures that we have say something like: &lsquo;I haven&rsquo;t succeeded yet, but your way is better than any I know.&rsquo; If when you finish the book, you feel that you owe me a debt of gratitude, you can more than repay that debt. Not just by recommending EASYPEASYWAY to your friends, but whenever you see or read an article advocating some other method, email to them asking why they aren&rsquo;t advocating EASYWAY.</p> @@ -4574,8 +4574,7 @@ easy to quit.</p> <li>It takes willpower to quit</li> <li>Once an addict always an addict</li> <li>Telling PMOers that it will turn them into robots will make them to quit</li> -<li>Substitutes, particularly soft porn, reality porn, solo naked only porn etc.. and training toys -such as fleshlight, helps PMOers to regain their full unfading erections.</li> +<li>Substitutes, particularly soft porn, reality porn, solo naked only porn etc.. and training toys such as fleshlight, helps PMOers to regain their full unfading erections.</li> <li>All porn is same in their rate of addictiveness</li> <li>In particular, when I had dispelled the illusion that it is difficult to quit and that you have to go through a transitional period of misery in order to do so, I naively thought that the rest of diff --git a/new-site/public/tags/updates/index.xml b/new-site/public/tags/updates/index.xml index 08bc9af7..6ac8db17 100644 --- a/new-site/public/tags/updates/index.xml +++ b/new-site/public/tags/updates/index.xml @@ -3525,7 +3525,7 @@ Get out of the habit of envying PMOers and start seeing them as the miserable, p </blockquote> <p>Teenagers are generally more difficult to cure, not because they find it difficult to stop but because either they do not believe they are hooked or they are at the primary stage of the trap and suffer from the delusion that they will automatically have stopped before the secondary stage.</p> <p>I would like particularly to warn parents of children who loathe internet porn not to have a false sense of security. All children loathe the dark sides of porn until they become hooked. You did too at one time. Also do not be fooled by scare campaigns. The trap is the same as it always was. Children know that internet porn is supranormal stimuli but they also know that one ‘visit’ or ‘peek’ will not do it. At some stage they may be influenced by a girlfriend or boyfriend, school friend or work colleague.</p> -<p>You may think that all they need is an education in brain plasticity and that PMO (including even masturbation) acts like a virus in their brain programme to convince them they could never become hooked. I find society&rsquo;s failure to prevent our children from becoming addicted to internet porn and other drugs to be the most disturbing of all the many disturbing facets of addiction. I beg you not to be complacent in this matter. It is necessary to protect youngsters as their brain is more plastic at that age. I strongly urge you to read the YBOP book and educate yourself of the brain science. Even if you suspect your teenager might lready be hooked, the book will provide excellent guidance to assist in gaining understanding for someone to escape.</p> +<p>You may think that all they need is an education in brain plasticity and that PMO (including even masturbation) acts like a virus in their brain programme to convince them they could never become hooked. I find society&rsquo;s failure to prevent our children from becoming addicted to internet porn and other drugs to be the most disturbing of all the many disturbing facets of addiction. I beg you not to be complacent in this matter. It is necessary to protect youngsters as their brain is more plastic at that age. I strongly urge you to read the YBOP book and educate yourself of the brain science. Even if you suspect your teenager might already be hooked, the book will provide excellent guidance to assist in gaining understanding for someone to escape.</p> <div class="footnotes" role="doc-endnotes"> <hr> <ol> @@ -3533,7 +3533,7 @@ Get out of the habit of envying PMOers and start seeing them as the miserable, p <p><strong>RC</strong> - reward circuits.&#160;<a href="#fnref:1" class="footnote-backref" role="doc-backlink">&#x21a9;&#xfe0e;</a></p> </li> <li id="fn:2"> -<p><strong>Regulation</strong> - Up and down regulation is a natural reactionary process of the brain to adjust receptors and or their neuro-transmitters based on the level that is present.&#160;<a href="#fnref:2" class="footnote-backref" role="doc-backlink">&#x21a9;&#xfe0e;</a></p> +<p><strong>Regulation</strong> - Up and down regulation is a natural reactionary process of the brain to adjust receptors and or their neurotransmitters based on the level that is present.&#160;<a href="#fnref:2" class="footnote-backref" role="doc-backlink">&#x21a9;&#xfe0e;</a></p> </li> </ol> </div> @@ -3758,7 +3758,7 @@ Get out of the habit of envying PMOers and start seeing them as the miserable, p <p>The fact that it took you twenty years to reach that state is irrelevant. So it is with PMOing. If I could immediately transfer you into your mind and body to give you a direct comparison on how you would feel having stopped internet porn for just three weeks, that is all I would need to do to persuade you to quit. You would think: “Will I really feel this good?” Or what it really amounts to: “Had I really sunk that low?” I emphasize that I don&rsquo;t just mean that you would feel healthier and have more energy but how you would also feel more confident and relaxed and better able to concentrate.</p> <p>As a teenager, I can remember rushing around just for the hell of it. I was interested in reading, I had set up a chemical lab, tried fixing (old CRT) TVs, dabbled with cooking etc. I was fascinated by scientists. Then I got attracted to makers and doers of the rag-to-riches lives of real people. I had the inner push and I knew I had it.</p> <p>I then was introduced to print porn, then came music TV channels, followed by static computer images. By this time I was permanently tired and lethargic. Then came internet porn of images and downloadable movies. I used to struggle to wake up at nine o&rsquo;clock in the morning. After my evening meal I would already be thinking about porn before going to bed, even when I had a girlfriend. Sex with her was a ‘chore’. But PMO with internet porn had all the novelty, shock, etc. No one can match that lure. And then the internet upped its game with tube sites, catalogued porn genres, ‘hearting’ favorites and all in lightning speed, high quality, no traces of downloads. Even the browsers went incognito, thoroughly helping me to cover my tracks. Reward with no pains.</p> -<p>By this time, the lack of energy, tiredness and everything related to it is nicely swept under the rug of ‘getting’ older. My friends and colleagues by this time are all living sedentary lifestyles. I hought this behaviour was normal. I believed that energy was the exclusive prerogative of children and teenagers, and that old age began in the early twenties. I did not notice that I was paying attention to my health in general by eating right - which they did not. But I did not notice that anomaly.</p> +<p>By this time, the lack of energy, tiredness and everything related to it is nicely swept under the rug of ‘getting’ older. My friends and colleagues by this time are all living sedentary lifestyles. I thought this behaviour was normal. I believed that energy was the exclusive prerogative of children and teenagers, and that old age began in the early twenties. I did not notice that I was paying attention to my health in general by eating right - which they did not. But I did not notice that anomaly.</p> <p>Shortly after I stopped PMO, I was relieved that this foggy and muggy feeling left me. For example, I can keep a steady gaze with my eyes on just about anything for a longer time. If I am looking into someone’s eyes it is even longer. However something truly marvellous and unexpected also happened. I started waking at seven o&rsquo;clock in the morning feeling completely rested and full of energy, actually wanting to exercise, jog and swim. I have read about a forty-eight year old who couldn&rsquo;t run a step or swim a stroke. The only sporting activities were confined to such dynamic pursuits as green bowling, affectionately referred to as “the old man&rsquo;s game,” and golf, for which he had to use a motorized cart. But after quitting PMO he started going to gym - not that it is necessary that everyone would - but still. Almost all us know that it&rsquo;s great to have energy and when you feel physically and mentally strong, it feels great to be alive.