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The Willpower Method of Stopping#
It is an accepted fact in our society that it is very difficult to stop PMO. Even books and forums advising you how to do so usually start off by telling you how difficult it is. The truth is that it is ridiculously easy. Yes, I can understand you questioning that statement but just consider it. If your aim is to run a mile in under four minutes, that’s difficult. You may have to undergo years of hard training and even then you may be physically incapable of doing it. (Much of our achievement lies in the mind. Isn’t it strange how difficult it was until Roger Bannister actually did it but nowadays it is commonplace?).
However, in order to stop PMOing all you have to do is not watch internet porn and or masturbate any more. No one forces you to masturbate (apart from yourself) and unlike food or drink, you don’t need it to survive. So if you want to stop doing it, why should it be difficult? In fact, it isn’t. It is PMOers who make it difficult by using the Willpower Method. I define the Willpower Method as any method that forces the PMOer to feel he is making some sort of sacrifice. Let us just consider the Willpower Method.
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Beware of Cutting Down#
Many PMOers resort to cutting down either as a stepping-stone towards stopping or as an attempt to control the little monster. Many recommend cutting down or a ‘porn diet’
Usually cutting down follows failed attempts to stop. After a few hours or days of abstinence the PMOer says to himself something like:
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Just One Peek#
“Just one peek” is a myth you must get out of your mind:
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Casual PMOers, Teenagers, Non PMOers#
Heavy PMOers tend to envy the casual porn user. We’ve all met these characters: “Oh, I can go all week without a PMO, it really doesn’t bother me.” We think: “I wish I were like that!” I know this is hard to believe but no PMOer enjoys being a PMOer. Never forget:
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The YouTube PMOer#
The YouTube PMOer should be grouped with casual PMOers but the effects of a YouTube PMOer are so insidious that it merits a separate chapter. It can lead to the breakdown of personal self control. In one case it nearly caused a split for a No-Fap forum user.
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A Social Habit?#
Health of mind and body are the main reason why we should want to stop but then they always have been. We do not actually need scientific research and knowledge in brain chemistry to tell us that internet porn is addictive and can potentially shatter our lives. These bodies of ours are the most sophisticated objects on the planet and any PMOer knows instantly, from the first session, that the stimulus can go to excess and it can turn poisonous.
The only reason why we ever get involved with internet porn is the PMO’s overlap with their evolutionary brain programming. Porn is available for free and it gets streamed 24 hours a day. No risk and no traces and with very high brain rewards. Porn was once considered as harmless but that was when the images were static and involved a trip to the local store for a VHS tape.
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Timing#
Apart from the obvious point that as it is doing you no good, now is the right time to stop. I believe timing is important. Our society treats internet porn flippantly as a slightly distasteful habit that can not injure your health. It is not. It is drug addiction, a disease and a destroyer of relationships in society. The worst thing that happens in most PMOer’s lives is getting hooked on that awful addiction. If they stay hooked, horrendous things happen. Timing is important to give yourself the right to a proper cure.
First of all, identify the times or occasions when PMO appears to be important to you. If you are a businessman and use it for the illusion of relief of stress, pick a relatively slack period; a good idea is to choose your annual holiday. If you PMO mainly during boring or relaxing periods, weekends etc. do the opposite. In any event, take the matter seriously and make the attempt the most important thing in your life.
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Will I Miss the Fun?#
No! Once that little porn monster is dead and your body stops craving dopamine and the porn water slides in your brain start to fade due to lack of ‘greasing’, any remaining brainwashing will vanish and you will find yourself both physically and mentally better equipped not only to cope with the stresses and strains of life but to enjoy the good times to the full.
There is only one danger and that is the influence of those who still use sex as their lying crutch and damned pleasure. “The other man’s grass is always greener,” is commonplace in many aspects of our lives and is easily understandable. Why is it in the case of PMOing, where the disadvantages are so enormous as compared with even the illusory ‘advantages,’ that the ex-PMOer tend to envy the man or woman who appears to demand sex and use porn for pleasure and a crutch?
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Can I Compartmentalize?#
This is another myth about PMOing spread mainly by PMOers who, when attempting to stop on the Willpower Method, substitute mental gymnastics - they propose to act -Jekyll and Hyde: “Porn is for my alter ego side and real life romance is for my relationship side.” Nothing is further from the truth. The porn waterslides - the deltaFosBs and all the brain changes are going to overrun the real life romance and will make it less desirable. Mr Hyde is most definitely going to overrule Dr. Jekyll’s instructions.