</p> <p>That is the point with PMOing - you are always debiting your energy. And in that process tampering with your brain codes of the reward circuit. Which again is going to make you miserable and vulnerable to stress and strain attacks. Unfortunately when you feel down with all of this you will seek a cigarette or alcohol or again porn. Unlike quitting smoking, where the return of your physical and mental health is only gradual, quitting PMO gives you excellent results from day one. Starting with energy. Then your mental programming to close the ‘water slides’ takes a bit of time. You need to kill the Little Monster - which will be explained in later chapters. Recovering your RC is nothing like as slow as the slide into the pit and if you are going through the trauma of the willpower method of quitting, any health or energy gains will be obliterated by the depression you will be going through. Unfortunately, I cannot immediately transfer you into your mind and body in three weeks&rsquo; time. But you can! You know instinctively that what I am telling you is correct. All you need to do is: USE YOUR IMAGINATION!</p> @@ -4028,7 +4028,7 @@ pleasure.”</em></p> <p>Every time I hear a porn addict trying to justify his addiction the message is, “Oh, it calms me. It helps me to relax.”</p> <p>On the Internet I read about a single dad whose 6 year old son would want to share his bed sometimes in the night after a scary movie yet the dad would refuse under some pretence so he can have his PMO session and edge for hours.</p> <p>Let me try a smoking analogy here&hellip; a couple of years ago, the adoption authorities threatened to prevent smokers from adopting children. A man rang up, irate. He said, “you are completely wrong. I can remember when I was a child, if I had a contentious matter to raise with my mother, I would wait until she lit a cigarette because she was more relaxed then.” Why couldn&rsquo;t he talk to his mother when she wasn&rsquo;t smoking a cigarette?</p> -<p>Why are PMOers so stressd when they are not getting their fix, even after a real sex with a real woman? I read about a guy who has 9&rsquo;s and 10&rsquo;s open for dating with him as he was in the advertising field. I am talking about dinner and stuff only - but he lost interest in those dinners as his Internet porn is far more ‘easy’ for him - no restaurant spending and no hearing a ‘no’ from his date at the end of an evening. Why would he bother when his little monster tells him about the low-risk high-reward scheme called PMO that is at his fingertips when he reaches home? Those real girls sure have competition.</p> +<p>Why are PMOers so stressed when they are not getting their fix, even after a real sex with a real woman? I read about a guy who has 9&rsquo;s and 10&rsquo;s open for dating with him as he was in the advertising field. I am talking about dinner and stuff only - but he lost interest in those dinners as his Internet porn is far more ‘easy’ for him - no restaurant spending and no hearing a ‘no’ from his date at the end of an evening. Why would he bother when his little monster tells him about the low-risk high-reward scheme called PMO that is at his fingertips when he reaches home? Those real girls sure have competition.</p> <p>Why are non-PMOers completely relaxed then? Why are PMOers not able to relax without a fix for a day or two? If you read about the experience of a PMOer taking the abstinence oath and quitting and you notice his struggle with the temptations. You can clearly see that they are not relaxed at all when they are not allowed to have the ‘only pleasure’ they are “entitled to enjoy.” They&rsquo;ve forgotten what it feels like to be completely relaxed. That&rsquo;s one of the many joys you have to come. The whole business of PMOing can be likened to a fly being caught in a pitcher plant. To begin with, the fly is eating the nectar. At some imperceptible stage the plant begins to eat the fly.</p> <p>Isn&rsquo;t it time you climbed out of that plant?</p> @@ -4251,9 +4251,9 @@ became addicted. However, the satisfaction is only temporary because in order to <p>We talk about internet porn being relaxing or giving satisfaction. But how can you be satisfied unless you were dissatisfied in the first place? Why don&rsquo;t non-PMOer suffer from this dissatisfied state and why, after a no-sex date, when the non-PMOers are completely relaxed, are PMOers completely unrelaxed until they have satisfied their &rsquo;little monster&rsquo;?</p> <h2 id="a-pleasure-or-crutch">A Pleasure or Crutch? <a class="anchor" href="#a-pleasure-or-crutch"> <span class="spanForHeader">¶</span> -</a></h2><p>Forgive me if I dwell on this subject for a moment. The main reason that PMOers find it difficult to quit is that they believe that they are giving up a genuine pleasure or crutch. It is absolutely essential to understand that you are giving up nothing whatsoever. The best way to understand the subtleties of the PMO trap is to compare it with eating. If we are in the habit of eating regular meals, we are not aware of being hungry between meals. Only if the meal is delayed are we aware of being hungry, and even then, there is no physical pain, just an empty, insecure feeling which we know as: &lsquo;I need to eat.&rsquo; And the process of satisfying our hunger is a very pleasantpastime.</p> +</a></h2><p>Forgive me if I dwell on this subject for a moment. The main reason that PMOers find it difficult to quit is that they believe that they are giving up a genuine pleasure or crutch. It is absolutely essential to understand that you are giving up nothing whatsoever. The best way to understand the subtleties of the PMO trap is to compare it with eating. If we are in the habit of eating regular meals, we are not aware of being hungry between meals. Only if the meal is delayed are we aware of being hungry, and even then, there is no physical pain, just an empty, insecure feeling which we know as: &lsquo;I need to eat.&rsquo; And the process of satisfying our hunger is a very pleasant pastime.</p> <p>PMOing appears to be almost identical. The empty, insecure feeling which we know as: &lsquo;wanting or needing an PMO orgasm’ is identical to a hunger for food, although one will not satisfy the other. Like hunger, there is no physical pain and the feeling is so imperceptible that we are not even aware of it between PMO sessions. It&rsquo;s only if we want to masturbate and aren&rsquo;t able to reach internet for porn that we become aware of any discomfort. But when we do PMO we feel satisfied.</p> -<p>It is this similarity to eating which helps to fool PMOers into believing that they receive some genuine pleasure. Some PMOers find it very difficult to grasp that there is no pleasure or crutch, whatsoever to PMO. Some argue: “How can you say there is no crutch? When I orgasm up then I&rsquo;llfeel less nervous than before.”</p> +<p>It is this similarity to eating which helps to fool PMOers into believing that they receive some genuine pleasure. Some PMOers find it very difficult to grasp that there is no pleasure or crutch, whatsoever to PMO. Some argue: “How can you say there is no crutch? When I orgasm up then I&rsquo;ll feel less nervous than before.”</p> <p>Although eating and PMOing appear to be very similar. In fact they are exact opposites:</p> <ol> <li>You eat to survive and to energize your life, whereas PMOing dims your mojo and cuts down your energy.</li> @@ -4379,7 +4379,7 @@ became addicted. However, the satisfaction is only temporary because in order to <p>All PMOers feel that something evil has got possession of them. In the early days it is a question of, “I am going to stop, not today but tomorrow.” Eventually we get to the stage where we think either that we haven&rsquo;t got the willpower or that there is something inherent in the whole PMO that we must have in order to enjoy life.</p> <p>As I said previously, the problem is not explaining why it is easy to stop; it is explaining why it is difficult. In fact, the real problem is explaining scientifically why anybody does it even after getting the insights on the neurological damages of addictions not limited to porn.