If you use internet porn, you may be training yourself for the role of voyeur or to need the option of clicking to something more arousing at the least drop in your dopamine levels, or to search and search for just the right scene for maximum effect. Also, you may be masturbating in a hunched-over position – or watching your smartphone in bed nightly. You will eventually desire those cues more than the real life action. The thing that goes against real sex is the lack of novelty, variety, ‘harem’ like 24/7 quick delivery etc. and so it stands no chance compared to your online harem. The younger you were when you started on PMO the longer to rewire and break down those ‘porn water slides’ and get back those ‘real water slides’ if there were any from the past or create new ones. Also powerful and lasting are the associated memories from when you were young.
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Avoid False Incentives#
Many PMOers, while trying to stop on the Willpower Method, attempt to increase their motivation by building up false incentives. There are many examples of this, a typical one is, “I will reward myself with a gift after no-PMO for a month.” This appears to be a logical and sensible approach but in fact it is false because any self-respecting PMOer would rather continue PMOing every day than receive a “self given gift.” In any case there is a doubt in the PMOer’s mind because not only will she have to abstain for thirty days but will she even enjoy the days without a PMO? Her only pleasure or crutch is taken away! All this does is to increase the size of the sacrifice that the PMOer feels she is making, which makes it even more precious in her mind.
Other examples: “I’ll stop PMO so that I will force myself to get a social life and seek more sex in real life” OR “I’ll stop so some magical energy will help me to leap above the competitors and get this woman I pursue” OR “I commit to not waste my energy and enthusiasm in PMO, so I can grow enough hunger in myself.” These are true and can be effective and you may end up getting what you want. But think about it for a second - if you do get what you had wanted, once the novelty has gone you will feel deprived - if you didn’t then you will feel miserable and either way sooner or later you will fall for the trap again.
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The Easy Way to Stop#
This chapter contains instructions about the easy way to stop PMO. Providing you follow the instructions, you will find that stopping ranges from relatively easy to enjoyable! But remember the definition of a brunette: “a girl who didn’t read the instructions on the bottle.” It is ridiculously easy to stop PMO. All you have to do is two things:
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The Withdrawal Period#
For up to three weeks after your last PMO session you may be subjected to withdrawal pangs. These consist of two quite separate factors:
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Just One Peek#
This is the undoing of many PMOers who try to stop on the Willpower Method. They will go through three or four days and then have the odd peek or a PMO or two to tide them over. They do not realize the devastating effect this has on their morale.
For most PMOers that first peek at the tube site harem was not as good as sex with a real person. The clips that are clean are far in between. This gives their conscious minds a boost. They think, “Good. That wasn’t entirely all that enjoyable. I am losing the urge to PMO and I am not that much into the shocking stuff.” In fact, the reverse is the case. Get it clear in your mind - enjoyment of orgasm wasn’t the reason why you hit porn. If PMOers were there for orgasm alone, they’d never watch more than one clip. The only reason why you PMO was to feed that little monster. Just think: you had starved him for four days. How precious that one peek must have been to him. You are not aware of it in your conscious mind but the fix your body received will be communicated to your subconscious mind and all your sound preparation will be undermined. There will be a little voice at the back of your mind saying, “In spite of all the logic they are precious. I want another one.”
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Will It Be Harder for Me?#
The combinations of factors that will determine how easily each individual PMOer will quit are infinite. To start with, each of us has his own character, type of work, personal circumstances, timing, etc. Certain professions may make it harder than others but providing the brainwashing is removed it doesn’t have to be so. A few individual examples will help.
It tends to be particularly difficult for members of the medical profession. We think it should be easier for doctors because they are more aware of the effects of ill- health and are seeing daily evidence of it. Although this supplies more forceful reasons for stopping, it doesn’t make it any easier to do. The reasons are these:
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The Main Reasons for Failure
There are two main reasons for failure. The first is the influence of external stimuli - a commercial, online news articles, internet browsing etc. At a weak moment or even during a social occasion somebody will get intimate with their partner. I have already dealt with this topic at length. Use that moment to remind yourself that there is no such thing as one visit or one peek. Rejoice in the fact that you have broken the chain of mental slavery. Remember that the PMOer envies you, and feel sorry for him. Believe me, he needs your pity. The other main reason for failure is having a bad day. Get it clear in your mind before you start that, whether you are a PMOer or a non-PMOer, there are good days and bad days. It rains for both the pope and the murderer.