</p> <p>The whole business of porn is an extraordinary enigma. One of the reasons we get on to it is because of the thousands of people are already into it, about 35% of the population approximately. Yet every one of them wishes he or she had not started in the first place, telling us that life is like driving in second gear. We cannot quite believe they are not enjoying it. We associate it with freedom or being “sex-educated” and work hard to become hooked ourselves. We then spend the rest of our lives telling others not to do it and trying to kick the habit ourselves.</p> -<p>We also spend the rest of our lives feeling hopeless and miserable. Time spent on porn can accumulate to a large percentage of our life in this planet! What do we do with that amount of time spent? We ‘educate’ ourselves with supranormal<sup id="fnref:1"><a href="#fn:1" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">1</a></sup> ‘material’ that makes us stupidly prefer and childishly long for these cold images - even when warm real ones are available. By the constant surge and drop of dopamine induced by PMO, we sentence ourselves to a lifetime of irritability, anger, frustration, stress, fatigue<sup id="fnref:2"><a href="#fn:2" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">2</a></sup>, PIED, hypofrontality etc. In short, it is a lifetime of slavery. It is logically and intuitively clear that amative sex (physical touch, feel, voice etc.) is the best part of sex and is even better (if Karezza<sup id="fnref:3"><a href="#fn:3" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">3</a></sup> is practised, although not necessary for the current purposes) than the propagative (orgasm) part, except when children are desired. So, when we use porn in the absence of the best part of sex we feel miserable and guilty.</p> +<p>We also spend the rest of our lives feeling hopeless and miserable. Time spent on porn can accumulate to a large percentage of our life in this planet! What do we do with that amount of time spent? We ‘educate’ ourselves with supranormal<sup id="fnref:1"><a href="#fn:1" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">1</a></sup> ‘material’ that makes us stupidly prefer and childishly long for these cold images - even when warm real ones are available. By the constant surge and drop of dopamine induced by PMO, we sentence ourselves to a lifetime of irritability, anger, frustration, stress, fatigue<sup id="fnref:2"><a href="#fn:2" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">2</a></sup>, PIED, hypofrontality etc. In short, it is a lifetime of slavery. It is logically and intuitively clear that amative sex (physical touch, feel, voice etc.) is the best part of sex and is even better (if Karezza<sup id="fnref:3"><a href="#fn:3" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">3</a></sup> is practiced, although not necessary for the current purposes) than the propagative (orgasm) part, except when children are desired. So, when we use porn in the absence of the best part of sex we feel miserable and guilty.</p> <p>In fact, all the reading about internet pornography&rsquo;s addictive capabilities and it’s destructive effects here and in other online sites makes us even more nervous and hopeless. When we are trying to cut down or stop, we end up feeling deprived. We wish we didn&rsquo;t have to. What sort of hobby is it that when you are doing it you wish you weren&rsquo;t, and when you are not doing it you crave for it? A lifetime of an otherwise intelligent, rational human being going through life in contempt.</p> <p>The PMOer despises himself, every time he has an unreliable erection, a fading penetration, reading about PIED and other stuff on the YBOP forum, every time he could not pull himself up to exercise after a daytime PMO, every PMO behind his or her trustfully asleep partner’s back, every time he sees his tired face and lifeless eyes in the restroom mirror.</p> <p>Having to go through life with these awful black shadows at the back of his mind, what does he get out of it? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! Pleasure? Enjoyment? Relaxation? A prop? A boost? All illusions, unless you consider the wearing of tight shoes to enjoy the removal of them as some sort of pleasure!</p> @@ -4468,9 +4468,9 @@ man and woman from performance based anxieties.&#160;<a href="#fnref: <span class="spanForHeader">¶</span> </a></h2><p>Perhaps I should begin by describing my competence for writing this book. No, I am not a doctor or a psychiatrist; my qualifications are far more appropriate. I spent thirty years of my life as a confirmed fapper. In the later years I used porn on a daily bases to get orgasm(s).During my life I had made a great number of attempts to stop. I never got past a full week of abstinence, and I was still climbing up the wall, with an “annoying alarm clock beeping” in my head called craving. With most PMOers, on the health side, it&rsquo;s a question of “ I&rsquo;ll stop before it happens to me.” I had reached the stage where I knew it has caused PIED, hypofrontality (inability to control and execute action towards a goal), irritability, lack of energy, soulless eyes, mental dryness, stress and pain in the lower back, genital irritations. It bothered me, but it still didn&rsquo;t stop me.</p> <p>I felt lack of enthusiasm to go to gym or just a walk even if it’s sunny outside or simple weight lifting at home either. I had reached the stage where I gave up even trying to stop. I found excuses in substitute methods (controlled use, safe porn, porn-diet and etc. discussed later) as advocated by sexologists, forum users and medical pros - who have no idea of its effect on brain chemistry and who are themselves fooled by their &rsquo;little monster&rsquo; (not devil or satan - we will talk about monsters later) . The novelty trap and shock value provided by internet porn delivered at home with a low risk high reward deal is something that they can’t even think of. They are still in the static playboy era. And the younger ones have buried their heads under the sand so they can still continue to PMO.</p> -<p>The worst part is it was not so much that I enjoyed the PMO. It was just doing it routinely, a chore - like slipping down the water slides, in fact there are brain water slides greased well by the neuro chemicals (DeltaFosB proteins made by dopamine which store emotion scripts for easy recall, will be discussing later). A simple cue such as a commercial, or a day to day stress that got ‘relieved’ temporarily by PMO is all it takes to complete the ride down the ‘waterslide’. Some time in their lives most PMOers have suffered from the illusion that they enjoy the ride, the novelty, the rush and of course the orgasm, but I never had that illusion.</p> +<p>The worst part is it was not so much that I enjoyed the PMO. It was just doing it routinely, a chore - like slipping down the water slides, in fact there are brain water slides greased well by the neurochemicals (DeltaFosB proteins made by dopamine which store emotion scripts for easy recall, will be discussing later). A simple cue such as a commercial, or a day to day stress that got ‘relieved’ temporarily by PMO is all it takes to complete the ride down the ‘waterslide’. Some time in their lives most PMOers have suffered from the illusion that they enjoy the ride, the novelty, the rush and of course the orgasm, but I never had that illusion.</p> <p>I have most times detested the porn, even when I liked the orgasm. But at all times I thought a release from PMO helped me to relax. It gave me courage and confidence, and I was always miserable when I tried to stop, never being able to visualize an enjoyable life without PMO. And so my PMO habit which had started before my marriage stayed with me during and after my marriage was over. I had experienced PIED but I blocked it out and found excuses , “it happens to every man”. Well it does of course - but &lsquo;it&rsquo; happened to me again and again. My penis, I found it difficult to get hard - when I am with real woman. Could it be because I had habituated it to work in limp mode? Later I found that it was hard for me to get hard even with porn.</p> -<p>My girlfriend gave a book by Dr David Burns - which I liked very much. I also practised the exercises and got interested in it. Through the book I came to know of Dr. Abraham Low and his books on rational therapy - it is now known as Recovery International. At the same time - my soon to be ex-wife also sent me to a therapist. I completed therapy - and was getting out of my mental rut and started a new beginning in my life. I continued my reading and self education from the above two authors and started to read about REBT and Dr. Albert Ellis. I poured into all of his books and got myself well trained in REBT. I still practice it on a daily bases. I do ABC write ups (and DE and F as well)<sup id="fnref:1"><a href="#fn:1" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">1</a></sup> and actively journal my daily endorsements. I keep my DML (daily mood logs) and Endorse documents in an online spreadsheet.</p> +<p>My girlfriend gave a book by Dr David Burns - which I liked very much. I also practiced the exercises and got interested in it. Through the book I came to know of Dr. Abraham Low and his books on rational therapy - it is now known as Recovery International. At the same time - my soon to be ex-wife also sent me to a therapist. I completed therapy - and was getting out of my mental rut and started a new beginning in my life. I continued my reading and self education from the above two authors and started to read about REBT and Dr. Albert Ellis. I poured into all of his books and got myself well trained in REBT. I still practice it on a daily bases. I do ABC write ups (and DE and F as well)<sup id="fnref:1"><a href="#fn:1" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">1</a></sup> and actively journal my daily endorsements. I keep my DML (daily mood logs) and Endorse documents in an online spreadsheet.</p> <p>I was able to spot my rigid beliefs, exaggerations, self-rating and low frustration tolerance and immediately self-talk myself to have healthy negative emotions when needed. I was able to get my alcohol intake under control, cigarettes were on and off, and I rode through divorces. The point is that I was able to go through them all with the lowest disturbance in any random test set of divorced 40 yr old guys. However, I was still struggling with the occasional excesses that are inevitable with alcohol. I absolutely hated the cigarettes. I was aware of my (and the little monster&rsquo;s) efforts to dig a hole and hide my head in sand about my daily PMO affecting my sex life. I had two incidences of PIED, and found substitutes in getting a fleshlight to simulate a female vagina and also as a form of stamina training.</p> <p>I then somehow landed on the Amazon page of Allen Carr’s best seller book on how to stop smoking. I used it to quit my smoking by the time I completed the reading. I felt so light and happy about quitting, how can I not be, I don’t have the feelings of misery and self-sacrifice. I don’t even feel the ‘resistance to temptations’ that most feel which taxes their will power. I know I found something that will work for me. Now, cigarettes are not the society’s favourite anyway and it carried a social stigma so that would be easy, right? I then challenged myself to my next problem, alcohol - where my frequent excesses were starting to bother me. I realized that I am finding excuses and minimizing my nasty and shameful drunken behaviours many times. I can also see I am using it as a crutch and also as pleasure - but more of the former. I guess that it has to do my nature of being melancholic. And yes, I was able to kick that habit as well.</p> @@ -4518,7 +4518,7 @@ Do not take anything for granted. Question not only what I tell you but also you <p>Some PUA<sup id="fnref:2"><a href="#fn:2" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">2</a></sup> experts say something like: PMO only once in four days “ Every PMOer knows that it is the one day that most PMOers will do twice as many as they usually do and sometimes they ‘close the shop’ to run home knowing that it is their final day of ‘fasting’ and because no one like being told what to do, particularly by people who dismiss PMOers as mere idiots and don&rsquo;t understand their problem.</p> <p>Because they don&rsquo;t completely understand PMOers themselves or how to make it easy for them to quit, their attitude is &lsquo;Try this method. If it doesn&rsquo;t work try another: Can you imagine if there were ten different ways of treating appendicitis? Nine of them cured 10 per cent of the patients, which means they killed 90 per cent of them and the tenth way cured 95 per cent. Imagine that knowledge of the tenth method had been available for free, but the vast majority of the medical profession was still recommending the other nine.</p> <p>Someone pointed out that doctors might well find themselves liable to a legal action for malpractice, by not advising their patients of the best way to quit. Ironically he was a great advocate of substituting methods (soft porn, solo, nude only, porn-diet etc), I try hard not to be vindictive, but I hope he becomes the first victim of his suggestion.</p> -<p>There are many websites that talk about the harms of PMO. You can find content that explains scientifically the harms of high speed internet porn on the brain. There is much literature and studies of neuro chemicals and the neuroplasticity of the brain and how it is affected by PMO. I read many comments on forums and blogs of how some were able to overcome the addiction. They might just as well have wasted it on trying to persuade their readers that motorbikes can kill you. Do they not realize that youngsters know that one ‘look’ at a tube site won&rsquo;t kill them and that no youngster ever expects to get hooked? The link between porn and PIED porn induced ED, has been established for some time now. Yet more youngsters are becoming hooked nowadays than ever before.</p> +<p>There are many websites that talk about the harms of PMO. You can find content that explains scientifically the harms of high speed internet porn on the brain. There is much literature and studies of neurochemicals and the neuroplasticity of the brain and how it is affected by PMO. I read many comments on forums and blogs of how some were able to overcome the addiction. They might just as well have wasted it on trying to persuade their readers that motorbikes can kill you. Do they not realize that youngsters know that one ‘look’ at a tube site won&rsquo;t kill them and that no youngster ever expects to get hooked? The link between porn and PIED porn induced ED, has been established for some time now. Yet more youngsters are becoming hooked nowadays than ever before.</p> <p>Youngsters don&rsquo;t need to be preached on the harms of PIED, hypofrontality, dopamine surge and the resulting cutting down of the associated dopamine receptors. Young and old PMOers tend to avoid such materials anyway. Practically every subscriber and reader of sites such as YBOP knows the brain science and the self-sabotage nature of PMO. I myself has seen the damages in my personal life. On a more serious note, two men in my own family had MO addiction ( porn was not prevalent 20 yrs ago) and I can see how they were peevish and melancholic when they felt deprived or guilty related to their MO. But that didn&rsquo;t prevent me from falling into the trap.</p> <p>However, the snowball won&rsquo;t become an avalanche until the medical profession and the media stop recommending methods that make it harder to quit and accept that EASYPEASYWAY is not just another method: BUT THE ONLY SENSIBLE METHOD TO USE! I don&rsquo;t expect you to believe me at this stage, but by the time you have finished the book, you will understand.</p> <p>Even the comparatively few failures that we have say something like: &lsquo;I haven&rsquo;t succeeded yet, but your way is better than any I know.&rsquo; If when you finish the book, you feel that you owe me a debt of gratitude, you can more than repay that debt. Not just by recommending EASYPEASYWAY to your friends, but whenever you see or read an article advocating some other method, email to them asking why they aren&rsquo;t advocating EASYWAY.</p> @@ -4574,8 +4574,7 @@ easy to quit.