Life is a matter of relativity and you cannot have ups without having downs. The problem with the Willpower Method of stopping is that as soon as the PMOer has a bad day he starts moping for his ‘harem’ visit and all that does is make a bad day worse. The non-PMOer is better equipped, not only physically but also mentally, to cope with the stresses and strains of life. If you have a bad day during the withdrawal period just take it on the chin. Remind yourself that you had bad days when you were addicted (otherwise you wouldn’t have decided to stop). Instead of moping about it, say to yourself something like, “OK, today’s not so good but masturbating is not going to cure it. Tomorrow will be better and at least I have got a marvellous bonus at the moment. I have kicked that awful PMO habit.”
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Substitutes#
Substitutes include restricting to porn magazines, static internet images, going on a porn-dietDO NOT USE ANY OF THEM . They make it harder, not easier. If you do get a pang and use a substitute it will prolong the pang and make it harder. What you are really saying is, “I need to PMO to fill the void.” It will be like giving in to a hijacker or the tantrums of a child. It will just keep the pangs coming and prolong the torture. In any event the substitutes will not relieve the pangs. Your craving is for amino acids in the brain. All it will do is keep you thinking about PMOing. Remember these points:
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Should I Avoid Temptation Situations?#
I have been direct in my advice so far and would ask you to treat this advice as instruction rather than suggestion. I am explicit and direct, first because there are sound, practical reasons for my advice and second, because those reasons have been backed up by thousands of case studies. On the question of whether or not to try to avoid temptation during the withdrawal period, I regret that I cannot be direct. Each PMOer will need to decide for himself. I can, however, make what I hope
will be helpful suggestions, I repeat that it is fear that keeps us to PMO all our lives and this fear consists of two distinct phases:
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The Moment of Revelation#
The moment of revelation usually takes place about three weeks after stopping. The sky appears to become brighter and it is the moment when the brainwashing ends completely. When instead of telling yourself you do not need to PMO, you suddenly realize that the last thread is broken and you can enjoy the rest of your life without ever needing PMO again. It is also usually from this point that you start looking at other PMOers as objects of pity.
PMOers using the Willpower Method do not normally experience this moment because although they are glad to be ex-PMOers they continue through life believing they are making a sacrifice. The more you were addicted, the more marvellous this moment is and it lasts a lifetime. I consider I have been very fortunate in this life and had some wonderful moments but the most wonderful of all was that moment of revelation. With all the other highlights of my life, although I can remember they were happy times, I can never recapture the actual feeling. I can never get over the joy of not having to PMO any more. If ever I am feeling low and need a boost nowadays, I just think how lovely it is not to be hooked on that awful addiction. Half the people who contact me after they have stopped visiting the online harems say exactly the same thing: that it was the most marvellous event of their lives. Ah! What pleasure you have to come! With additional feedback, both from forums and personal interactions, I have learned that in most cases the moment of revelation occurs not after three weeks, as stated above, but within a few days.
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The Final Visit#
Having decided on your timing, you are now ready to visit your harem one last time. Before you do so, check on the two essentials:
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A Final Warning#
No PMOer, given the chance of going back to the time before he became hooked with the knowledge he has now, would opt to start. Many of the them who consult me are convinced that if I could only help them stop, they would never dream of PMOing again, and yet thousands of PMOers successfully kick the habit for many years and lead perfectly happy lives, only to get trapped once again. I trust that this book will help you to find it relatively easy to stop. But be warned: PMOers who find it easy to stop find it easy to start again, DO NOT FALL FOR THIS TRAP.
No matter how long you have stopped or how confident you are that you will never become hooked again, make it a rule of life not to PMO for any reason. Resist the allusions and innuendoes in the media, and remember they are pushing their image of ‘openness’ by bringing porn into mainstream without realizing how porn, internet porn etc. are killers of relationships and of the personal sense of well being for a huge number of men and some women.
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Feedback#
This method will be pooh-poohed by the so-called experts - as I have kept it thin, deliberately, on the ‘science’ side of porn addiction. This ‘hackbook’ is based on a very successful technique used by Alan Carr for quitting smoking, alcohol and gambling. I have personally broken away from the prisons of cigarette, alcohol and internet porn with this technique. I’d like to add here that I’ve tried some of the best programmes - such as CBT, DEADS and AVERT before arriving at the EasyWay. I could not close the deal. I was then led to studying about self hypnosis that deals with bad habits. The key idea that sold me on this method is his emphasis on the “feelings of misery and deprivation, misery and sacrifice, misery and guilt.” If you use the Will Power method you will invariably have all or one of these awful feelings that in themselves provide the grease to slide back to the addiction.