</p> <li>It takes willpower to quit</li> <li>Once an addict always an addict</li> <li>Telling PMOers that it will turn them into robots will make them to quit</li> -<li>Substitutes, particularly soft porn, reality porn, solo naked only porn etc.. and training toys -such as fleshlight, helps PMOers to regain their full unfading erections.</li> +<li>Substitutes, particularly soft porn, reality porn, solo naked only porn etc.. and training toys such as fleshlight, helps PMOers to regain their full unfading erections.</li> <li>All porn is same in their rate of addictiveness</li> <li>In particular, when I had dispelled the illusion that it is difficult to quit and that you have to go through a transitional period of misery in order to do so, I naively thought that the rest of diff --git a/new-site/public/updates/index.xml b/new-site/public/updates/index.xml index 2a49aad6..c23d0bf4 100644 --- a/new-site/public/updates/index.xml +++ b/new-site/public/updates/index.xml @@ -3525,7 +3525,7 @@ Get out of the habit of envying PMOers and start seeing them as the miserable, p </blockquote> <p>Teenagers are generally more difficult to cure, not because they find it difficult to stop but because either they do not believe they are hooked or they are at the primary stage of the trap and suffer from the delusion that they will automatically have stopped before the secondary stage.</p> <p>I would like particularly to warn parents of children who loathe internet porn not to have a false sense of security. All children loathe the dark sides of porn until they become hooked. You did too at one time. Also do not be fooled by scare campaigns. The trap is the same as it always was. Children know that internet porn is supranormal stimuli but they also know that one ‘visit’ or ‘peek’ will not do it. At some stage they may be influenced by a girlfriend or boyfriend, school friend or work colleague.</p> -<p>You may think that all they need is an education in brain plasticity and that PMO (including even masturbation) acts like a virus in their brain programme to convince them they could never become hooked. I find society&rsquo;s failure to prevent our children from becoming addicted to internet porn and other drugs to be the most disturbing of all the many disturbing facets of addiction. I beg you not to be complacent in this matter. It is necessary to protect youngsters as their brain is more plastic at that age. I strongly urge you to read the YBOP book and educate yourself of the brain science. Even if you suspect your teenager might lready be hooked, the book will provide excellent guidance to assist in gaining understanding for someone to escape.</p> +<p>You may think that all they need is an education in brain plasticity and that PMO (including even masturbation) acts like a virus in their brain programme to convince them they could never become hooked. I find society&rsquo;s failure to prevent our children from becoming addicted to internet porn and other drugs to be the most disturbing of all the many disturbing facets of addiction. I beg you not to be complacent in this matter. It is necessary to protect youngsters as their brain is more plastic at that age. I strongly urge you to read the YBOP book and educate yourself of the brain science. Even if you suspect your teenager might already be hooked, the book will provide excellent guidance to assist in gaining understanding for someone to escape.</p> <div class="footnotes" role="doc-endnotes"> <hr> <ol> @@ -3533,7 +3533,7 @@ Get out of the habit of envying PMOers and start seeing them as the miserable, p <p><strong>RC</strong> - reward circuits.&#160;<a href="#fnref:1" class="footnote-backref" role="doc-backlink">&#x21a9;&#xfe0e;</a></p> </li> <li id="fn:2"> -<p><strong>Regulation</strong> - Up and down regulation is a natural reactionary process of the brain to adjust receptors and or their neuro-transmitters based on the level that is present.&#160;<a href="#fnref:2" class="footnote-backref" role="doc-backlink">&#x21a9;&#xfe0e;</a></p> +<p><strong>Regulation</strong> - Up and down regulation is a natural reactionary process of the brain to adjust receptors and or their neurotransmitters based on the level that is present.&#160;<a href="#fnref:2" class="footnote-backref" role="doc-backlink">&#x21a9;&#xfe0e;</a></p> </li> </ol> </div> @@ -3758,7 +3758,7 @@ Get out of the habit of envying PMOers and start seeing them as the miserable, p <p>The fact that it took you twenty years to reach that state is irrelevant. So it is with PMOing. If I could immediately transfer you into your mind and body to give you a direct comparison on how you would feel having stopped internet porn for just three weeks, that is all I would need to do to persuade you to quit. You would think: “Will I really feel this good?” Or what it really amounts to: “Had I really sunk that low?” I emphasize that I don&rsquo;t just mean that you would feel healthier and have more energy but how you would also feel more confident and relaxed and better able to concentrate.</p> <p>As a teenager, I can remember rushing around just for the hell of it. I was interested in reading, I had set up a chemical lab, tried fixing (old CRT) TVs, dabbled with cooking etc. I was fascinated by scientists. Then I got attracted to makers and doers of the rag-to-riches lives of real people. I had the inner push and I knew I had it.</p> <p>I then was introduced to print porn, then came music TV channels, followed by static computer images. By this time I was permanently tired and lethargic. Then came internet porn of images and downloadable movies. I used to struggle to wake up at nine o&rsquo;clock in the morning. After my evening meal I would already be thinking about porn before going to bed, even when I had a girlfriend. Sex with her was a ‘chore’. But PMO with internet porn had all the novelty, shock, etc. No one can match that lure. And then the internet upped its game with tube sites, catalogued porn genres, ‘hearting’ favorites and all in lightning speed, high quality, no traces of downloads. Even the browsers went incognito, thoroughly helping me to cover my tracks. Reward with no pains.</p> -<p>By this time, the lack of energy, tiredness and everything related to it is nicely swept under the rug of ‘getting’ older. My friends and colleagues by this time are all living sedentary lifestyles. I hought this behaviour was normal. I believed that energy was the exclusive prerogative of children and teenagers, and that old age began in the early twenties. I did not notice that I was paying attention to my health in general by eating right - which they did not. But I did not notice that anomaly.</p> +<p>By this time, the lack of energy, tiredness and everything related to it is nicely swept under the rug of ‘getting’ older. My friends and colleagues by this time are all living sedentary lifestyles. I thought this behaviour was normal. I believed that energy was the exclusive prerogative of children and teenagers, and that old age began in the early twenties. I did not notice that I was paying attention to my health in general by eating right - which they did not. But I did not notice that anomaly.</p> <p>Shortly after I stopped PMO, I was relieved that this foggy and muggy feeling left me. For example, I can keep a steady gaze with my eyes on just about anything for a longer time. If I am looking into someone’s eyes it is even longer. However something truly marvellous and unexpected also happened. I started waking at seven o&rsquo;clock in the morning feeling completely rested and full of energy, actually wanting to exercise, jog and swim. I have read about a forty-eight year old who couldn&rsquo;t run a step or swim a stroke. The only sporting activities were confined to such dynamic pursuits as green bowling, affectionately referred to as “the old man&rsquo;s game,” and golf, for which he had to use a motorized cart. But after quitting PMO he started going to gym - not that it is necessary that everyone would - but still. Almost all us know that it&rsquo;s great to have energy and when you feel physically and mentally strong, it feels great to be alive.