I’m not a do-gooder. My war - which, I emphasize, is not against PMOers but against the porn trap, I wage for the purely selfish reason that I enjoy it. Every time I hear of a PMOer escaping from the prison I get a feeling of great pleasure, even when it has nothing to do with me. You can imagine also the immense pleasure I obtain from the grateful letters that I have received over time.
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Help the PMOer Left on the Sinking Ship#
PMOers are panicking nowadays. They sense that there is a change in the way internet porn is perceived by men and women. Internet porn’s addictive nature is being studied by more and more people. It is now rightly regarded not as the same as old traditional porn. It’s easy reach and effortless availability raises alarm even in the hearts of porn supporters. They also sense that their crusade for free speech and free thought is being hijacked by vicious elements. The wild wild west nature of the unpoliced internet makes it hard for enforcing age restrictive access to supranormal stimuli. Yet I don’t think this whole thing will be coming to an end anytime soon. Thousands of PMOers are now stopping and all porn users are conscious of the new brain studies that point their studied fingers to the similarities of drug and substance addiction. Every time a PMOer leaves the sinking ship, the ones left on it feel more miserable. Every PMOer instinctively knows that it is ridiculous to self sabotage and spend time in front of two dimensional pixels, treat the poor brain to super surges, develop porn brain water slides that will guarantee him unreliable erections and fading penetrations. If you still don’t think it is silly, try talking to a porn magazine standing at the centre of the city square and ask yourself what the difference is. Just one. You cannot get the pleasure of warmth and intimacy that way. If you can stop buying alcohol and cigarettes every time you go grocery shopping you can definitely stop visiting your online harems. PMOers cannot find a rational reason for PMOing but if someone else is doing it, they do not feel quite so silly.
PMOers blatantly lie about their habit, not only to others and university researchers but worse of all to themselves. They have to. The brainwashing is essential if they are to retain some self-respect. They feel the need to justify their “habit” not only to themselves but to non-PMOers. They are therefore forever advertising the illusory advantages of porn and PMO by more subtler means.
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Advice to Non-PMOers#
HELP GET YOUR PMO FRIENDS TO READ THIS BOOK#
First study the contents of this book and try to put yourself in the place of the PMOer. Do not force him to read this book or try to stop him by telling him he is ruining his health or playing with fire. He already knows this better than you do. PMOers do not continue in it because they enjoy it or because they want to. They only tell themselves and other people this in order to retain self-respect. They do it because they feel dependent on PMO because they think that it relaxes them and gives them courage and confidence (pleasure or crutch) and that life will never be enjoyable without “sex” - their version of it. If you try to force a PMOer to stop, he feels like a trapped animal and wants to be in his harem even more. This may turn him into a secret PMOer and in his mind the porn will become even more precious (see Chapter 26).
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Should I Tell My SO#
Should I tell my wife, girlfriend and SO about my PMO? The intention here is that it would help you in quitting. I am of the solid opinion that all these are not needed. It would only reinforce your weakness against PMO.
If you slip, you will feel miserable and guilty if you are following the Willpower Method. Add to that the feeling of deceiving your loved one will definitely push you through the vicious cycle of slip-lapse-relapse.
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The Instructions#
Follow all the instructions.
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REBT Coping Statements#
“I can stop PMO, even though it appears ‘hard’ to do so. It’s not too hard and no matter how much trouble it takes, it’s worth it!”
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Scripts-01#
You are relaxed now and because you are so relaxed you begin to feel free from all tensions, anxiety and fear. You now realize that you are more confident and sure of yourself because you have taken the enormous first step toward helping yourself. Great!
You begin to feel this strength from within, motivating you to overcome any and every obstacle that may stand in the way of your happiness, social life and home life. You are not a slave to PMO any more!
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Scripts-02#
As you go deeper and deeper relaxed all of the sounds fade away in the distance and you pay attention only to the sound of my voice. As you listen carefully to the sound of my voice, we are going to remove a number of suggestions which have been in your mind. We are going to remove them completely and as you listen carefully to them we’re simply going to dissolve them… throw them out of your mind completely and forever… Nothing disturbs you and nothing bothers you and nothing can distract you in any way from listening to the sound of my voice… and from completely accepting everything I tell you… for everything I tell you is the absolute truth to you… and we’re going to remove all suggestions from your mind that have been detrimental to you in the past.