</p> <p>That is the point with PMOing - you are always debiting your energy. And in that process tampering with your brain codes of the reward circuit. Which again is going to make you miserable and vulnerable to stress and strain attacks. Unfortunately when you feel down with all of this you will seek a cigarette or alcohol or again porn. Unlike quitting smoking, where the return of your physical and mental health is only gradual, quitting PMO gives you excellent results from day one. Starting with energy. Then your mental programming to close the ‘water slides’ takes a bit of time. You need to kill the Little Monster - which will be explained in later chapters. Recovering your RC is nothing like as slow as the slide into the pit and if you are going through the trauma of the willpower method of quitting, any health or energy gains will be obliterated by the depression you will be going through. Unfortunately, I cannot immediately transfer you into your mind and body in three weeks&rsquo; time. But you can! You know instinctively that what I am telling you is correct. All you need to do is: USE YOUR IMAGINATION!</p> @@ -4028,7 +4028,7 @@ pleasure.”</em></p> <p>Every time I hear a porn addict trying to justify his addiction the message is, “Oh, it calms me. It helps me to relax.”</p> <p>On the Internet I read about a single dad whose 6 year old son would want to share his bed sometimes in the night after a scary movie yet the dad would refuse under some pretence so he can have his PMO session and edge for hours.</p> <p>Let me try a smoking analogy here&hellip; a couple of years ago, the adoption authorities threatened to prevent smokers from adopting children. A man rang up, irate. He said, “you are completely wrong. I can remember when I was a child, if I had a contentious matter to raise with my mother, I would wait until she lit a cigarette because she was more relaxed then.” Why couldn&rsquo;t he talk to his mother when she wasn&rsquo;t smoking a cigarette?</p> -<p>Why are PMOers so stressd when they are not getting their fix, even after a real sex with a real woman? I read about a guy who has 9&rsquo;s and 10&rsquo;s open for dating with him as he was in the advertising field. I am talking about dinner and stuff only - but he lost interest in those dinners as his Internet porn is far more ‘easy’ for him - no restaurant spending and no hearing a ‘no’ from his date at the end of an evening. Why would he bother when his little monster tells him about the low-risk high-reward scheme called PMO that is at his fingertips when he reaches home? Those real girls sure have competition.</p> +<p>Why are PMOers so stressed when they are not getting their fix, even after a real sex with a real woman? I read about a guy who has 9&rsquo;s and 10&rsquo;s open for dating with him as he was in the advertising field. I am talking about dinner and stuff only - but he lost interest in those dinners as his Internet porn is far more ‘easy’ for him - no restaurant spending and no hearing a ‘no’ from his date at the end of an evening. Why would he bother when his little monster tells him about the low-risk high-reward scheme called PMO that is at his fingertips when he reaches home? Those real girls sure have competition.</p> <p>Why are non-PMOers completely relaxed then? Why are PMOers not able to relax without a fix for a day or two? If you read about the experience of a PMOer taking the abstinence oath and quitting and you notice his struggle with the temptations. You can clearly see that they are not relaxed at all when they are not allowed to have the ‘only pleasure’ they are “entitled to enjoy.” They&rsquo;ve forgotten what it feels like to be completely relaxed. That&rsquo;s one of the many joys you have to come. The whole business of PMOing can be likened to a fly being caught in a pitcher plant. To begin with, the fly is eating the nectar. At some imperceptible stage the plant begins to eat the fly.</p> <p>Isn&rsquo;t it time you climbed out of that plant?</p> @@ -4251,9 +4251,9 @@ became addicted. However, the satisfaction is only temporary because in order to <p>We talk about internet porn being relaxing or giving satisfaction. But how can you be satisfied unless you were dissatisfied in the first place? Why don&rsquo;t non-PMOer suffer from this dissatisfied state and why, after a no-sex date, when the non-PMOers are completely relaxed, are PMOers completely unrelaxed until they have satisfied their &rsquo;little monster&rsquo;?</p> <h2 id="a-pleasure-or-crutch">A Pleasure or Crutch? <a class="anchor" href="#a-pleasure-or-crutch"> <span class="spanForHeader">¶</span> -</a></h2><p>Forgive me if I dwell on this subject for a moment. The main reason that PMOers find it difficult to quit is that they believe that they are giving up a genuine pleasure or crutch. It is absolutely essential to understand that you are giving up nothing whatsoever. The best way to understand the subtleties of the PMO trap is to compare it with eating. If we are in the habit of eating regular meals, we are not aware of being hungry between meals. Only if the meal is delayed are we aware of being hungry, and even then, there is no physical pain, just an empty, insecure feeling which we know as: &lsquo;I need to eat.&rsquo; And the process of satisfying our hunger is a very pleasantpastime.</p> +</a></h2><p>Forgive me if I dwell on this subject for a moment. The main reason that PMOers find it difficult to quit is that they believe that they are giving up a genuine pleasure or crutch. It is absolutely essential to understand that you are giving up nothing whatsoever. The best way to understand the subtleties of the PMO trap is to compare it with eating. If we are in the habit of eating regular meals, we are not aware of being hungry between meals. Only if the meal is delayed are we aware of being hungry, and even then, there is no physical pain, just an empty, insecure feeling which we know as: &lsquo;I need to eat.&rsquo; And the process of satisfying our hunger is a very pleasant pastime.</p> <p>PMOing appears to be almost identical. The empty, insecure feeling which we know as: &lsquo;wanting or needing an PMO orgasm’ is identical to a hunger for food, although one will not satisfy the other. Like hunger, there is no physical pain and the feeling is so imperceptible that we are not even aware of it between PMO sessions. It&rsquo;s only if we want to masturbate and aren&rsquo;t able to reach internet for porn that we become aware of any discomfort. But when we do PMO we feel satisfied.</p> -<p>It is this similarity to eating which helps to fool PMOers into believing that they receive some genuine pleasure. Some PMOers find it very difficult to grasp that there is no pleasure or crutch, whatsoever to PMO. Some argue: “How can you say there is no crutch? When I orgasm up then I&rsquo;llfeel less nervous than before.”</p> +<p>It is this similarity to eating which helps to fool PMOers into believing that they receive some genuine pleasure. Some PMOers find it very difficult to grasp that there is no pleasure or crutch, whatsoever to PMO. Some argue: “How can you say there is no crutch? When I orgasm up then I&rsquo;ll feel less nervous than before.”</p> <p>Although eating and PMOing appear to be very similar. In fact they are exact opposites:</p> <ol> <li>You eat to survive and to energize your life, whereas PMOing dims your mojo and cuts down your energy.</li> @@ -4379,7 +4379,7 @@ became addicted. However, the satisfaction is only temporary because in order to <p>All PMOers feel that something evil has got possession of them. In the early days it is a question of, “I am going to stop, not today but tomorrow.” Eventually we get to the stage where we think either that we haven&rsquo;t got the willpower or that there is something inherent in the whole PMO that we must have in order to enjoy life.</p> <p>As I said previously, the problem is not explaining why it is easy to stop; it is explaining why it is difficult. In fact, the real problem is explaining scientifically why anybody does it even after getting the insights on the neurological damages of addictions not limited to porn.</p> <p>The whole business of porn is an extraordinary enigma. One of the reasons we get on to it is because of the thousands of people are already into it, about 35% of the population approximately. Yet every one of them wishes he or she had not started in the first place, telling us that life is like driving in second gear. We cannot quite believe they are not enjoying it. We associate it with freedom or being “sex-educated” and work hard to become hooked ourselves. We then spend the rest of our lives telling others not to do it and trying to kick the habit ourselves.