The first suggestion you had in your mind is that somehow or another that porn, an image, an illusion, has been of some use to you. Masturbating to porn is of no use to you and you know it. You’re through PMO for any reason. It doesn’t make you relax, it doesn’t make you sleep well, it doesn’t do anything for you. As a matter of fact it ruins your efficiency… and consequently you’re through with it. The fact that porn has ever been beneficial to you in any way is completely removed from your mind. I am going to count to five and that suggestion is completely removed from your mind never to return. One, Two, Three, Four, Five.
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Scripts-03#
Now as you sink deeper and deeper relaxed all of the sounds fade away in the distance. You pay no attention to any other sound but the sound of my voice. You sink deeper and deeper with every breath you take. Deeper and deeper and deeper, way down, deeper and deeper relaxed.
In the past porn may have been to you something that meant life. In your mind you may have accepted a suggestion that porn saves your life from boredom or porn protects you from being injured socially, porn is good for you in some manner or another. But that was yesterday and we are in the future. All that was yesterday, because porn may have protected you from injury in the past socially, it could have even saved your life from boredom.
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Scripts-04#
To an individual who has had a PMO problem, porn is poison. It’s poison in two ways. First of all it’s poison because it breaks down the very will power, the very ego, the very faith in oneself that the individual is able to build up. And so it is a psychological poison because having once conquered the porn problem, if you ever allow it to get back into you again then you begin thinking about yourself all the thoughts that you thought about yourself before, namely, well I really am no good anyway, I really didn’t lick it and so on. So it’s a psychological poison.
Now in addition to that for anyone who has ever had a porn problem, it’s a physical poison. It actually poisons your system. Because you’re allergic to porn just like other people are allergic to other things. And so if you’re allergic to something, even penicillin, it’s poison to you and you must never take it. The same is true with porn. If you’re allergic to it, you’re through with it. Now you’ve been allergic to porn. porn is a poison to you. What’s even more fascinating is that usually the reason why one is drawn to porn is not for most of the reasons that most people reiterate, namely that it makes me feel good, I like it, all these things. On the contrary, almost every person who has a porn problem will tell you just the opposite. I don’t like it. It’s ruining my life. It’s terrible.
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Scripts-05#
“Go inside and try in vain to have the same problem. It was a terrible problem, wasn’t it? You want to make changes, haven’t you?… What would it be like when you have made those changes, now? In the future as you look back and see what it was like to have had that problem… as you think about it now, if you could make this change for yourself so that you could STOP… having made that change and see yourself now. Do you like the way you look if you could make that change and look back at yourself having made that change now!”
Credit to http://www.hypnosis.com/scripts_full.php?id2=48
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The “ecofascists,” as I understand that term, share, at a minimum, two traits:
They do not advocate total rejection of modern technology; instead, they want to create a society in which technology will be “limited and “wisely” used in such a way as to ensure the ecological health of our planet.
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I have to begin by saying that I am deeply dissatisfied with this book. It should have been an organized and systematic exposition of a series of related ideas. Instead, it is an unorganized collection of writings that expound the ideas unsystematically. And some ideas that I consider important are not even mentioned. I simply have not had the time to organize, rewrite, and complete the contents of this book. The principal reason why I have not had time is that agencies of the United States government have created unnecessary legal difficulties for me. To mention only the most important of these difficulties, the United States Attorney for the Eastern District of California has formally proposed to round up and confiscate the original and every copy of everything I have ever written and turn over all such papers to my alleged “victims” through a fictitious sale that will allow the “victims” to acquire all of the papers without having to pay anything for them. Under this plan, the government would even confiscate papers that I have given to libraries, including papers that have been on library shelves for several years. The documents in which the United States Attorney has put forward this proposal are available to the public: They are Document 704 and Document 713, Case Number CR-S-96-2S9 GEB, United States District Court for the Eastern District of California.
At this writing, I have the assistance of lawyers in resisting the government’s actions in regard to my papers. But I have learned from hard experience that it is unwise to leave everything in the hands of lawyers; one is well advised to research the legal issues oneself, keep track of what the lawyers are doing, and intervene when necessary. Such work is time-consuming, especially when one is confined in a maximum-security prison and therefore has only very limited access to law books.
I would have preferred to delay publication of the present book until I’d had time to prepare its contents properly, but it seemed advisable to publish before the government took action to confiscate all my papers. I have, moreover, another reason to avoid delay: The Federal Bureau of Prisons has proposed new regulations that would allow prison wardens to cut off almost all communications between allegedly “terrorist” prisoners and the outside world. The proposed regulations are published in the Federal Register, Volume 71, Number 63, pages 16520–25.
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1. The Purpose Of This Article. 2. Technology Is The Target.