</p> -<p>We also spend the rest of our lives feeling hopeless and miserable. Time spent on porn can accumulate to a large percentage of our life in this planet! What do we do with that amount of time spent? We ‘educate’ ourselves with supranormal<sup id="fnref:1"><a href="#fn:1" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">1</a></sup> ‘material’ that makes us stupidly prefer and childishly long for these cold images - even when warm real ones are available. By the constant surge and drop of dopamine induced by PMO, we sentence ourselves to a lifetime of irritability, anger, frustration, stress, fatigue<sup id="fnref:2"><a href="#fn:2" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">2</a></sup>, PIED, hypofrontality etc. In short, it is a lifetime of slavery. It is logically and intuitively clear that amative sex (physical touch, feel, voice etc.) is the best part of sex and is even better (if Karezza<sup id="fnref:3"><a href="#fn:3" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">3</a></sup> is practised, although not necessary for the current purposes) than the propagative (orgasm) part, except when children are desired. So, when we use porn in the absence of the best part of sex we feel miserable and guilty.</p> +<p>We also spend the rest of our lives feeling hopeless and miserable. Time spent on porn can accumulate to a large percentage of our life in this planet! What do we do with that amount of time spent? We ‘educate’ ourselves with supranormal<sup id="fnref:1"><a href="#fn:1" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">1</a></sup> ‘material’ that makes us stupidly prefer and childishly long for these cold images - even when warm real ones are available. By the constant surge and drop of dopamine induced by PMO, we sentence ourselves to a lifetime of irritability, anger, frustration, stress, fatigue<sup id="fnref:2"><a href="#fn:2" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">2</a></sup>, PIED, hypofrontality etc. In short, it is a lifetime of slavery. It is logically and intuitively clear that amative sex (physical touch, feel, voice etc.) is the best part of sex and is even better (if Karezza<sup id="fnref:3"><a href="#fn:3" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">3</a></sup> is practiced, although not necessary for the current purposes) than the propagative (orgasm) part, except when children are desired. So, when we use porn in the absence of the best part of sex we feel miserable and guilty.</p> <p>In fact, all the reading about internet pornography&rsquo;s addictive capabilities and it’s destructive effects here and in other online sites makes us even more nervous and hopeless. When we are trying to cut down or stop, we end up feeling deprived. We wish we didn&rsquo;t have to. What sort of hobby is it that when you are doing it you wish you weren&rsquo;t, and when you are not doing it you crave for it? A lifetime of an otherwise intelligent, rational human being going through life in contempt.</p> <p>The PMOer despises himself, every time he has an unreliable erection, a fading penetration, reading about PIED and other stuff on the YBOP forum, every time he could not pull himself up to exercise after a daytime PMO, every PMO behind his or her trustfully asleep partner’s back, every time he sees his tired face and lifeless eyes in the restroom mirror.</p> <p>Having to go through life with these awful black shadows at the back of his mind, what does he get out of it? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! Pleasure? Enjoyment? Relaxation? A prop? A boost? All illusions, unless you consider the wearing of tight shoes to enjoy the removal of them as some sort of pleasure!</p> @@ -4468,9 +4468,9 @@ man and woman from performance based anxieties.&#160;<a href="#fnref: <span class="spanForHeader">¶</span> </a></h2><p>Perhaps I should begin by describing my competence for writing this book. No, I am not a doctor or a psychiatrist; my qualifications are far more appropriate. I spent thirty years of my life as a confirmed fapper. In the later years I used porn on a daily bases to get orgasm(s).During my life I had made a great number of attempts to stop. I never got past a full week of abstinence, and I was still climbing up the wall, with an “annoying alarm clock beeping” in my head called craving. With most PMOers, on the health side, it&rsquo;s a question of “ I&rsquo;ll stop before it happens to me.” I had reached the stage where I knew it has caused PIED, hypofrontality (inability to control and execute action towards a goal), irritability, lack of energy, soulless eyes, mental dryness, stress and pain in the lower back, genital irritations. It bothered me, but it still didn&rsquo;t stop me.</p> <p>I felt lack of enthusiasm to go to gym or just a walk even if it’s sunny outside or simple weight lifting at home either. I had reached the stage where I gave up even trying to stop. I found excuses in substitute methods (controlled use, safe porn, porn-diet and etc. discussed later) as advocated by sexologists, forum users and medical pros - who have no idea of its effect on brain chemistry and who are themselves fooled by their &rsquo;little monster&rsquo; (not devil or satan - we will talk about monsters later) . The novelty trap and shock value provided by internet porn delivered at home with a low risk high reward deal is something that they can’t even think of. They are still in the static playboy era. And the younger ones have buried their heads under the sand so they can still continue to PMO.</p> -<p>The worst part is it was not so much that I enjoyed the PMO. It was just doing it routinely, a chore - like slipping down the water slides, in fact there are brain water slides greased well by the neuro chemicals (DeltaFosB proteins made by dopamine which store emotion scripts for easy recall, will be discussing later). A simple cue such as a commercial, or a day to day stress that got ‘relieved’ temporarily by PMO is all it takes to complete the ride down the ‘waterslide’. Some time in their lives most PMOers have suffered from the illusion that they enjoy the ride, the novelty, the rush and of course the orgasm, but I never had that illusion.</p> +<p>The worst part is it was not so much that I enjoyed the PMO. It was just doing it routinely, a chore - like slipping down the water slides, in fact there are brain water slides greased well by the neurochemicals (DeltaFosB proteins made by dopamine which store emotion scripts for easy recall, will be discussing later). A simple cue such as a commercial, or a day to day stress that got ‘relieved’ temporarily by PMO is all it takes to complete the ride down the ‘waterslide’. Some time in their lives most PMOers have suffered from the illusion that they enjoy the ride, the novelty, the rush and of course the orgasm, but I never had that illusion.</p> <p>I have most times detested the porn, even when I liked the orgasm. But at all times I thought a release from PMO helped me to relax. It gave me courage and confidence, and I was always miserable when I tried to stop, never being able to visualize an enjoyable life without PMO. And so my PMO habit which had started before my marriage stayed with me during and after my marriage was over. I had experienced PIED but I blocked it out and found excuses , “it happens to every man”. Well it does of course - but &lsquo;it&rsquo; happened to me again and again. My penis, I found it difficult to get hard - when I am with real woman. Could it be because I had habituated it to work in limp mode? Later I found that it was hard for me to get hard even with porn.</p> -<p>My girlfriend gave a book by Dr David Burns - which I liked very much. I also practised the exercises and got interested in it. Through the book I came to know of Dr. Abraham Low and his books on rational therapy - it is now known as Recovery International. At the same time - my soon to be ex-wife also sent me to a therapist. I completed therapy - and was getting out of my mental rut and started a new beginning in my life. I continued my reading and self education from the above two authors and started to read about REBT and Dr. Albert Ellis. I poured into all of his books and got myself well trained in REBT. I still practice it on a daily bases. I do ABC write ups (and DE and F as well)<sup id="fnref:1"><a href="#fn:1" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">1</a></sup> and actively journal my daily endorsements. I keep my DML (daily mood logs) and Endorse documents in an online spreadsheet.</p> +<p>My girlfriend gave a book by Dr David Burns - which I liked very much. I also practiced the exercises and got interested in it. Through the book I came to know of Dr. Abraham Low and his books on rational therapy - it is now known as Recovery International. At the same time - my soon to be ex-wife also sent me to a therapist. I completed therapy - and was getting out of my mental rut and started a new beginning in my life. I continued my reading and self education from the above two authors and started to read about REBT and Dr. Albert Ellis. I poured into all of his books and got myself well trained in REBT. I still practice it on a daily bases. I do ABC write ups (and DE and F as well)<sup id="fnref:1"><a href="#fn:1" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">1</a></sup> and actively journal my daily endorsements. I keep my DML (daily mood logs) and Endorse documents in an online spreadsheet.</p> <p>I was able to spot my rigid beliefs, exaggerations, self-rating and low frustration tolerance and immediately self-talk myself to have healthy negative emotions when needed. I was able to get my alcohol intake under control, cigarettes were on and off, and I rode through divorces. The point is that I was able to go through them all with the lowest disturbance in any random test set of divorced 40 yr old guys. However, I was still struggling with the occasional excesses that are inevitable with alcohol. I absolutely hated the cigarettes. I was aware of my (and the little monster&rsquo;s) efforts to dig a hole and hide my head in sand about my daily PMO affecting my sex life. I had two incidences of PIED, and found substitutes in getting a fleshlight to simulate a female vagina and also as a form of stamina training.</p> <p>I then somehow landed on the Amazon page of Allen Carr’s best seller book on how to stop smoking. I used it to quit my smoking by the time I completed the reading. I felt so light and happy about quitting, how can I not be, I don’t have the feelings of misery and self-sacrifice. I don’t even feel the ‘resistance to temptations’ that most feel which taxes their will power. I know I found something that will work for me. Now, cigarettes are not the society’s favourite anyway and it carried a social stigma so that would be easy, right? I then challenged myself to my next problem, alcohol - where my frequent excesses were starting to bother me. I realized that I am finding excuses and minimizing my nasty and shameful drunken behaviours many times. I can also see I am using it as a crutch and also as pleasure - but more of the former. I guess that it has to do my nature of being melancholic. And yes, I was able to kick that habit as well.</p> @@ -4518,7 +4518,7 @@ Do not take anything for granted. Question not only what I tell you but also you <p>Some PUA<sup id="fnref:2"><a href="#fn:2" class="footnote-ref" role="doc-noteref">2</a></sup> experts say something like: PMO only once in four days “ Every PMOer knows that it is the one day that most PMOers will do twice as many as they usually do and sometimes they ‘close the shop’ to run home knowing that it is their final day of ‘fasting’ and because no one like being told what to do, particularly by people who dismiss PMOers as mere idiots and don&rsquo;t understand their problem.</p> <p>Because they don&rsquo;t completely understand PMOers themselves or how to make it easy for them to quit, their attitude is &lsquo;Try this method. If it doesn&rsquo;t work try another: Can you imagine if there were ten different ways of treating appendicitis? Nine of them cured 10 per cent of the patients, which means they killed 90 per cent of them and the tenth way cured 95 per cent. Imagine that knowledge of the tenth method had been available for free, but the vast majority of the medical profession was still recommending the other nine.</p> <p>Someone pointed out that doctors might well find themselves liable to a legal action for malpractice, by not advising their patients of the best way to quit. Ironically he was a great advocate of substituting methods (soft porn, solo, nude only, porn-diet etc), I try hard not to be vindictive, but I hope he becomes the first victim of his suggestion.</p> -<p>There are many websites that talk about the harms of PMO. You can find content that explains scientifically the harms of high speed internet porn on the brain. There is much literature and studies of neuro chemicals and the neuroplasticity of the brain and how it is affected by PMO. I read many comments on forums and blogs of how some were able to overcome the addiction. They might just as well have wasted it on trying to persuade their readers that motorbikes can kill you. Do they not realize that youngsters know that one ‘look’ at a tube site won&rsquo;t kill them and that no youngster ever expects to get hooked? The link between porn and PIED porn induced ED, has been established for some time now. Yet more youngsters are becoming hooked nowadays than ever before.</p> +<p>There are many websites that talk about the harms of PMO. You can find content that explains scientifically the harms of high speed internet porn on the brain. There is much literature and studies of neurochemicals and the neuroplasticity of the brain and how it is affected by PMO. I read many comments on forums and blogs of how some were able to overcome the addiction. They might just as well have wasted it on trying to persuade their readers that motorbikes can kill you. Do they not realize that youngsters know that one ‘look’ at a tube site won&rsquo;t kill them and that no youngster ever expects to get hooked? The link between porn and PIED porn induced ED, has been established for some time now. Yet more youngsters are becoming hooked nowadays than ever before.</p> <p>Youngsters don&rsquo;t need to be preached on the harms of PIED, hypofrontality, dopamine surge and the resulting cutting down of the associated dopamine receptors. Young and old PMOers tend to avoid such materials anyway. Practically every subscriber and reader of sites such as YBOP knows the brain science and the self-sabotage nature of PMO. I myself has seen the damages in my personal life. On a more serious note, two men in my own family had MO addiction ( porn was not prevalent 20 yrs ago) and I can see how they were peevish and melancholic when they felt deprived or guilty related to their MO. But that didn&rsquo;t prevent me from falling into the trap.</p> <p>However, the snowball won&rsquo;t become an avalanche until the medical profession and the media stop recommending methods that make it harder to quit and accept that EASYPEASYWAY is not just another method: BUT THE ONLY SENSIBLE METHOD TO USE! I don&rsquo;t expect you to believe me at this stage, but by the time you have finished the book, you will understand.</p> <p>Even the comparatively few failures that we have say something like: &lsquo;I haven&rsquo;t succeeded yet, but your way is better than any I know.&rsquo; If when you finish the book, you feel that you owe me a debt of gratitude, you can more than repay that debt. Not just by recommending EASYPEASYWAY to your friends, but whenever you see or read an article advocating some other method, email to them asking why they aren&rsquo;t advocating EASYWAY.</p> @@ -4574,8 +4574,7 @@ easy to quit.</p> <li>It takes willpower to quit</li> <li>Once an addict always an addict</li> <li>Telling PMOers that it will turn them into robots will make them to quit</li> -<li>Substitutes, particularly soft porn, reality porn, solo naked only porn etc.. and training toys -such as fleshlight, helps PMOers to regain their full unfading erections.</li> +<li>Substitutes, particularly soft porn, reality porn, solo naked only porn etc.. and training toys such as fleshlight, helps PMOers to regain their full unfading erections.</li> <li>All porn is same in their rate of addictiveness</li> <li>In particular, when I had dispelled the illusion that it is difficult to quit and that you have to go through a transitional period of misery in order to do so, I naively thought that the rest of